Book picks similar to
The Princess & the Penis by R.J. Silver
fantasy
humor
romance
short-stories
The Witch Sea
Sarah Diemer - 2012
Upon the distant shore prowls an ancient sea god kept captive by a generations-old spell, a spell that Meriel alone must protect.Meriel's life has been lonely and unchanging--until the arrival of Nor. Nor's shape is that of a woman, but her heart belongs to the sea. Even though Nor is also held captive by Meriel's spell, she shows kindness to the isolated witch. Nor sparks a passion within Meriel, defying every law that binds them both.This award-winning short story ("The Witch Sea" won first place in the "Kissed by Venus" Fresh Voices short story competition) is a dark fantasy tale of love, loss and the price of freedom.
The Merman's Kiss
Tamsin Ley - 2017
Instead, she falls into the arms of a sexy, sleek-tailed monster. He’s wild, seductive, and sets her blood on fire every time he touches her, and soon she begins to need him for more than his magic to breathe underwater. He might just give her a new reason to live.Zantu has evaded the mate-bond for thirty-five years, dodging promiscuous mermaids with vile intents. Unlike mermaids, mermen bond for life, and Zantu refuses to accept the heartbreak most mermen die of. That is, until the glint of gold catches his eye, and a simple salvage mission turns to passion. Now he’s bonded to a human, and begins to wonder if bonding to the right mate might not be so bad. The problem? A finless female won’t live long among the dangers of the sea.Now Zantu must choose between keeping her at his side, and keeping her safe. Either way, he’s sure he’ll end up with a broken heart.Content Warning: Explicit love scenes, dangerous mermaids, and sexy merman secrets. Guaranteed HEA with no cliffhangers. Intended for mature audiences.
Black Silk
Jan Gordon - 2009
Her future looked set, until one night when she's saved from probable danger by a mysterious stranger. Cole has moved around a lot during his life, never finding a true home, until he buys an old house, and fate steps in to change his future. A light romance with a paranormal twist.
First Night
Lauren Blakely - 2013
That escape comes in the form of sexy, confident and commanding Clay Nichols, who captivates her mind AND turns her inside out with pleasure. The attraction is electric and they share one scorchingly hot night together, but they also discover there is more than just off-the-charts chemistry; the connection between them runs deep. Clay never thought he’d return to New York with this woman still on his mind. But he can’t get her out of his system, and he needs more of her…He wants more than just the first night…*This is a prequel novella to the erotic romance NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.*
Lumberjack in Love
Penny Watson - 2012
The last thing she needs is a sexy, bearded lumberjack complicating her life. Tree house builder, environmental champion, and Bulldog owner Marcus Anderson has no patience for flatlanders with an attitude. But when landscape designer Ami Jordan shows up at his log cabin, he suddenly develops a hankering for a high-maintenance city gal. Now his house looks like a jungle, his recycling is in disarray, and his libido's on fire.He's a lumberjack in love.Free Epilogue available for download: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwxA...
The Bone Knife
Intisar Khanani - 2012
Born with a deformed foot, she feigns indifference to the pity and insults that come her way. Wary of all things beautiful, Rae instantly distrusts their latest visitor: an appallingly attractive faerie. Further, his presence imperils the secret her sister guards. But when the local townspeople show up demanding his blood, Rae must find a way to protect both her sister’s secret and their guest. Even if that means risking herself.The Bone Knife introduces Rae, the heroine of The Theft Of Sunlight (March 2021). Look for The Bone Knife at the back of your copy of Thorn (HarperTeen/Hot Key 2020).
My Soul to Lose
Rachel Vincent - 2009
Then the panic attack started and Kaylee Cavanaugh finds herself screaming, unable to stop. Her secret fears are exposed and it's the worst day of her life.Until she wakes up in the psychiatric unit.She tries to convince everyone she's fine--despite the shadows she sees forming around another patient and the urge to scream which comes burbling up again and again. Everyone thinks she's crazy. Everyone except Lydia, that is. Another patient with some special abilities...."An eBook exclusive prequel to Rachel Vincent's SOUL SCREAMERS series."
Make Mine Midnight
Annmarie McKenna - 2009
The party is rockin, and Claire is in her usual spot holding up the wall. It's all right. She's much happier scribbling in her trusty little notebook than mingling. Especially since those notes turn into the sexy erotic romances she pens in secret. Those two gorgeous gods across the room are perfect hero material and oh dear, are they headed her way?Mason and Hunter know she won't remember them as the scrawny geeks they were in high school. She also doesn't know they've been lusting after her for ten long years, waiting for her to meet a man and have a normal relationship. They're through waiting. The time has come to make their move and show her exactly how much they've changed.One night in the middle of a Mason/Hunter manwich, and Claire has enough research material to fill a hundred notebooks. Good thing she's got OfficeMax on speed dial to order more. Except suddenly her two hunks have this crazy idea that keeping her is selfish. Selfish? She may be mousy, but this mouse is about to roar "
The Theory of Attraction
Delphine Dryden - 2012
She relishes each glimpse of his shirtless abs, and is dying to see more. But it's hard to connect with a man who doesn't seem to know she exists...Ivan feels at home in the lab, not in social situations. When he finally approaches his attractive neighbor, it's not for a date—he wants tutoring in how to behave at an important fundraiser. Ivan doesn't expect the chemistry between them to be quite so explosive, and is surprised when Cami actually accepts his proposal to embark on a series of "lessons."Cami soon discovers Ivan's schedule isn't the only thing he likes to be strict about—he needs to be charge in the bedroom as well. She's shocked at how much she comes to enjoy her submissive side, but wonders if a real relationship is in the equation...
