"By reading my book, you can become happier without ever having to leave the comfort and security of your own private hell," she writes. In How to Be Hap-Hap-Happy Like Me, Merrill Markoe has undertaken the arduous task of actually carrying out the best "how to be happy" suggestions from the wisest of all possible sources of advice, the "365 Days to a Happier Life" Desk Calendar. So abandon the pursuit of happiness, sit back, and "extend a social invitation to someone you've always been afraid to approach," and share Merrill's unforgettable dinner with Fabio; "take the time to improve your knowledge of another period of history," while dining with Merrill at the Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament Restaurant franchise ("where the year is 1093 A.D. and you are the guests of the royal castle"); "plan a party and invite the people you care about," in which you watch Merrill answer the door in her pajamas and pretend the party was yesterday; "enroll in a class or lecture that interests you," accompanying Merrill to a session of Dominatrix 101 at the Learning Annex. Where else can you discover the beauty secrets of someone who is not so genetically perfect that her advice is completely useless, or "How to Please a Man Every Time and Have Him Okay Maybe Not Beg for More but at Least Not Demand a Whole Lot Less"? Markoe is that rare soul who will unselfishly share with you these and many other secrets of how to live a not-totally-nightmarish life. And even if you don't learn anything, this book will make you laugh, which is more happiness than you can get from most desk calendars.

    Before retiring in 1997, he took his team to a bowl game every year, won three national championships in the last four years he coached, and ended his career boasting an 84 percent winning record. But while these numbers testify to an undeniable accomplishment, it has been another, more powerful force that has shaped Osborne's life: his faith.In Faith in the Game, this legendary coach shares the philosophy he used to create not only a champion football team, but also a meaningful life. Both a memoir of Osborne's career with the Cornhuskers and an inspirational guide to making the most out of life, Faith in the Game presents the traits Osborne helped to instill in his team, including core values like honesty, loyalty, and courage. Illustrated with compelling behind-the-scenes stories of the Nebraska football team and conveyed in his own captivating tone, Osborne's message reveals the value of hard work, the need to balance our professional and personal obligations, and, above all, the importance of bringing faith into our lives.For those seeking a spiritually centered approach to living and working, this candid account of Tom Osborne's faith and strength is a warm and authentic book from which all of us can learn.

    Slump and one of the strangest places on Earth!

    With topics such as pointless professional development where the author learned how to make bird noises, insanely incompetent teachers who make the good ones look bad, the shit parades that are parent conferences, lack of discipline even for kids who attack people with weapons, outrageous parent requests such as checking the size and color of a teenager's poop, this follow-up to the wildly popular memoir Teacher Misery does not disappoint! Think the stories in Teacher Misery were crazy? Just wait till you read More Teacher Misery!"Morris opens up about the comical misery that has become the teaching profession-giving a voice to teachers everywhere." Parent Herald"One of the funniest teacher books you'll ever read!" Bored Teachers"The stories that Morris tells about the school system are riveting. The antics and violence and outright stupidity that she and other teachers have had to endure are outright insane -- some of it is so crazy it's almost unbelievable." Mission Incomplete"A must read for every single human being on this world, from teachers to parents, students, administrators,  just name it. Let me be honest, nonfiction kind of book is not my cup of tea, but this book is simply amazing, hilarious, keep surprising me non stop!" Jessica's Book Blog"This one is just the most hilarious and heart-breaking ever! Laugh out loud funny!" Teachers Are Terrific"Her stories are so ridiculous, that a non-educator might actually believe they're fabricated. Unfortunately, those of us who are on the inside know it's all too real. Her stories are laugh out loud funny, touching, and at times, maddening." Having a Mom Moment"This book is a great read and a real eye-opener." Carpe Librum"I recommend this book for many reasons. Morris is a great writer who did a great job at presenting her case. She is funny and entertaining. She is above all honest with her interpretation and the things that she sees around her. I liked the variation in text and material. Overall, this books needs to be spread around the country. She isn't the only person that feels this way. There are thousands of other people out there like her and their voices need to be heard." The Next Book on my List"This book was a HILARIOUS read!" The Simply Organized Teacher"I dare you not to laugh out loud!" Robin O'Bryant, New York Times bestselling author of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves "Jane is a gifted storyteller, you will chuckle and you will sig. The perfect gift for your kid's teacher or a teacher friend!" Joyce Kaufman, EdD, Host of The Joyce Kaufman Show, Newstalk 850 WFTL "Jane Morris gives us a beautifully written exposé about the worst sides of today's students, parents and school administrators." Bruce Tulgan, bestselling author of Not Everyone Gets a Trophy: How to Manage the Millenials "Jane Morris lifts the curtain on the horror teachers in our country face every day." Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club "The stories Morris tells are unbelievable and yet, I'm positive they're true." Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat "Morris dishes on the truth about trying to teach in this culture and it is hilarious, informative, and insightful." Stefanie Wilder Taylor, New York Times bestselling author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay "A compelling answer to anyone thoughtless enough to assert that teachers have it easy.

