Dancing with a Porcupine: Parenting wounded children without losing your self


Jennie Lynn Owens - 2019
    So what do you do when you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or has extra challenges? You often feel alone and inadequate. You want so much to help your child, but you are at the end of your own rope. You feel guilty that sometimes you want to just quit.What can you do -- how can you make it through the day -- how can you help your child while also taking care of yourself?Maybe someone you love is parenting a traumatized child. Or perhaps you are a social worker, counselor, or other professional who sees families like these every day. You want to know how to better help them.In Dancing with a Porcupine, Jennie Owens shares with humor and raw honesty the compelling story of her struggle to save her own life while caring for three children she and her husband adopted from foster care. How could she stay loving, giving, and forgiving in the midst of a daily battle with children acting out the rage, resentment, and pain of their own traumatic pasts?When faith, endurance, and creativity are not enough, what's next?

The Lies That Bind: An Adoptee's Journey Through Rejection, Redirection, DNA, and Discovery


Laureen Pittman - 2019
     Born in a California women’s prison in 1963, Laureen Pittman was relinquished for adoption. As a child, Laureen was conditioned to believe that being adopted didn’t matter. So, it didn’t . . . until it did. Through scraps of information, Laureen stitched together her history – one that started in the psychedelic sixties and ended up in a future where DNA could solve mysteries. She never imagined that spitting into a plastic tube, along with painstaking research and the explosion of technology would reveal the answers to her identity. Laureen’s tale is for anyone who has ever questioned who they are, where they came from, or how they fit in. Her journey to find her truth illustrates the strength and power of our need for connection, belonging, and healing through knowledge. What people are saying about The Lies That Bind "Pittman walks, with grace and wisdom, through the uncharted and difficult territory, where she uncovers secrets long buried and finds those who embrace one another as a family. Hers is a story of resilience and tenacity. It is about the peace that comes when we are in the shadows no more, and it will inspire others on their own healing path." ~ Linda Hoye, Author of Two Hearts: An Adoptee’s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude "Laureen’s tale from the point of view of an adoptee is one of incredible bravery and courage. Her beautiful voice echoes through the pages with pain and joy, disappointment and redemption. No matter if you have been involved in adoption directly or not, there is beauty to be found in this heart-wrenching book." ~ From the Foreword by Angie Martin, Bestselling & Award-winning author of Conduit and Chrysalis

One Small Boat: The Story of a Little Girl, Lost Then Found


Kathy Harrison - 2006
     Augusten Burroughs called Kathy Harrison's memoir Another Place at the Table a "riveting and profoundly moving story of a hero, disguised as an everyday woman." In One Small Boat, Harrison tells the story of one little girl who arrived on her doorstep, and describes how caring for this child was an experience that challenged everything she thought she knew about foster-care parenting and the needs of the children she shelters. Daisy was five when she arrived in Harrison's bustling home. Mother of three children by birth and three by adoption, and with a handful of foster kids always coming and going, Harrison had ten children under her roof at any given time. But Daisy was in many ways unique. Daisy's birth mother wasn't poor, uneducated, or drug addicted. She simply couldn't bring herself to take care of her little girl, and the effects on the child were heartrending. Daisy was unwilling to eat-even frightened of it-and seemed to have a severe speech impediment. After two weeks in Kathy's loving home, however, Daisy began to thrive. What had happened to her? And how can a foster-care parent give back all that has been taken from a child like Daisy-knowing that she might leave one day very soon? Harrison had seen many children pass through her doors, but this one touched her in a way she didn't immediately understand. One Small Boat will be of deep interest to anyone who has nurtured and cared for a child or anyone interested in the intricate web that is our social welfare system.

You Don't Look Adopted: A memoir


Anne Heffron - 2016
    It's a wonderful thing to be chosen, to be brought up by loving parents, but in order for this to happen, there has to be an initial abandonment, and this loss can settle like a seed of unease in the adopted person, quite possibly affecting the entirety of his or her life. Anne Heffron, who'd been adopted at ten weeks old, embarked on a three-month journey she called "Write or Die", leaving California for her birth place, New York City, in order to do the one thing she'd been unable to do her entire adult life: tell her own story, and not the one she'd heard all her life that began, "The day we got you." You Don't Look Adopted is an intimate look at what it means for an adopted person to live in the world as someone who was both chosen and given away.

