What I found was that she hadn't kept some of it. She had kept all of it - every bus ticket, postcard, school report - from the moment I was born to the moment I finally had the confidence to turn round and say 'Why is our house full of this shit?'Sadly, a recycling 'incident' destroyed the bulk of this archive. This has meant two things: firstly, Dear Reader, you will never get to see countless drawings of wizards, read a poem about corn on the cob, or marvel at the kilos of brown flowers I so lovingly pressed as a child. Secondly, it's left me with no choice but to actually write this thing myself.This, my first ever book, will answer questions such as 'Is Mary Berry real?', 'Is it true you wear a surgical truss?' and 'Is a non-spherically symmetric gravitational pull from outside the observable universe responsible for some of the observed motion of large objects such as galactic clusters in the universe?'Most of this book is true. I have, of course, amplified my more positive characteristics in an effort to make you like me. Thank you for reading.

    Later he became a folk musician - a 'rambling man' - with a genuine talent for playing the banjo. But it was his ability to spin stories, tell jokes and hold an audience in the palm of his hand that truly set him apart. As a young comedian Billy broke all the rules. He was fearless and outspoken - willing to call out hypocrisy wherever he saw it. But his stand-up was full of warmth, humility and silliness too. His startling, hairy 'glam-rock' stage appearance - wearing leotards, scissor suits and banana boots - only added to his appeal.It was an appearance on Michael Parkinson's chat show in 1975 - and one outrageous story in particular - that catapulted Billy from cult hero to national star. TV shows, documentaries, international fame and award-winning Hollywood movies followed. Billy's pitch-perfect stand-up comedy kept coming too - for over 50 years, in fact - until a double diagnosis of cancer and Parkinson's Disease brought his remarkable live performances to an end. Since then he has continued making TV shows, creating extraordinary drawings... and writing.Windswept and Interesting is Billy's story in his own words. It is joyfully funny - stuffed full of hard-earned wisdom as well as countless digressions on fishing, farting and the joys of dancing naked. It is an unforgettable, life-affirming story of a true comedy legend.'I didn't know I was Windswept and Interesting until somebody told me. It was a friend who was startlingly exotic himself. He'd just come back from Kashmir and was all billowy shirt and Indian beads. I had long hair and a beard and was swishing around in electric blue flairs.He said: "Look at you - all windswept and interesting!"I just said: "Exactly!"After that, I simply had to maintain my reputation...'

    There, three lovely holiday spirits magically visit him to teach him that every moment is precious and that he should never take his family for granted. But when he wakes up, will he just write it off as a dream? Originally published in the sizzling anthology Baby, It’s Cold Outside, this irresistible novella is the perfect holiday treat! And as special bonus material after the novella, Emma Chase has included a scene showing Drew’s marriage proposal to Kate!

    His debut stand-up DVD was the fastest selling of all time, only to be eclipsed by his second that sold over 1.4 million copies and was the 2009 Christmas number one. He hosts his own BAFTA nominated BBC1 series, Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, and won the British Comedy Award for Best Live Stand-up in 2009 following his record breaking fifty-four date Arena tour.But how did he get there?Michael reveals all in his remarkably honest and hilarious autobiography Life and Laughing. His showbiz roots, his appalling attempts to attract the opposite sex, his fish-out-of-water move from public to state school and his astonishing journey from selling just one ticket at the Edinburgh Festival to selling half a million tickets on his last tour. Michael’s story is riveting, poignant, romantic and above all very, very funny.

    It's enough to make you "meshugeneh." Today's Jews need to relearn the old ways so that cultural identity means something other than laughing knowingly at "Curb Your Enthusiasm"- and "The Big Jewish Book for Jews" is here to help. This wise and wise-cracking fully-illustrated book offers invaluable instruction on everything from how to sacrifice a lamb unto the lord to the rules of Mahjong. Jews of all ages and backgrounds will welcome the opportunity to be the Jewiest Jew of all, and reconnect to ancestors going all the way back to Moses and a time when God was the only GPS a Jew needed. Watch a Video

    Taking its place next to Breakfast at Tiffany's and In Cold Blood on the Modern Library bookshelf is this new and original edition of Capote's most famous short stories: "A Christmas Memory, " "One Christmas, " and "The Thanksgiving Visitor." All three stories are distinguished by Capote's delicate interplay of childhood sensibility and recollective vision, evoking a strong sense of place.

    Nina Stibbe's Love, Nina: Despatches from Family Life is the laugh-out-loud story of the trials and tribulations of a very particular family.

