Book picks similar to
The Lightning Fart: A Parody of The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Book 1) by Steve Lookner
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You Had Me at Halo
Amanda Ashby - 2007
Now she would like to move onto the afterlife. But apparently she has some mortal baggage to unload first, starting with the matter of how she died. Her heavenly shrink isn't buying that she didn't kill herself- and says she must return to earth to straighten things out. The thing is, she needs to borrow the body of computer geek Vince Murphy to do it. Oh, and although Vince was supposed to have vacated the premises, he apparently never got the memo. Now, Holly has forty-eight hours to resolve her issues while sharing arms, legs, and...other things...with a guy she barely noticed while she was alive. But the real surprise is what life has to offer when you have only two days to live it.
The Night Raven
Sarah Painter - 2018
Lydia has always known she has no power, especially next to her infamous and more-than-slightly dodgy family. Which is why she carved her own life as a private investigator far away from London. When a professional snafu forces her home, the head of the family calls in a favour, and Lydia finds herself investigating the disappearance of her cousin, Maddie. Soon, Lydia is neck-deep in problems: her new flatmate is a homicidal ghost, the intriguing, but forbidden, DCI Fleet is acting in a distinctly unprofessional manner, and tensions between the old magical families are rising. The Crows used to rule the roost and rumours claim they are still the strongest. The Silvers have a facility for lying and they run the finest law firm in London. The Pearl family were costermongers and everybody knows that a Pearlie can sell feathers to a bird. The Fox family... Well. The less said about the Fox family the better. For seventy-five years, a truce between the four families has held strong, but could the disappearance of Maddie Crow be the thing to break it? The Night Raven is the first book in Crow Investigations, an exciting new paranormal mystery series from bestselling author of magical fiction, Sarah Painter.
Star Child
Leo Petracci - 2017
SC is the first person born in space. The punishment for unauthorized births is death. Out of fear, SC keeps his strange abilities as his darkest secret. He pretends to be nothing more than a mere Regular while his peers develop unique powers, varying from controlling lightning to producing diamond hard skin. But when his mother is kidnapped by an unknown organization, SC has no choice but to act. SC ventures into a school of talented students to learn to fight, where he must learn to master his powers without revealing their true nature. But soon he realizes that the school is more than it appears and that it may hold the secret to his missing mother. To rescue her, he will have to reveal powers never before seen in all of history. Written by award winning author Leonard Petracci, a master of tension and suspense.
Love Conquers All
Saxon Andrew - 2009
This series is Space Opera at its finest. All seven books in the series have been number one bestsellers at Amazon's Science Fiction Series. The following review describes the series well:This review is from: Annihilation: Love Conquers All I was amazed at Saxon's beautiful re-creation of some of the best Golden Age SF. There just wasn't enough of it written. Modern authors usually don't or won’t get into the spirit of a good Space Opera. Saxon has real heroes (smart ones, great space battles, grand alien empires and bad guys you can love). He has it all. The characters are pure types. They are also powerful. What really made this book great was the marvelous style. His pacing and scene cutting remind me of E.R. Burroughs. Sharp! Fast paced and quick, the battle scenes remind me of Drake. I am so grateful to read a book that is not dripping PC (sorry PC police!). A true blast from the past, I cannot wait to read the rest of the series. I only wish more authors had the ability and courage to write like this. E.E Smith would be proud.A young boy born with unique psychic abilities.An ancient alien artifact he accidently discovers.Now Earth is targeted for total annihilation by 50,000 warships.In this epic story, Saxon Andrew takes us into the future and the lives of human and nonhuman characters, some we can easily relate to, and others who are a bit different. Along with a hearty dose of battles and spaceships, this is a story that offers humor and a tale of enduring love against the backdrop of galactic war on a grand scale. The following is an excerpt from the book:Admiral Dorg sat in his command chair on board the Alliance Flagship War Weapon and watched as his fleet was destroying the humans’ ships. He heard his bridge crew cheering but he couldn’t help thinking, “This is too easy. This fleet couldn’t have defeated our ships at the Human Colony World.” Then he said, “Communications, put a picture of one of those human ships that was just destroyed on my display.” A picture of a small ship suddenly appeared on his console. He looked at it for a minute and then pulled up a picture of the small human ship that had killed two heavy cruisers. He put it next to the ship that had just been destroyed; they looked nothing alike. His internal alarms went off at full blast; he stood and yelled, “Order the fleet back into formation!” His crew stopped cheering and looked at him like he was crazy. “Do it now; we’re being set up for a trap!” His crew hesitated, looking at each other for just a moment, and then started issuing orders, but that small hesitation proved fatal; the human fleet ripped into the Alliance ships like a tsunami.