The Frog Prince
Elle Lothlorien - 2010
Sort of."It was his pheromones that did it. With one sniff, sex researcher Leigh Fromm recognizes that any offspring she might have with the mysterious stranger would have a better-than-average chance of surviving any number of impending pandemics.But when Leigh finds out that the handsome “someone” at her great aunt’s wake is Prince Roman Habsburg von Lorraine of Austria, she suddenly doubts her instincts—not that she was intending to sleep with the guy. The royal house of Habsburg was once completely inbred, insanity and impotency among the highlights of their genetic pedigree. (The extreme “bulldog underbite” that plagued them wasn’t called the Habsburg Jaw for nothing.)It doesn’t matter that his family hasn’t sat on a throne (other than the ones in their Toilette) since 1918, or that Austria is now a parliamentary democracy. Their lives couldn’t be more different: Roman is routinely mobbed by paparazzi in Europe. Leigh is regularly mocked for having the social skills of a potted plant. Even if she suddenly developed grace, charm and a pedigree that would withstand the scrutiny of the press and his family, what exactly is she supposed to do with this would-have-been king of Austria who is in self-imposed exile in Denver, Colorado?
Bound to Submit
Laura Kaye - 2016
Twelve Masters. Infinite fantasies. Welcome to Blasphemy...He thinks he caused her pain, but she knows he’s the only one who can heal her…Kenna Sloane lost her career and her arm in the Marines, and now she feels like she’s losing herself. Submission is the only thing that ever freed her from pain and made her feel secure, and Kenna needs to serve again. Bad. The only problem is the Dom she wants once refused her submission and broke her heart, but, scarred on the inside and out, she’s not looking for love this time. She’s not even sure she’s capable.Griffin Hudson is haunted by the mistakes that cost him the only woman he ever loved. Now she’s back at his BDSM club, Blasphemy, and more beautiful than ever, and she’s asking for his help with the pain he knows he caused. Even though he’s scared to hurt her again, he can’t refuse her, because he’d give anything to earn a second chance. And this time, he’ll hold on forever.
Saying Yes
Barbara Elsborg - 2010
Now she’s determined to be a yes girl. Yes, she’d love to flat sit while the owner is away, but one look at the mess and she wishes she’d said no.No is the last thing Tristan expects to hear when he proposes in front of his girlfriend’s family. Humiliated, he hides out in his brother’s empty flat without asking because he really doesn't want to hear another no.What he needs is a woman who’ll say yes...yes...yes... Could that be Zadie?
Taming the Vampire
Chloe Hart - 2011
But when a powerful enemy threatens their beloved city of Boston, they form a reluctant alliance. It's supposed to be temporary--just one night, in fact. But as the tension between them builds to the breaking point, neither is prepared for what happens next.Taming the Vampire is a sexy paranormal romance novella of 17,000 words, or about 60 pages. It's the first book in the Blood and Absinthe series.The Blood and Absinthe series:Book 1 - Taming the Vampire (a novella)Book 2 - Bound by the Vampire (a novella)Book 3 - Claiming the Vampire (a full-length novel)Book 4 - Drawn to the Vampire (a full-length novel)Book 5 - Caught by the Wolf (coming in 2014!)EXCERPT"I'll stay on one condition," he said.Her heart thumped against her ribs. "What?""We'll do the ritual, but on my terms."She wished he wasn't so tall. It gave him an unfair advantage, being able to tower over her like this. It was hard to breathe, hard to-- "What do you mean, your terms?""Do you want to know a secret?"Her blood was rushing in her ears. She couldn't speak.He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her hard against him. She gasped, as shocked as if she'd stepped into icy water. She felt his strength, his power, and for a second her own power seemed to desert her. He bent his head close to hers. "I want you," he whispered.Her face flamed, like a teenager's."I've wanted you from the first moment I saw you," he said, and now his lips were on her throat, at her pulse point, against her collar bone.She opened her mouth but no words came out. Her eyes closed and her head went back, and he kissed his way up her throat, to her ear, and then he was whispering to her again."I can make you feel good, Liz. Better than anyone's ever made you feel."
Among the Nameless Stars
Diana Peterfreund - 2012
But the journey was not an easy one.Featuring narrow escapes, thrilling boat races and at least one deadly volcanic wasteland.
Red & Wolfe, Part One
Ella James - 2014
Worse than that? She's broke. Her boyfriend recently left her, so she's stuck paying her hefty apartment rent alone. After two months unemployed, there's no money left. With no immediate family to turn to, Red reaches out to her estranged grandmother, a reclusive writer living on an island off the coast of Charleston. Several days later, Red receives $30,000 and an invitation to visit. James Wolfe is not Red's grandmother - but he's the only person waiting for her at the boat dock. Red has something he needs. He won't take "no" for an answer, and he doesn't mind screwing her over to get it. He lost his conscience six years ago, when he went off the grid. Since then, life is about him - and the renowned oil paintings he does under the mysterious pseudonym "W." Until the moment he sees her. Then Red is all he wants. And Wolfe will have her - any way he can. * This story is the first of three serials about Red & Wolfe. Red & Wolfe Part I was originally published in The BEND Anthology, a collection of stories from the authors of The Erotica Consortium.