Born in Croydon in 1936, his early life was turbulent. His father left home and his mother committed suicide during the war leaving his formidable, but adored grandmother, to raise him, and it was she who gave him the title for this book. His big television break came with "Not So Much a Programme, More a Way of Life" with David Frost, John Bird and John Fortune and he also had a brief stint in the popular TV soap "Coronation Street". His radio career includes the hugely popular "The News Huddlines", which he starred in and ran for twenty-six years. "A Fart in a Colander" brings together some wonderful stories from his life, and sparkles with the fun and laughter Roy has brought to millions of people throughout his career.

    There smuggling, bribes, and a wild-west live-free-or-die attitude prevails and an eye-for-an-eye is the preferred method of retribution. For Zenaida, a child of the Rim, the death of her father requires retribution. But she must first learn how to survive while trying to track down her snow leopard's stolen litter and her father's killers. But unknown to her, her father's killers spared her for a reason—a secret that could mean her death if she discovers it.

     Last week I had an IQ so low that I sometimes forgot how to get home, and could barely stumble through sentences. This week I am the owner of the most advanced space station in the known universe and I wield powers that can alter reality itself. If I have the energy that my power is dependent upon... You see I get more energy every day, it's a set amount. I can stockpile it or burn it all up on one giant "upgrade" as I like to call it. This power comes from one of the wishes I made, yes, on a magical genie's lamp. I know that sounds crazy. So what do a Viking woman from 800AD, a U.S. Army combat veteran, and a fat gaming nerd have in common? Well, they're my team, and if I can save up enough energy I can use my new power to give them superpowers of their own. That's the plan at least. The problem with my plan is that I have some shadow organization looking for me. They'll kill me, my family, my friends, and everyone I have ever loved to get the lamp. What do they want? As far as I can tell they want to rewrite our universe into some kind of communist paradise where freewill comes second to safety and the government. I have to find some way to keep the lamp from the organization going after it that involves more than just hiding up in my space station. I refuse to be a hermit coward. I also have an ingrained need to help people, and now I have the power to do that. I have more resources at my disposal than any law enforcement agency on earth, and a team of people willing to help me. I want to be a hero, but I have no idea what I'm doing. Did I mention I was a barely functioning idiot last week? Content Warning: This book contains foul language, mild gore, and fictional politics.

    When his friend, Austin, a crafter, joins him for the first time in search of the vast amounts of ore and treasure in the Underground, a climactic series of events is set into motion. There is something below the Underground though, and Austin is sure that the world’s strongest materials are there for the taking. But so too are some of the world’s most dangerous creatures, legendary items, and magical secrets. Cave-ins, explosive detonations, massive spiders, and the undead—these are all common problems for Vincent and his team of miners and crafters. Join them as they strategically battle new threats, enchant their gear with new power, and explore caves flowing with lava and teeming with darkness incarnate. Author's Note: This short story is for your reading pleasure. The characters in this "Minecraft Adventure Series" such as Steve, Endermen, Herobrine or Obsidian...etc are based on the Minecraft Game. Minecraft Adventure Series *Book 2* http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K7ZT7WA/ *Book 3* http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K804RL0/

     With the weight of his conscience growing by the mission and a fiancee who makes him want to be a better man, Carl Ramsey decides to try his hand at being one of the good guys. But there's a long line of enemies who won't forget so easily. Mission 13: Mission Inadvisable The Mobius crew gets a job offer so vile they not only turn it down, they set out to stop the secretive crime lord doing the hiring. Along the way, they manage to accidentally double-cross an old friend. Sometimes, no matter what you try, you're destined to be on the wrong side of the law. Mission 14: Moral and Orbital Decay Mort's son is on the run from the Convocation. He's fled to a remote mining station and looking for a quick ride from his father's old crew. But when magic gets out of hand, suddenly everyone's more concerned about stopping the space station from crashing into a planet than finding a fugitive. Mission 15: Planet Hustlers Pirates capture the stunnji homeworld, and Rai Kub's people turn to Carl Ramsey to find a way to convince them to leave. Carl's plan? A lot of fast talking, subterfuge, and the crookedest game of poker ever played. The stakes: the fate of a refugee planet. Mission 16: Eternity or Bust When your bride-to-be makes a simple request, a smart man makes it happen. When your outlaw fiancee wants her wedding on Earth, where most of the galaxy's top law enforcement agencies are headquartered, it's going to take bribery, back room deals, and ratting out some old associates. But Carl won't be able to live with himself unless he gets his friends out of the jam he puts them in. Bonus Short Story: For Old Time's Sake With retirement in full force, the crew of the Mobius take on a decidedly low-key villain: the interlopers who're looking to ruin their gig hustling simulator combat for free meals.

