Potty, Fartwell and Knob


Russell Ash - 2007
    It features an incredible and diverse range of totally genuine names, evoking everything from body parts (Dick Brain), sex (Matilda Suckcock), illness (Barbaray Headache) and toilet functions (Peter Piddle) to food (Hazel Nutt), animals (Minty Badger) and places (Phila Delphia). Every single one has been checked for authenticity and its source is given, as well as extra notes where further fascinating illumination is possible. The book provides a rigorously researched yet laugh-out-loud overview of Britain's eccentricity through the ages.

A Christmas Story


Jean Shepherd - 1983
    Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”?The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.From the Hardcover edition.

When Santa Was a Baby


Linda Bailey - 2015
    and has an unusual interest in chimneys. The adorably funny portrait of an oddball kid who fulfills his destiny - and two very proud parents.

Letters from Father Christmas


J.R.R. Tolkien - 1976
    Tolkien received letters from the North Pole - from Father Christmas himself! They told wonderful stories of mischief and disaster, adventures, and battles: how the reindeer got loose and scattered presents all over the place, how the accident-prone Polar Bear climbed the North Pole and fell through the roof of Father Christmas's house, and many others.Now, for the first time, these letters are brought to life with specially arranged holiday music.REVIEW:"Tolkien at his relaxed and ingenious best." The Times of LondonABOUT THE AUTHOR:J.R.R. TOLKIEN (1892-1973) is the creator of Middle-earth and author of such classic extraordinary works of fiction as 'The Hobbit', 'The Lord of the Rings', and 'The Silmarillion.' His books have been translated into more than fifty languages and have sold many millions of copies worldwide.©1997, 2004 (P)1997 Harper Collins UK

The 13 Clocks


James Thurber - 1950
    It is beautiful and it is comic. It is philosophical and it is cheery. What we suppose we are trying fumblingly to say is, in a word, that it is Thurber.There are only a few reasons why everybody has always wanted to read this kind of story: if you have always wanted to love a Princess; if you always wanted to be a Prince; if you always wanted the wicked Duke to be punished; or if you always wanted to live happily ever after. Too little of this kind of thing is going on in the world today. But all of it is going on valorously in The 13 Clocks.

Death and Thraxas


Martin Scott - 2004
    Overweight and somewhat uncouth, Thraxas may not look like a man of action, (and he'd rather pass on the action, thank you, and order another beer), but if you're in trouble in Turai this portly private eye is probably your only hope. Not that Thraxas himself has much hope in the first of the two complete novels in this volume-A judge has fined him almost every guran he has, two old enemies have threatened his life, and his old commander in the army, after promising a solution to Thraxas' problems, has just turned up dead. Naturally, Thraxas is the prime suspect . . . . In his second case, Thraxas has received a message from an old friend in trouble in the Elvish Isles, and since the elves have no experience in investigating, Thraxas is hired to do the legwork. Naturally, as soon as he arrives in the Isles, things start getting weird. But when the going gets weird, Thraxas gets going. . . .

Peter and the Frankenstein


Darren Pillsbury - 2011
    Rowling (the HARRY POTTER series), Darren Shan (CIRQUE DU FREAK), R.L. Stine (the GOOSEBUMPS series), and Stephen King (IT)! Volume Three in the PETER AND THE MONSTERS series! Follow the adventures started in PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume One) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume Two)!Tragedy has struck Peter’s best friend Dill. In his effort to help, Grandfather might have actually made things worse. But help is on the way in the form of a new ally, and important information surfaces that might explain the Curse now haunting Peter and his family. In this volume, Peter battles more supernatural mayhem, including:A scientist who pieces together a family of monstrous creations…A pack of small creatures that kill the local baker, and plan to make Peter their next victim…Peter’s own dark side, which rears its ugly head in a violent rampage…A mysterious ‘snow demon’ out of Native American legend that menaces Peter on a ski trip…And a couple of ‘walking dead’ who try to put Peter in the morgue during a visit to the hospital. The PETER AND THE VAMPIRES series is for teens and adults who, when they were kids, were looking for stories that kicked butt. The protagonist might be young, but the stories are dark, funny, and edge-of-your-seat suspenseful.PETER AND THE FRANKENSTEIN is the third in an ongoing series that includes PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume 1) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume 2). This book is 150,000 words (450+ pages) and contains some mild language, violence, and scary situations.

