And when Lady Peculiar’s butler – a part-time comedian – is found drowned in his own mango chutney, Detective Inspector Clinton Trump comes blundering onto the scene – ready to shun logic, breach protocol and trust in his own gut instincts. What will South East England’s greatest detective uncover? Is her ladyship a murderess? Was the killer a comedy rival? Or are darker forces at work in this particular corner of Brokenshire? Join our self-proclaimed British detective genius, as he races against time to solve this very funny murder mystery – so he can play golf at the weekend! The first novel in the ‘Clinton Trump Detective Genius’ series This riotous English detective spoof is murderously good fun from first page to last, as Inspector Trump and his unwanted sidekick, Constable Dinkel, encounter a procession of crazy comedy characters in the Great British countryside. Stuffed solid with British humour (or ‘humor’, if you’re one of the many American tourists who visit Upper Goosing), its mix of black comedy, British farce, funny one-liners and downright silliness is guaranteed to generate tremendous titters across the very civilised world.More amateur sleuth than professional investigator, Clinton Trump will bring a smile to your face like no other Trump has before, or probably ever will. So, jump aboard the Trump detection train, blow your Clinton trumpet and join the movement – Make Murder-Mystery Great Again! A Word from Detective Inspector Clinton Trump: “Greetings from Upper Goosing – the murder capital of Europe. You’ll find the scenery, tea rooms and cake shops are well worth the risk of a premature, grisly death. But before purchasing this novel, please note that it only employs British English, as spoken by Her Majesty the Queen. I don’t want anyone griping about me saying ‘per cent’ instead of ‘percent’, ‘metre’ instead of ‘meter’ or ‘tea’ instead of ‘coffee’. If you must grumble, please do as the English do and complain only to yourself. And if you’re planning on enjoying a cup of Earl Grey with this quality e-book, please remember: it’s tea first, milk second. Finally, don’t be afraid to laugh thunderously when reading this novel. Just don’t laugh yourself to death – we have enough fatalities around here as it is. Thank you.”

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    Determined to prove herself to her family, she’ll stop at nothing to get what she wants. But when her bitchy tongue gains her death threats and the unwanted attention of a stalker, it could be Anoushka who is making the headlines. For actress Evie Merchant, her childhood dreams of becoming the world’s hottest movie star are just about to come true. But a string of hurtful liaisons with lovers out to use her fame, has made Evie uncertain about her future. And with Oscar day looming, Evie’s biggest prize of all could be cruelly snatched from her. A loveless upbringing has made wild child Regan Phoenix search for quick-fix highs from drink, drugs and meaningless sex. But when the opportunity of starring in her own reality show comes along, Regan grabs it with both hands, hoping to put her trashy past behind her. From fashionable London to stunning Venice and glitzy LA, Trinity takes you into a glamorous and thrilling world you won’t want to leave.

     Imagine if you could use Scrivener for Windows like a seasoned professional, knowing the keyboard shortcuts, what the tools on the toolbar do; flying through the application and creating an amazing story without being distracted by having to look up how to use a feature every time you want to use it. In the back of your mind you know that the Scrivener software you bought is going to simplify your writing process and help you become more productive. You have heard about the cool split screen views, virtual cork boards and the collections feature where you can process all instances of a document at once even though you have it in several different collections. But best of all you’ve heard that you can export your content to multiple platforms without having to change the original draft document! Imagine the time you are going to save. Not to mention that if you can format your own work for export you will no longer be held hostage to the whims and schedules of anyone else. The problem is, before you can do all that, you have to learn how to use the Scrivener software. This can be time consuming if you try to learn from the Scrivener users manual which is highly technical and includes every conceivable function and feature of the software. Don’t get me wrong. The Scrivener users manual has every bit of information you will ever need regarding Scrivener because it is supposed to be like that, but it sure is difficult to weed out the bits that pertain to the project you want to write. I know because that is the way I had to learn it. What I would have liked was a Scrivener essentials guide with: Plenty of pictures, so that you can instantly recognize the regions of the user interface. Arrows pointing right at the buttons mentioned in the instructions, making them easy to find. Instructions embedded into the images they refer to so that they don’t drift onto the next page because of the personal settings on your Kindle. No distracting instructions for Macintosh users that send you on a wild goose chase after functions that are not supported by Scrivener for Windows. So I wrote a guide just like that. In it you will learn to: Open a project and customize your workspaces. Toggle between normal Text Editing Mode, Cork Board Mode and Outlining Mode and how to use each of them as well as how to use the distraction free Full Screen Mode. Split your screen to have two documents or two versions of the same document open at once. Manage your files and folders, whether you are starting from scratch in Scrivener or want to import your content from another writing application pre-sorted into chapters or sections. Make use of Scrivener’s editing tools like collections and snapshots (which takes a snap shot of the current state of a document so that you can revert to it if you don’t like your subsequent edits.) Compile your work for export to your agent, as a paperback or as an eBook. How to download some tools so that you can preview your content before you send it out. If you are ready to improve your writing process, scroll up, click the buy button and start making the most of your Scrivener Software today!

