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Not Your Mother's Book . . . On Cats by Dahlynn McKowen
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Diary of NINJA BOY & Fartypants Book 1: Everybody hates Mondays
Ninja Toe - 2015
I have no idea why my parents didn't name me something cool, like Mad Dog Monday or Muscles Monday. Oh well. At least I have my dog, fartypants. And when things get serious...I become NINJA BOY!Follow NINJA BOY on this hilarious adventure as he deals with...-Sleep Farting in Science Class?-Girlfriend Kidnapping Giants-Stinkalators-Mount Hogsnort henchmen-Evil ninjas-Biff and Lonnie, the bully brothersYeah, it's about to get serious....With charming and hilarious illustrations and creative storytelling, the Diary of NINJA BOY & Fartypants is a must-read for any kid who loves fun adventures! Kids ages 9-13 (even reluctant readers), and middle schoolers can't wait to dive in to these Ninja Boy stories!Be sure to check out book 2, Attack of the Bathroom Pirates!and book 3, Minecraft Dance Party Danger!
A Little Night Magic
Angie Fox - 2016
Enter a world of magic with the ever-popular and always rowdy biker witches; take off on a spine-tingling adventure with a Southern good girl turned reluctant ghost hunter; and sizzle in the sultry heat of New Orleans as a voodoo mamba makes one very big mistake when casting a love spell. These charming tales of love, friendship, and laughter are a pure delight.Featured stories (available now in ebook) are:A Ghostly GiftGhost of a ChanceGentlemen Prefer VoodooI Brake for Biker WitchesDate With a Demon SlayerSome Like It Hexed
Azarão: The Dark Horse (Austin Family Farm Book 1)
David Foster - 2019
Follow as the rescue of a horse in trouble attracts many who would like to help him. Feel the energy in their attempt and the family that is created by the endeavor. I think Haley says it best: “No Heather it’s not like that. It’s just the opposite. I realized that I was no longer just a project. I’m a member of a team and a proud member of this family. We came together to rescue a horse and ended up helping each other. Every one of us has suffered a tragedy that crippled us for a time. We all know what happened to you. Cole lost his wife, Abbi her mother, although she’s still alive. God only knows what happened to Scott in Afghanistan. Bobby is an orphan being supported by his tribal council. Shattered people coming together to help a horse return to the land of the living. It’s like a piece of mosaic art. All broken pieces of glass put together to make a beautiful tapestry held together by a common dream. Azarão, may be the grout that glues us together, but the frame is made of love. Love for a horse. Love for all horses and for this business. Most of all love for each other. We may think that we rescued Azarão, but the truth is … he rescued us.”
The Burning of Juniper Slaide
Johanna Handley - 2016
Nine years later, she's worked hard at putting the past behind her. She clings to her best friend James, the only person she's been able to trust since the fire. But one day James disappears. Juniper tries to find her friend, but she uncovers more than she bargained for. As tensions grow and friendships are tested, she begins to realise that James wasn't who she thought he was. And worst of all, his disappearance is connected to her somehow, and what happened to her all those years ago... An exciting, page turning thriller you wont want to put down!
A Gangster's Grip (The Riverhill Trilogy Book 2)
Heather Burnside - 2015
But once back she finds a cuckoo in the family nest – a dope-smoking 'businessman' called Leroy. Worse, he is her sister Jenny's boyfriend, and father of her unborn child. Rita and Yansis retreat to stay with friends Julie and Vinny, now living in a comfortable suburb of the city. But Rita is anxious to find out just what hold Leroy has over her family, and she'll stop at nothing to find out. The more she learns about Leroy, the more she realises her family are playing a very risky game. Rita's quest is pitting her against some of the most ruthless men in a very dangerous city, but ultimately she knows it is up to her to expose the truth, whatever the consequences might be.
Ulterior Motives
Mark O'Neal - 2008
Louis Wolves. His team got bounced out of the NBA Playoffs, so he decided to come back to Chicago to visit his family Mother's Day weekend. However, someone from his past wanted to make him pay, so his stepfather was kidnapped for a million dollar ransom. He had 48 hours to raise the money or else his stepfather was dead. Will Maurice rescue his stepfather, or will the two of them fall victim to this band of ruthless thugs?This is a reedited and reformatted version of Ulterior Motives; and it contains bonus chapters, a more in-depth background of the main characters, and an alternate ending for your enjoyment. Relive the action and suspense in Volume 1 of this spellbinding series.
