Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    He’s had a bad year. Sarah, his wife of nearly twenty five years, has walked out on him to move in with Colin. Perhaps they simply grew apart, perhaps the magic was no longer there, or perhaps, as his friend Jerry suggests, Rick has become boring. This nagging thought, together with too much beer on New Year’s Eve and shock at the sudden death of his college friend Alex, leads Rick to a New Year’s resolution… To make the most of the time he has left, and show himself and his old friend Jerry that he is not boring, he will undertake a peculiar challenge: for a whole year he will accept every invitation that comes his way. Any invitation. No excuses. No regrets.

    But when two faces from his old gang turn up, he finds himself getting involved in a new scam, and soon he is embroiled in a world he wants to escape and is forced to confront a man who is dangerously unhinged.

    Each is bound by high ideals and a resolute ambition to change the world . . . but unable to anticipate the dramatic events that will bring them back together.Each Sunday, Pastor Pat Preston stands behind the pulpit of his Nashville megachurch, hoping to change the world by proclaiming biblical truth.Newly appointed U.S. Assistant Attorney General John Knox Smith is out to change the world one arrest at a time. He is determined to mandate equality and wipe out intolerance by criminalizing hate speech. And he will prosecute anyone who discriminates against the new legal classes of people he has helped create . . . even Pat Preston.Standing between them is their friend Matt Branson, who now works in the Justice Department.Aided by the Alliance, a legal organization dedicated to defending religious freedom, Pastor Pat fights to hold onto his faith, his family--and his mind.Can Pastor Pat and religious freedom survive this frightening world John Knox Smith is working to create?

    Only two little girls know where he is but they’re too scared to tell. Time is running out for the policeman. Will the girls get help before it’s too late? Piggy Monk Square is a dark yet frequently very funny novel set in 1970's Liverpool. The action takes place in the volatile period before the Toxteth riots burned much of the inner city down. A BRITISH THRILLER This unusual yet very readable British thriller describes a world tainted with deep mistrust and hostility between the local people and the police force. This harsh world is viewed through the eyes of a nine-year-old girl, Rebecca. Rebecca’s world is changing. Her parents are fighting. Her teachers are cruel. She doesn’t know what to do and turns to her best friend Debbie more and more. But Debbie’s life is just as tough. With a father who is always dodging the police, and a mother who works her to the bone, Debbie is no Cinderella. The world these girls inhabit is no fairy tale, it is confusing and can be brutally violent. A TERRIFYING SECRET No wonder the girls mix reality with fantasy - it’s how they survive, especially when it comes to coping with what will soon become their terrifying secret. A secret that will infuse their childhood with fear and change their lives forever. The nightmare begins when Rebecca and Debbie are playing in the cellar of a derelict house. A policeman catches them there and warns them not to return to this dangerous old building. But they are both determined little girls with nowhere else to play, so they come back, again and again. Unfortunately for them so does the policeman. The policeman tries to chase the girls away, but he falls down a ladder and goes ‘asleep.’ The girls try to wake him but can’t. They want to get help but at the same time they know they shouldn’t have been playing in that cellar. They have learned not to trust the police and are so afraid of getting into trouble that they leave the injured policeman alone. NOWHERE TO TURN Wishful thinking makes the girls hope that he will get up and go of his own accord and that everything will be okay again. But when they return and find him still there, conscious but unable to move they find another way to help him. A way that doesn’t involve adults. But, their interpretation of ‘helping’ the dying policeman has terrible consequences for them all.

    The boundaries between what is real and what is fantasy are dissolving to increasingly dangerous effect. And then he falls in love with Alice . . .WHAT HAPPENS NOW is a mesmerizing story about love, fear and faith. Atmospheric, suspenseful and spiked with black humour, it confirms Jeremy Dyson as one of the most exciting and original writers of his generation.

    It’s the late eighties in Long Island, New York, and eighteen-year-old Harlan Kessler plays in a band, parties with friends, and struggles with a family that offers anything but a Kodak moment. The one ray of hope in Harlan’s life is Sarah DeRosa. With her by his side, Harlan just might make the right choices between love and aggression, intimacy and absence, finding himself and losing his mind. . . .

