Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    Jane Austen's classic story about love and money is updated in this imaginative series with a little bit of blood, a touch of mayhem, and a whole bunch of zombies! 2 Book Set.

    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    One cold December night in 1959 she can take no more. She and her son Davey escape to her mother. But Paul is in trouble with dangerous men. Unable to pay his debts, he blackmails Louise and those who love her, keeping a shadowy presence in their lives. Even the arrival of Charlie Fox, a stranger who becomes a true friend, cannot guarantee that the future will be safe...No One's GirlJane Reynolds seems a devoted daughter, but her father's cruelty has left her afraid to love. After his sudden death she becomes a virtual recluse, leaving her small farm only to go to market. But everything changes when she finds a young runaway hiding near her cottage. Alice, too, is unloved and in pain, and as the pair become friends, Jane begins to wonder whether she could offer the girl the loving home she's never had. But dark secrets in both their pasts threaten everything Jane hopes for...Dancing Till MidnightGrace Collins, orphaned as a child, was raised by her severely religious aunt. Starved of love, she falls for the first man who shows her affection, Barry Swan. Then Grace falls pregnant. They marry and, for a while, Grace knows happiness. Barry adores her and is a wonderful father, but something is missing. When Barry takes her dancing, the gap seems to be filled - until she meets Philip Golding. He sweeps Grace off her feet but as he draws her into a web of deceit, she discovers that all that glitters is not gold...

     The Ragger and Sekar aliens have pushed humanity to the brink of annihilation. Two hopes for survival – genetic modifications to protect against the Sekar, and the death pulse generator – are years from completion. With no other choice, Fleet Admiral Stone is forced to make a deal with the devil in the form of a mutually beneficial exchange of technology with the back-stabbing Raggers. Naturally, the Raggers haven’t changed. However, the aliens are about to discover that when humanity is pushed into a corner, anything goes. In a game of lies, threats and false promises, Stone must do what he can to come out ahead. If he fails, billions die. Only a fool would put all their eggs in one basket. While talks proceed, other, more direct action is ongoing behind the scenes. Captains Tanner Conway and Jake Griffin have a mission of their own which, if it succeeds, might turn everything on its head. With planets under attack, Raggers and Sekar turning up everywhere, this high-stakes game is about to come to an explosive conclusion. Scum of the Universe is a fast-paced military sci-fi shooter filled with spaceships, guns, tech and warfare. It follows on from book 6 in the Fire and Rust Series: Nullifier and concludes the Fire and Rust series.

    Iconoclast. Apostate. Drunk. Many words have been used to describe Doug Stanhope, but rarely has “hopeful” been one of them. However, heading into 2016, Stanhope peered through the apocalyptic fog and saw a forecast that was more rainbows than acid rain: His first book was set for release, his new stand-up special was in the can, and he was about to film a television pilot with his friend and confidant Johnny Depp. The sharks of Hollywood were circling, and Stanhope’s pockets were filled with chum. The only thing that could stop Doug was himself, and that’s exactly what he did.First came the booze, then came the pills, then came the stripper, and then, Doug came. A tryst aboard a cruise ship leaves him literally and figuratively adrift when his scorned wife, Bingo, reveals she is in love with another man: a jug-sippin’, guitar-pickin’ hobo. A simple, black-out fling turns out to be a pebble tossed into the lake of you-know-what named 2016, and in No Encore for the Donkey, Stanhope traces the resulting rings.Written and performed by Stanhope, his third memoir follows the veteran comedian on a quest to save his marriage, his wife, and eventually his wife’s life. Our hero's journey finds Stanhope cuddling with Johnny Depp in his Los Angeles mansion, receiving some much-needed TLC from Marilyn Manson, and - most daunting - building a new hour of comedy in the rusted-out hellscapes of post-industrial America.Equal parts love letter, road romp, and harrowing condemnation of the failures of America’s mental health care system, No Encore for the Donkey is a hilarious and heartbreaking account of a man balancing on the edge of damnation. With Bingo in a coma and Trump about to be elected, Stanhope sifts through the ruins of his own personal cataclysm in order to answer the big questions: What does it mean to love someone when you can’t love yourself? What is the point of success if you have no one to share it with? And is the end of the world BYOB?

    

    Never-been-told stories of sex, drugs and rock & roll. Plus exclusive photos! It's your all-access pass...a behind-the-scenes VIP tour of when rock was great. The author takes you backstage and inside bands' dressing rooms, hotel suites and private planes of Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney and dozens more.