In Times Like These
Nathan Van Coops - 2013
How do you break time? Can something so bad happen that you fracture the world?" Benjamin Travers has been electrocuted. What's worse, he and his friends have woken up in the past. As the friends search for a way home, they realize they're not alone. There are other time travelers, and some of them are turning up dead. When Ben meets an enigmatic scientist and his charming, time-traveling daughter, salvation seems at hand, but escaping the dangers of the past may lead to a deadly future. If he hopes to save his friends, Ben must learn to master space and time, and survive a journey where past and future violently collide.
Heck: Where the Bad Kids Go
Dale E. Basye - 2008
Milton can understand why his kleptomaniac sister is here, but Milton is—or was—a model citizen. Has a mistake been made? Not according to Bea 'Elsa' Bubb, the Principal of Darkness. She doesn't make mistakes. She personally sees to it that Heck—whether it be home-ec class with Lizzie Borden, ethics with Richard Nixon, or gym with Blackbeard the Pirate—is especially, well, heckish for the Fausters. Will Milton and Marlo find a way to escape? Or are they stuck here for all eternity, or until they turn 18, whichever comes first?
Vampires, Hearts, & Other Dead Things
Margie Fuston - 2021
Public fear soon drove the vampires back into hiding, yet Victoria and her father still dream about finding a vampire together. But when her dad is diagnosed with terminal cancer, it’s clear that’s not going to happen. Instead, Victoria vows to find a vampire herself—so that she can become one and then save her father.Armed with research, speculations, and desperation—and helped by her estranged best friend, Henry—Victoria travels to New Orleans in search of a miracle. There she meets Nicholas, a mysterious young man who might give her what she desires. But first, he needs Victoria to prove she loves life enough to live forever.She agrees to complete a series of challenges, from scarfing sugar-drenched beignets to singing with a jazz band, all to show she has what it takes to be immortal. But truly living while her father is dying feels like a betrayal. Victoria must figure out how to experience joy and grief at once, trusting all the while that Nicholas will hold up his end of the bargain…because the alternative is too impossible to imagine.
The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead
Max Brooks - 2003
Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack 1. Organize before they rise! 2. They feel no fear, why should you?3. Use your head: cut off theirs.4. Blades don’t need reloading.5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it. 7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!9. No place is safe, only safer. 10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on. Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.
The Book of Bart
Ryan Hill - 2014
With a mysterious Black Cloud of Death hot on the shard’s trail, a desperate Heaven enlists the help of Bartholomew, a demon who knows more about the shard than almost anyone. Six years ago, he had it in his hands. If only he’d used it before his coup to overthrow the Devil failed. Now, he’s been sprung from his eternal punishment to help Samantha, an angel in training, recover the shard before the Black Cloud of Death finds it. If Bart wants to succeed, he’ll have to fight the temptation to betray Samantha and the allure of the shard. After an existence full of evil, the only way Bart can get right with Hell is to be good.
Libriomancer
Jim C. Hines - 2012
Libriomancers are gifted with the ability to magically reach into books and draw forth objects. When Isaac is attacked by vampires that leaked from the pages of books into our world, he barely manages to escape. To his horror he discovers that vampires have been attacking other magic-users as well, and Gutenberg has been kidnapped.With the help of a motorcycle-riding dryad who packs a pair of oak cudgels, Isaac finds himself hunting the unknown dark power that has been manipulating humans and vampires alike. And his search will uncover dangerous secrets about Libriomancy, Gutenberg, and the history of magic. . . .
Underground
Chris Ward - 2012
Now it is their only chance for survival... Britain in 2075 is a dangerous place. A man known only as the Governor rules the country with an iron hand, but within the towering perimeter walls of London Greater Urban Area anarchy spreads unchecked through the streets. In the abandoned London Underground station of St. Cannerwells, a group of misfits calling themselves the Tube Riders seek to forget the chaos by playing a dangerous game with trains. Marta is their leader, a girl haunted by her brother's disappearance. Of the others, Paul lives only to protect his little brother Owen, while Simon is trying to hold on to his relationship with Jess, daughter of a government official. Guarding them all is Switch, a man with a flickering eye and a faster knife, who cares only about preserving the legacy of the Tube Riders. Together, they are family. Everything changes the day they are attacked by a rival gang. While escaping, they witness an event that could bring war down on Mega Britain. Suddenly they are fleeing for their lives, pursued not only by their rivals, but by the brutal Department of Civil Affairs, government killing machines known as Huntsmen, and finally by the inhuman Governor himself.
