And while it's not OK for someone else to make yo-momma jokes about your momma, it is perfectly healthy — even downright hilarious — to find the humor in your own upbringing. In fact, these writers highly recommend it. So if you think your mom is nuts, pull up a chair. You're in good company.

     On the surface, Thompson looks like any other blue collar New Jersey town. But beneath the working class exterior lies a bizarro world of fetishistic crime, sleazy motels, and squid. In these three bizarro-noir novellas, the reader is thrown into a world of murderers, drugs made from squid parts, deformed war veterans, and a mischievous apocalyptic donkey... THE HABERDASHER Red Henry Hooper just got out on parole. He meets his friends, fellow small-time criminals Dix Hayden and Grant Minissi, in a cheap motel to drink a couple beers and perhaps plan another job. Things go sour when Grant takes some bad drugs. Meanwhile, in the next room, strange things are happening that will make Henry's day even worse: a woman is missing her feet and a notorious local gangster Robert Hapertas (aka The Haberdasher) is on his way. And he's not pleased... THE LONGHEADS Tommy Pingpong knew it was a mistake sending his partner Jake into the meeting with their boss. Now they were on the run from Peachy, a diaper-wearing gangster who would like nothing better than to kill the both of them. On top of that, the deformed war veterans called the longheads are buying up all the guns in town, planning something big that'll have severe implications for the town of Thompson. THE APOCALYPSE DONKEY When Simon Palmer took the black envelope from the tall man in the parking lot, he didn't know that this case of mistaken identity would make his day take such a weird turn for the worst. When the man finally realizes that he gave the envelope to the wrong guy, Simon is thrown into a dangerous cat-and-mouse game that finally leads to a sleazy carnival of squid violence...

    I had a three-day notice to pay rent or quit. The ad was the answer to my problem. Someone needed a party hostess for 24 hours on a private island. With my catering experience and model looks, I could get the gig. But when I set eyes on the man about to fly me to the island, I realized I might have made a mistake. The tall, older, arrogant stranger didn’t just undress me with his eyes, he used me right there on the pavement. Deviant desires seemed to radiate from him. He pulled a black leather dog collar out of his pocket. “Wait. You have to sign this before we do anything. Read it.” He handed me a contract. The wind swept a bottle down the runway and blew my skirt up. It was hard to read with his dark eyes looking right through my underwear and into my secret places. “This is a mistake. I didn’t know the ad meant —.” “You thought you were going to serve canapes on a tray?” He chuckled. “No, Brittani. You’re the main course.” His eyes worked me over again. “And you’re perfect.” He handed me a pen that probably cost more than my laptop. “Just sign at the bottom of the page. Full disclosure, full consent. That’s the way I do business.” “Can I leave?” “Of course you can leave. If you leave now. But you don’t get paid if you leave. Once we get to the island, you’re ours for 24-hours.” He tapped the contract with his long finger. “When your service is over, I transfer $10,000 to your account and send you home.” “$10,000?” I choked on it. That was more than generous. I scanned the contract again. It had long, dense paragraphs of disclaimers and waivers but not much in the way of details. “I’ll be — okay — when it’s over?” “You’ll be okay.” He smiled. I liked his smile. I needed the money. I signed. He put the collar around my neck and buckled it. If you like dark short erotica, kinky alpha billionaires — and no-entrances-barred hard-and-unprotected group interracial action with a white woman at the center, you'll love Q. Zayne's creamy story about Brittani’s scary-hot visit to The Billionaire’s Club. Click Buy and get the adventure! All characters are 18+ and readers should be, too, due to language and sexual content. If you're over 21, enjoy the dash of interracial BMWW romance sparked amid all the juicy action. :)

    As tiny and inconspicuous as it may seem, That-Which-Had-Been exhibits an unexpected and varied gift for survival, as it journeys implacably toward its ultimate destination. Along the way, it meets a rich array of ordinary human beings, some of whom assist it along its way, others who impede its progress, none of whom have any idea of its existence.From whence comes the strange, but universal, experience of deja vu? Why do some people exhibit a wisdom far beyond their age and experience - persons reincarnationists refer to as 'old souls'? Joseph Wurtenbaugh in this short story offers a fascinating and tantalizingly plausible explanation for these phenomena, presented in a natural setting that brims with adventure and exhilarating possibility. Not to be missed by anyone who enjoys science fiction or thinking outside the box.

