You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

    

    Bluff Farmer Giles lives in a land-of-fable England, full of giants and dragons. A reluctant hero like the Brave Little Tailor or Bilbo in The Hobbit, Giles wins a great reputation by firing his blunderbuss at a wandering giant--who retreats not in fear but to avoid this tiresome stinging "insect". One thing leads to another, and despite all his excuses the now famous Giles is called to save his country from the marauding dragon Chrysophylax. He has a legendary anti-dragon sword and a lot of luck, but dragons can be as devious as politicians... Tolkien crammed much sly wit into his little story, plus jokey philological explanations that Giles's amazing adventures are commemorated in Thames Valley placenames like Worminghall and Thame. It's illustrated with nearly 50 line drawings by Paula Baynes: Tolkien loved these, but some look sadly faded here, like fourth-generation photocopies. As a bonus, the anniversary edition includes an introduction telling the story's history, a transcription of the original, unfinished draft, and 23 pages of notes on allusions and names (Chrysophylax means "keeper of gold", which is indeed what dragons do). A pleasant gift book. --David Langford

    The last thing Alena Kornov wants to do is to go on the date with him. But when her family pressures her, she can’t say no. Now the ice-cream is absent, the pig is running for its life, and we won’t even mention the dead guy…

    “My risk-assessment module predicts a 53 percent chance of a human-on-human massacre before the end of the contract.”A short story published in Wired.com magazine as part of a series "The Future of Work" on December 17, 2018.

    Where scientists and schoolgirls, fair folk and Romans, intergalactic bandits, utopian revolutionaries, and intrepid orphans solve crimes, escape from monstrous predicaments, consult oracles, and hover over volcanoes in steam-powered airships. In Steampunk!, fourteen masters of speculative fiction, including two graphic storytellers, embrace the genre's established themes and refashion them in surprising ways and settings as diverse as Appalachia, Ancient Rome, future Australia, Canada's Muddy York Toronto, and alternate California. Get a preview of the anthology by sampling one of these inventive tales for free - Cory Doctorow's "Clockwork Fagin," in which orphans use the puppet of a dead man to take control of their lives.

    A fairytale with seven league boots, a princess, an enchantment, and the Countess Belvane. As Milne wrote in a later introduction: "But, as you see, I am still finding it difficult to explain just what sort of book it is. Perhaps no explanation is necessary. Read in it what you like; read it to whomever you like; be of what age you like; it can only fall into one of the two classes. Either you will enjoy it, or you won't. It is that sort of book."

    It will probably be there on the last day of the cosmos. This is the Psychoshop, where you can dump any unwanted aspect of your spirit as long as you exchange it for something else -- arcane knowledge, a change of luck, or a sixth sense. Just remember: All sales are final.Half finished upon Bester's death, and completed by Zelazny, Psychoshop envisions a commercial establishment that attracts customers from Edgar Allan Poe to a sorcerer intent on fabricating the Beast of Revelations. Brimming with wit and imagination, scandalously sexy and fabulously strange, Psychoshop is science fiction as you've never read it before.

    Seuss's classic treatise on the importance of a balanced life with our Anniversary Edition featuring cover art from the book's original publication! A Seussian spin on a conventional fairy tale, The King's Stilts is as topical today as when it was first published in 1939. It's the story of a devoted king who works hard and plays hard—and whose entire kingdom is threatened when his beloved stilts are stolen and he is too distraught to do his job.Written in prose instead of rhyme (unlike Seuss's later works), The King's Stilts nevertheless addresses subjects that we know Dr. Seuss was passionate about throughout his life: duty (as in Horton Hears a Who and Horton Hatches the Egg); the abuse of power (as in The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins and Yertle the Turtle); deceit (as in The Bippolo Seed and How the Grinch Stole Christmas)—and even cats (as in The Cat in the Hat and I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today)! A perfect way to introduce new readers to an old classic, or to reward existing fans with a collectible new edition. Follow the Good Doctor's advice: After a hard day of work, have fun with a great book like The King's Stilts!

