It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!

    I just want to be known as a clown because to me that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh.” – Red Skelton “All I want to do is to make people laugh, to take the word ‘heartache’ out of their vocabulary” – Red Skelton A lot of ink has been spilled covering the lives of history’s most influential figures, but how much of the forest is lost for the trees? In Charles River Editors’ American Legends series, readers can get caught up to speed on the lives of America’s most important men and women in the time it takes to finish a commute, while learning interesting facts long forgotten or never known. Among radio personalities and television entertainers, almost nobody had a career as long or storied as Red Skelton, one of America’s foremost comedians during the 20th century. Over the course of 70 years, Skelton made crowds laugh from vaudeville to performing as a clown, and while he is best known for The Red Skelton Show and his other variety shows, he also managed a 45 year stage career, as a pantomime or one of the other characters he created over the years. Although Skelton was extremely popular in America at the peak of his career, his entertainment was also a throwback to the early 20th century, which compelled television studios to balk at the notion of continuing to air his shows by 1970, even though his shows had spent almost two straight decades with Top 10 ratings on the air. Understandably bitter, Skelton refused to have his shows in syndication until the 1980s, and by then, the same concerns about his appeal to younger crowds had only gotten worse as he and his show had aged. Skelton is still best remembered for his performances and his television career, but he was also a noted artist who fittingly excelled at depicting clowns on canvas. Despite the seemingly silly content of his work, Skelton’s skills as an artist were so impressive that he made millions of dollars a year selling his art and having it displayed. By the time he died in 1997, it’s estimated that he may have made more money through art than through performing. American Legends: The Life of Red Skelton chronicles the life and career of one of America’s most beloved comedians. Along with pictures of important people, places, and events, you will learn about Red Skelton like never before, in no time at all.

    There is absolutely nothing as great, challenging, or rewarding as raising a child." So says Über-mom Rose Rock, who has raised 10 children in addition to caring for 17 foster children in her 40-plus years as a mother.As a mother who does not shy away from the hard conversations, Rose isn't afraid to present strong ideas about boundaries, discipline, choices, and consequences—and she tells it like it is. In Mama Rock's Rules, Rose shares the funny and highly practical lessons she learned both as a parent and an educator, while offering strategies for teaching a child to be self-reliant in this world.Written with a kicky blend of maternal spirituality and a "don't mess with me or you won't get old" sense of authority, the book spotlights 10 vital rules, each tackling a specific parenting issue. From "I Am Your Mama, Not Your Friend," which helps parents regain their authority and establish respectful relationships with their children, to "Don't Lie Down with Anything You Don't Want to Live with Forever," which takes a different approach to the often tricky conversation about sex, each topic is lovingly explained and bolstered by stories from Rose Rock's own childhood and parenting experiences. We will also hear from her own kids, as they share memories and anecdotes about what it was like to grow up in the Rock household.Rose's heartfelt and no-nonsense advice—delivered with a dose of wit and homespun humor—will resonate with thousands of parents and will inspire them to teach their kids right, whether their brood is one child or ten.

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    The pieces of each mom's life-the work life, mom life, social life, etc.-are mended together through Christ to complete her one whole life, set apart because of Him.This book is a stepping stone to help working mothers reset their spiritual and emotional health, habits, and relationship with God. There are performance pressures at work, home, and mind-sets that affect a mom's ability to feel complete and live more closely aligned with God. This book includes the beginning steps for moms to walk in wholeness and holiness by asking God for more.

