Book picks similar to
Is Harry On The Boat? by Colin Butts
fiction
humour
jons
mmxix
Sap Rising
A.A. Gill - 1996
Charles Goodwin, the garden committee president, would like the garden to stay just the way it is. Lord Vernon of Barnstable, the appalling life peer, has plans for the garden. Bryony Mullins, the gusset-mouthed harridan, doesn't give a flying knicker elastic what happens to the garden as long as it's not what Vernon wants. Angel Tenby, the sexually organic gardener, wants the garden to run free. Mrs Kotzen, the neighbour, wants the garden to be chic. The vicar wants the garden to be accessible and relevant. Lily Ng, the teenage daily, would probably think the garden silly if she thought about it at all; she wants to offer sex in lieu of ironing. Mona Corinth, the Hollywood legend, is dead and may be about to become part of the garden. Iona Wallace is the obligatory love interest. She would like to be a garden: laid, forked, plucked, seeded, mulched, vigorously pollarded, bedded and admired for her natural beauty. The garden wants absolutely nothing at all.Sap Rising may well be a story about dark dank nature both human and vegetable and our uneasy relationship with the mystic natural forces that move the earth. It may be a parable on the fragile consensus that maintains and tends green England. On the other hand, it might just be a farcical love story set in a garden about nothing of any consequence performed by comic grotesques with a lot of swearing and unnatural sex.
Nelly Kelly
Lena Kennedy - 1981
Forced to keep house for her autocratic, charming father, Nelly toils in a sweatshop to keep her family fed and clothed. But when life is hard, Nelly has friendship, dancing and her early dreams to cling to. Dreams which slowly crumble as marriage, the war and a lost baby are followed by the heartache of a lost love. Fortune may crush her proud spirit but when faced with a crisis which will test her courage to the limit, no tragedy can change Nelly Kelly's determination to be her own woman.
Three Men on a Plane
Mavis Cheek - 1998
She now feels a certain freedom -- and also certain restlessness. There have been three significant men in her life -- Peter, her ex-husband; Douglas, a style guru; and Dean, a beautiful younger man -- all of whom have begun to think of Pamela in romantic terms once more. But Pamela wants to get to know herself again and can't quite decide with which of her three suitors (if any) she should take up.
The Food Chain
Geoff Nicholson - 1992
Virgil Marcel is flying to London as a guest of the ancient and mysterious Everlasting Club. Virgil is the obnoxious, spoiled rotten son of Frank Marcel, founder of the Golden Boy chain, Howard Johnson-like restaurants in California; the only work he's done since college is to revamp his father's one fancy restaurant, now the last word in L.A. chic. In London, a black chauffeur, Butterworth, drives Virgil blindfolded to the club, where his host Kingsley, an upper-class twit, explains the club's tradition of ``indulging in excess.'' Virgil eats and drinks with the same swinish abandon as the other members, all male, but gets into trouble when he French-kisses the naked girl who is the motionless table decoration. So begins this story of gastronomic and erotic debauch; Nicholson cuts between England (where Virgil will be kidnapped by the sexy dinner-table centerpiece, then rescued by the God-fearing Butterworth) and California, where Frank, in the course of investigating his wife's supposed infidelity, discovers his prized chef Leo ejaculating into the sauces. Nicholson sustains a tone of campy menace (by now there's a whiff of cannibalism in the air) as he brings all these characters to London in a plot that zigs and zags entertainingly, though with increasing improbability. Even more troubling, though, are the factual accounts of gastronomic and other excesses interspersed throughout. Aside from the borderline tackiness of linking those notorious modern cannibals, the Andean crash survivors, to the high jinks of the club, these passages suggest authorial obsessions run amok. Spicy fare, though some may find the aftertaste disagreeable.