    In other words, perfect." - The Huffington PostAn amusing and captivating tale that's a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable: If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud, illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life.From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents hilariously entertaining stories about life and existential predicaments.The simple yet effective imagery, the personification of inanimate objects, and short, hilarious quips come together to create an amusing adventure through each character's unique grievance and wide-eyed dilemmas.Written by Avery Monsen, an actor, artist, and writer and Jory John, a writer, editor, and journalist. They are friends, and neither is dead. Yet.All My Friends Are Dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read.Children's book written for adults Displayed in an accessible cartoon form

    Contents: 1 • In a Season of Calm Weather • (1957) • short story by Ray Bradbury 7 • A Medicine for Melancholy • (1959) • short story by Ray Bradbury 16 • The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit • non-genre • (1958) • short story by Ray Bradbury 39 • Fever Dream • (1948) • short story by Ray Bradbury 46 • The Marriage Mender • (1954) • short story by Ray Bradbury 51 • The Town Where No One Got Off • (1958) • short story by Ray Bradbury 59 • A Scent of Sarsaparilla • (1953) • short story by Ray Bradbury 66 • The Headpiece • (1958) • short story by Ray Bradbury 74 • The First Night of Lent • [The Irish Stories] • (1956) • short story by Ray Bradbury 81 • The Time of Going Away • (1956) • short story by Ray Bradbury 88 • All Summer in a Day • (1954) • short story by Ray Bradbury 94 • The Gift • (1952) • short story by Ray Bradbury 97 • The Great Collision of Monday Last • [The Irish Stories] • (1958) • short story by Ray Bradbury 104 • The Little Mice • (1955) • short story by Ray Bradbury 109 • The Shore Line at Sunset • (1959) • short story by Ray Bradbury (variant of The Shoreline at Sunset) 118 • The Day It Rained Forever • (1957) • short story by Ray Bradbury 129 • Chrysalis • (1946) • short story by Ray Bradbury 150 • Pillar of Fire • (1948) • novelette by Ray Bradbury 188 • Zero Hour • (1947) • short story by Ray Bradbury 198 • The Man • (1949) • short story by Ray Bradbury 210 • Time in Thy Flight • (1953) • short story by Ray Bradbury 215 • The Pedestrian • (1951) • short story by Ray Bradbury 220 • Hail and Farewell • (1953) • short story by Ray Bradbury 228 • Invisible Boy • (1945) • short story by Ray Bradbury 237 • Come Into My Cellar • (1962) • short story by Ray Bradbury (variant of Boys! Raise Giant Mushrooms in Your Cellar!) 254 • The Million-Year Picnic • [The Martian Chronicles] • (1946) • short story by Ray Bradbury (variant of The Million Year Picnic) 264 • The Screaming Woman • [Green Town] • (1951) • short story by Ray Bradbury 278 • The Smile • (1952) • short story by Ray Bradbury 284 • Dark They Were, and Golden-Eyed • (1949) • short story by Ray Bradbury 299 • The Trolley • [Dandelion Wine] • (1955) • short story by Ray Bradbury 303 • Icarus Montgolfier Wright • (1956) • short story by Ray Bradbury

    It tells of Keevan, a boy who is a candidate for Ramoth's latest clutch in Benden Weyr. Keevan is shorter than the other candidates, and is teased about this by Beterli, a boy who has stood for eight Impressions and has not been chosen. Keevan works hard but his size leads most to underestimate his abilities. When he overhears some of the senior dragonriders talking about dropping some of the younger candidates from the Impression, Keevan automatically thinks he will be dropped.Was included in Get off The Unicorn collection.

    K. Rowling, and was published online on June 11th, 2008. Set three years before the birth of Harry Potter, the story recounts an adventure had by Sirius Black and James Potter.J.K. Rowling announced on May 28, 2008 that she was writing a prequel story for English PEN, the writers' association, and the Dyslexia Society. The story, handwritten on a card, would then be auctioned off alongside similar cards from other authors on June 11th, 2008, with the proceeds going to charity. A book of facsimiles was published in August 2008, allowing fans to own and read the story. The story can be found online.

    Smart, dedicated, gorgeous, and, thanks to her last movie before she hung up on Hollywood, rich, she's a pleasure to oblige when she says Rob has to witness this channeler Ariaura's act--on her, not the Eye's, nickel--despite channelers being so last year. It's quite a show, all right, for in the midst of Ariaura's particular ancient wise guy's basso spiel, a gravelly baritone interrupts (both voices emanate from the channeler's female mouth) to berate the audience as "yaps" and the act as "claptrap." Why is Ariaura undermining herself? Or is she? After all, she angrily accuses Rob and Kildy of scheming to destroy her. Could the baritone belong to a genuine channeled spirit? Willis, one of sf's most spirited writers, rounds on the New Age; pays tribute to a great, skeptical journalist; and affectionately parodies pulp fiction at its best in this irresistible entertainment.

    [A Beowulf Shaeffer Story] A human spaceship pilot accepts an offer to guide a cramped (but very fast) experimental alien ship to the center of the galaxy on a promotional stunt--but what he finds at the core is much more important than just publicity.