Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    And St Michael’s Secondary School has got a new member of staff. Jeremy Clovenhoof, has spent six years living the quiet life in the suburbs after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he thinks it’s time to share all he has learned with the next generation. Whether it’s turning toilet graffiti into art, getting a date by making nuisance calls or making the most of being ill, he’s got advice for everyone. Join Clovenhoof at the start of his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

    What was worse though was being kidnapped, held captive for years, and then being auctioned off to the highest bidder. I thought maybe I had caught a little break when I found out that me and five other girls were being sold to royalty, but I should have known something about that wasn't right either.Under the cover of eternal darkness, and deep beneath the ground, was a whole world I never knew existed, one that promised to be more than anything I could imagine. The people who bought us told us we would have a life of a princess, but there were only two catches...1. We would be competing against each other for the affection of the Prince who would change our whole lives by picking one of us to rule at his side.2. That prince just happened to be a vampire.

    In the early 1800s, Nicholas, Jessica and Jon Santa attempt the first human trek to the North Pole and stumble upon an ancient race of people left over from the Ice Age. They are short, fat and hairy. They slide across the ice on scaly soles and carve their homes in the ice that floats on the Arctic Ocean. The elven are adapted to life in the extreme cold. They are as wise as they are ancient.Their scientific advancements have yielded great inventions -- time-stopping devices and gravitational spheres that build living snowmen and genetically-modified reindeer that leap great distances. They’ve even unlocked the secrets to aging. For 40,000 years, they have lived in peace.Until now.An elven known as The Cold One has divided his people. He’s tired of their seclusion and wants to conquer the world. Only one elven stands between The ColdOne and total chaos. He’s white-bearded and red-coated. The Santa family will help him stop The Cold One. They will come to the aid of a legendary elvenknown as...Claus.

    Something alarming enough to make her parents lock her in the garage and call the police. Something that gets her sent to Thurmond, a brutal government “rehabilitation camp.” She might have survived the mysterious disease that’s killed most of America’s children, but she and the others have emerged with something far worse: frightening abilities they cannot control.Now sixteen, Ruby is one of the dangerous ones.When the truth comes out, Ruby barely escapes Thurmond with her life. Now she’s on the run, desperate to find the one safe haven left for kids like her—East River. She joins a group of kids who escaped their own camp. Liam, their brave leader, is falling hard for Ruby. But no matter how much she aches for him, Ruby can’t risk getting close. Not after what happened to her parents.When they arrive at East River, nothing is as it seems, least of all its mysterious leader. But there are other forces at work, people who will stop at nothing to use Ruby in their fight against the government. Ruby will be faced with a terrible choice, one that may mean giving up her only chance at a life worth living.

    While other stories have been told about the real Dracula, Foia's account benefits from the unique perspective of a Transylvanian native and neighbor of the dark prince. Under Foia’s pen, the “Dracula Chronicles” finally pierces the veil of mystery that has shrouded Dracula for over 500 years. The multivolume historical novel unfolds in vivid detail Dracula’s metamorphosis from a naïve and trusting prince to the ruthless law-and-order king whose deeds have spawned the enduring vampire legend. The series takes place on the backdrop of the dying Middle Ages and the blossoming of the Renaissance. It is replete with towering passions, unbridled ambitions, vile betrayals, and righteous revenge. And, as one would expect, blood. "Son of the Dragon", Book One of the series, provides a first ever origin story of the mysterious character whose fame has survived for half a millenium. It begins Dracula's epic journey that will ultimately see the young prince become the famed strongman, warrior, and object of women's desire who has conquered the imagination of millions. Skilled at arms and often reckless, young Dracula seeks out danger to prove his readiness to be a man. An avid reader of history and lover of languages, he uses wit to overcome impossible odds facing him. Then, with a single impulsive step he launches himself into a hostile world capable of devouring even the strongest men. The book resembles a chess game in the intricacy of its historical context lurking beneath the surface. Yet, written with an economy of words that belies its hidden complexity, it reads with the ease of a game of checkers, making it hard for the reader to put down.

    Tom Wallace lived an ordinary life, until a chance event awakened psychic abilities he never knew he possessed. Now he's hearing the private thoughts of the people around him-and learning shocking secrets he never wanted to know. But as Tom's existence becomes a waking nightmare, even greater jolts are in store as he becomes the unwilling recipient of a compelling message from beyond the grave!

    No stranger to controversy, he'd already triggered a furious Twitter storm by mocking an exorcism he witnessed.Then there was that video: forty seconds of chilling footage that Jack repeatedly claimed was not of his making, yet was posted from his own YouTube account.Nobody knew what happened to Jack in the days that followed - until now.

    The Reds are commoners, ruled by a Silver elite in possession of god-like superpowers. And to Mare Barrow, a seventeen-year-old Red girl from the poverty-stricken Stilts, it seems like nothing will ever change. That is until she finds herself working in the Silver Palace. Here, surrounded by the people she hates the most, Mare discovers that, despite her red blood, she possesses a deadly power of her own. One that threatens to destroy the balance of power. Fearful of Mare's potential, the Silvers hide her in plain view, declaring her a long-lost Silver princess, now engaged to a Silver prince. Despite knowing that one misstep would mean her death, Mare works silently to help the Red Guard, a militant resistance group, and bring down the Silver regime. But this is a world of betrayal and lies, and Mare has entered a dangerous dance—Reds against Silvers, prince against prince, and Mare against her own heart.