    p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Times New Roman'} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Times New Roman'; min-height: 15.0px} Over the last forty years, Cousin Sal has made bets with doctors, lawyers, teachers, agents, bookies, writers, comedians, radio DJs, tv producers, baseball players, front office executives, bandleaders, movie stars, publicists, weed lab owners, hedge fund operators, and even professional wrestlers. From his early days growing up in Brooklyn and Long Island flipping baseball cards to now hosting podcasts and TV shows and managing several offshore accounts we don't talk about, Cousin Sal has truly become the average American sports fan's go to source for gambling tips. So here's how not to do it... With hilarious tales of love and loss, winning and (a lot) of losing, crazy family and fatherhood, and a life saga that inspired the Phil Collins' song, "Against All Odds," Cousin Sal has now written THE Vegas super-system, MIT-algorithmic, sharp-approved book for how to gamble like a pro -- or at least not how not to go broke and lose your kids to Child Protective Services.

    Only thirty-six Americans have competed in the Tour de France since the world’s greatest bicycle race began in 1903. That’s not too many more than the twelve Americans who have walked on the moon. It’s far fewer than the hundreds of Americans who have reached the summit of Mount Everest.But rising stars such as Lawson Craddock of Texas, Benjamin King of Virginia, Taylor Phinney of Colorado, Daniel Holloway of California, and Tyler Farrar of Washington state are doing just that as they endure crashes, cold rain, cobblestones, crosswinds, and culture shock on their road to cycling stardom, which starts in Belgium.This is the story of the next generation—of riders not yet tainted by drug scandals, of riders still bursting with hope and potential. This is the story American cycling fans need right now. -------------------“People, get ready for great stories written well. The Belgian Hammer captures cycling culture.” —Benjamin King, 2010 U.S. Pro Road Racing Champion“The Belgian Hammer is the unique story of professional cycling that hasn’t yet been told until now. Daniel Lee has revealed the road map for the next generation of Americans hoping to become successful in Europe, where cycling is king.” —Jim Ochowicz, President/General Manager of the BMC Racing Team.“All of us who left our tire prints on the European circuits remember how racing there shaped us forever. With passion, Daniel Lee gives substance and perspective to the experience of young Americans trying to make it in Europe; and bicycle racing is illuminated by his craft.”—John Howard, three-time Olympic cyclist, who set a bicycle speed record of 152.2 mph in 1985“For those who admire images of cyclists flashing with arms spread wide in triumph over the finish line on blue-sky days, Daniel Lee gives us an insightful, forceful, and gritty account of the rigorous―and frequently perilous―route that cyclists take to force their way up the ranks and develop skills to win. A former racer himself, Dan Lee puts his passion for the sport into his newspaper reporter experience and writing talent. In The Belgian Hammer he follows Taylor Phinney, Benjamin King, Daniel Holloway, and other legends in the making on the USA Cycling national team living in Belgium, where the young bloods from around the world go to test themselves against the best of their generation. They compete in tight packs exceeding 150 riders pumping over narrow wind-blown roads slick from rain while threading through the countryside at unrelenting speed. To spectators cycling matches the grace of ballet. Daniel Lee reveals its uncompromising demands and brutality and heroics.” ―Peter Joffre Nye, author of The Six-Day Bicycle Races: America’s Jazz Age Sport and a Trustee of the U.S. Bicycling Hall of Fame

     Bedlam, is the first of four books in the hysterically funny series, “Diary of a Stressed Out Mother”. Dora Loveday (harassed mother of four kids, two unruly dogs, and a psychotic cat), records the daily chaos and madness of her family life in this laugh-out-loud, comic romp of a diary!

    This entertaining, easy-to-understand visual presentation makes it easy for you to pick up his techniques and use them on the waves.Robison covers every aspect of the sport, from paddling out through the surf zone and catching and riding that first wave to nose riding, acrobatics, shortboard riding, and to equipment repairs.

    It may be gross, but kids love this stuff, and that's the point! I originally wrote this book for my son, a first grader, who was struggling with sight words and reading speed. The sight word books, decodable word books, early reader books, and flash cards they offered him at school were boring, which made it a challenge to get him excited about reading. So I decided to write a series of children's books using sight words but with stories about the things I heard him and his friends laughing about. It worked! My son was able to read my Billy Bad sight word stories with speed and confidence. And because he was laughing I knew his reading comprehension was improving. This book is written using mostly Dolch sight words and a few other words that are easily decodable. Unlike most sight word books and decodable word books, Billy Bad's sight word books have stories that will capture the attention of early readers and make them laugh. When kids enjoy the stories they read they fall in love with reading. I hope your child enjoys these silly (and gross) sight word books as much as my son does.

