Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    He always fails until the moment he loses interest and decides to die, which he doesn’t. Instead he is promoted. The Prince and the Singularity – A Circular Tale proposes a fictitious Creation Myth, whisking the readers away on a thought-provoking rollercoaster ride of a story that will make them question as never before what they truly believe about the nature of existence. At once funny and controversial, it can be viewed as a heretical twist on established religious teachings or as a sweet and sensitive depiction of the ascension of a Bodhisattva or as. . . well, it’s up to whoever is reading it, really. You will get out of this story exactly what you put into it. Love it or hate it, though, you will not be able to remain indifferent to the message of this funny, touching, thought-provoking book.

    Gifts from the game gods for every person. The perfect magic for every user.Seth, a popular streamer, can’t wait to see what this new world has in store. It’s sure to be a blast for a guy who always plays a caster, and his friends are going to be right in the thick of it with him! The game boasts algorithms designed to read biometrics and brain patterns to find the perfect magical fit for the user—magic so personalized that no two casters will ever be the same. In fact, the game company is so sure they will always be right that you can’t remake your character.The unthinkable happened. The safeties and the guarantees failed, not just once but apparently only to them. The company has informed them that the system is infallible: there is nothing they will do. Players must use what they are given, so Seth and his team have no other choice—they need to grind it out and evolve their gifts in time to stream.Loading… Welcome to Mephisto’s Magic Online!

    But he needed one…Emily and her husband Sandy Portman seemed to live a gracious if busy life in an old-world, Upper West Side apartment in the famous Dakota building.  But one night on the way to meet Emily, Sandy dies in a tragic accident.  The funeral isn't even over before Emily learns she is on the verge of being evicted from their apartment.  But worse than the possibility of losing her home, Emily is stunned when she discovers that her marriage was made up of lies.  Suddenly Emily is forced on a journey to find out who her husband really was . . . all the while feeling that somehow he isn't really gone.  Angry, hurt, and sometimes betrayed by loving memories of the man she lost, Emily finds comfort in a scruffy dog named Einstein.  But is Einstein's seemingly odd determination that she save herself enough to make Emily confront her own past?  Can he help her find a future—even after she meets a new man?

    Shipped to Princeton University for study, the box contains mysteries that only Lucas, aided by brilliant archaeologist Simone Rashid, can unlock.These mysteries may, in fact, defy—or fulfill—the dire prophecies of Albert Einstein himself.Struggling to decipher the sarcophagus’s strange contents, Lucas and Simone unwittingly release forces for both good and unmitigated evil. The fate of the world hangs not only on Professor Einstein’s secret research but also on Lucas’s ability to defeat an unholy adversary more powerful than anything he ever imagined.From the mind of bestselling author and award-winning journalist Robert Masello comes a thrilling, page-turning adventure where modern science and primordial supernatural powers collide.

    No one expected the end of the world to start with a tea disaster, but in these nine brand new fantasy, paranormal, and sci-fi romance stories, that's just what happened.Enter eight post-apocalyptic worlds filled with witches, shifters, aliens, and more in these tales steeped in adventure, love, and magic.Grab yourself a brew and one-click this limited edition collection from nine USA Today Bestselling authors today! All proceeds from the sale of the Teapocalypse anthology will be donated to the Tea Leaf Trust.Includes:All The Tea In Texas by Margo Bond Collins, New York Times Bestselling AuthorAlien Abduction For Milkmen by Skye MacKinnon, USA Today Bestselling AuthorNymph's Trust by Laura Greenwood & Arizona Tape, USA Today Bestselling AuthorsWhy Yes There Are Witches by Rebecca Royce, USA Today Bestselling AuthorDo It For The Tea by Erin Bedford, USA Today Bestselling AuthorTotally Steeped by Zoey Indiana, USA Today Bestselling AuthorA Cup Of Sin by Demelza Carlton, USA Today Bestselling AuthorRefresh by Jade Waltz, USA Today Bestselling Author

    After her parents and sister are abducted by the Enforcers, seventeen-year-old Adele, a member of the middle-class moon dwellers, is unjustly sentenced to life in prison for her parents' crimes of treason.Against all odds, Adele must escape from the Pen and find her family, while being hunted by a deranged, killing machine named Rivet, who works for the President. She is helped by two other inmates, Tawni and Cole, each of whom have dark secrets that are better left undiscovered. Other than her friends, the only thing she has going for her is a wicked roundhouse kick and two fists that have been well-trained for combat by her father.At the other end of the social spectrum is Tristan, the son of the President and a sun dweller. His mother is gone. He hates his father. Backed by only his servant and best friend, Roc, he leaves his lavish lifestyle in the Sun Realm, seeking to make something good out of his troubled life.When a war breaks out within the Tri-Realms, Tristan is thrust into the middle of a conflict that seems to mysteriously follow Adele as she seeks to find her family and uncover her parents true past.In their world, someone must die.

