Broken Bananah is my completely true and overly honest journey through severe genital trauma. What happens when you lose something you love? And... can you really break a penis? Absolutely, and mine was one of the worst on file. Tethered to a catheter and surrounded by that’s-what-she-said jokes, I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: it can always be worse. Experience life and love without a penis in a recovery story that could only happen in New York City. Let’s laugh til we cry, dive into the weird, and grapple with the power of sex in this modern coming-of-something tale.

    Maggie was shot 17 times and subjected to cruelty and torture, before being rescued from Lebanon and brought to live in the UK by a determined and loving young woman called Kasey.As Maggie struggled to overcome her injuries, every day was a fight to rehabilitate her. But Kasey was convinced that what she had found in this little dog was someone just as determined to live and love as she was.This is the incredible story of their journey together: a story of hope, unconditional love and never giving up.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    Whether he's assisting trauma surgeons who are singing “Take me out to the ballgame” while removing a well-placed iconic symbol of America’s greatest past time, learning how fast he can run after being shot at by an angry couple who called for an ambulance, working with a prankster-loving urologist who demonstrates how bladder problems were diagnosed before modern urinalysis, or screaming like a little girl while doing night rounds with a dead flashlight on a psychiatric ward, Cyra’s comedic style of storytelling will make your cheeks sore. Emergency Laughter: Stories of Humor Inside Ambulances and Operating Rooms shows why most health care professionals have such a twisted sense of humor and how critical laughter is to the survival of both patient and care giver.

    "BEFORE You Get Your Puppy" covers the first three developmental deadlines covering the period of puppy selection until your puppy's first week at home. 1st Developmental Deadline: Your Education About Puppy Education - Before you search for a puppy you need to complete your education about puppy education. You need to know how to select a good puppy and how puppies work. Selecting a puppy is similar to selecting a car: Do lots of research beforehand and "test drive" a wide variety. But first, you need to learn how to drive. 2nd Developmental Deadline: Evaluating Your Prospective Puppy's Progress - Before you choose your puppy, you need to know how to assess your prospective puppy's current socialization and educational status. Regardless of breed or breeding, if socialization, housetraining, and basic manners are not well underway by eight weeks of age, the puppy is already developmentally retarded. 3rd Developmental Deadline: Errorless Housetraining & Chewtoy-Training Make certain that an errorless housetraining and chewtoy-training program is instituted from the very first day your puppy comes home.

    

    Welcome to laughing until it hurts while covered in bodily fluids. Welcome to simple math at very high stakes. Welcome to an incredibly inappropriate sense of humor. Welcome to serving people on the most stressful days of their lives. Welcome to putting your hands in places you never imagined they'd be. Welcome to your front row seat to the ballad of life and death. That's not the welcome that this nurse was looking for, but that's the one he got. Irreverent and audacious, this brutally honest memoir covers what it’s like to come of age in an American Hospital. Welcome to a rollicking peak behind the curtain to what medical providers, and the health care system, are truly like.

    Kay Bratt explores these ideas in All (my) Dogs Go to Heaven. Touching on relevant Biblical scriptures, she chronicles her tumultuous past— including a traveling childhood and a near decade of domestic abuse— revealing how her beloved pets helped her cope, and instilled hope for better days ahead. Interspersed within this memoir are short essays from real people who have experienced signs from their departed pets as proof that they are still around in spirit. Included in the back of the book is a Grief Guide to help get us through those first devastating days after our loss.Insightful and fascinating, Kay Bratt has ultimately given us a message of hope with All (my) Dogs Go to Heaven. -Judy Morgan, Founder of Yorkie Rescue of the Carolinas

    29 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of Naked. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on Naked by David Sedaris.

    Remember Me? will give owners of dogs who have canine cognitive dysfunction or other dementia the information they need to weather the difficult condition and give their dogs the most fulfilling life possible. In Remember Me, you will learn about: The symptoms of canine cognitive dysfunction; Medications and other interventions that are showing promise in treating the condition; How to adapt your home and habits to keep your dog safe; The many products available to solve the problems of senior dogs; How to make things easier on yourself, physically and emotionally; and The complex question of euthanasia and how to make your own decision about it. The book includes more than 30 photos of dementia symptoms, tips and tricks, and hazards to avoid when caring for a senior dog. The story of Anderson’s small terrier Cricket, who developed dementia, is threaded through the book. As Cricket's dementia worsened she paced, she circled, she stood in corners, she forgot what she was doing, and at times she lost and found her owner repeatedly. For the last weeks of her life she even forgot how to drink water. As Cricket’s condition deteriorated and needs changed, Anderson learned about the disease and developed methods to care for her dog. She shares these methods in Remember Me? and her calm, conversational tone is soothing to dog owners who are suffering—sometimes more than their dogs.

