There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, "I need to poop". "Okay, Rebecca replied, "I like poop". Douglas squatted down over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's boobs, looking like a weiner...."Why are we here?", Douglas cried as poop came out his weiner in a long thin strip, it was weiner-poop, which is the grossest poop of all.The peepee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs.And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt.And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after.

    The classic story of a boy's adventures in the Mississippi Valley.

    

    Filled with dark humor and an unforgettable cast of characters Oliver Twist, Fagin, Nancy, Bill Sykes, and the Artful Dodger, to name a few Dickens's second novel is a compelling social satire that has remained popular since it was first serialized in 1837-39. The text for this Modern Library Paperback Classic is taken from the 1846 New Edition, revised and corrected by the author. It includes new explanatory notes and an appendix, A Brief History of the English Poor Laws.

    Integrating literature with philosophy in an innovative way, editor Louis P. Pojman uses literary works to enliven and make concrete the ethical theory or applied issues addressed in each chapter. Literary works by Camus, Hawthorne, Hugo, Huxley, Ibsen, Le Guin, Melville, Orwell, Styron, Tolstoy, and many others lead students into philosophical concepts and issues such as relativism; utilitarianism; virtue ethics; the meaning of life; freedom; sex, love, and marriage; and environmental ethics. Once introduced, these topics are developed further through readings by philosophers including Aristotle, Jane English, Thomas E. Hill, Jr., Jean-Paul Sartre, and Bernard Williams. This unique anthology emphasizes the personal dimension of ethics, which is often ignored or minimized in ethics texts. The second edition offers several new selections including work by Maya Angelou, Kevin Bales, John Benson, Susan Glaspell, C. S. Lewis, R. M. MacIver, Plato, Plutarch, James Rachels, Ayn Rand, Voltaire, and Kurt Vonnegut. It also adds a new chapter on justice and the threat of terrorism featuring material from the Old Testament--in which the equivalent of a jihad occurs--followed by philosophical analyses by Martha Nussbaum and Louis P. Pojman. Featuring expanded part and chapter introductions as well as biographical sketches, abstracts, and study questions for each reading selection, The Moral Life, 2/e, is ideal for introductory ethics courses. It also provides an engaging gateway into personal and social ethics for the general reader.

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    He provided details of slave markets in Washington, DC, as well as describing at length cotton cultivation on major plantations in Louisiana.President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863, as the nation approached its third year of bloody civil war. The proclamation declared "that all persons held as slaves" within the rebellious states "are, and henceforward shall be free."

    Eliot to be the most important and influential poet of the 20th century, and Four Quartets to be his finest poem and greatest literary achievement. Dove Descending is a journey into the beauties and depths of Eliot's masterpiece written by Thomas Howard, bestselling author, professor and critic. In this line-by-line commentary, Howard unravels the complexities of the sublime poem with such adept adroitness that even its most difficult passages spring to life. During his many years as a professor of English and Literature, Howard taught this poem often, and developed what he calls "a reading" approach to its concepts that render their meaning more lucid for the reader. Dove Descending reunites the brilliant insights of a master teacher whose understanding and love of Eliot's writings are shared here for the great benefit of the reader.Dove Descending is:The first in-depth exposition of Eliot's masterwork ever publishedThe fruit of Howard's many years of teaching Eliot and his unique understanding of the complexities of the great poemA must-have book for fans of T. S Eliot, and anyone who wants to understand his greatest work.

    He inherited the best traditions of 19th century classical Russian literature and was at the same time the creator of a new art, socialist realism; he laid the foundations of the young Soviet Literature. Gorky was born "Aleksey Maksimovich Peshkov" on March 16, 1868, in Nizhny Novgorod, Russia - which was later renamed in his honor after his death (ordered by Stalin himself, it is rumored). The bitterness of his early life led him to choose the name Maxim Gorky (which means "the bitter one") as his pseudonym. Although jailed periodically for association with revolutionaries and for his own outspoken opinion on the existing social order, Gorky managed to publish a few short stories, mostly about the tramps and derelicts he had met on his journeys. These short stories soon became very popular, touching the imagination of the Russian people. Gorky became a kind of folk hero. He was the first Russian author to write sympathetically of such characters as tramps and thieves, emphasizing their daily struggles against overwhelming odds.