    Gawky, socially awkward and totally unqualified, his first reaction to this exciting opportunity was panic. But he'd always been drawn to off-beat characters, so maybe his enthusiasm would carry the day. Or, you know, maybe it wouldn't...In Gotta Get Theroux This, Louis takes the reader on a joyous journey through his life and unexpectedly successful career. Nervously accepting the BBC's offer of his own series, he went on to create an award-winning documentary style that has seen him immersed in worlds as diverse as racist US militias and secretive pro-wrestlers, the violent gangs of Johannesburg and extreme drinkers in London.Arguably his biggest challenge was corralling celebrities in his When Louis Met series, with Jimmy Savile proving most elusive. Blindsided when the revelations about Savile came to light, Louis was to reflect again on the nature of evil he had spent decades uncovering.Filled with wry observation, larger-than-life characters, and self-deprecating humour, this is Louis at his insightful and honest best.

    You know, again.

    There is also nothing more annoying. Who else can proudly insist that you’re perfect while simultaneously making you question every career, fashion, and relationship decision you have ever made?   No one understands the delicate mother-daughter dynamic better than Kate Siegel—her own mother drove her so crazy that she decided to broadcast their hilarious conversations on Instagram. Soon, hundreds of thousands of people were following their daily text exchanges, eager to see what outrageous thing Kate’s mom would do next. Now, in Mother, Can You NOT?, Kate pays tribute to the woman who invented the concept of drone parenting.  From embarrassing moments (like crashing Kate's gynecological exams) to outrageous stories (like the time she made Kate steal a cat from the pound) to hilarious celebrations (including but not limited to parties for Kate's menstrual cycles), Mother, Can you NOT? lovingly lampoons the lengths to which our mothers will go to better our lives (even if it feels like they’re ruining them in the process).

    Nine USA Today or Internationally bestselling authors bring you their twist on the holidays using some of your favorite characters in A NIGHT OF ANGELS. This collection includes: Eleanor FitzHerbert’s Christmas Miracle by Maggi Andersen - Childless widow, Eleanor Fitzherbert has resigned herself to a life alone, because most unmarried gentlemen wish for an heir. But after a young sweep gets stuck in the Duke of Broadstairs’ chimney, and a handsome viscount comes to his rescue, surprising things begin to happen. Wicked Christmas by Mary Lancaster - Mystery, murder and the miracle of new love – it’s Christmas in Blackhaven! During a magical Christmas, Blackhaven welcomes a new birth and catches a murderer – and Dr. Lampton encounters the wonder and pain of an impossible new love A Midnight Clear by Chasity Bowlin - Stranded together by a freak winter storm, Sarah, the Dowager Viscountess Vale, must finally face her long buried feelings for Branson, the brother of her late husband. Can their secret feelings overcome years of animosity? If You Wished For Me by Meara Platt - Two hearts meant to be together, one secret keeping them apart. Is William Farthingale just the man to bring Meggie Cameron the Christmas miracle she needs? Season of Honor by Alexa Aston - In the midst of celebrating their first Christmas together, Geoffrey and Merryn de Montfort are summoned to their stables, where a young woman is about to give birth on the most holy of all nights. Will her baby be the Christmas miracle a couple at Kinwick longs for? The Viking’s Gift by Anna Markland - A heartwarming Yuletide story set in medieval England before the Norman Conquest. A Viking saves the woman he loves from the wrath of a vengeful king. Father’s Day by Elizabeth Ellen Carter - Privateer Captain Kit Hardacre is persuaded to learn more about his family. At the same time, Naval veteran and retired spy Adam Hardacre learns he has a son he never knew existed. Both reluctant, father and son must find mutual ground on which to come to terms with the past. A Joyful Song by Lynn Winchester - Seamus MacAdams needs a miracle--a woman who will love him as much as he'll love her. Joy Song is new in town and not looking for love, but it isn't long before love finds her in the form of a man in need of help, just in time for Christmas. A Sprig of White Heather by Avril Borthiry - A crusader knight, thousands of miles from his home in the Highlands, and the young wife he left behind, soon to give birth to his child. In this adaptation of an ancient legend, a token of eternal love gives hope and comfort to a family at Christmastide. From Dragonblade to you, we wish you a very happy holiday season!