    10 Stories of Love, Faith, and Family "Like Amish soup for the soul."From the author of the bestselling Amish romance series Forbidden Amish Love comes Amish Neighbors, a short story romance collection from the heart.Ten stories under one cover.

    trip to the Smithsonian's National Zoo. But when Lassie and Murdock tag along, everything goes haywire....3:39 a.m. "The Bachelor Party" (The Lassie Files Book 4)Just a few weeks before his wedding, Henry is shocked when he wakes up at the MGM National Harbor for a surprise bachelor party. And if Henry's father, Lassie, and Murdock have anything to say about it, it will be an "hour" that Henry will never forget...even if he wants to...Praise for The Lassie Files:Cat + dog = Henry's crazy night! -Cire6407Man, this is hilarious! It's short and easy to read in one sitting (or laying in my case), but you will find yourself, literally LOL! Gee, I think everyone would love this book! Can hardly wait for the next one in the series! -Louise PledgeI was already a big Nick Pirog fan before reading 3:06 am the Lassie Files so I was fully prepared to like the book. Was NOT prepared to just fall head over heels in love with it, but I did! I love the cat, the dog, the main character, his dad....every single thing about the book! It's funny, heartwarming (as are all Nick's books) and unforgettable. -Amazon CustomerGreat read! Really funny! Lassie is the best! Its a short book but I could not put it down till I was finished. As always Nick Pirog's sense of humor keeps you laughing. The 2 new friends of Lassie are great. I think we have all been there with a dog...you'll see. Can't want to the next Lassie story. -Kristina Masi

    She had to do it-she could no longer live with herself. But how is she going to explain the sudden appearance of a baby in Hollybrook? How will she answer the probing questions sure to come? Tessa is tired of lies. Tired of deception. But her mother refuses to destroy their chance for a new life, a new beginning. So, the sham continues. When Tessa's affection for Levi Riehl grows into something unexpected, she knows it will never work. She struggles to stifle their growing love, but Levi isn't so easily deterred. But how can Tessa hold any hope for a relationship when she can't reveal the truth? And even worse, how can she hold any hope for peace or a normal life when she can't forgive herself? "In the tradition of the works of Beverly Lewis, Cindy Woodsmall, and Wanda Brunstetter, Brenda Maxfield continues to bring you gripping Amish tales of love, struggle, and restoration." Enjoy this inspirational Christian romance today!

    The writer has a fertile imagination and an attractive narrative style.' '...one of the best reads I have had this year. Gripped by the grizzled Irish detective.....plenty of twists and turns Bravo!' '...I thoroughly enjoyed Black December - it's a very good "who done it" - and so often!' '...Top drawer crime fiction...' --Amazon  Scott Hunter is a CWA shortlisted author.

    In each of these exclusive e-novellas, Marcus Salvius Magnus, leader of the Crossroads Brotherhood, must overcome his own problems whilst battling his way through Rome's savage and corrupt political arena.

    Bring a blanket, huddle around the fire, and try to keep warm as you encounter psychotic abductors, deadly spirits and demons of the woods. When They Come Alone - One man's Halloween ritual is far more vicious than it seems. His playful prank is a mask for something more. A Monster in his Closet - A boy is troubled by something in his closet. But, as we will soon see, there is no monster in his closet. Eat Your Heart Out - A quarreling lesbian couple's camping trip goes awry. They may not survive the night when something intrudes in the night. Meet Me at the Looking Tree - A tragic tale of two boys, a towering tree, and a new pair of binoculars. When one of them goes missing, the other's life will never be the same. The Deer Cam - An avid hunter's first hunt of the season turns horrific when noises send him running home. The terror is not over when noises accompany his sleep. What Mustn't be Seen - One night, a boy hears his next door neighbor's home being invaded. But what he witnesses is much worse than a couple of thieves. He Who Waits - Ever since childhood, a girl is constantly watched by a suited man just outside her home. Nobody else can see him. Later in life, a tragedy shows the man's dreadful intentions. The Orb - A metallic, glowing sphere lands in a small town, and those who come close to it are flooded with euphoric visions. Those who touch it disappear in a flash. But unknown horrors await them on the other side. The Way of the World - A wealthy man invites a beggar over for dinner, but the menu may not be to his liking. You Should've Opened the Door - A lonely woman hears news of an escaped killer. That night, the strange knocking begins. Forgetful - A man awaits much needed sleep. But he soon realizes he has forgotten a few routine things. One of which may cost him his life. Sensations - A little girl enjoys spending the night at her grandparents, save for the fact that something visits her at night. Soon, she will learn the horrid truth of the sensations she feels at night. A Stranger's Approach - A distraught woman is having enough trouble affording life when a stranger begins to follow her. Quickly, the stalking becomes too much, and a fateful climax ensues. What people are saying about Brenden Dean's works - “Beautifully written. Absolutely amazing.” –David B. “Holy s***. That was amazing.” -Jacob S. “Now that’s how you write a f****** twist.” -Stefan T. “There’s a lot of good stories out there, but [When They Come Alone] is great.” -Fredrick H. “. . . It's very well written and personable. High praise.” -R. Bowers “F****** amazing. I love it.” -Paula M. “Oh, this is the first thing I’ve read on /r/NoSleep that actually freaked me out. Good job. Good f****** job.” -Cassie A. “Wow. Holy s***. . . The ending really got me.” -Bradley S. "This is probably the saddest story I’ve ever read on /r/NoSleep. God damn, made me cry even.

