The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    She spends her days stuck between a mother with permanent PMS and a desire to create a spectacle wherever she goes and a father determined to blend into the background and avoid being noticed at all costs. When you add to the mix strange childhood friends, sadistic teachers, haircuts from hell and events that had to be lived to be believed and it makes for some amusing reading. If you remember sitting in tin baths in front of the fire, outside toilets in freezing backyards and doing PE in your knickers then this book might bring back a few memories and make you smile. "Our first term at Junior School saw the whole class caught up in a sex scandal. Not that any of us realised it, we were all still as clueless as each other." "We were very excited to be at the City Hall, as for the first time we wouldn't be dancing in our underwear." "Me and Johnny went everywhere together, we were like Forest Gump and Jenny, only with Yorkshire accents" A must read for everyone that ever had to grow up wearing their mother's dubious knitting and enduring humiliating visits from the nit nurse! Volume One : Volume 2 Dont Tell My Mum! available for download now.

    These are her collected pieces: regular bulletins from the woman writing under the covers.Marian loves shoes and her LTFs (Long-Term Friends), hates realtors and lost luggage, and she once had a Christmas office party that involved roasting two sheep on a spit, Moroccan-style. She's just like you and me ...Featuring a wide compilation of Marian's journalism from magazines and newspapers, plus some exclusive, previously unpublished material, Under the Duvet is bursting with funny stories: observations on life, in-laws, weight loss, parties and driving lessons that will keep you utterly gripped -- either wincing with recognition or roaring with laughter.

    A wave of sinkholes appears on the anniversary of a rural tragedy, and local residents begin to hear the voices of the dead. A woman encounters a predator from her youth—and a chance to turn the tables. A child’s inner beast takes on a sinister life of its own. An undetectable serial killer raises tensions on a college campus. Experimental physics reveals another world, and it might mean the end of ours. Shrouded in darkness, lurking in the shadows, NIGHT TERRORS III awaits you. The third installment of the chilling Night Terrors anthology series includes stories from Jack Ketchum, Steve Rasnic Tem, Dennis Etchison, Taylor Grant, Eric J. Guignard, Aric Sundquist, Jennifer Brozek, John McNee, Simon McCaffery, Patty Templeton, and many more!

    By turns sweet and comic, sentimental and serious, Joseph Bottum's "Dakota Christmas" is an instant Christmas classic. In this beautifully written account of the mad joys and wild emotions of Christmas for children, Bottum captures the universal spirit of the season even while he recounts his memories with a sharp particularity that brings them alive for readers."Her hair was the same thin shade of gray as the weather-beaten pickets of the fence around her frozen garden," he writes of one chance Christmas encounter. "She had a way with horses, and she was alone on Christmas Eve. There is little in my life I regret as much as that I would not stay for just one cookie, just one cup of tea.""Joseph Bottum is one of America’s most gifted writers, with a perfect ear and a matchless style," the essayist Andrew Ferguson notes of "Dakota Christmas." And "to watch him deck the halls with his customary humor and generosity of spirit is glad tidings indeed--guaranteed to make your Yuletide bright.""Families have always loved brief Christmas classics that could be read aloud by the fire," adds Michael Novak. "Joseph Bottum's 'Dakota Christmas' is such a classic."

    Kit can’t boil water, but he’s got the look and needs the money. Magda is keen to go for a traditional feel, happy families, picnics on the beach and birthday teas, so Sarah - along with her two boys - finds herself as undercover cook, and an instant wife and family for Kit’s TV debut. But what will that do to Sarah's fresh start, her new man, ex-husband and the rest of her life? Is it a recipe for disaster or does it have all the ingredients of a great romance? Cooking up a Storm is a classic Rom-Com, and includes recipes for all the dishes cooked by Sarah and Kit.

    And that's what Furiously Happy is all about."Jenny’s readings are standing room only, with fans lining up to have Jenny sign their bottles of Xanax or Prozac as often as they are to have her sign their books. Furiously Happy appeals to Jenny's core fan base but also transcends it. There are so many people out there struggling with depression and mental illness, either themselves or someone in their family—and in Furiously Happy they will find a member of their tribe offering up an uplifting message (via a taxidermied roadkill raccoon). Let's Pretend This Never Happened ostensibly was about embracing your own weirdness, but deep down it was about family. Furiously Happy is about depression and mental illness, but deep down it's about joy—and who doesn't want a bit more of that?

    A real one. Like, one that pays! With graduation looming, Susan Wade’s job prospects are bleak. Following her semi-boyfriend to the bowels of Texas or managing a dilapidated diner are her only options until she’s unexpectedly offered the interview of a lifetime. But when a corporate shark challenges her integrity, will she blow her chance at this dream job or swallow her ego? Find out in this hilarious comedy, rife with psychotic roommates, questionable fashion choices, and an epic search for the perfect cup of coffee.

    Many pilots, including Douglas Bader, thought it was superior to the Spit--but together they saved Britain from Nazi invasion and possible defeat.Adrian Stewart has produced a gloriously atmospheric and nostalgic book capturing the spirit of these great aircraft and the pilots who flew them. It tracks the aircraft as it was developed and improved, and follows it to the many theaters of the war where it saw service. Among the lesser-known are Burma and hazardous convoy protection in the Arctic and Mediterranean, flying from makeshift carriers. This book will fascinate specialist aviation historians and those who enjoy a rattling good war story, and includes a superb selection of rare photographs.

