Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Thus CHACHA CHAUDHARY was born in 1971. Tall and robust SABU, who is an inhabitant of planet Jupiter, gave Chaudhary an ideal company. A combination of wisdom and strength was formed to tackle any difficult task. It is said that " Chacha Chaudhary's brain works faster than a computer". Though both fight the criminals and tricksters, each episode ends with a touch of humour. The duo perform in lighter vein. The CHAUDHARY family consists of his wife Bini, a fat sharp tongue woman, Sabu, Rocket - the dog and Dag- Dag, an old truck who is half human- half machine. Chacha Chaudhary is the most popular Indian comics. More than 10 million readers enjoy this series regularly in newspapers and comic books in ten languages. A T.V. serial based on the comics has crossed 500 episodes and still continue to be telecast on premier channel "Sahara ONE".

    Robin Cook's signature cutting-edge suspense and bold strokes of reality. The consequences of managed health care in an age when even the wariest consumer may be at risk is the catalyst for Contagion, while a sinister cabal involved with unacceptable medical ethics provides the nerve-jangling backdrop for Chromosome 6. Invasion, published in hardcover for the first time, preys on our deepest fears as it explores a sudden outbreak of a disease unlike anything humankind has ever seen.

    Her brother is missing. One retired assassin must confront her past to save his future… Immortal Kat Dubois has traded in her sword for a flask. Hard drinking helps ease the grisly memories of her former trade: an assassin of immortals. She’s perfectly content to spend eternity in her Seattle tattoo parlor…until the mysterious disappearance of her brother finally brings her out of retirement. With a charmed deck of tarot cards and her trusty sword, Kat sets off to track down her brother and save his soul. A wicked corporation and a laundry list of old rivals stand in the way of her quest. For someone with an eternity to live, Kat's chances of unraveling the mystery become less likely with each passing second… The Kat Dubois Chronicles is a tough-girl urban fantasy series set in Seattle, WA. If you like intense action, gritty characters, unconventional magic, and Egyptian mythology, then you'll love this unique, fast-paced adventure. Perfect for fans of Kim Harrison, Karen Marie Moning, and Nalini Singh! This collection includes 350,000 words of mythology, action, and supernatural suspense: Ink Witch Outcast Underground Soul Eater Judgement Afterlife Also written in the Echo World: The Echo Trilogy Collection: The Complete Series What readers are saying: "I love, love, love, LOVE THIS SERIES!!!" "I love stories where the female is anything but a damsel in distress! She kicks butt and takes no excuses from those whose butts are being kicked!" "Loved the Puget Sound setting! Also loved the wonderful use of mythology!" "If you want a great escape from reality for awhile, I highly recommend this series." "So beyond amazing!! MUST READ!!"

    It's Wolverine!

    Following in the wake of the hugely successful The Darkness video game and summer 2007's smash hit, First Born, The Darkness returns in a brand-new ongoing series by Phil Hester (Green Arrow) and Michael Broussard (Unholy Union). This volume collects Hester and Broussard's first arc on the series, "Empire."

    Put your feet up and enjoy the laziest witch in Britain and her snarky, talkative cat!Ivy Wilde is not a hero. She doesn't want to be a hero. She wants to live a quiet, stress-free life that involves as little work as possible. If her innate magic can help her achieve that, then it's all to the good. Alas, you don't always get what you wish for.Slouch WitchWhen a bureaucratic disaster ends up with Ivy as the victim of a case of mistaken identity, she's yanked very unwillingly into Arcane Branch, the investigative department of the Hallowed Order of Magical Enlightenment. Her problems are quadrupled when a valuable object is stolen right from under the Order's noses.It doesn't exactly help that she's been magically bound to Adeptus Exemptus Raphael Winter. He might have piercing sapphire eyes and a body which a cover model would be proud of but, as far as Ivy's concerned, he's a walking advertisement for the joyless perils of too much witch-work.And if he makes her go to the gym again, she's definitely going to turn him into a frog.Star WitchWhen sapphire eyed Rafael Winter comes knocking at Ivy's door because he needs her to spy on the latest reality television series of Enchantment, she jumps at the chance. Hanging around a film set can't be hard ... or dangerous ... right?Spirit WitchIvy is flung once more into a world of intrigue, adventure and potential death and disaster. It's not her fault - it just so turns out that she's now the only person in the entire world who can communicate with the dead. And they're a chatty bunch with a list of demands.Sparkle Witch Christmas novellaYou would think December would be Ivy's ideal time of year. After all, festivities abound and witches everywhere are encouraged to put their feet up and relax. That's not quite the case when she has various Order members attempting to finagle her into Christmas activities - and a special artefact from the top of the Christmas tree goes missing.