    Fox abandoned high school to pursue an acting career, but went on to receive honorary degrees from several universities and garner the highest accolades for his acting, as well as for his writing. In his new book, he inspires and motivates graduates to recognize opportunities, maximize their abilities, and roll with the punches--all with his trademark optimism, warmth, and humor. In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future, Michael draws on his own life experiences to make a case that real learning happens when "life goes skidding sideways." He writes of coming to Los Angeles from Canada at age eighteen and attempting to make his way as an actor. Fox offers up a comically skewed take on how, in his own way, he fulfilled the requirements of a college syllabus. He learned Economics as a starving artist; an unexpected turn as a neophyte activist schooled him in Political Science; and his approach to Comparative Literature involved stacking books up against their movie versions. Replete with personal stories and hilarious anecdotes, Michael J. Fox's new book is the perfect gift for graduates.

    The true crime short stories within this three book collection are unimaginably gruesome. I start all of my True Crime books with a quick word of warning. Most news articles and television true crime shows skim over the vile details of truly horrible crimes. In my books I don’t gloss over the facts, regardless of how disgusting they may be. I try to give my readers a clear and accurate description on just how demented the killers really were. I do my best not to leave anything out. The stories included in these books are not for the squeamish.What you are about to read are my first three books. The stories in this collection will make you realize just how fragile the human mind can be.A sampling of the stories include:The Canal Killer - A violent psychopath cuts off the head, hands, and feet of his girlfriends and dumps them in the canals of London and Rotterdam.The Head in the Bucket - A drug kingpin chops off the head of one of his dealers and carries it around in a Home Depot bucket.Captain Cash - Another drug dealer butchers an entire family so he can take over a man’s fruit shipping business and transform it into a drug shipping business.The Coffee Killer - A young woman, jealous of her rich socialite friend, poisons her by lacing her coffee with cyanide in a public coffee shop.The Arizona Torso Killer - A petite trophy-wife shoots her husband, freezes his body, hacks him up with a jigsaw and dumps his torso in a dumpster behind a grocery store.The Oxford Murder - A young college student strangles his girlfriend and crams her body into an eight-inch crawlspace beneath the stairs.The Girl in the Barrel - A homeowner finds a fifty-five gallon barrel in the crawl space beneath his home. What they find inside the barrel unlocks a murder mystery dating back thirty years.The Dexter Wannabe - A young man obsessed with the TV show Dexter lures unsuspecting victims to his "kill room" and keeps a detailed diary of the dismemberment of his prey.The Murder of Elizabeth Olten - A fifteen-year-old girl wants to know what it feels like to kill a person. Interpol's Most Wanted - When fishermen pull up the dead body of a man in the English Channel, police stumble upon one of Interpol's Most Wanted criminals.The Girl in the Box - An unbelievable story of a psychopath who kidnaps a young girl and keeps her as a slave locked beneath his bed for seven years.The Green Chain Rapist - A beautiful young mother is butchered in broad daylight in a London park and the only witness is her two-year-old son. Police then waste three years chasing the wrong man while the real killer slaughters another woman.Paige’s Secret Life - A young single-mother of three goes missing and police realize she's been living a secret life that her friends and family didn't know about.A Walking Shadow - A suicidal teenager, frustrated with the bank threatening to foreclose on the family home, kidnaps the bank manager's ten-year-old son and holds him for ransom.Plus 18 more truly disturbing true crime stories.

     One family. A tiny flat in Notting Hill. A beautiful neighbour. A very angry dog. A horny Welshman. An enormous turkey. On the biggest day of the year. What could possibly go wrong? Meet Ben Canterbury, 29, single, lives in a poky flat in Notting Hill with horny Welshman, Rufus. His life has been one disappointment after another. What makes it worse is that his brother, Jamie, is the complete opposite - a Barrister to Ben’s Barista - with a family and a proper house in Twickenham. In an attempt to compete with his perfect brother, Ben insists he hosts the family Christmas, but it isn’t long before he realises he’s way out of his depth. Ben’s flat isn't big enough for everyone (including one very angry dog), the Christmas tree’s from the £1 shop, the decorations are hung with Blu-Tack, and the turkey might not fit in the oven. Ben’s definitely not feeling the Christmas spirit. But when beautiful new neighbour, Mhairi McGregor, appears at his door, Ben’s Christmas worries go out of the window and he begins to wonder if it might not be the worst Christmas in history after all. Amid all the drama, drinking and carnage of Christmas Day, will Ben find true love or will it be another disappointment to add to the list? A Notting Hill Christmas is a brilliantly funny, feel-good, festive novella perfect for fans of romantic comedies like Love Actually and Notting Hill.

    Illustrations.