    Nothing, in short, to signify the deep change that each member of the Harrelson household will undergo. Parents Gene and Helen turn away from each other and look inward, losing themselves in private fantasies. Ten-year-old Crispy devises elaborate strategies for her escape from the suffocating clutch of the Harrelson home and into the waiting arms of pop star Marky Mark.But the heart of this family portrait is younger brother Stephen, who, along with his quirky and creative friend Nicole, crafts an alternative reality in which their comic book hero, Wolf Boy, battles the forces of evil, champions the powers of good, and fights to keep his family intact. Through Wolf Boy, Stephen finds an outlet for his grief and a concrete expression for his place in a family spiraling out of control and for all the natural yearnings and hopes of a typical thirteen-year-old. Wolf Boy’s adventures are featured throughout the book, introducing a graphic-novel subplot that adds humor and visual interest and stretches the limits of the conventional novel.With warmth, humor, hope, and empathy, Evan Kuhlman’s debut novel is truly unforgettable and signals a fresh new voice in today’s fiction.

    1 bestselling crime series featuring clinical psychologist Dr Tony Hill, hero of TV’s much loved WIRE IN THE BLOOD.THE MERMAIDS SINGINGUp till now, the only serial killers Tony Hill had encountered were safely behind bars. This one’s different – this one’s on the loose.Four men have been found mutilated and tortured. As fear grips the city, the police turn to clinical psychologist Tony Hill for a profile of the killer. But soon Tony becomes the unsuspecting target in a battle of wits and wills where he has to use every ounce of his professional nerve to survive.THE WIRE IN THE BLOODYoung girls are disappearing around the country, and there is nothing to connect them to one another, let alone the killer whose charming manner hides a warped and sick mind.Dr Tony Hill, head of the new National Profiling Task Force, sets his team an exercise: they are given the details of missing teenagers and asked to discover any possible links between the cases. Only one officer comes up with a theory – a theory that is ridiculed by the group … until one of their number is murdered and mutilated.For Tony Hill, the murder becomes a matter for personal revenge and, joined by colleague Carol Jordan, he embarks on a campaign of psychological terrorism – a game where hunter and hunted can all too easily be reversed.THE LAST TEMPTATIONA twisted killer targeting psychologists has left a grisly trail across Europe.Dr Tony Hill, expert at mapping the minds of murderers, is reluctant to get involved. But then the next victim is much closer to home…Meanwhile, his former partner DCI Carol Jordan is working undercover in Berlin, on a dangerous operation to trap a millionaire trafficker. When the game turns nasty, Tony is the only person she can call on for help.Confronting a cruelty that has its roots in Nazi atrocities, Tony and Carol are thrown together in a world of violence and corruption, where they have no one to trust but each other.

    The strong connection she feels with orphans in Romania because of her own abandonment at birth draws Kit to Romania where she meets a Romanian medical student, Marceland when Kit challenges Marcel to learn about the gospel, she has no idea of the doors she has opened.After learning of some disturbing news at home, Kit struggles to have hope that God is mindful of His children, and must decide between creating a new life in Romania and returning to repair her life in America.

    The Diamond family is a force to be reckoned with, but all hell breaks loose when they lose their leader. The most ruthless gangster Miami has ever seen, Carter Diamond, leaves behind a wife, twin sons, a daughter, and a secret. The secret is his illegitimate son, Carter Jones. When young Carter learns of his father's death, he comes to town and is introduced to the legacy of the CartelMiamor is a woman who uses her beauty to enhance her skill as a contract killer. She is the leader of The Murder Mamas. When her crew is hired to take down the Cartel, they get caught slipping, and Miamor loses her sister in the process. She is determined to get revenge. Unknowingly, she meets the son of Carter Diamond, and he immediately catches her heart. She is sleeping with the enemy, and when she finds out, she is torn between love and revenge.Thus begins the saga of the Cartel, the New York Times bestselling series by street lit superstars Ashley & Jaquavis. Every book in the series is full of their trademark fast-paced drama, deceit, and plot twists that will leave you shocked. Now fans can relive the story of the Diamond family in this deluxe edition, with books one through three all under one cover.