To say the least. She calls Sweet Meadow, Georgia, home, where she works for her father doing auto repairs. She also drives the tow-truck, although Sweet Meadow's rather colorful denizens tend to treat Bertie more like the local, free taxi service. You know, someone has to get to a doctor's appointment or pick something up at the dry cleaners. Bertie's favorite day of the week is Friday, when she leaves the wrecker with her father for the whole weekend and joins her friends at the Dew Drop Inn for a night of dancing. Her best friend, Mary Lou, sometimes fixes her up with dubious dates, although Bertie has to remind her friend not to tease her hair too high for those occasions. Like the time when they went to Carrie Sue's open house, and a ceramic cow with angel wings hanging from a ceiling fan locked its hooves into Bertie's big hair and refused to let go. She had to wear it all night, dangling chain and all. Bertie's nearly perfect life is about to take a downhill turn, however. It starts when her landlord, Pete, currently a resident in a nearby nursing home, starts showing up at her house. In his birthday suit. A very badly wrinkled birthday suit. And then she goes to her mailbox, a rubber large mouth bass, and finds a notice from the zoning commission saying she can no longer park the wrecker in her driveway. The notice is signed by George Bigham. But when she goes to the courthouse to take care of her little problem, it is only to discover George Bigham is deceased. And Mary Lou's pregnancy test just came up positive. Can it get any worse? In a word... yes.

    When a T-Mex threatens the pack, it's El Skippito, the great sword fighter, to the rescue. With yips and yowls, he drives the big baddie away, so all the dino-dudes can rattle their bones another day. This fourth entry in a series that "Kirkus Reviews" called ?ay caramba, mucho fun, ? will win even more fans for the Siamese cat with oversize ears and an imagination to match.

    Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean jokes about dogs and puppies. ** Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE! ** Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with this funny dog joke book. Beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home.Special Note: The illustrations in the book are optimized for a vivid and colorful experience in e-readers, tablets, phones, and computers! Jokes from this funny book... Q: Where do you usually find lost dogs?A: It all depends on where you lose them! HAHA! Q: What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?A: A bud hound! LOL! Q: What do you call a happy Lassie?A: A jolly collie! HAHA! Q: What kind of dog is a human's best friend?A: Palmation! LOL! Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the front yard?A: Put him in the back yard! HAHA! Q: Why did the dog run in circles?A: Because it is not that easy to run in squares! Funny Dog Jokes for Kids! The Funniest Dog Jokes for in the World! (Clean Jokes for Children) 100+ funny dog and puppy jokes Excellent for early and beginning readers Hours of fun and entertainment for your child Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud This funny joke book is full of funny dog and puppy jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about dogs and puppies will have you laughing for hours. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Scroll up and click 'buy' to get your paws on this funny joke book! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny dog jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, dogs, dog book, dog jokes book, ebook, dog books, funny, dog jokes, ebooks, dog jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, puppy books, puppies, cute, illustrations, illustrated, books for kids, childrens book, pupppy, puppy ebook, funny, haha, funny dog jokes, joke book, funny book, joke books, hilarious, lol, funny joke book, book about dogs, kindle book, kindle ebook, jokes online, comedy, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, children, child, kid, kids, kids book, laughter, funniest jokes, laughing, kids comedy

    He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.

    As mummy to 7-year old Ella, surrogate to far too many pets and with a failed marriage under her belt, Mavis knows she needs to make some life-changing decisions. It's time to strike out into the world, to stand on her own two feet … to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a Police Officer. I mean, what could go wrong? Supported by her quirky, malapropism-suffering mum, Mavis throws herself headlong into a world of uncertainty, self-discovery, fearless escapades, laughter and extra-large knickers. And using her newly discovered investigative skills, she reluctantly embarks on a search to find her errant dad who was last seen years before, making off with her mum's much needed coupon for a fabulous foam cup bra all the way from America.Follow Mavis as she tackles everything life can throw at her, and revel in Gina Kirkham's humorous, poignant and moving story of an everyday girl who one day followed a dream.

    Little Oink is a neat little fellow. Clean, clean, clean, that's all he wants to do. But Mama and Papa won't have it! They say in order to be a proper pig, he has to learn to make a proper mess. "Don't come out until your room is a pigsty," says Papa Pig. "I won't have any child of mine going out looking so neat and clean. It's just not acceptable," says Mama Pig. Readers who hate to clean up will love this humorous twist on a universal dilemma.

    Sure, he’s always been a little bit different—his tusk isn’t as long, he’s not as good of a swimmer, and he really doesn’t enjoy the cuisine. Then one night, an extra strong current sweeps Kelp to the surface, where he spots a mysterious creature that looks just like him! Kelp discovers that he and the creature are actually unicorns. The revelation leaves him torn: is he a land narwhal or a sea unicorn? But perhaps, if Kelp is clever, he may find a way to have the best of both worlds.

    A very fussy eater. She won't eat her carrots (until her brother Charlie reveals that they're orange twiglets from Jupiter). She won't eat her mashed potatoes (until Charlie explains that they're cloud fluff from the pointiest peak of Mount Fuji). There are many things Lola won't eat, including - and especially - tomatoes. Or will she? Two endearing siblings star in a witty story about the triumph of imagination over proclivity.

    When the baby dinosaur hatches out, he's so out of place that his grisly big sisters call him Tyrannosaurus Drip.

    His stable is a matchbox with a tic-tac box conservatory and with a cocktail stick, some cotton and a hawthorn berry, Tim can play swingball.

    Imogene, the cook, and the kitchen maid, however, make the best of things, finding unusual uses for Imogene's new horns. Meanwhile, the problem appears to be solved when Imogene awakes the next morning antler-free. But the family (and the reader) are in for a surprise when Imogene comes down to breakfast.

    And isn’t that everyone? This is a self-published success story from debut authors Justin Lowe and Kevin Diller. Octicorn is half octopus, half unicorn, half confused . . . which sometimes makes it hard to fit in.But maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

    And while it's not OK for someone else to make yo-momma jokes about your momma, it is perfectly healthy — even downright hilarious — to find the humor in your own upbringing. In fact, these writers highly recommend it. So if you think your mom is nuts, pull up a chair. You're in good company.

    For each craves a change in her life: Devera desires a break from her humdrum marital routine; BiDi longs to reconnect with her distant fourteen-year-old daughter (the only girl on the high school hockey team), not to mention jump-start a sex drive stuck in neutral. So when Devera’s husband decides to fulfill his longtime dream of opening a nightclub in his basement, Your Oasis on Flame Lake arrives not a moment too soon. Nothing fancy, it’s just a BYOB joint where you can hang out, sing, dance, tell jokes, and be yourself. But then an unexpected crisis throws both families into chaos, forcing them all to take stock of their lives—and learn the power of forgiveness.

    Stein, Mad Scientist series!Franny K. Stein is not your average girl—she’s a mad scientist. She prefers poison ivy to daisies and piranha to goldfish, and when Franny jumps rope, she uses her pet snake. Being a mad scientist is exciting, but it does have its drawbacks. From fending off giant monstrous fiends to getting a lab assistant to battling her own teenage self, Franny has her hands full! Join her on her first four wacky, weird, creepy adventures and find out why Franny is everyone’s favorite mad scientist. This collection includes: Lunch Walks Among Us Attack of the 50-Ft. Cupid The Invisible Fran The Fran That Time Forgot