Before purchasing, borrowing, or stealing this book, you should be aware that it contains the answers to some of those questions, such as the following:1. Who is Lemony?2. Is there a secret organization I should know about?3. Why does Lemony Snicket spend his time researching and writing distressing books concerning the Baudelaire orphans?4. Why do all of Lemony Snicket's books contain a sad dedication to a woman named Beatrice?5. If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?Our advice to you is that you find a book that answers less upsetting questions than this one. Perhaps your librarian, bookseller, or parole officer can recommend a book that answers the question, "Aren't ponies adorable?"

    Vicky Austin and her siblings must adjust to the presence of a new member of the household-Maggy Hamilton, who is orphaned when her father is killed in a plane crash. Maggy is at first petulant and spoiled, but gradually opens her heart to the Austins to become one of the family.

    Now, in a beautifully written novel that is already breaking records in his native Ireland, Colfer introduces readers to a lovable but troubled heroine, who has been given the opportunity for a special kind of redemption. Meg Finn is in trouble-unearthly trouble. Cast out of her home by her stepfather after her mother's death, Meg is a wanderer, a troublemaker. But after her latest stunt, finding a place to sleep is the least of her worries. Belch, her partner in crime, has gotten her involved in the attempted robbery of an elderly man, Lowrie McCall. And things go horribly wrong. After an accidental explosion, Meg's spirit is flung into limbo, and a race begins between the demonic and the divine to win her soul. Irreverent, hilarious, and touchingly hopeful, The Wish List takes readers on a journey of second chances, where joy is found in the most unexpected places.

    He said he'd been sent by Archer. But who was Archer? It had to do with the 2,000 words that Howard's author father had failed to deliver.It soon became clear not only that Archer wanted those words, but that his wizard siblings, Hathaway, Dillian, Shine, Torquil, Erskine, and Venturus, would also go to any lengths to get them.Although each wizard ruled a section of the town, he or she was a prisoner in it. Each suspected that one of them held the secret behind the words, and that secret was the key to their freedom. Which one of them was it? The Sykes family become pawns in the wizards' fight to win their freedom, wrest control from one another, and fan out to rule the world.Diana Wynne Jones skillfully guides the reader through a riveting, twisty plot, with satisfying surprises at every amazing turn. An exciting science fiction adventure where, happily, nothing is what it first seems to be.

    The fast-paced and funny series is now available in deluxe hardcover editions illustrated by Hayley Lazo.On his thirteenth birthday, foster child Alcatraz Smedry gets a bag of sand in the mail-his only inheritance from his father and mother. He soon learns that this is no ordinary bag of sand. It is quickly stolen by the cult of evil Librarians who are taking over the world by spreading misinformation and suppressing truth. Alcatraz must stop them, using the only weapon he has: an incredible talent for breaking things.

    . . isn't it?The alien spaceship is in his sights. His finger is on the Fire button. Johnny Maxwell is about to set the new high score on the computer game Only You Can Save Mankind.Suddenly, a message appears:We wish to talk. We surrender.But the aliens aren't supposed to surrender—they're supposed to die!

    And it's the truth. Ask him a question and he's bound to give you an honest answer. Which is why, when his teacher asks what happened to last night's math assignment, Rod has to give the only answer he can: "Aliens ate my homework, Miss Maloney!" Of course, no one believes Rod this time, so they don't bother to ask him why the aliens are here. It's just as well, since he is sworn to silence about their secret mission and the fact that he has been drafted to help them!

    So the Headmaster, aka "The Fish" decides it would be best to separate them. Bruno must now room with ghoulish Elmer Dimsdale, plus his plants, goldfish, and ants. And Boots is stuck with nerdy, preppy, paranoid George Wexford-Smyth III.Of course, this means war. Because Bruno and Boots are determined to get their old room back, no matter what it takes. And the skunk is only the beginning....

    (And you, dear reader, can test your wits right alongside them.) But in the end just four very special children will succeed. Their challenge: to go on a secret mission that only the most intelligent and resourceful children could complete. To accomplish it they will have to go undercover at the Learning Institute for the Very Enlightened, where the only rule is that there are no rules. As our heroes face physical and mental trials beyond their wildest imaginations, they have no choice but to turn to each other for support. But with their newfound friendship at stake, will they be able to pass the most important test of all?This tenth anniversary edition of The Mysterious Benedict Society includes over thirty pages of bonus materials that will delight old and new fans alike.

    For Milo, everything’s a bore. When a tollbooth mysteriously appears in his room, he drives through only because he’s got nothing better to do. But on the other side, things seem different. Milo visits the Island of Conclusions (you get there by jumping), learns about time from a ticking watchdog named Tock, and even embarks on a quest to rescue Rhyme and Reason! Somewhere along the way, Milo realizes something astonishing. Life is far from dull. In fact, it’s exciting beyond his wildest dreams. . . .

    She has come all the way from Vancouver Island, Canada, to take care of the children while their parents are away, and right from the start Aunt Sally enchants them with tales of her childhood with their father. Odd characters figure largely in the stories, like Maud, a hunter rumored to have killed eighty cougars; Great-uncle Louis, a health nut who insists everyone should gnaw on sticks for extra fiber; and Fat Little Mean Girl, the star of a cautionary tale involving witchcraft and candy. All of Aunt Sally's reminiscences lead up to a crucial story about trolls, sinister creatures who supposedly lurked along the shore at night. The trolls had the power to change Aunt Sally's life forever, and their legacy may change the lives of the three present-day children as well.

    Dominic is a talented dog, and when he encounters the notorious Doomsday Gang up to their old tricks, it becomes obvious they have met their match!An ALA Notable Book

    At age five-and-a-half she's knocking off double-digit multiplication problems and blitz-reading Dickens. Even more remarkably, her classmates love her even though she's a super-nerd and the teacher's pet. But everything is not perfect in Matilda's world. For starters she has two of the most idiotic, self-centered parents who ever lived. Then there's the large, busty nightmare of a school principal, Miss ("The") Trunchbull, a former hammer-throwing champion who flings children at will and is approximately as sympathetic as a bulldozer. Fortunately for Matilda, she has the inner resources to deal with such annoyances: astonishing intelligence, saintly patience, and an innate predilection for revenge.She warms up with some practical jokes aimed at her hapless parents, but the true test comes when she rallies in defense of her teacher, the sweet Miss Honey, against the diabolical Trunchbull. There is never any doubt that Matilda will carry the day. Even so, this wonderful story is far from predictable. Roald Dahl, while keeping the plot moving imaginatively, also has an unerring ear for emotional truth. The reader cares about Matilda because in addition to all her other gifts, she has real feelings.

    Leon Carillon sets off to meet the husband she hasn't seen since he was five, she doesn't know what to expect. She certainly doesn't bargain for the storm that knocks their boat overboard, or the fact that her husband will disappear, leaving only one very waterlogged clue. She also doesn't know that while she searches for Leon (or is it Noel?) she will have to find the answer to these important questions: Were Tony and Tina really Siamese Twins? Why does the crossword puzzle expert wear a helmet during dinner? And what do the glub blubs mean?

    Leonard's life at his new junior high is just barely tolerable until he becomes friends with the unusual Alan and with him shares an extraordinary adventure.