"Oh-oh," said my little sister.What if you wanted your best friend's two goldfish so much that you'd swap anything for them, even your father?What if your mother came home and found out what you'd done?The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish is a hilarious adventure and was the first book for younger readers from the acclaimed author and illustrator of the New York Times best-sellers The Wolves in the Walls and Coraline. Chosen as one of Newsweek magazine's Best Children's Books of the Year, The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish is beloved by readers of all ages. This new edition features brand-new jacket art and an afterword by the author on the origins of this unique and wonderfully funny story.

     "If she doesn’t seem like she did before, maybe that’s not your mommy anymore. And when this happens, you must go! Here is how you’re sure to know. . ." In the ongoing effort to warn an unprepared world of the rising danger from zombie attacks, one vulnerable group has been left out — small children. That's Not Your Mommy Anymore offers social workers, counselors, and educators a helpful new tool to communicate with hard-to-reach at-risk youth. This inviting and entertaining story helps early readers understand for themselves that a mom who has fresh brain casserole in the oven instead of her usual meatloaf is probably not their mommy anymore. This utterly twisted and incredibly funny take on the classic children’s book genre tells an entertaining story in rhyming text even as it teaches other telltale signs that mom has been bitten by a zombie! Rabid zombie fans will be highly entertained by this hilarious parody that adult readers are sure to love as much as the real children books they enjoyed as kids.

    In the seaside village of Frip live three families: the Romos, the Ronsens, and a little girl named Capable and her father. The economy of Frip is based solely on goat’s milk, and this is a problem because the village is plagued by gappers: bright orange, many-eyed creatures the size of softballs that love to attach themselves to goats. When a gapper gets near a goat, it lets out a high-pitched shriek of joy that puts the goats off giving milk, which means that every few hours the children of Frip have to go outside, brush the gappers off their goats, and toss them into the sea. The gappers have always been everyone’s problem, until one day they get a little smarter, and instead of spreading out, they gang up: on Capable’s goats. Free at last of the tyranny of the gappers, will her neighbors rally to help her? Or will they turn their backs, forcing Capable to bear the misfortune alone? Featuring fifty-two haunting and hilarious illustrations by Lane Smith and a brilliant story by George Saunders that explores universal themes of community and kindness, The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip is a rich and resonant story for those that have all and those that have not.

    His favorite meal is a plump, juicy little child, and he intends to gobble up as many of them as he can! But when the other animals in the jungle join together to put an end to his nasty schemes, the Enormous Crocodile learns a lesson he won't soon forget. Dahl's wicked humor is as delightful as ever in this new, larger edition of a hilarious favorite. Illustrated by Quentin Blake.

    He's really a house cat who has never left the family ?space station.? Unlike other house cats, Binky has a mission: to blast off into outer space (outside), explore unknown places (the backyard) and battle aliens (bugs). Binky must undergo rigorous training so he can repel the alien attacks that threaten his humans. As he builds his spaceship, he must be extremely careful with his blueprints - the enemy is always watching. Soon Binky is ready to voyage into outer space. His humans go out there every day and he's sure they need a certified space cat to protect them. But just as he's about to blast off with his co-pilot, Ted (stuffed mousie), Binky realizes that he's left something very important behind ... and it's not the zero-gravity kitty litter. In the first book in the Binky Adventure series, graphic-novel readers will delight in watching where this lovable and quirky cat's imagination takes him.

    Gorey tells the tale of 26 children (each representing a letter of the alphabet) and their untimely deaths in rhyming dactylic couplets, accompanied by the author's distinctive black and white illustrations. It is one of Edward Gorey's best-known books, and is the most notorious amongst his roughly half-dozen mock alphabets.[2] It has been described as a "sarcastic rebellion against a view of childhood that is sunny, idyllic, and instructive". The morbid humor of the book comes in part from the mundane ways in which children die, such as falling down the stairs or choking on a peach. Far from illustrating the dramatic and fantastical childhood nightmares, these scenarios instead poke fun at the banal paranoias that come as a part of parenting.

    . . . Can you guess what it is?

    And when things get boring, time slows down. In this book, a boy feels time slowing down so much that it starts going backward--into the time of pirates! Of princesses! Of dinosaurs! The boy was just trying to get to his grandmother's birthday party, but instead he's traveling through Ancient Egypt and rubbing shoulders with Ben Franklin. When time flies, who knows where--or when--he'll end up.

    Let Scholastic Bookshelf be your guide through the whole range of your child's experiences-laugh with them, learn with them, read with them!Eight classic, best-selling titles are available now!Category: Humor"Hally Tosis was a very good dog, but she had a big problem."Hold your nose! Because here comes the dog with the worst breath in the world!"Wordplay...is at the heart of this sweet, funny picture book...And the bright colors…add a marvelous effervescence to the zany goings-on."--Booklist

    Meet Marlon Bundo, a lonely bunny who lives with his Grampa, Mike Pence - the Vice President of the United States. But on this Very Special Day, Marlon's life is about to change forever... With its message of tolerance and advocacy, this charming children's book explores issues of same sex marriage and democracy. Sweet, funny, and beautifully illustrated, this book is dedicated to every bunny who has ever felt different. 100% of Last Week Tonight's proceeds will be donated to The Trevor Project and AIDS United.

    But passing messages on a telephone line isn't as simple as it sounds. Each subsequent bird understands Mama's message according to its own very particular hobbies. Will Peter ever get home for dinner? This uproarious interpretation of a favorite children's game will get everyone giggling and is sure to lead to countless rereads.

    Cat goes meow. Bird goes tweet and mouse goes squeak. But what does the fox say?The lyrics of Ylvis's YouTube sensation 'The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)' meet Svein Nyhus's playful illustrations in this irresistibly entertaining read-aloud picture book.

    Arthur is an accomplished painter; Max is a beginner. Max’s first attempt at using a paintbrush sends the two friends on a whirlwind trip through various artistic media, which turn out to have unexpected pitfalls. Although Max is inexperienced, he’s courageous—and a quick learner. His energy and enthusiasm bring the adventure to its triumphant conclusion. Beginners everywhere will take heart.

    It is beautiful and it is comic. It is philosophical and it is cheery. What we suppose we are trying fumblingly to say is, in a word, that it is Thurber.There are only a few reasons why everybody has always wanted to read this kind of story: if you have always wanted to love a Princess; if you always wanted to be a Prince; if you always wanted the wicked Duke to be punished; or if you always wanted to live happily ever after. Too little of this kind of thing is going on in the world today. But all of it is going on valorously in The 13 Clocks.

    He's exhausted. All he wants is to go to sleep. Meet Duck, Bear's persistent next-door neighbor. All he wants is to hang out . . . with Bear.Jory John, author of All My Friends Are Dead, and Benji Davies join together to create this standout hilarious picture book that will make bedtime memorable.