    In his car were the drugs the team needed if they were to have any chance of playing a competitive part in the 1998 Tour de France. The car was searched, he was immediately arrested and so the story that has been undermining the sport of cycling since the death of Tommy Simpson in 1967, finally broke. Imprisoned for sixteen days, sacked from the Festina team and ostracised from the sport to which he had dedicated his life, Willy Voet at last was able to tell the truth. His sensational story will change cycling forever.Cocaine, amphetamines, EPO, heroin - all these are now considered not optional but necessary, not to win but just to compete in the Tour de France. Details of how these drugs are obtained, mixed together to make cocktails, administered and concealed are all included in this graphic and uninhibited account of how drugs brought cycling to its knees.

    Even before turning thirty, Pujols has accrued batting totals that most players only dream of gaining over the course of an entire career.Among all Major Leaguers who ever played the game, Pujols already ranks in the top twenty in batting average, slugging percentage, on-base percentage, and adjusted on-base plus slugging. In simple terms, he is one of the greatest offensive players to in baseball history.Pujols hit 201 home runs in his first five seasons, placing him in second place all-time for the most homers hit during a player's first five years. Not stopping there, in 2009 he reached the 350-home run mark at a younger age than anyone except Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez. By doing so, he also surpassed the record for most home runs in the first nine years of a career, breaking the mark established by Hall of Famer Ralph Kiner way back in 1954. And speaking of nine seasons, Pujols now stands as the only player ever to begin a career with nine consecutive years of 30 home runs and 100 runs batted in. And that's just for starters.But when the adulation comes his way, Pujols points people to an even greater hero, directing them to Christ. "At the end of the day," he says, "as long as I glorify him, and those 45,000 people know who I represent out there every time I step out on the field, that's what it's about. It's about representing God." Albert Pujols: Bigger than the Game will satisfy MLB fans who like their baseball slathered in amazing stats, and it will shed light on the faith that Pujols says makes it all possible.

    On the back of his successful domination of Australia, George and his PR team are busy plotting which country will go gaga next. But since Royal Baby 2.0 came along, George is struggling to retain his composure and remind himself that he is the heir, this new pretender is the spare.This diary takes us through a year in the life of the world's most influential toddler, and is rumoured to include: the lowdown on the country's biggest specialist taskforce - Team Catherine's Hair; how George took the news that he was about to be usurped by the arrival of the new baby; and his frantic attempts to find Uncle Harry a wife.

    (Seriously!) #3 No lies Her rules present a problem for Brad Degrand, a professional football player for the Texas Titans who has a secret he can’t share with Petra—because it’s about Petra. (And also because he's falling in love with her.) As their romance heats up and Petra slowly takes down her walls, Brad’s guilt grows. He’s falling for this single mother who fights plaque by day and stalkers and scam artists by night. But, if she knew the part he’d played in her past, she’d send him packing. When the truth comes to light, Brad has to lay everything on the line. And Petra? She has to put those Sunday school lessons to good use. Because guys like Brad don’t come along every day and losing him could be the loss of a lifetime.

    In Flip the Script you will learn the life-changing lessons of leadership and determination Coach O discovered on the road to a championship. Ed Orgeron, head coach of the record-breaking national champion LSU Tigers football team, tells the inspiring story of reversing the team's fortunes and culture, as well as his own remarkable leadership journey from disappointment and setback to the apex of college sports.The storybook football season for the LSU Tigers in 2019 was the stuff of legend: a team with recently unmet expectations became the undefeated national champion with a Heisman trophy-winning transfer quarterback under the leadership of a coach whose previous coaching stops had been disappointments. Yet that coach, Ed Orgeron, had turned everything around. He flipped the script, transforming a program that lately had not reached its potential into a team of unprecedented dominance. Flip the Script is the story of how it happened, with lessons for anyone who wants to succeed. Telling the story of his own journey that culminated in the Cinderella season, Orgeron highlights the traits he learned are necessary for success:an ability and willingness to learn from mistakes,the necessity of perseverance,recognizing and focusing on what you’re truly good at,building unity, andovercoming hardship.The road to success is never easy, as Ed Orgeron's life reveals. But his life also shows that with determination and a willingness to learn from experience, your trajectory can change--your script can be flipped--and you can achieve more than you ever dreamed.

    Because a pair of drawstring sweatpants could bring about your most embarrassing moment. And a toothpick in your sandwich can be the deadliest of weapons. Including hundreds of bizarre-but-true things that can get you, this compact volume will induce nervous page flipping and make even the most snug and secure folks bonafide paranoiacs. Chilling black and white photographs document the everyday items that menace your safety. But whether it's archibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth) or phobophobia (the fear of fear itself) that eventually gets you, don't be afraid to buy this book. You never know what might happen to you if you don't.