Immortal
Gene Doucette - 2010
I like to brag that I’ve been there from the beginning, and while this may very well be true, I generally just say it to pick up girls.” --Adam the Immortal Surviving sixty thousand years takes cunning and more than a little luck. But in the twenty-first century, Adam confronts new dangers—someone has found out what he is, a demon is after him, and he has run out of places to hide.Worst of all, he has had entirely too much to drink. Immortal is a first person confessional penned by a man who is immortal, but not invincible. In an artful blending of sci-fi, adventure, fantasy, and humor, IMMORTAL introduces us to a world with vampires, demons and other “magical” creatures, yet a world without actual magic. At the center of the book is Adam. “I have been in quite a few tight situations in my long life. One of the first things I learned was if there is going to be a mob panic, don’t be standing between the mob and wherever it is they all want to go. The second thing I learned was, don’t try to run through fire.” --Adam the Immortal Adam is a sixty thousand year old man. (Approximately.) He doesn’t age or get sick, but is otherwise entirely capable of being killed.His survival has hinged on an innate ability to adapt, his wits, and a fairly large dollop of luck.He makes for an excellent guide through history . . . when he’s sober. Immortal is a contemporary fantasy for non-fantasy readers and fantasy enthusiasts alike.
The Impossible Story of Olive in Love
Tonya Alexandra - 2017
But you’d be impossible if you lived my life ... You’d be impossible if you were invisible. Shakespeare was an idiot. Love is not blind. Love is being seen.Plagued by a gypsy curse that she’ll be invisible to all but her true love, seventeen-year-old Olive is understandably bitter. Her mother is dead; her father has taken off. Her sister, Rose, is insufferably perfect. Her one friend, Felix, is blind and thinks she’s making it all up for attention.Olive spends her days writing articles for her gossip column and stalking her childhood friend, Jordan, whom she had to abandon when she was ten because Jordan’s parents would no longer tolerate an ‘imaginary friend’. Nobody has seen her — until she meets Tom: the poster boy for normal and the absolute opposite of Olive.But how do you date a boy who doesn’t know you’re invisible? Worse still, what happens when Mr Right feels wrong? Has destiny screwed up? In typical Olive fashion, the course is set for destruction. And because we’re talking Olive here, the ride is funny, passionate and way, way, way, way dramatic.This story is for anyone who’s ever felt invisible.This story is for anyone who sees the possible in the impossible.
The Antipope
Robert Rankin - 1981
Buses rumble towards Ealing Broadway and I'm expected to do battle with the powers of darkness. It all seems a little unfair...'You could say it all started with the red-eyed tramp with the slimy fingers who put the wind up Neville, the part-time barman, something rotten. Or when Archroy's wife swapped his trusty Morris Minor for five magic beans while he was out at the rubber factory.On the other hand, you could say it all started a lot earlier. Like 450 years ago, when Borgias walked the earth.Pooley and Omally, stars of the Brentford Laboiur Exchange and the Flying Swan, want nothing to do with it, especially if there's a Yankee and a pint of Large in the offing. Pope Alexander VI, last of the Borgias, has other ideas...
7th Sigma
Steven Gould - 2011
Leave your metal behind, all of it. The bugs will eat it, and they'll go right through you to get it…Don't carry it, don't wear it, and for god's sake don't come here if you've got a pacemaker.The bugs showed up about fifty years ago--self-replicating, solar-powered, metal-eating machines. No one knows where they came from. They don't like water, though, so they've stayed in the desert Southwest. The territory. People still live here, but they do it without metal. Log cabins, ceramics, what plastic they can get that will survive the sun and heat. Technology has adapted, and so have the people.Kimble Monroe has chosen to live in the territory. He was born here, and he is extraordinarily well adapted to it. He's one in a million. Maybe one in a billion.In 7th Sigma, Gould builds an extraordinary SF novel of survival and personal triumph against all the odds.