We have your favourite table ready and waiting and a selection of tasty and unusual dishes for your delectation and delight (but do bear in mind that the kitchen closes shortly as the Chef needs to go to his second job, rodding out blocked sewers). We have a few choice 'nostalgedy' stories for Starters, some meatier ones for your Mains, a selection of 'curmudgeonly rants' or keen observations (you take your choice) for Dessert, and something unspeakable to go with your Coffee and Mints.Philip Whiteland tickles your fancy (it's not a crime yet) once again with this compilation of stories, often with a food-based theme, from today and yesterday. Pull up a chair and tuck in!

    Clark Kent was a geek. Spiderman saved lives. Peter Parker sold photographs to his local paper. Chris Moyles entertains 8 million people each week on BBC Radio 1. Then he goes home and plays Xbox on his sofa, wearing only his underpants. Welcome to the real world of Chris Moyles. This audiobook tries to get to the bottom of the double life of this award-winning broadcaster and hapless human being. You'll find out just what he thinks of his radio show guests—some of the most famous people in the country. You'll hear about his showbiz nights out and celebrity neighbourhood. You'll also learn why he is obsessive about washing up; why he lies to the pizza delivery man; and generally what it's like being a part-time famous person and a part-time nobody. Love him or not, Chris Moyles is part of the fabric of our nation and a proven best-selling author. A refreshingly honest, caustically dry and quick-witted commentator on daily life, The Difficult Second Book is a highly-entertaining listen from start to finish.

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    As of May 2009, Johnny Sexton was the little-known backup fly-half for Leinster, the chronically underachieving Irish province. But when Felipe Contepomi went down with an injury early in the Heineken Cup semi-final against a dominant Munster team, Sexton came on, nailed a penalty with his first touch of the game, and helped Leinster to a crushing victory. Four years, three Heineken Cups later and one British and Irish Lions tour victory later, Sexton is by some distance the leading fly-half in the northern hemisphere. When the 2013 Lions squad was selected, there was almost universal agreement that Sexton was the most important single player heading to Australia. And over the course of the Lions' first victorious Test series in sixteen years, Sexton was the man pulling the strings. His try in the third test was the decisive blow, and his joyous celebrations after scoring were echoed in homes across Britain and Ireland. Becoming a Lion is an intimate portrait of life at the highest levels of the professional game - at Leinster, with Ireland, and on tour with the Lions.

    Once hailed as The King, and widely acclaimed as one of the greatest footballers of his generation, Carey fell from the highest pinnacle of the game to the lowest of lows. From his brutal upbringing in Wagga Wagga to his early teen years where he discovered his love of, and talent for, football, Wayne's candid story of his early life reveals much about the man who has dominated headlines for more than a decade – first for his brilliance on the field, but more often for his troubled personal life.Covering the highs of his glory days at North Melbourne to his public downfall after his affair with his vice-captain's wife, Carey's memoir is extraordinarily honest. It is self-searching and searing in its examination of his own behaviour and its effects on those around him. His departure from North Melbourne marked the end of King Carey, and the beginning of a decline that was to see him bailed up in jail in both the US and Australia. His life became a train wreck, as he lurched from one disastrous incident to the next – from his serial infidelity to massive alcohol binges and a growing cocaine addiction – each played out on the front page of every newspaper in the country. This is the story of how a man can reach rock bottom, but begin to haul himself up again.The truth sets you free – but it can hurt. This is without doubt the most powerful sporting memoir ever published in Australia.

    In the span of her early childhoodthrough adulthood, Esther takes you on a journey of unspeakable losses, survival,resilience and strong family bonds.For Esther, the youngest of fourteen siblings born into a conservative Mennonite Colony in the heart of South America, everyday life revolves around rules, routine and monotonous chores on a family farm without so much as electricity and running water. As she sees it, her childhood is normal and ordinary. That is until one catastrophic day when everything changes. Suddenly, eleven-year-old Esther must leave behind everything she’s ever known.This is the true, heartbreaking account of growing up in a Mennonite family and theharrowing events that eventually lead to her and her three youngest siblings’ dramatic escape to Canada. Everything Esther has ever known about her identity is left behind as she struggles to find a place for herself in a new country, a new culture, and a new language.