    NOTE: This edition has a linked "Table of Contents" and has been beautifully formatted (searchable and interlinked) to work on your Amazon e-book reader.

    Included are stories about litter gangs, meat-filled snowmen, righteous cops, beagle/human hybrids, and forest-bound drag queens.

    Sometimes it feels like we are all on a different planet earth. Sometimes we are!

      Lime Peak Ranch is home to the Dumont and Ruggles families who raise cattle, train horses, and compete in PRCA rodeos. Life down the dirt road isn’t as perfect as it seems and secrets have roots deeper than the maple trees.   Bonnie Ruggles has to leave the Lime Peak Ranch but her marriage is in pieces scattered from the house to the barn. Dallas isn’t speaking to her, his hurt bigger than any words. When tragedy strikes, Bonnie is called home to be with her husband. Their relationship is changing and only by revealing the truth can they start anew. Tearing up secrets with roots this deep can cause more damage than these two might be able to handle.  Ellie Dumont Labrum should be living in wedded bliss, but with the death of his father, Logan pulls farther and farther away. Missing the closeness they’d barley glimpsed, Ellie tries desperately to pull her husband out of his grief, Porter Dumont is destined for greatness. He sells his plot on Lime Peak Ranch—his inheritance—and leaves the ranch and family behind to chase the music to Nashville. If he can make this work, he’ll be the biggest name to come out of the ranch. George and Carol Dumont struggle to make a new life out of the ashes of their old love. They want the same things, but Carol has to trust—a task that isn’t easy when she’s been singed. If she can find confidence in her new situation, their love can finally be free from the fears that hold them back. Olivia Dumont is falling in love with Dr. Robert Canton. They would be a perfect fit if it weren’t for the fact that he is leaving at the end of the month. Not wanting to give him an ultimatum, Olivia steps back from their budding relationship. But without incentive to stay, Robert struggles to decide if he and his son, Jax, should go back to Seattle or make a home on the ranch.    Follow this family full of heart and love and loyalty as they work to navigate the revelation of long-buried secrets, bitter disappointments, new and old love, and trust in the third book in the Lime Peak Ranch series.

    The patriarch, Paul scratched and crawled his way from the bottom to the top, literally since he started life in the mean streets of New York City. He escaped to the south and attended college in Atlanta. His high IQ and street smarts gave him an advantage in both law school and beyond. Years later he is now the premier lawyer for the city's premier criminals. A law degree wasn't the only thing he picked up in school. While there he also caught the attention of a prim and proper co-ed by the name of Madison. Madison was a beautiful chocolate colored girl with an angelic smile. Holding tightly to her chastity made her highly sought after. Paul patiently played his position and beat out all his competition. The couple married and moved to an upscale subdivision in one of Atlanta's exclusive suburbs. There they raised two perfect children in the perfect house. Son Brandon just graduated his parent's alma mater and is now on his way to medical school. Daughter Courtney is right behind him planning to attend the same institution before heading to law school just like their father. Yes, just like any other American family in search of the American dream and just like any other family they have more than their share of drama. After all, every family has it's share of Family Drama.