    Raised by a master assassin then barely escaping with his life after a betrayal by his own guild, he finds himself with a new mission and a chance to start a new life in a far away land. Will he survive this new school of magic? Can he, with the help of some new friends, find a way to heal from the past? Will this place prove to be too much of a challenge for this boy, this weapon?

    A young Hunter. A vow of vengeance. Sah Lee survives the assault that destroys her planet. Can she survive the hostile alien army she joins to get her revenge? Hunter, Warrior, Commander is a military space opera. If you like characters that you can get to know and care about, alien armies, intense upfront and personal action and a story that you won’t want to put down, then you’ll love this. Are you ready for a sleeples night? You won't want to put this down! Hunter, Warrior, Commander is a standalone book set in the People’s universe, introduced in Unwilling From Earth by the same author.

    She may be smart enough to create a battery that never needs charging, but can she outmaneuver those who don't share her vision of community and create something that really lasts? How far is Alex willing to go to achieve her goal? Accessibility featured: All graphics and illustrations have detailed descriptions in their alt-text so if you are reading using voiceover, you will not miss anything.

     Eric has been reprogrammed by the Banthar to lead the invasion against Earth. Trapped in his machine body, he has full conscious awareness but no actual control as he is forced to watch humankind enslaved at his own hands. There is a small chance Eric could break free of the alien control, but at a terrible price: because he is so intricately linked with the invading force, his freedom could lead to Earth’s final destruction. What do you do when the only way to escape is to destroy all of your friends, and everything you ever loved? Download the explosive conclusion to the Bolt Eater trilogy and find out.

    Simon's self-sufficient rural life is an inspiration to us all' - Ben Fogle Following a drunken misunderstanding Simon Dawson gave up his job in the city, moved to the wilds of Exmoor and became an accidental self-sufficient smallholder with an array of animals. But that was years ago now. Following up on his first book, PIGS IN CLOVER, this is the story of what happens when he suddenly realises that his life is changing all over again. He's not quite the spring chicken that he used to be: he is, horror of horrors, getting older.With a cast of best friends (some more helpful than others) including Ziggy, a panicked soon-to-be father desperate to grow up, Garth, an annoying teenager, and a rather handsome pig called The General, a plan is hatched to help each other mature (or immature). Heartfelt discoveries and hilarious endeavours ensue as they work through their age-related angsts, all with a fair dose of pigs, chickens, lambs and animal madness along the way. This is Exmoor's uplifting laugh-out-loud antidote to middle age in the mud; a place where you truly realise that the sty's the limit!

    Nothing else going on. No girlfriend meeting his father for the first time. No recused sister back in his life after having been missing for a decade. No other sister married to a werecoyote gangster with a freshly born grandchild to show off. Especially no vampires. I promise. THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (released) Book 6.5 - "Assault on Dread Fortress Paine" (released) Book 6.75 - "The Glassbreaker Goes Home" (released) Book 7 - "The Foul Mouth and the Runaway Rumble" (forthcoming)

    Responding to the crash, the primitive earthlings discover the ship's commander Valerie Dunne is a 5,000-year-old woman from the future, forced to escape her nemesis, the Boecki, by hiding in the past. Soon they learn the fate of the future world now rests on this strange woman's ability to harness five Hesaurun rings - rings with the power to destroy, heal, and manipulate time - and somehow, to find a way to alter her own destiny.An epic Sci-Fi tale of good and evil, rescue and survival, betrayal and love, and a threat to mankind unlike anything the human race has ever faced, The Rings of Hesaurun: Book One burns with the scope and imagination of the greatest Fantasy novels of the golden age. Weaving in a huge cast of humans and aliens, Peter Harrett has crafted a galaxy for readers of the 21st century to believe in...immense, ancient, and mind-bending.

    

    Silent. Deadly… Hunted.Recon Marine Conor McCall didn’t expect action during his training op in the icy waters off Norway. But when a bizarre summer fog engulfed his boat, he and his team found themselves in a pitched fight against strange, cruel monsters emerging from the coastal depths of the North Sea.That was just the beginning.Stranded in a barren land of mountains, glaciers, and black pines, far from home and unable to contact the world they came from, the Marines must prepare for war against murderous barbarians, wicked sorcerers, and foul creatures summoned from the oldest, deepest, and darkest pits of hell.When even their allies are enemies, the Recon Marines must do what they have always done: adapt or die. But with a world of ice and monsters seeking to destroy them, every second is mission-critical.

    Sarah Holloway, share her Nanotechnology breakthroughs to help him lose two hundred pounds. Sarah refuses him saying that it's too dangerous! Her Nanites are designed to improve women's health and are not for men. Rodney arranges a theft from her lab and procures a dose for himself. He swallows the Nanites and as he loses weight, he also begins to radically change. After the Nanites make Rodney a perfect specimen, he faces a new set of challenges AS A WOMAN!