    He woke up the next morning with a thunderous hangover, a raging headache . . . and a pair of horns growing from his temples.At first Ig thought the horns were a hallucination, the product of a mind damaged by rage and grief. He had spent the last year in a lonely, private purgatory, following the death of his beloved, Merrin Williams, who was raped and murdered under inexplicable circumstances. A mental breakdown would have been the most natural thing in the world. But there was nothing natural about the horns, which were all too real.Once the righteous Ig had enjoyed the life of the blessed: born into privilege, the second son of a renowned musician and younger brother of a rising late-night TV star, he had security, wealth, and a place in his community. Ig had it all, and more—he had Merrin and a love founded on shared daydreams, mutual daring, and unlikely midsummer magic.But Merrin's death damned all that. The only suspect in the crime, Ig was never charged or tried. And he was never cleared. In the court of public opinion in Gideon, New Hampshire, Ig is and always will be guilty because his rich and connected parents pulled strings to make the investigation go away. Nothing Ig can do, nothing he can say, matters. Everyone, it seems, including God, has abandoned him. Everyone, that is, but the devil inside. . . .

    Among the Hidden 2. Among the Impostors 3. Among the Betrayed 4. Among the Barrons 5. Among the Brave

    He is destined to make history like John Glenn and Neil Armstrong. Pierce’s idyllic world screeches to a halt when, three weeks before the historic flight, his wife is killed in a tragic car accident.Determined to carry on with the groundbreaking flight in spite of his grief, Pierce is changed forever when, during the flight, his body is transformed into light. The shock of it all puts Pierce into a deep coma and when he wakes time is not relevant to his mind. Suddenly able to step into visions of the past, Pierce struggles to make sense of what he sees as he learns that his wife’s death was not an accident, but murder and her murderers are after him. As Pierce and the beautiful attorney, Vanessa Trace, sort through the bizarre attacks on Pierce and his vivid visions of the past, they cannot substantiate any evidence to his claims. In a frantic race to stay alive, Pierce and Vanessa find themselves matching wits with a conspiracy with seemingly endless resources and a police department convinced Pierce is a murderer, while at the same time they question whether or not Pierce himself is crazy.Standing out from traditional suspense novels, Speed of Light is fast-paced, intelligent and intricately layered with mind expanding concepts.

    The Abernathys don't mean any harm by their flirtation with the underworld, but when they unknowingly call forth Satan himself, they create a gap in the universe. A gap in which a pair of enormous gates is visible. The gates to Hell. And there are some pretty terrifying beings just itching to get out...Can one small boy defeat evil? Can he harness the power of science, faith, and love to save the world as we know it?Bursting with imagination, The Gates is about the pull between good and evil, physics and fantasy. It is about a quirky and eccentric boy who is impossible not to love, and the unlikely cast of characters who give him the strength to stand up to a demonic power.John Connolly manages to re-create the magical and scary world of childhood that we've all left behind but so love to visit. And for those of you who thought you knew everything you could about particle physics and the universe, think again. This novel makes anything seem possible.

    They are smart, successful, and run their own business. Dr. Monae, and Dr. Erica are married to successful men while Dr. Grace is swearing off men. Dr. Monae is married to one of the most powerful men in Texas, Governor Greg Johnson, who is so consumed with looking good for his peers that he neglects his wife needs. When she starts having eyes for someone else, will she risk her career, and family just to feel loved? Dr. Erica knows that she could be more successful than she already is, and while working towards that goal, she neglects her husband, Bishop Duncan, needs, which is a need for children. When her husband starts to roam, will Dr. Erica, put her own selfish needs aside to give her husband what he so desperately wants? After Dr. Grace catches her soon to be ex-husband in a compromising position, she is done with love and throws herself into her work, until she meets Exodus. Will she be able to put her work aside and try to love again? Secrets, lies, and betrayal seems to be the theme in these three friends professional and personal lives. Will the secrets that each of these friends are holding ruin their lives, or make their bond stronger? This steamy novel full of lust, love, and lies is sure to leave you wanting more.

    But soon it’s discovered that Warwick killed dozens of people as he strove to perfect another improved Ticker for Penny, and he’s put on trial for mass murder. On the last day of Warwick’s trial, the Farthings’ factory is bombed, Penny’s parents disappear, and Penny and her brother, Nic, receive a ransom note demanding all of their Augmentation research if they want to see their parents again. Is someone trying to destroy the Farthings...or is the motive more sinister?Desperate to reunite their family and rescue their research, Penny and her brother recruit fiery baker Violet Nesselrode, gentleman-about-town Sebastian Stirling, and Marcus Kingsley, a young army general who has his own reasons for wanting to lift the veil between this world and the next. Wagers are placed, friends are lost, romance stages an ambush, and time is running out for the girl with the clockwork heart.