    It is a dance, a cosmic strip show: a flash of spine, and then a rib cage, clean as a fish. Who is laying these bones down, one by one? Is it me who is making you, or are you making yourself?'When Anna Goldsworthy, pianist and perfectionist, falls pregnant with her first child, her excitement is tempered by the daunting journey ahead. In Welcome to Your New Life, she shares the dizzying wonder and crippling anxiety that come with creating new life. Should she indulge her craving for sausage after sixteen years of not eating meat? Will her birth plan involve Enya or hypnosis, or neither? And just how worried should she be about her baby falling into a composting toilet?This captivating memoir combines warmth and humour to reveal the love that binds families together. Welcome to Your New Life evokes the shock of plunging into a life-changing adventure and the kicking required to return to the surface.'A keen-eyed, funny, tender, wonderful book.' - Chloe Hooper'This book does what great literature should: it tries to get a grip on life - the making of it, the living-and-loving it, the leaving it. Goldsworthy's writing is so beautiful, so laser-acute and funny and moving that you feel you are living more vividly. Welcome to Your New Life seems essential to me now. I laughed and I cried and I absolutely loved it.' - Anna Funder'warm, funny and candid' - Books+PublishingAuthorAnna Goldsworthy is the author of Welcome To Your New Life andPiano Lessons.Anna's writing has appeared in the Monthly, the Age, the Adelaide Review and Best Australian Essays. She has won numerous prizes and scholarships for piano performance. In 2004, she completed a world tour performing in festivals and concert halls in Australia, Asia, Europe and North and South America. Her solo CD, Come With Us, was released in early 2008. In that same year she collaborated with her father, Peter Goldsworthy, on a theatrical adaptation of his book Maestro, which drew inspiration from her early life.

    From full and frank explanations as to why he sometime blows snot bubbles through his nose (because he can) to the mystery of the stalker (if someone had just explained to him about mirrors). From the frustrating stupidity of his parents (Hairy and Smooth) to delights of running around naked on the kitchen table, it's a truly enlightening and delightfully funny read. To every parent who's ever wearily wiped food from the floor and said 'Is this your idea of a game?' - beware. The One Year Old is about to reveal just how much he's been playing with you.

    It is said that traffic on British motorways came to a complete standstill as commuters were forced to stop their cars due to fits of laughter while listening to it on Radio Four. This book is an affectionate account of a four-year friendship, including copious anecdotes from their time together in the commentary box and during their travels overseas. Jonathan Agnew comments: "Brian Johnston was a tremendous influence on my early years at Test Match Special. His wit, warmth, and great sense of fun was not only a feature of his cricket commentary, but also in the way he lived his life. Our friendship has been immortalized through the "leg over" incident, but there was a much deeper bond between us than merely that hilarious broadcasting classic, and I am thrilled to have the opportunity to share this with cricket lovers everywhere." Aggers on Johnners is the holy grail of cricket books, a must-have for anyone who loves the noble game.

    Rather it offers a mosaic of observations of the challenges and thrills of this particular time of a parent's life. It is an accessible and humourous book in which parents are offered a perspective on a process that, while deeply personal, should not be taken personally.

    Join Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington as they probe the nature of human society.In this episode: Athenian democracy and arboreal investments; Karl on road safety; President Pilkington's pronouncements; Malthusian musings; Karl's adoption agency; the ins and outs of organ donation; social injustice on the busses; morality and entomology; Karl's Luddite attitude to plate sanitation; euthanized ensifera; social orthodoxy at the orthodontist's; and splenetic etiquette.

    I love being a dad. And I believe that being a dad is one of the most rewarding aspects of a man’s life. However, being a father can humble you like nothing else can. There really is no roadmap. With so few resources out there for dads like us, I decided to create The Dad’s Edge to help YOU as a dad to give you easy to implement techniques you can use to be your very best and enjoy your journey of fatherhood. The Dad’s Edge will help you: * Master work/life balance * Discover three techniques to improve and maintain a great connection with your kids * Improve the connection & intimacy with your spouse, no matter how busy you are * Improve your relationships outside the immediately family * Create positive relationships within the family* Uncover three easy ways to improve your patience short term and long term * Discover simple ways to show up big for your kids and be present in the moment* Thrive (Not Survive) your journey of fatherhood If you can identify with one or more of these issues, I understand first hand. Every one of us struggles with these issues on our dad journey and now I’ve empowered you with some great strategies and a solid roadmap in The Dad’s Edge so you can relax and feel confident you are “good dad focused” and nothing will stand in your way!