The Fat Man: A Tale of North Pole Noir


Ken Harmon - 2010
     A hardboiled elf is framed for murder in a North Pole world that plays reindeer games for keeps, and where favorite holiday characters live complex lives beyond December. Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three inch 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney. Either way, North Pole disillusionment is nothing new: Some elves brood with a bottle of nog, trying to forget their own wish list. Some get better. Some get bitter. Gumdrop Coal wants revenge. Justice is the only thing he knows, and so he decides to give a serious wakeup call to parents who can't keep their vile offspring from landing on the Naughty List. But when one parent winds up dead, his eye shot out with a Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model BB gun, Gumdrop Coal must learn who framed him and why. Along the way he'll escape the life-sucking plants of the Mistletoe Forrest, battle the infamous Tannenbomb Giant, and survive a close encounter with twelve very angry drummers and their violent friends. The horrible truth lurking behind the gingerbread doors of Kringle Town could spell the end of Christmas-and of the fat man himself. Holly Jolly!

The Obsidian Chronicles, Book One: Ender Rain (The Unofficial Minecraft Adventure Short Stories)


Mark Mulle - 2014
    When his friend, Austin, a crafter, joins him for the first time in search of the vast amounts of ore and treasure in the Underground, a climactic series of events is set into motion. There is something below the Underground though, and Austin is sure that the world’s strongest materials are there for the taking. But so too are some of the world’s most dangerous creatures, legendary items, and magical secrets. Cave-ins, explosive detonations, massive spiders, and the undead—these are all common problems for Vincent and his team of miners and crafters. Join them as they strategically battle new threats, enchant their gear with new power, and explore caves flowing with lava and teeming with darkness incarnate. Author's Note: This short story is for your reading pleasure. The characters in this "Minecraft Adventure Series" such as Steve, Endermen, Herobrine or Obsidian...etc are based on the Minecraft Game. Minecraft Adventure Series *Book 2* http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K7ZT7WA/ *Book 3* http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K804RL0/

Diary of a Stressed Out Mother: ‘Bedlam’


Nicola Kelsall - 2015
     Bedlam, is the first of four books in the hysterically funny series, “Diary of a Stressed Out Mother”. Dora Loveday (harassed mother of four kids, two unruly dogs, and a psychotic cat), records the daily chaos and madness of her family life in this laugh-out-loud, comic romp of a diary!

The Early Years


Jamie Thomson - 2011
    It is not for the faint of heart or for the whining masses. It is for those willing to serve as my devoted minions while I plan my greatest feat yet: surviving life as a human boy and returning to my rightful place as the ruler of the Dark Lands. Before I can exact my revenge, I must infiltrate this world and learn its ways.How, you might ask, is it possible that I, the Dark Lord, the Master of the Legions of Dread and Sorcerer Supreme, could be reduced to human form? And how is it possible that the Lord of darkness could be forced to attend school and befriend such pitiful life forms?Only by reading my tale will you learn the truth behind the cataclysmic defeat that left me stranded on this accursed planet, Earth. But make no mistake, revenge will be mine... as soon as I finish my homework. Mwah, hah, ha!Yours insincerely,Dirk Lloyd(aka the Dark Lord)

How to Train Your Dragon


Cressida Cowell - 2003
    Can Hiccup do it without being torn limb from limb?Join his adventures and misadventures as he finds a new way to train dragons--and becomes a hero. This action-packed, hilarious, and perfectly illustrated novel is a modern classic beloved by millions across the globe.

The Twelve Terrors of Christmas


John Updike - 1994
    This long out-of-print classic is the perfect stocking-stuffer for any bah humbug.

The Virgin Mary's Got Nits: A Christmas Anthology


Gervase Phinn - 2014
    A hilarious and touching gift book anthology of poetry and prose on the subject of Christmas from the Yorkshire school inspector and bestselling author of the Dales series and Little Village School series.

CHACHA CHAUDHARY DIGEST 2: CHACHA CHAUDHARY


Pran Kumar Sharma - 2015
    Thus CHACHA CHAUDHARY was born in 1971.Tall and robust SABU, who is an inhabitant of planet Jupiter, gave Chaudhary an ideal company. A combination of wisdom and strength was formed to tackle any difficult task. It is said that " Chacha Chaudhary's brain works faster than a computer". Though both fight the criminals and tricksters, each episode ends with a touch of humour. The duo perform in lighter vein. The CHAUDHARY family consists of his wife Bini, a fat sharp tongue woman, Sabu, Rocket - the dog and Dag- Dag, an old truck who is half human- half machine. Chacha Chaudhary is the most popular Indian comics. More than 10 million readers enjoy this series regularly in newspapers and comic books in ten languages. A T.V. serial based on the comics has crossed 500 episodes and still continue to be telecast on premier channel "Sahara ONE".