    R U N...For fans of Stephen King, Dean Koontz, and Thomas Harris, picture this: a landscape of American genocide...5 D A Y S A G OA rash of bizarre murders swept the country…Senseless. Brutal. Seemingly unconnected. A cop walked into a nursing home and unloaded his weapons on elderly and staff alike. A mass of school shootings. Prison riots of unprecedented brutality. Mind-boggling acts of violence in every state.4 D A Y S A G OThe murders increased ten-fold…3 D A Y S A G OThe President addressed the nation and begged for calm and peace…2 D A Y S A G OThe killers began to mobilize…Y E S T E R D A YAll the power went out…T O N I G H TThey’re reading the names of those to be killed on the Emergency Broadcast System. You are listening over the battery-powered radio on your kitchen table, and they’ve just read yours.Your name is Jack Colclough. You have a wife, a daughter, and a young son. You live in Albuquerque, New Mexico. People are coming to your house to kill you and your family. You don’t know why, but you don’t have time to think about that any more. You only have time to….R U N2. S N O W B O U N D...For Will Innis and his daughter, Devlin, the loss was catastrophic. Every day for the past five years, they wonder where she is, if she is—Will’s wife, Devlin’s mother—because Rachael Innis vanished one night during an electrical storm on a lonely desert highway, and suspected of her death, Will took his daughter and fled. Now, Will and Devlin live under different names in another town, having carved out a new life for themselves as they struggle to maintain some semblance of a family. When one night, a beautiful, hard-edged FBI agent appears on their doorstep, they fear the worst, but she hasn’t come to arrest Will. “I know you’re innocent,” she tells him, “because Rachael wasn’t the first…or the last.” Desperate for answers, Will and Devlin embark on a terrifying journey that spans four thousand miles from the desert southwest to the wilds of Alaska, heading unaware into the heart of a nightmare, because the truth is infinitely worse than they ever imagined.3. A B A N D O N...On Christmas Day in 1893, every man, woman and child in a remote gold mining town disappeared, belongings forsaken, meals left to freeze in vacant cabins; and not a single bone was ever found. One hundred thirteen years later, two backcountry guides are hired by a history professor and his journalist daughter to lead them into the abandoned mining town so that they can learn what happened. With them is a psychic, and a paranormal photographer—as the town is rumored to be haunted. A party that tried to explore the town years ago was never heard from again. What this crew is about to discover is that twenty miles from civilization, with a blizzard bearing down, they are not alone, and the past is very much alive.ABOUT THE AUTHORBlake Crouch is the author of over a dozen bestselling suspense, mystery, and horror novels. His short fiction has appeared in numerous short story anthologies, Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, Cemetery Dance, and many other publications. Much of his work, including the Wayward Pines series, has been optioned for TV and film. Blake lives in Colorado.

    A thief, a candlemaker, an ex-mercenary, and a pig farmer walk into a trap…and what happens to them is no joke. When Riyria is hired to retrieve a jester’s treasure, Royce and Hadrian must match wits with a dwarf who proves to be anything but a fool. Difficult choices will need to be made, and in the end those who laugh last do so because they are the only ones to survive.This is a graphic novel, based on Sullivan's short story The Jester, and featuring the two charming rogues who are the main characters of both of his Riyria series, No prior knowledge of The Riyria Revelations or The Riyria Chronicles is required to enjoy it to its fullest, making this a perfect introduction for new readers or a chance for Riyria veterans to spend a little more time with old friends. The Jester is a story of adventure, bonds of friendship, and a recognition that the choices we make dictates the future we find.

    Having turned over a new leaf, Venom decides to become a protector of the weak and forgotten. But can this lethal protector truly become a hero?

    Once, Timothy Hunter was just an ordinary 13-year-old boy living in suburban London. Then four legendary sorcerers took him on a journey beyond time and space, and his life changed forever. Traveling through realms long consigned to myth and legend, he also discovered an unsettling truth about his future: like it or not, fate has decreed that young Tim is destined to become the world’s greatest magician! Unfortunately for him, this innocence smells intoxicatingly like weakness to the hungry predators that haunt the shadows of existence, and the extraordinary power they sense within his frail human form is too enticing to resist. Written by John Ney Rieber and illustrated by Peter Gross, Gary Amaro and Peter Snejbjerg, THE BOOKS OF MAGIC BOOK ONE collects issues #1-13 of the classic VERTIGO series as well as the pivotal introductory tale from ARCANA ANNUAL #1.Collecting: Books of Magic 1-13 & Arcana: Books of Magic Annual