    A few days later, Mahon murdered her. He cut up her body, and stored it in a trunk; parts of the body were then disposed of by being thrown out of a moving train. The Mahon case is just one of the murders which Percy Savage investigated during his thirty year career as a Scotland Yard detective. 'A Scotland Yard Murder Casebook' brings together a selection of murder cases in which Percy Savage was involved. Some of these cases were gruesome, some were tragic, some involved extraordinary twists and coincidences, and some remain unsolved. A Scotland Yard Murder Casebook will be of interest to anybody who enjoys classic true crime stories. CONTENTS HOW TO DISPOSE OF A CORPSE 1 Secrets of the Locked Bag 2 The Camberwell Triple Murder WAR AND PEACE 3 The Tragedy of Two Army Doctors SUPRISING VIOLENCE 4 The Hunt for the Police Killers 5 Murder by Moonlight THE UNSOLVED MURDER FILE 6 The Camberley Mystery 7 The Luard Case

    The Secret Footballer has teamed up with one of the most highly respected physios in the game to bring you the stories of a football season through the eyes of someone who has covered over 1000 games in his career and who knows the most intimate details about every player he treats.From the pre-season pressures of a new manager and players who have overindulged on their summer breaks, to witnessing some truly horrific (and sometimes career-ending) injuries; from star players who think nothing of using him as their personal family doctor to revealing some of the more unconventional treatments players choose to experiment with, the physio has truly seen it all.Alongside this privileged glimpse into the physio's world, The Secret Footballer will be telling his own tales of injury, pain and perseverance with his trademark insight and wit.

    Yet shortly after reaching those heights, he started to crumble, and famously left the 2012-13 Ashes tour of Australia suffering from a stress related illness. His story is the story of Team England - it encompasses the life-cycle of a team that started out united by ambition, went on to achieve some of the greatest days in the team's history but then, bodies and minds broken, fell apart amid acrimony.Having seen all of this from the inside, Jonathan's autobiography takes readers to the heart of the England dressing room, and to the heart of what it is to be a professional sportsman. Not only does it provide a unique perspective on a remarkably successful period in English cricket and its subsequent reversal, it also offers a fascinating insight into the rewards and risks faced as a sportsman carrying the hope and expectation of a team and a nation. And it's a salutary tale of the dangers pressure can bring in any walk of life, and the perils of piling unrealistic expecations on yourself.

    

    His story is seasoned by his adventures during his first circumnavigation in 1984-86 as told in Across Islands and Oceans. Alone with little money aboard Atom, his now engineless 28-foot sailboat, James embarks on his odyssey without the comforts and equipment most sailors consider essential. Challenging himself to live as closely with the sea as possible, the author sets sail in 1987 from Florida, bound for new adventures on the distant shores of Asia. He does not return home again for 15 years. In this paean to the sea and foreign lands, the author recounts the best and worst of life on the ocean, visits to far-flung islands, and adventures amid throngs of humanity in some of the world’s most densely populated cities. This unvarnished physical and philosophical saga includes encounters with dead-eyed bureaucrats, native angels of mercy, newly discovered WWII wreckage, fellow expat adventurers, rogues and misfits. The journey takes many unplanned turns as the author faces near misses with lurking dangers, hikes across islands, finds temporary employment ashore, and immerses himself in foreign cultures. Along the way he is tested by sea and society, and he ultimately discovers the priceless treasures of heart and mind that he seeks. James invites you to come aboard Atom for the journey of a lifetime.

    Her larger-than-life personality makes people cry with laughter as she haphazardly navigates through one romantic crisis after another.Gemma tries hard when it comes to finding 'Mr Right' - baking love pies and sexy texting - yet it never seems to work out. But does she care? Of course she doesn't. She always has the upper hand, leaving men quaking in their boots and women looking on in admiration. But finding her confidence has been a long and heartbreaking journey for Gemma.Inside, she opens up about the life events she endured before finding fame and feeling comfortable in her own skin. From breaking up with the love of her life and miscarrying a baby, to a drastic weight gain and depression; life for a real Essex girl is far from just an endless cycle of spray tans and vajazzles. Basically... is the touching yet riotously funny story of how a young girl with a big heart finally found what she'd been looking for. Herself.

    Messrs Barker and Corbett kept a nation laughing for two decades, and yet despite the rigorous work that went into writing, rehearsing and broadcasting almost a hundred episodes to millions of viewers each week, the pair never shared a cross word. In this memoir, the late Ronnie Corbett tells the story of their rise from theatre, through The Frost Report and into their own legendary show, as well as how some of their greatest sketches, including Mastermind and Fork Handles, came into being. This is the story of one of the great British institutions of the last thirty years, and a hilarious and moving look inside the working lives of two of our most-beloved comedians.

    Part biography, part catharsis, the story of how a tearaway kid became heavyweight champion of the world, and one of Britain’s best-loved sports stars; his descent into mental illness and his slow and painful journey back to health.From the Trade Paperback edition.