    The Bathroom Readers' Hysterical Society agrees, and shows it with this endlessly diverting tribute to tabby. From famous cats to the famous with their cats to cats' famous history, from cats who like to paint to cats who travel the world to find their way home, Uncle John's Hysterical Society scours the globe to find the winning-est, wackiest, most wondrous cat tales for this collection.

     A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide: Bringing Your Ragdoll Kitten Home is a comprehensive guide that covers every aspect of kitten care a new owner needs to know written in a warm, friendly tone. What if you knew what to expect and prepare for before you even picked your Ragdoll kitten up? Wouldn't it be nice to know how to kitten proof your home? Or what about what to buy in anticipation for your little one's arrival? Looking for recommended products for a new Ragdoll kitten? Looking for suggestions on everything from water fountains to scratching posts, pet carriers, cat litter, litter boxes, cat bowls, etc....products that a Ragdoll cat owner just can't live without? How about vet visits and cat health insurance? There's a lot to consider and prepare for. A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide includes links to videos and products, and the information presented is from real life experiences, not repeated from other cat books. There are many quick, simple tips that can be used with Ragdoll kittens. The author also has a corresponding website Floppycats.com, where you can easily connect with other Ragdoll cat owners. Here's a peek inside of A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide: Chapter 1 - Getting Your Kitten Safe-Room Ready, Kitten-Proofing, and Other Things Chapter 2 - First Days with Your Kitten and Things to Watch Out For Chapter 3 - Diet, Food and Water Bowls, Treats Chapter 4 - Scratchers, Trees, Toys and Beds Chapter 5 - Vets, Carriers, Vaccinations and Cat Health Insurance Chapter 6 - Nail Trimming, Declawing and Grooming Chapter 7 - Litter Boxes, Automatic Litter Boxes and Litter Scoops Chapter 8 - Dental Care, Teething and Teeth Brushing BONUS: How to Introduce Your New Ragdoll Kitten to a Resident Cat BONUS: Bringing Your Ragdoll Kitten Home Checklist BONUS: Questions to ask Ragdoll Breeders Carefully researched, this guide is a fast and enjoyable read with lots of photos and recommendations for the Ragdoll Kitten owner. Everything is broken down into easy chapters, and Jenny writes as if she is there with you to take you there through the various steps.

    Then everything changed. Peter opened his heart to the Scottish Fold kitten and their adventures to Paris, Fire Island, and in the subways of Manhattan took on the color of legend and mutual love. The Cat Who Went to Paris proves that sometimes all it takes is paws and personality to change a life.In A Cat Abroad, Peter Gethers recounts the further adventures of Norton, the extraordinary cat with the great Scottish Fold ears, who finds new worlds and people to conquer. Norton, who charmed even the most avowed cat haters with his antics in the best-selling The Cat Who Went to Paris, now hightails it to the south of France - stopping off all over Europe along the way - for a year with his favorite human. As always, Norton astounds those around him with his calm, uncatlike demeanor and succeeds in becoming the object of everyone's affections. In America, Norton goes on the TV talk-show circuit, finds himself on the "A" list of desirable celebrities who stay at the ultra-chic Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles, and is the star of a party at Spago, where superstar chef Wolfgang Puck presents him with a Pounce pizza. When Norton and Peter tour the Continent, Norton leaves his mark on Paris, where he encounters five not-so-friendly dogs and a devious chef; Italy, where he almost starts a war over an uneaten sardine; Holland, where he tours the canals; the Swiss Alps, where he has his first raclette dinner; and, of course, Provence, where over the course of a year he hikes in the mountains, makes friends with a goatherder (and his goats), dines in three-star restaurants, and, generally, becomes the most recognizable new inhabitant of the area since Peter Mayle decided to leave London. Along the way, Norton and his human companion face change and learn to understand the problems and the pleasures that come with growing up and growing older together. Like its predecessor, A Cat Abroad is funny, touching, and wise.

    His experience was not the little league, boys-of-summer stuff of modern America. For him, it was life and death. Now middleaged and living in California, Alan finds himself coaching a team of eight-year-olds in his beloved sport—and nothing is going right. For a start, the kids are no good at soccer. Secondly, they’re pampered. Born and bred on the sport, Black’s hardscrabble Scottish upbringing consisted of playing tough and victory at all costs. Needless to say, his coaching methods are a far cry from the “winning isn’t everything” mentality his little leaguers have been reared with; and players and parents alike are shocked as Black attempts to transform the losing team through drills and bombast. Alone at night, watching evangelicals on TV, Black finds himself searching for some truth in the culture he finds so bizarre. And it’s with the Tigers that he feels most out of sync—faced with a mix of soft suburban children, a raft of overprotective parents, and an Iranian co-coach called Ali. Told with Black’s uproarious Scottish sensibility, Kick the Balls follows the abrasive, irreverent, and hilarious coach as he contends with a team that winds up with a zero-win record. Both a celebration of his own tough childhood and an account of one man’s navigation of an alien culture, Kick the Balls will delight fans of well-told, laugh-out-loud memoirs.