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Archie: Love Showdown - Chapter 1
Dan Parent - 2012
When Betty and Veronica catch wind of the mash note, each believes the other one sent it, and all-out war is declared to determine who will win Archie's heart once and for all!
A Crazy Ghetto Love Story
Linette King - 2016
They did everything together being that they were just 4 years apart. Wayne is the oldest but Vanessa was the leader. Together they would cause mischief and mayhem throughout the neighborhood. See they both knew right from wrong and Wayne never wanted to do anything but Vanessa had a way of changing his mind. She had him wrapped around her pinky finger in a way only a baby sister could. The only person who could control Vanessa was her mother Karen. Sadly she died from breast cancer when Vanessa was only 8 years old. After the death of her mother, there was nothing anyone could say or do to stop her from doing exactly what she wanted to do. Michael, the kids father and a policeman was so heartbroken over his wife’s death that he pretty much let the 2 of them get away with murder, literally. Across town Chris Butler had no life of luxury. Not knowing who neither his father nor mother was left Chris in a cold world alone going from foster home to foster home. He ran away from each home until he was 13 years old. This is when he linked up with James, Frankie, Steve and Phatty G. They lived in a CO ED group home until Steve turned 18 and was able to get an apartment in his name. Together they robbed drug dealers who didn’t live near them to survive. Chris being the youngest was often caught by the police and sent back to another home where he would eventually escape from. Chris didn’t trust anyone but his brothers and sister, Frankie. Although none of them were actually related, blood couldn’t make them any closer. They would each take a bullet and die for the other.
Her Addiction (Her Addiction Series Book 1)
Mia Black - 2016
The former NBA star is living the dream, with lucrative investments, and a curvaceous girlfriend. For him, life is sublime. But soon, life is going to take a twisted and dangerous turn.Love will make you do crazy things, but how far is Amani willing to go to keep the one man she can’t resist? Find out in part one of Her Addiction!
Why Me? The Very Important Emails of Bob Servant
Neil Forsyth - 2011
The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.
Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats: A new collection of irreverence.
David Thorne - 2018
Featuring all new, never before published material, Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats is the latest release by David Thorne, author of The Internet is a Playground and 27bslash6.com
The Ricky Gervais Guide to...SOCIETY
Ricky Gervais - 2009
Join Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington as they probe the nature of human society.In this episode: Athenian democracy and arboreal investments; Karl on road safety; President Pilkington's pronouncements; Malthusian musings; Karl's adoption agency; the ins and outs of organ donation; social injustice on the busses; morality and entomology; Karl's Luddite attitude to plate sanitation; euthanized ensifera; social orthodoxy at the orthodontist's; and splenetic etiquette.
OMG: How I created the Universe, Adam, and Steve
David Javerbaum - 2011
In the meantime, enjoy this freebie from God: OMG: How I Created the Universe, Adam, and Steve, which contains the first five chapters on the Creation of Adam and Steve (you read correctly) excerpted from The Last Testament.
Girls are Weirdos but They Smell Pretty
Todd Harris Goldman - 2007
Because even though it sounds like you're calling your friend a weirdo, this book is in fact a wonderfully astute and affectionate look at the female psyche, and perfect for any girl with a sense of humor (and a desire to know what boys think of girls). With his unique Homer-Simpson-channeled-through-Jessica-Simpson sensibility, Todd Harris Goldman—that Todd Harris Goldman, the funny, crude, un-PC, very savvy author of Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!—explains why boys think the opposite sex is weird. Narrated by a boy who's sort of a moron, it questions all the things that are completely alien to boys, but with a surprisingly sweet insight and great good spirit. Waxing vs. shaving. The color pink. Shoe obsessions. The everyday dilemma: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The appeal of tiny little dogs. Fake boobs. The mysteries of PMS. In the end he can only conclude that girls are weirdos and leave it at that—a conclusion that girls will not only understand but own up to proudly.
A Million Little Lies
James Pinocchio - 2006
While there, Mr. Pinocchio meets all sorts of Fascinating Characters, one more Unbelievable and Amazing than the next, and they challenge him to confront his Deepest, Darkest Fears. The experience leads Mr. Pinocchio to the very edges of despair, but at a critical juncture he finds hope in the arms of a Bad Woman.The love affair ends tragically, alas, and, like many parts of Mr. Pinocchio's story, stretches credibility to the breaking point, but the harrowing adventure -- which involves a great deal of pain, a smattering of dirty sex, and endless amounts of girlish crying -- eventually leads to Redemption and Healing. But not for Mr. Pinocchio
Hometown Weekly
Bruce Lindsay - 2008
After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.
The Pornographer Diaries
Danny King - 2004
He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.
Gary's Children (Shingles Book 2)
Rick Gualtieri - 2018
Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.
Who Stole My Spandex?: Life in the Hot Flash Lane
Marcia Kester Doyle - 2016
Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.