If It Fits, I Sits: Cats in Awkward Places
Various - 2016
We’ll probably never know why our furry friends insist upon squeezing themselves into weird and awkward places, but that doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate the ensuing cuteness!With over one hundred photos of cats caught in the act, If It Fits, I Sits captures the quirky, adorable, and no-nonsense spirit of felines everywhere.
The Cat Who Put Four in a Box (Cat Who..., #6-8)
Lilian Jackson Braun - 1988
Eerie footsteps cross the roof at midnight. Local townsfolk become oddly secretive. And then, while fishing, Qwilleran hooks on to a murder mystery. Soon Qwilleran enters into a game of cat and mouse with the killer, while Koko develops a sudden and uncanny fondness for classical music...
Cat Haiku
Deborah Coates - 2001
The poems are accompanied by line drawings.
Fortune's Bastard
Robert Chalmers - 2004
He wears his temper like a badge of honor, would rather step over a homeless beggar than walk around him, and engages in petty warfare with his staff over expense receipts. He's also never been much bothered with monogamy, but when one morning he spontaneously seduces his temp in an office storeroom, he's definitely crossed a line in blatancy. Miller has made few friends and many enemies—not to mention the fact that the storeroom is a notorious trysting place and he and the temp both emerge covered in dust and airmail stickers—so the news doesn’t take long to reach his cold, beautiful wife. Conveniently, it just happens to be their anniversary. Imagine the celebratory dinner, capped by her returning her house keys and consummating her desire to sleep with the neighbor.Not a man to suffer rejection well, Miller heads for a London media hangout, where two employees introduce him to cocaine. By morning, his exploits are public (a photographer captured him snorting the cocaine in public), his career is over (thanks to a damning interview he gave a journalist from a rival paper), he's not only painted the word 'WANKER' on the cuckolding neighbor's car, but misspelled it, and his house is on fire (never leave a goodbye bonfire of wedding photos unattended). . . . Clearly, it’s time to leave town. Miller has an engagement to speak to the boys at his old prep school, but he can't seem to stop pouring gasoline on the fire that his life has become, showing up hungover after a night partying with an old school friend and a gaggle of Spanish flight attendants, and calling the headmaster by his behind-the-back nickname of "Stiffo" to the students, for a start. After the speech, he speaks with his doctor and learns that his father-in-law plans to kill him.Leigh, the old school friend, works for an English language school in Barcelona, and Miller wrangles its address out of him, for he clearly can't go home. He gets the job and adapts surprisingly well to a life of an underpaid teacher, despite the fact that some of his students will clearly never learn the language (there are hilarious scenes of their attempts in this section) and even starts up a romance with a tough-talking English girl who's one of his fellow teachers—but he doesn't tell her who he really is when he has the opportunity, and when she figures it out on her own she is livid and that bridge is burnt. To make matters worse, his father-in-law's goons have tracked him down.Miller flees again, winding up in Florida, in a town populated by ex-circus freaks and presided over by the Half Man, a criminal and sadist with no legs who welcomes Miller to town by shoving a gun barrel in his mouth and breaking his teeth. But ironically, it seems that despite the fleas in his trailer, the one-eyed albino hit man who seems to overhear every compromising conversation between Miller and the Half Man’s beautiful wife the Lizard Woman, and the fact that the Half Man’s stranglehold on the local police mean that Miller isn’t actually free to leave, it seems that Miller somehow belongs among the freaks. These misfits—among them a black dwarf, a gay clown with a penchant for altar boys, a heroin addict who is their unlicensed doctor, a biker hit man named Hollis after Grove’s erstwhile publicist, and the Lizard Woman’s wonderful eight-year-old daughter—unwittingly teach Miller what normal life never could—how to love, and how to stand up for something he truly believes in. When Miller's wife tracks him down and has him sign over the spoils of his old life to her, he gets enough money out of her to hire the albino to hit the Half Man. And though all certainly does not go smoothly with the hit—someone as vicious as the Half Man is unlikely to go quietly—Miller and the Lizard Woman are able to close that chapter and start a new life together.