20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed


Sherrie Eldridge - 2009
    In this all-new companion volume, Eldridge goes beyond those insights and shifts her focus to parents, offering them much-needed encouragement and hope.Speaking from her own experience as an adoptee and an expert in the field of adoption, Eldridge shares proven strategies and the moving narratives of nearly one hundred adoptive families, helping parents gain a deeper understanding of what is normal, both for their children and themselves. By first strengthening yourself as a parent, you’ll be able to truly listen to your child, and to connect with him on every level, by opening the channels of communication and keeping them open forever. Then you and your child can grow closer through the practical exercises at the end of every chapter. Discover how to• be confident that your role in your child’s life is vital and irreplaceable• pass on the legacy of healthy self-care by assessing and regulating your stress • communicate unconditional love to your child• talk candidly with your child about her adoption and her birth family• teach your family how to respond positively to insensitive remarks about adoption• connect with other adoptive families–and build a support network• plus learn to become a “warrior” parent…settle the “real parent” question…cope with emotional triggers–what to do when you “lose it” . . . celebrate the miracle of your family…and much moreFrom the Trade Paperback edition.

Family Medical History: Unknown/Adopted: How One Inquiry Led to Many Unexpected Discoveries


Nancy Kacirek Feldman - 2014
    They would ask her about her family’s health history, and she would hear the doctor’s familiar sigh after she answered, “I don’t know, I’m adopted.”Being perfectly happy with the loving family she had, Feldman never took an interest in finding her biological parents until diagnosed with a disease that she passed on to her son. Suddenly, Nancy’s lack of family history was affecting someone else.Writing to the Nebraska Children’s Home Society for help, the adoption agency assigned Nancy’s case to Rebecca Crofoot. This began a 17-year journey between the two women who were determined to find information about a family that might not know, or want to know, Nancy existed.Family Medical History: Unknown/Adopted is a heart-warming story of personal, medical, genealogical and emotional discovery.

Welcome to the Rollercoaster


D.D. Foster - 2014
    They have come together to share their personal stories in order to provide a glimpse into the real world of foster care. Though many of their journeys have been difficult, these ladies will inspire you with their stories of love, loss, and healing.

Waking Mathilda: A Memoir of Childhood Narcolepsy


Claire Crisp - 2017
    Then came the H1N1 flu pandemic of 2009. It took only vaccine—one seemingly innocuous vaccine to Mathilda, the baby of the family—to change their lives forever. Diagnosed at age three as the world's youngest child with narcolepsy, the joyful and energetic Mathilda rapidly dissolved into someone unrecognizable. In this compelling narrative, Claire Crisp chronicles the fight for Mathilda's treatment. Leaving their family and country in England, the Crisps begin a new journey—one of faith, of loss, and of love as immigrants to the western shores of the United States.

In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories


Rita J. Simon - 2000
    In this collection of interviews conducted with black and biracial young adults who were adopted by white parents, the authors present the personal stories of two dozen individuals who hail from a wide range of religious, economic, political, and professional backgrounds. How does the experience affect their racial and social identities, their choice of friends and marital partners, and their lifestyles? In addition to interviews, the book includes overviews of both the history and current legal status of transracial adoption.

Redefining Normal


Justin Black - 2020
    Together, they are building forever. Alexis Black persevered through her mother’s death and her father’s imprisonment. And after escaping a long and abusive relationship, the college junior promised her foster parents not to date for at least a year. But when she meets an incoming freshman on the first day of their scholarship program, she feels the world melt away, as though it were only the two of them in the room. Justin Black lived in abandoned houses before going through the child welfare system. But when he grabs the chance for better opportunities by pursuing higher education, he can’t help but be drawn to a beautiful third-year student. Recognizing a fellow survivor, he cherishes the ease of their deep conversations and her wonderful moments of raw vulnerability that makes him fall hard. In a stark and wholehearted true story that shares how two individuals on separate paths found each other, Alexis and Justin merge their course into one full of hope and purpose. And hand-in-hand, they learn to communicate effectively and avoid patterns of trauma to intentionally break the cycle of unhealthy behaviors. Written in an engaging novelistic style, the authors put forward a thoughtful exchange of ideas and personal experiences illustrating how anybody, no matter their backgrounds, can have a life of self-empowerment and joy. Broken down into four sections that cover crucial topics such as “Worthiness” and “Mental Health,” this compelling narrative will help any who are learning to love themselves and want to end the line of toxic relationships. Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovering Healing, Happiness, and Love is a page-turning memoir that will open your eyes to possibilities and dreams. If you like honest tales of triumph, refreshing transparency, and resilient faith in God, then you’ll adore Justin Black and Alexis Black’s inspirational autobiography. This story contains mentions of domestic violence, trauma, sexual assault, and other difficult issues faced on the road to healing.

