UNIMPRESSED. AND TOTALLY UNDEAD.Eric's got issues. He has short-term and long-term memory problems; he can't remember who he ate for dinner yesterday, much less how he became a vampire in the first place. His best friend, Roger, is souring on the strip club he and Eric own together, and his girlfriend, Tabitha, keeps pressuring him to turn her so she can join him in undeath. It's almost enough to put a Vlad off his appetite. Almost.Eric tries to solve one problem, only to create another: he turns Tabitha into a vampire, but finds that once he does, his desire for her fades—and her younger sister, Rachel, sure is cute. When he kills a werewolf in self-defense, things really get out of hand. Now a pack of born-again lycanthropes is out for holy retribution, while Tabitha and Rachel have their own agendas—which may or may not include helping Eric stay in one piece. All Eric wants to do is run his strip club, drink a little blood, and be left alone. Instead, he must survive car crashes, enchanted bullets, sunlight, sex magic, and werewolves on ice—not to mention his own nasty temper and forgetfulness.Because being undead isn't easy, but it sure beats the alternative.

    My boss is Vayl, born in Romania in 1744. Died there too, at the hand of his vampire wife, Liliana. But that's ancient history. For the moment Vayl works for the C.I.A. doing what he does best -- assassination. And I help. You could say I'm an Assistant Assassin. But then I'd have to kick your ass.Our current assignment seemed easy. Get close to a Miami plastic surgeon named Assan, a charmer with ties to terrorism that run deeper than a buried body. Find out what he's meeting with that can help him and his comrades bring America to her knees. And then close his beady little eyes forever. Why is it that nothing's ever as easy as it seems?

    What is his real mission and will his Aunt Archangelica approve of his treatment of her cat?In this short story, New York Times Bestselling Author Gail Carriger uses her comedic voice to delve into the history of one of her most beloved characters. If you have ever wondered about Alexia's father, this will give you a glimpse into his adventures and character.This story was first published in The Book of the Dead, a Jurassic London anthology.

    Includes new stories by Larry Correia and Jim Butcher! Come visit the Old West, the land where gang initiations, ride-by shootings and territory disputes got their start. But these tales aren't the ones your grandpappy spun around a campfire, unless he spoke of soul-sucking ghosts, steam-powered demons, and wayward aliens. Here then are seventeen stories that breathe new life in the Old West. Among them: Larry Correia explores the roots of his best-selling Monster Hunter International series in "Bubba Shackleford's Professional Monster Killers." Jim Butcher reveals the origin of one of the Dresden Files' most popular characters in "A Fistful of Warlocks." And Kevin J. Anderson's Dan Shamble, Zombie P.I., finds himself in a showdown in "High Midnight." Plus stories from Alan Dean Foster, Sarah A. Hoyt, Jody Lynn Nye, Michael A. Stackpole, and many more. This is a new Old West and you ll be lucky to get outta town alive! Contributors: David Boop Larry Correia Jody Lynn Nye Sam Knight Robert E. Vardeman Phil Foglio Nicole Kurtz Michael A. Stackpole Bryan Thomas Schmidt & Ken Scholes Maurice Broaddus Sarah A. Hoyt Alan Dean Foster David Lee Summers Kevin J. Anderson Naomi Brett Rourke Julie Campbell Peter J. Wacks Jim Butcher"