How to Attract the Wombat
Will Cuppy - 1935
From his perch as a staff writer at The New Yorker, Cuppy observed the world and found a great deal that annoyed him. This collection of essays on animals includes "Birds Who Can't Even Fly," "Optional Insects," "Octopuses and Those Things", and "How to Swat a Fly," which codifies the essentials in ten hilarious principles. And three essays on wombats. Perfect reading for the perplexed, befuddled, and perpetually irritated.
The Cat Who Went to Paris & A Cat Abroad: Two Volumes in One
Peter Gethers - 2001
Then everything changed. Peter opened his heart to the Scottish Fold kitten and their adventures to Paris, Fire Island, and in the subways of Manhattan took on the color of legend and mutual love. The Cat Who Went to Paris proves that sometimes all it takes is paws and personality to change a life.In A Cat Abroad, Peter Gethers recounts the further adventures of Norton, the extraordinary cat with the great Scottish Fold ears, who finds new worlds and people to conquer. Norton, who charmed even the most avowed cat haters with his antics in the best-selling The Cat Who Went to Paris, now hightails it to the south of France - stopping off all over Europe along the way - for a year with his favorite human. As always, Norton astounds those around him with his calm, uncatlike demeanor and succeeds in becoming the object of everyone's affections. In America, Norton goes on the TV talk-show circuit, finds himself on the "A" list of desirable celebrities who stay at the ultra-chic Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles, and is the star of a party at Spago, where superstar chef Wolfgang Puck presents him with a Pounce pizza. When Norton and Peter tour the Continent, Norton leaves his mark on Paris, where he encounters five not-so-friendly dogs and a devious chef; Italy, where he almost starts a war over an uneaten sardine; Holland, where he tours the canals; the Swiss Alps, where he has his first raclette dinner; and, of course, Provence, where over the course of a year he hikes in the mountains, makes friends with a goatherder (and his goats), dines in three-star restaurants, and, generally, becomes the most recognizable new inhabitant of the area since Peter Mayle decided to leave London. Along the way, Norton and his human companion face change and learn to understand the problems and the pleasures that come with growing up and growing older together. Like its predecessor, A Cat Abroad is funny, touching, and wise.
The Panda, the Cat and the Dreadful Teddy: A Parody
Paul Magrs - 2021
You will find us living our best lives, trying (and occasionally succeeding) to be kind to each other. The cat is quite nice but can be a little bit selfish. Teddy can come across as very nice, with his squeaky voice and looking so tiny and helpless. But I must warn you, Teddy can be a vicious little backstabber, actually.This is a book of nice illustrations and some words from which you will likely gain some sort of inspiration. Like:‘Just because you’re struggling, it doesn’t mean you’re failing… But it might do.’‘Nothing beats kindness,’ said the cat. ‘Gin does’, said Panda.‘If you don’t stop saying inspirational things to me, I’m going to punch you up the hooter.’‘You OK, hun?’ asked Panda, but he was just taking the piss.‘We’re just so, so lucky to have each other as friends, and it’s going to make a marvellous book.’
Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes
Steven Morris - 2014
Unfortunately, due to an exercise allergy, and an eating obsession, it isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought. Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.
Avalon: A Heartwarming True Cat Story
Vanessa Morgan - 2015
Avalon only needed one.From Amazon bestselling author Vanessa Morgan, Avalon is the heartwarming and once-in-a-lifetime love story of a girl and her neurotic Turkish Van cat.With humor, the author details how Avalon made other creatures cringe in distress whenever he was around, how he threw her dates out by means of special techniques, and how he rendered it almost impossible for her to leave the house. Avalon was so incorrigible that even her landlord ordered her to get rid of him. But beneath Avalon's demonic boisterousness, Vanessa recognized her own flaws and insecurities, and she understood that abandoning Avalon would be the worst she could do to him. Thanks to her unswerving loyalty, Avalon transformed into a tender feline, and even landed a major role in a horror movie. In turn, Avalon made it his mission to be there for his human companion.Avalon is a memoir for anyone who has ever been obsessively in love with a pet.