    He enlists the aid of his lifelong buddy, Aldo Scalicki, a confirmed bachelor who tries, without apparent success, to convince Huey that he would be better off sticking with his new lady friend, Teresa, a usually placid young waitress whose indignation flares when she learns what Huey is up to. In a moonlit balcony scene (hilariously reminiscent of Cyrano de Bergerac) Aldo pleads his lovesick friend's case and, to his astonishment, Janice capitulates although not for long. However we do learn that her earlier abuse of Huey was intended to make him "act like a man" which, at last, he does. And, more than that, he (and the audience) become aware that, in the final essence, "the greatest and only success is to be able to love" a truth which emerges delightfully from the heartwarming, wonderfully antic and always imaginatively conceived action of the play.

    With an estimated word count of well over 700,000 words, the book is not an undertaking for the casual reader. The book can be a very tedious and boring read. This turns many people off from wanting to commit any time to understanding the foundational doctrine of Christianity. However, as atheists we really need to have at least a basic understanding of the Bible if we are going to make a judgment call about the religion. No matter which sect of Christianity someone subscribes to, the Bible is the foundation of Christian belief. This book is a mere 7,000 words to tell a slimmed down version of the basic story of the Bible. This book focused on the narrative rather than any underlying allegory or metaphor inherent in the narrative. The author attempts to challenge the notion of biblical literalism by showing that the story in its most basic form is simply too fantastic for any rational person to believe.

    Very funny and heartbreaking.' Davina McCallFrom one of Britain’s most popular and prolific comedians comes a hilarious and deeply moving memoir of life lived under the rule of a Silverback dad.The Silverback is considered the undisputed king, a creature whose authority is never challenged and who does not yield to compromise. He walks proudly, feeds greedily, grafts tirelessly, mates voraciously, swears constantly and is threatened all too easily. The Silverback is known to nestle in the misty peaks of central Africa but can also be found in Barking, Essex. Meet Dave Kane, the disappointed, steroid-ingesting, metal-wielding, bouncer father of slight, effete Gamma Male, Russell Kane.SON OF A SILVERBACK is a story about fathers and sons, class and education and how one scrawny, sensitive, fake-tan-applying 'ponce' stepped out of his father's shadow and became a man - whatever that means.

    What twisted, funny tales would it unleash upon the world?Each episode of Crackanory contains two 15-minute tales and is a master class in storytelling, combining some of the UK's best comedy writers and performers.Full author list: Nico Tatarowicz, Toby Davies, Kevin Eldon, Ali Crockatt, David Scott, Laurence Rickard, Jeremy Dyson, Simon Judd, Alex Carter and Holly WalshFull narrator list: Jack Dee, Sally Phillips, Rebecca Front, Kevin Eldon, Harry Enfield, Sarah Solemani, Sharon Horgan, Charlie Higson, Richard Hammond and Jessica Hynes.

    All 97 counties of it! Surely it can't be as bad as everyone tells him. After twenty years living abroad, he thinks the time is right to search his homeland for the best of British using new eyes, those of a foreign tourist, and in the only way he knows how – by bicycle. Armed with a list of recommendations gathered from friends and strangers alike and the most spontaneous of routes, he pedals 5,000 miles through damp English country lanes, soggy Welsh moorland and windswept Scottish mountains. He gets wet quite often. Following on from the success and irreverent style of both No Place Like Home, Thank God and Hungry for Miles, Steven seeks out the quirky in the people he meets, the places he visits and the food he eats. Can his initial store of positivity survive the journey, or will it be ground down by the traffic, the weather and his British, vegetable-free diet of beer, pies and pork scratchings? In this, Book 1, The Journey South, Steven travels from Merseyside to Warwickshire, through the whole of Wales, the West Country, the south coast and to London. Armed with a bag of googly eyes, he meets a poetry-prescribing nurse, stumbles across Hilda Ogden's lawnmower, has his footwear stolen by foxes, discovers some very special Mexican fleas, crashes the TARDIS and visits dozens of British capitals, including its infidelity capital, its boob job capital and its dogging capital. He experiences "real" Britain – the good and the bad – its Morris dancers, pie 'n' mash and the pinnacle of British culture, a good old-fashioned street fight. The concluding part, The Journey North, covering the east of England, Scotland and the north-west of England will be available in Summer 2017.

    But a young German soon helps her to forget her sorrows. Until, with war looming, he must return home and Gaynor is left heartbroken once more. And when her parents discover she's pregnant and insist she cannot keep the child, Gaynor runs away to Cardiff. Penniless and alone in a strange city she is forced to give birth in the workhouse. But shortly afterwards she is taken in by a friendly Spanish family who care for her and little Sara. And she quickly falls for the charms of the eldest son. But just when she thought she'd found love and a chance of happiness at last, a telegram shatters her dreams...

    A farce with a hilarious drunk scene for two stylish comediennes.