    The lone survivor of her family’s unexplained assassination, she was saved by an ingeniously crafted clockwork heart. But the time she was given won’t last forever. Now, every tick-tock reminds her how fragile her existence is and hastens her quest to expose Killian Markham, the navy admiral who shattered her world and left her for dead. But Everley’s hunt for justice will be a long and hard-won voyage.Her journey takes her to a penal colony on a cursed isle, where she will be married off and charged to build the new world. It is here, and beyond, that hidden realms hide, treasures are unearthed, her family secrets are buried, and young love will test the strength of her makeshift heart. When Everley discovers Markham may not be who he seems, her pursuit for truth is bound to his redemption, her tragic history, and her astonishing destiny.

    The Spot and Smudge series explores the love of a unique family, the loyalty of their very special dogs, and the perils of underestimating them. These smart, imaginative stories weave together elements of horror, thriller, mystery, espionage, crime, medical drama, and genetic engineering. Note: This series contains some colorful language and mature themes. "Shove over brother, let me show you the proper bloody way to strangle someone." The Hogans weren’t looking to start a war. They just wanted to leave their troubles behind, move closer to grandma, and let their kids adopt some damn puppies. But their quaint new town is harboring some gruesome secrets… …and their strange new pups are not what they appear to be. There’s a dark connection between these mysterious orphaned canines and the town’s twisted criminals…and that connection is dragging the Hogans into a ruthless fight they aren’t prepared to win. But the grit of a devoted family, like the loyalty of a faithful pair of dogs, shouldn't be underestimated… …Especially when those cunning dogs are the most significant leap forward in the forty million years of canine evolution.

    Locked away in a home for troubled children, he's told there's something wrong with him. So when he meets a flock of talking pigeons and a bossy cockroach, Kester thinks he's finally gone crazy. But the animals have something to say. And they need him. The pigeons fly Kester to a wild place where the last creatures in the land have survived. A wise stag needs Kester's help, and together they must embark on a great journey, joined along the way by an overenthusiastic wolf cub, a military-trained cockroach, a mouse with a ritual for everything, and a stubborn girl named Polly. The animals saved Kester Jaynes. But can Kester save the animals?

    When violence strikes, reality star Duncan Humphrey Ripple V, the spoiled scion of the metropolis’ last dynasty; Baroness Swan Lenore Dahlberg, his tempestuous, death-obsessed betrothed; and Abby, a feral beauty he discovered tossed out with the trash; are forced to flee everything they've ever known. As they wander toward the scalded heart of the city, they face fire, conspiracy, mayhem, unholy drugs, dragon-worshippers, and the monsters lurking inside themselves. In this bombshell of a novel, Chandler Klang Smith has imagined an unimaginable world: scathingly clever and gorgeously strange, The Sky Is Yours is at once faraway and disturbingly familiar, its singular chaos grounded in the universal realities of love, family, and the deeply human desire to survive at all costs.The Sky Is Yours is incredibly cinematic, bawdy, rollicking, hilarious, and utterly unforgettable, a debut that readers who loved Cloud Atlas, Super Sad True Love Story, and Blade Runner will adore.

    Includes The Amplified, The Dissenters, and The Restrainers.

    Only Tekla cares enough to search for her over the years. As Ka Li survives fierce predators and scarce resources she leaves behind a series of signal cairns to help Tekla find her.Skipping forward 60,000 years, Helen Ryland, a mid-twentieth century archaeologist, unearths one of Ka Li's surviving signal cairns and realizes she has found trace of people who populated the Americas even before the Clovis culture. Helen's detective work tracking Ka Li's timeless signals across the Alaskan wilderness now intertwines with Ka Li's story. As Helen solves the puzzle of the signal cairns she finds universal fame and suffers devastating misfortune. In the end Helen discovers that science in isolation cannot answer all of her questions, for Tekla's devotion to Ka Li had not died even though six hundred centuries had passed.

    This book presents the adventures of a young raven who arrives unexpectedly - with no memory of his past - to join the Raven's End flock at Yamnuska, east of Banff. It describes how he learns about the beautiful and dangerous landscape.

    Behind everything crouched the brooding, festering horror of the ancient town, and of the moldy, unhallowed garret gable where he wrote and studied and wrestled with figures and formulae when he was not tossing on the meager iron bed. His ears were growing sensitive to a preternatural and intolerable degree, and he had long ago stopped the cheap mantel clock whose ticking had come to seem like a thunder of artillery. At night the subtle stirring of the black city outside, the sinister scurrying of rats in the wormy partitions, and the creaking of hidden timbers in the centuried house, were enough to give him a sense of strident pandemonium. The darkness always teemed with unexplained sound—and yet he sometimes shook with fear lest the noises he heard should subside and allow him to hear certain other fainter noises which he suspected were lurking behind them.