    Embraced as a cultural touchstone, the 1993 film would also make Matthew McConaughey’s famous phrase—alright, alright, alright—ubiquitous. But it started with a simple idea: Linklater thought people might like to watch a movie about high school kids just hanging out and listening to music on the last day of school in 1976.    To some, that might not even sound like a movie. But to a few studio executives, it sounded enough like the next American Graffiti to justify the risk. Dazed and Confused underperformed at the box office and seemed destined to disappear. Then something weird happened: Linklater turned out to be right. This wasn’t the kind of movie everybody liked, but it was the kind of movie certain people loved, with an intensity that felt personal. No matter what their high school experience was like, they thought Dazed and Confused was about them.Alright, Alright, Alright is the story of how this iconic film came together and why it worked. Combining behind-the-scenes photos and insights from nearly the entire cast, including Matthew McConaughey, Parker Posey, Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, and many others, and with full access to Linklater’s Dazed archives, it offers an inside look at how a budding filmmaker and a cast of newcomers made a period piece that would feel timeless for decades to come.

    A huge collection of incredible cautionary tales about the undignified ways you can kick the bucket - and they're all true! .the mechanic who blew himself up while trying to open a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer .A woman felled by a fatal flying lettuce .the octogenarian who caught a shopping trolley to a permanent vacation .the convicted murderer who electrocuted himself on the toilet as he repaired a tV these are all true reports which reveal the silliest ways you can bite the big one. Death may seem like a serious business, but this is a seriously funny book.

    

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    He thinks Mount Sinai Hospital is an exclusive golf course and his catheter is a gym bag. His only link to reality is his thirty-five-year-old nephew, who makes his living as a hired gun for thirteen softball teams and still goes by the name College Boy.But College Boy's body has begun to betray him -- almost as much as his lack of ambition. (His only legitimate paycheck comes from a gig as a laugher on a morning radio show.) Not only that, the Dirt King, a small-time gangster who controls all the replacement soil in Central Park, is after College Boy. As their lives collide, College Boy takes refuge in the arms of Sheila -- his uncle's cleaning woman and a part-time call girl.And then it gets weird.

    He has played everyone from Ned Ryerson in "Groundhog Day" to Sandy Ryerson in "Glee." He has amused thousands with his true stories on "The Tobolowsky Files" at Slashfilm.com. Here he shares some homespun philosophy and more true stories that prove tales of sex, drugs, and rock and roll are often the most humiliating and almost always the most enjoyable.

    Hilariously funny, with all actions included.

    But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.

    Urzila talks candidly about her childhood with a great family, apart from her abusive dad, and about growing up in South Africa. She shares crazy but true tales about her OE, her move to New Zealand, coming out, getting married and having children, and her life in comedy. This is a great listen from one of our most loved and most popular comedians.

    They also found that 80% of authors make less than $6,000 per year, which is not a livable income.Michelle Kulp, 10x bestselling author, has been writing a book a month since 2019 and has generated thousands of dollars in passive income now using this system.If you are any type of expert - coach, speaker, consultant, trainer, healer, CEO, business owner - this is the perfect way to share your knowledge, attract new clients, and increase your following and author-ity!Here's some of what you'll discover in 28 Books to $100K: Why volume boosts visibility?How to write books that people want.Why shorter is better?6 types of short books to write.50 templates to help you create your Killer Titles.How to launch like a Pro and become a #1 bestselling author.16 Rapid Writing Secrets to help you get your book written fast.The Bestseller Checklist.7 Questions You Must Ask Before You Write Your Book.Your 12-Month Book template.The Self-Publishing Checklist.The extra rocket fuel your books need to keep selling.Your Income Tracking Chart.The 30-Day Roadmap to Writing a Book a MonthAnd More!If you're ready to turn your dreams into a reality, make passive income by self-publishing and become a 6-Figure Author, click the BUY NOW button and let's get started on this new brand new path!

    On the run, he holes up in a sheltered barrio on a bluff above the Pacific Ocean owned by his wealthy but unsympathetic father. Here he meets Sweets, the telepathic dog, laments the loss of Sofia, his madhouse lover, and plays the horses at the Del Mar Racetrack. Eventually he meets up with an old friend, Shelly Hubbard, a fellow horseplayer, record collector/dealer, and hardcore loner, who tells him about his brother, Donny, dead at the age of eighteen from a tragic dive off a thirty-foot La Jolla sea cliff known as the Clam. Eddie discovers a family secret and wants to help, but by then he's already embroiled in the psychotic incident with the Tijuana prostitutes, the madhouse lover, and the police, who are hot on his tail. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has nothing on Whirlaway, a hilarious novel of escaped mental patients, horseplayers, and record collectors.