Can sit naked in front of book without fear of radiation 9. Reader not distracted by Dave's awful haircut 8. Can be readily enjoyed in Amish households 7. If you fall asleep while reading the book you won't wake up to fat weather guy wishing Happy Birthday to one hundred-year-olds 6. Can use your imagination to picture lists being read aloud by handsome actor George Peppard 5. Origami! Origami! Origami! 4. Can be enjoyed by inmates who have lost their TV privileges 3. Carrying book around proudly announces to rest of world, "I can read large print!" 2. Easier to shoplift than 26-inch Trinitron Stereo Sony 1. Any book is better than Dave's TV show