    But she only has four days to decide, which means she will most likely have to cancel her weekend trip away. She dials her friends to let them know, and excitedly launches into a speech about the opportunity. But when she pauses, a sexy, inquisitive stranger is on the other end, and he’s eager to hear about her store, her passions and her life. She’s dialed the wrong number--- and the man on the other end, with his deep voice, his charming jokes and his excellent advice, is a surprise she never expected…Will this wrong number turn out to be right man for Carly?Featuring an excerpt from Barbara Delinsky’s upcoming novel, Sweet Salt Air.

    You’ve deloaded, done your recovery session, even taken a hot bath. Oh how nice a massage would be right now. The problem is not all of us have the time or the money to invest in some good soft tissue work. Want a cheap yet extremely effective way to get rid of your aches and pains? This easy to understand guide will help you address all of those problems and more. Best of all, you don't even need to leave your house or buy any expensive tool. Just grab a tennis ball and get started.Being able to treat your own pain is a very valuable tool. It can save you a lot of money and mean less trips to the physiotherapist as well as ensuring that you are keeping your body in good condition. Trigger points and tight muscles are a common cause of muscle and joint pain. They can refer pain to other areas as well as causing problems at the site itself. Although they don't count for all the pain you might be suffering from, releasing them can certainly help get rid of a lot of the pain, if not clear up your problem entirely. Have you ever been to the doctor and he or she told you that theres nothing wrong, even after extensive scans? You might simply need some work on your muscles. Keeping the muscle tissue quality high will help reduce the amount of injuries you suffer from, improve your posture as well as help a lot of muscle and joint pain.In this book you can learn how to effectively get rid of shoulder pain, neck pain, upper and lower back pain, hip and glute pain and stiffness, leg and knee pain, calf pain, ankle stiffness, Achilles problems and much more.Actual excerpt from the book of how I discovered this great technique."When I was playing in Germany, I had really bad shoulder pain. The kind that ran down to my fingers and made me unable to put my arms over my head. One night trying to get relief I grabbed my old Motorola and started laying on it, with it digging in under my shoulder. Slowly and excruciatingly I released the rotator cuff muscles and gave myself a pain free range of motion that I had only dreamed of before. Needless to say, I thought I was a genius and upgraded to a tennis ball pretty quickly."

    

    In early March 2020 Liverpool were two wins away from an extraordinary achievement, on course for their first league title win in 30 years - since the heads days of Kenny Dalglish - and likely to seal it in the Merseyside derby against their great rivals Everton. And all this an incredible two months before the season was due to end. Then, as we all know, the season was postponed.The architect of the club's great resurgence - including their 2019 UEFA Champions League win - has been J�rgen Klopp. In his personal love-letter to the man, Anthony Quinn, journalist, novelist and life-long Liverpool fan, has written an inspiring and affectionate portrait of the incredible German manager, who came to Liverpool in late 2015, with a growing reputation from his successes at Borussia Dortmund.Closely following the three month break, as well as the club's title-clinching return, Quinn offers a uniquely revealing and personal take on this long-awaited triumph.

    This e-book is a completely new way to learn Brazilian Portuguese vocabulary fast - and for free! Start speaking Brazilian Portuguese in minutes with the powerful learning methods you will master in this book.The vocabulary words you’ll find in Learn BrazilianPortuguese - Word Power 101 were hand selected by our Brazilian Portuguese language teachers as the top 101 most frequently used words in the Brazilian Portuguese language. With each entry, you’ll see the word and a vibrant image to help remember the meaning. You’ll hear the word (separate free download) to master the pronunciation. Then you’ll see how the word is actually used in everyday speech with sample sentences and phrases. Learning Brazilian Portuguese vocabulary has never been easier!In this book, you’ll get: - 101 of the most frequently used Brazilian Portuguese vocabulary words - Audio with authentic native Brazilian Portuguese pronunciation *Supplementary mp3 audio files are a separate download - Vibrant photos and images to help memorization - Useful and practical sample sentences and phrases Purchase Learn BrazilianPortuguese - Word Power 101 today to start mastering Brazilian Portuguese vocabulary in the fastest, easiest and most fun way possible!

    A mental health patient threatening to fly out of the window. A hypochondriac calling in with stomach pains that don't exist. A mother with a heart condition - who might not live to see her child grow-up. Alex Rudd always wanted to be a doctor.And he always wanted to work nights in London.But it's a job that might drive him crazy - if he doesn't die of exhaustion first. It's the greatest city in the world - and also home to the most bizarre medical emergencies any doctor will ever witness. As an emergency doctor, Rudd visits homes across London throughout the night. Hypochondriacs, drug-abusers -- and people with household objects inserted in their nether-regions, his patients range from the mad to the moving.'London Call-Out: Confessions Of A Doctor In The Capital' lifts the lid on the medical services in the British capital. It provides a revealing look at the work of a sessional GP and examines the dynamics of the night-shift team. It is entertaining and funny yet also eye-opening and informative. And it provides an illuminating overview of many of the issues facing a medical service in a major city. 'London Call-Out' is a must-read for anyone who enjoys medical memoirs - and is perfect for fans of Benjamin Daniels' 'Confessions of a GP'. Alex Rudd is a GP who now works as a locum in a variety of surgeries in London and the rest of the country. His name has been changed to protect the identity of his patients and colleagues.