    As in all Delphi Classics, the work is presented in a scholarly fashion, with all of the novels placed in chronological order, allowing readers to explore the author's gradual development in writing. The majority of texts are from Constance Garnett's celebrated translations, bringing the true spirit of Dostoyevsky's work to the English reader. Please note: we aim to provide the most comprehensive author collections available to Kindle readers. Sadly, it’s not always possible to guarantee an absolutely ‘complete’ works, due to copyright restrictions or the scarcity of minor works that have been translated into English. However, we do ensure our customers that every possible major text and a wealth of other material are included. We are dedicated to developing and enhancing our eBooks, which are available as free updates for customers who have already purchased them.CONTENTS:The NovelsPOOR FOLKTHE DOUBLENETOCHKA NEZVANOVAUNCLE’S DREAMTHE VILLAGE OF STEPANCHIKOVOTHE INSULTED AND HUMILIATEDTHE HOUSE OF THE DEADNOTES FROM UNDERGROUNDCRIME AND PUNISHMENTTHE GAMBLERTHE ETERNAL HUSBANDTHE IDIOTTHE POSSESSEDTHE RAW YOUTHTHE BROTHERS KARAMAZOVThe Short StoriesMR. PROHARTCHINTHE CHRISTMAS TREE AND THE WEDDINGTHE HEAVENLY CHRISTMAS TREETHE CROCODILEBOBOKA GENTLE SPIRITTHE DREAM OF A RIDICULOUS MANTHE PEASANT MAREYTHE LITTLE ORPHANA WEAK HEARTWHITE NIGHTSTHE MEEK GIRLPOLZUNKOVA LITTLE HEROTHE HONEST THIEFA NOVEL IN NINE LETTERSTHE LANDLADYAN UNPLEASANT PREDICAMENTANOTHER MAN'S WIFETHE GRAND INQUISITORThe Non-FictionDOSTOYEVSKY’S JOURNALTHE COMPLETE LETTERSThe CriticismON RUSSIAN NOVELISTS BY WILLIAM LYON PHELPSRUSSIAN ROMANCE BY EARL OF EVELYN BARING CROMERA SURVEY OF RUSSIAN LITERATURE BY ISABEL FLORENCE HAPGOODAN OUTLINE OF RUSSIAN LITERATURE BY MAURICE BARING

    I. Lonoff, he soon finds himself enmeshed in the great Jewish writer's domestic life, with all its complexity, artifice and drive for artistic truth. As Nathan sits in breathlessly awkward conversation with his idol, a glimpse of a dark-haired beauty through a closing doorway leaves him reeling. He soon learns that the entrancing vision is Amy Bellette, but her position in the Lonoff household - student? mistress? - remains tantalisingly unclear. Over a disturbed and confusing dinner, Nathan gleans snippets of Amy's haunting Jewish background, and begins to draw his own fantastical conclusions...

    His is the first split-level church in America, a bastion of modern thought and sophisticated virtue, yet even his prosperous parishioners are not immune to the backsliding evangelism infecting other parts of the country. One misguided congregant wants to sing hymns to hospital patients. Another goes so far as to put up a billboard with the message “Jesus Saves” written in phosphorescent green-and-orange letters. How is Mackerel supposed to write sermons with a vulgarity like that staring him in the face?Worse yet, the recently widowed pastor has fallen in love with Molly Calico, a former actress turned city hall clerk, well before the church is ready to stop mourning Mackerel’s saintly wife. Plans are under way for a shopping mall and memorial plaza commemorating the dear departed, and Mackerel must go to ever-greater lengths to keep his new romance a secret and his new paramour happy. Meanwhile, it is becoming clear that his devoted sister-in-law, Hester, has plans of her own when it comes to the reverend’s matrimonial future.As Mackerel twists and turns to get what he wants and avoid what he does not, the plot of this rollicking portrait of suburban piety kicks into high—and hilarious—gear.

    This comprehensive companion takes these fragments and weaves them into an accessible and enjoyable narrative, guiding the reader through the basic stories of classical myth.Philip Matyszak explains the sequences of events and introduces the major plots and characters, from the origins of the world and the labors of Hercules to the Trojan War and the voyages of Odysseus and Aeneas. He brings to life an exotic cast of heroes and monsters, wronged women and frighteningly arbitrary yet powerful gods. He also shows how the stories have survived and greatly influenced later art and culture, from Renaissance painting and sculpture to modern opera, literature, movies, and everyday products.

    After two years at the Russian front, Ernst Graeber finally receives three weeks’ leave. But since leaves have been canceled before, he decides not to write his parents, fearing he would just raise their hopes. Then, when Graeber arrives home, he finds his house bombed to ruin and his parents nowhere in sight. Nobody knows if they are dead or alive. As his leave draws to a close, Graeber reaches out to Elisabeth, a childhood friend. Like him, she is imprisoned in a world she did not create. But in a time of war, love seems a world away. And sometimes, temporary comfort can lead to something unexpected and redeeming. “The world has a great writer in Erich Maria Remarque. He is a craftsman of unquestionably first rank, a man who can bend language to his will. Whether he writes of men or of inanimate nature, his touch is sensitive, firm, and sure.”—The New York Times Book Review