The Girl No One Wanted


Maggie Hartley - 2017
    Violent and disruptive, no foster carer could cope with Leanne's behaviour. Can Maggie Hartley succeed where so many others failed? Perfect for fans of Cathy Glass, Casey Watson, Angela Hart and Rosie Lewis.***** A TRUE SHORT STORY BY THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR MAGGIE HARTLEYEleven-year-old Leanne is out of control.Since being taken into care at the age of three, she has had over forty placements, each carer less able to cope with her anger and destruction than the last.Late one night, foster carer Maggie Hartley receives a terrified call from Leanne's current placement, who has barricaded herself in her bathroom to protect herself from Leanne's rage. With the police on standby, Maggie manages to diffuse the situation but Leanne is left without a home once more.Maggie is Leanne's only hope. But this is her last chance. If this placement fails, she will have to be put in a secure unit.Then Leanne threatens Maggie with a knife and makes accusations against her that have to be investigated by Maggie's superiors. Where most others would simply walk away, Maggie refuses to give up on the little girl who's never known love.Can Maggie get through to Leanne and begin to help her heal? Will the girl no one wanted find her forever home?A true short story by The Sunday Times bestselling foster carer Maggie Hartley. Perfect for fans of Cathy Glass, Casey Watson, Angela Hart and Rosie Lewis.

Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage


Kay Bratt - 2008
    As a volunteer at a local orphanage, Bratt witnessed conditions that were unfathomable to a middle-class mother of two from South Carolina.Based on Bratt's diary of her four years at the orphanage, Silent Tears offers a searing account of young lives rendered disposable. In the face of an implacable system, Bratt found ways to work within (and around) the rules to make a better future for the children, whom she came to love. The book offers no easy answers. While often painful in its clear-sightedness, Silent Tears balances the sadness and struggles of life in the orphanage with moments of joy, optimism, faith, and victory. It is the story of hundreds of children and of one woman who never planned on becoming a hero but became one anyway.

Like Rain on a Dry Place: A Birth Mother's Story


Wendy Salisbury Howe - 2016
    What is it like? It is the best gift you can ever imagine, like rain falling on a dry place.This memoir is a great reunion journey, from Paris, to California, to Denmark! A coming together of a mother and son, the only two people who can answer all the questions the other one has.

Two Little Girls: A Memoir of Adoption


Theresa Reid - 2006
    What was missing from their lives was children. But they knew in Eastern Europe, there were children who were missing parents-and they set out to find their family. This is Theresa's account of how Natalie and Lana came to be her daughters-a journey that takes readers not only to Moscow and Kiev but into the deepest parts of a mother's heart. Reid addresses the issues that arise for many an adoptive parent- including the guilt over taking children away from their roots, and the slow, stumbling steps toward trust and tenderness that played out between them. For any parent, adoptive or not, this book offers not only a compelling story but valuable insights into the transformative power of loving a child.

Faith to Foster


T.J. Menn - 2016
    Foster children live in nearly every community, waiting in silent anonymity for someone to welcome them into their life.Sometimes all it takes is exposure to prompt change.Faith to Foster is a candid and vulnerable look into the life of ordinary foster parents TJ and Jenn Menn. It is a comprehensive journey chronicling their decision making process, how the children arrived, the birth parents' struggle to rehabilitate, help from friends and family, emotional goodbyes, and how faith in Jesus empowered them through it all. This is a story they wished they'd read before starting their foster parenting adventure.TJ and Jenn share of their experiences and feelings in a way that encourages readers to serve their neighbors. Faith to Foster reminds Christians how God can use them to make a difference in their community. He can strengthen our congregations to change lives and redeem innocent children from harmful situations.Indeed, Faith to Foster inspires believers to rely on the mighty power of our God as they seek to change their neighborhoods one child at a time.