Etc Etc Amen
Howard Male - 2012
How long would this religion take to spread across the globe and even be perceived as a threat to Christianity, Judaism and Islam? In the age of the Internet, certainly less than 2000 years.Set in 1970s London and present-day Marrakech, Etc Etc Amen is a conspiracy thriller and a murder mystery in which people make gods out of men and gods out of thin air, and the destructive power of both religious faith and obsessive love has fatal consequences.'It's a wonderful book! I am even more awestruck the second time around.. Very few novelists get it right when they use Rock as the context for a novel. Howard Male got it right.' Tony Visconti, record producer (David Bowie, Morrissey, U2)'A highly original, artfully constructed and deliciously ironic tale.' Mick Brown (author of 'The Spiritual Tourist' and 'The Rise and Fall of Phil Spector') 'A finely crafted novel that seems destined to become a cult book about a cult.' Peter Culshaw (author of Clandestino: In Search of Manu Chao)'I really enjoyed Etc Etc Amen. At last a novel about a musician that didn't make me want to punch the author.' Jim Bob (Carter USM and author of Storage Stories)
Air Mail: Letters From The World's Most Troublesome Passenger
Terry Ravenscroft - 2007
But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.
My Vintage Summer
Jane Elmor - 2008
Meet Lizzie and Kim as they grow from small-town adolescents to women on the hedonistic stage of London in the early eighties. There they join Kim's older sister, Vonnie, an untameable force of nature who is everything they'd like to be. Or is she? Told with an infectious energy, My Vintage Summer is for those who remember dressing up for their first night out, the first song they danced to with their best friend, their first love - and their first life-altering mistake. It's a story of what happens when life doesn't turn out as you had expected.
Written in Dead Wax
Andrew Cartmel - 2016
His business card describes him as the “Vinyl Detective” and some people take this more literally than others. Like the beautiful, mysterious woman who wants to pay him a large sum of money to find a priceless lost recording — on behalf of an extremely wealthy (and rather sinister) shadowy client. Given that he’s just about to run out of cat biscuits, this gets our hero’s full attention. So begins a painful and dangerous odyssey in search of the rarest jazz record of them all…
Full Whack
Charlie Higson - 1995
But when two faces from his old gang turn up, he finds himself getting involved in a new scam, and soon he is embroiled in a world he wants to escape and is forced to confront a man who is dangerously unhinged.
Diary of a Stressed Out Mother: 'Madness'
Nicola Kelsall - 2017
Dora Loveday is a harassed mother of four kids, grappling with a crazy menagerie of pets, an impervious and obstinate husband, and a relentless bombardment of trials and tribulations that would test a saint. In this wonderful sequel, this book does not fail to deliver a fabulous read, just as funny as the first.
Breaking the Rules: Confessions of a Bad Girl
Catherine Townsend - 2008
Camp Scoundrel: Doing what it takes to survive paradise
David Luddington - 2018
What Michael doesn’t expect, is to be put in charge of a group of offenders and sent to a remote location in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in Spain to teach them survival skills as part of their rehabilitation programme. But Michael knows nothing at all about survival skills. He was sort of in the SAS, yes, but his shining record on the “Escape and Evasion” courses was more a testament to his computer skills than his ability to catch wildlife and barbecue it over an impromptu fire. Basically, he was the SAS’s techy nerd and only achieved that position as a result of a bet with a fellow hacker. Facing a stark choice between starvation or returning home to serve out their sentences, the group of offenders under Michael’s supervision soon realise that the only way to survive is to use their own unique set of skills – the kind of skills that got them arrested in the first place.
A Matter of Conscience: the Aragon Years
Judith Arnopp - 2021
The intensive education that follows offers Henry a model for future excellence; a model that he is doomed to fail.On his accession, he chooses his brother’s widow, Caterina of Aragon, to be his queen. Together they plan to reinstate the glory of days of old and fill the royal nursery with boys.But when their first-born son dies at just a few months old, and subsequent babies are born dead or perish in the womb, the king’s golden dreams are tarnishedChristendom mocks the virile prince. Caterina’s fertile years are ending yet all he has is one useless living daughter, and a baseborn son.He needs a solution but stubborn to the end, Caterina refuses to step aside.As their relationship founders his eye is caught by a woman newly arrived from the French court. Her name is Anne Boleyn.
A Matter of Conscience: The Aragon Years
offers a unique first-person account of the ‘monster’ we love to hate and reveals a man on the edge; an amiable man made dangerous by his own impossible expectation.The story continues in
A Matter of Faith
: Book Two of The Henrician Chronicle.