    The Calm Birth School teaches and supports modern women (and their families) how to create calm and positive birth experiences that make them want to shout from the rooftops for all the right reasons. This comprehensive how-to guide will teach you all you need to know about hypnobirthing without morphing you into a new-age hipster. You’ll learn: The science and psychology behind why you don’t have to give birth in agony. How to work with your body and breath, defying the birthing horror stories you’ve heard and allowing your body to do what it was designed to do. A total mindset overhaul that will not only create a calm, positive birth but which will also empower you in every area of your life.Breathing techniques to enable you to deal with any stressful situation calmly and effectively: before and during birth, and beyond.Exactly what you need to do to enjoy every step of your pregnancy and birth, whether things go according to plan or not.So if you are a control freak; if you’re scared out of your mind about giving birth; if you believe in your body but do not want to waft a joss stick around your lady parts… This book is for you. With lots of juicy bonuses like birth preferences planners, a confidence building Mp3, practice schedule and lots more included you'll have everything you need to create the positive birth experience you deserve. Suzy Ashworth is a pregnancy coach, hypnotherapist and psychotherapist with two children and a growing bump. She has a passion for showing women exactly why they can and should believe in themselves, empowering them to create mind-blowing birth experiences.

    She was beautiful, she was blonde, and she dressed like a Kardashian.Then Claire met “him.” And it's hard to see evil in a man who's so hot.How many hot men does it take to screw up a life? Just one.The Sad Son reads like tequila shots with a friend- It's straight up, a little salty, and contains an inconspicuous worm. This true story unravels how Claire went from partying with rock stars, hitting all the hip nightclubs in Chicago and LA, and owning every dance floor she set foot on to becoming a single mother to a son she feared would kill her in her sleep. Her life veered to pure loneliness and denial as Claire unconditionally loved—and desperately tried to protect—a son who didn’t deserve his sad existence. And it’s a story of finally letting go when nothing else seemed to work.*This Book Contains Adult Content. Please Read A Note From The Author Below*I wrote this book to raise awareness of the many challenges family members face when someone they love is mentally ill. Even though this is a serious topic, I honored my personality and unfiltered tone with a conversational writing style so my story would be entertaining instead of . . . well, just sad. That said, if you’re looking for a wholesome, serious, informational book on mental illness, this is not the book for you. However, if you’re looking for a raw, humorous (and a little naughty) inside look at what I went through as a mom raising a mentally ill son, then grab a glass of wine and get comfy. And one more thing: if you can’t take a joke, set down this book and return under the rock from which you crawled. Consider that last sentence a test.

    This is storytelling at its funniest.If laughter is the best medicine, then this book is your prescription. Turn off the news and spend a few days not following current events. Instead, return to the basics—humanity’s ability to laugh at itself. Maybe you should even do a news cleanse for a few days! Hide under the covers and read these stories instead. Or read a chapter a day, or a story a day for 101 days. These pages contain the antidote to whatever is troubling you. They will definitely put you in a good mood. No one is safe from our writers— from spouses to parents to children to colleagues and friends. And of course the funniest of all are the stories they tell about their own mishaps and those “most embarrassing moments.” There’s no holding anything back in these pages, so prepare for lots of good, clean (and not so clean) fun.

    Around the time your first baby turns a year old your brain will turn on you. For reasons that are still not understood by science, the sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones you barely survived with your first baby fade from memory and will be replaced with idyllic images of your growing child. This is when your brain, having officially lost all regard for your well-being, begins to fantasize about a second baby. And for the first time since becoming a parent these thoughts don't make you break out in hives. Before you know it, you are dressing your first child in "I'm Going to be a Big Sister!" T-shirts and catalog-shopping for bunk beds. This will be fantastic! But then that familiar morning sickness kicks in. And your adorable 18-month-old transforms into a two-year-old terror. That's when those hives start to return. With Dawn Dais's trademark witty banter, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2 includes chapters such as "You Have Officially Lost Control of the Situation," "Siblings Aren't Nearly as Adorable as You Imagined," "You'll Have a Favorite," and "Having Kids Looks a Lot Easier on TV."