At least, he was. But something strange happened when he was walking his dog, and now he's Joe the Barbarian—fearless warrior-hero, summoned by Muddle Earth's leading wizard* to slay ogres, wrestle dragons, and bravely confront villains.Joe doesn't feel much like a warrior-hero.** But evil is stirring in the heart of Elfwood, and the people of Muddle Earth need help (although most of them don't know it yet). Perhaps Joe Jefferson really is a hero after all. . . .* Actually, Muddle Earth's only wizard. And he's not very good.** He doesn't really look much like one either.

     LOCATION: The mountains of New England. POTENTIAL VICTIMS: The brothers of Gamma Theta Theta, the most elite fraternity on campus, seem to be on the receiving end of all of Firth's biggest (and most dangerous) problems. SUSPECTS: The members of the frat may seem like brothers to everyone else, but Gamma Theta Theta insiders know that within the ivy-covered walls the boys are definitely not one big happy family.... This mission requires your immediate attention. This message will be erased in five seconds.

    But Bibi's in her seventies. She's led a full life, including marriage to the domineering and difficult Callum, now deceased, and raised six children.She's not sure what to make of James and suspects - rightly - a troubling secret in his past. When Bibi sets out to re-visit the past for the final time via a tour of Britain in her rather unexpected Volvo sports car, James decides to go with her. It's a journey full of surprises and revelations which will change them both - and, in Isla Dewar's inimitable way, entertain and enlighten every reader.

    Now she discovers that in the year that's gone by, tragedy has struck and her friendship with Autumn will never be the same again. But what caused the tragedy?

     Lynn and her best friend, Mouse, are positive their neighbor, Mrs. Tuggle, is a witch. And they suspect the old woman is forcing Lynn's sister, Judith, to join her coven to witches. But Lynn and Mouse can't prove anything and their parents don't believe them. the girls are desperate to expose Mrs. Tuggle's evil nature, especially since her actions are becoming more threatening everyday. Now Lynn's parents have announced that they're going away for the weekend, leaving Judith and Mrs. Tuggle in charge. Can the girls outsmart Mrs. Tuggle and save Lynn's family -- or is the dark magic too strong to conquer?

    But when the confused and curious boy discovers that a mysterious virus is spreading through town, he decides to enter an otherworldly house to stop it. After meeting Suzy Blue and the first part of "the Will" (a frog-looking entity that knows everything about the House), Arthur learns that he's been selected as Rightful Heir to the House and must get the other part of the clock hand in order to defeat Monday. That means getting past Monday's henchmen and journeying to the Dayroom itself. Thankfully, Arthur is up to the challenge, but as he finds out, his fight seems to be only one-seventh over.With a weapon-wielding hero and a villain who doesn't make Mondays any nicer, Nix's Keys to the Kingdom launch is imaginative and gripping. After an action-packed crescendo to the book's middle -- when Arthur finally learns his destiny -- Nix keeps the drama going and doesn't let it fall. By the end, you might be winded from all the fantastic explanation, but you'll definitely be salivating for what's to come.

    She can't believe her aunt wants to sacrifice her to the local dragon. It's a ploy to lure a heroic knight so that he will fight the dragon, marry Creel out of chivalrous obligation, and lift the entire family out of poverty. Creel isn't worried. After all, nobody has seen a dragon in centuries.But when the beast actually appears, Creel not only bargains with him for her life, she also ends up with a rare bit of treasure from his hoard, not gold or jewels, but a pair of simple blue slippers-or so she thinks. It's not until later that Creel learns a shocking truth: She possesses not just any pair of shoes, but ones that could be used to save her kingdom, which is on the verge of war, or destroy it.

    When bulldozers enter Farthing Wood, the animals must escape before their homes are destroyed. They promise to stick together and protect each other—but then they get caught in a fire and nearly drown crossing a river. Will their pact hold? Both heart-wrenching and heartwarming, this beloved story has been translated into 16 languages.

    But Rebecca is the most likeable, energetic, enthusiastic girl anyone ever met. And Riverboro is never the same again either.

    Everyone who has ever left home for the first time only to find that the world outside is strange and overwhelming will love Bone.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: First Among Sequels, the Eyre Affair, Lost in a Good Book, the Well of Lost Plots, Something Rotten, the Big Over Easy, the Fourth Bear, Shades of Grey 1: the Road to High Saffron. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: First Among Sequels is an alternate history, comic fantasy novel by the British author Jasper Fforde. It is the fifth Thursday Next novel, first published on 5 July 2007 in the UK, and on 24 July 2007 in the USA. The novel follows the continuing adventures of Thursday Next in her fictional version of Swindon and in the BookWorld, and is the first of a new four-part Nextian series. The title was originally announced, at the end of Fforde's novel The Fourth Bear, as The War of the Words. In order to save the future, undercover SpecOps investigator Thursday Next attempts to convince her son Friday to join the ChronoGuard. To complicate matters, she'll have to deal with renegade apprentices, ruthless corporations, and a sting operation from the Cheese Enforcement Agency. The title First Among Sequels was met with stiff resistance from Fforde's publishers because it had 'sequel' in the title, and it was felt that telegraphing the 'sequelness' of the book might be a bad move. It was decided, however, to capitalise on the fact that this was a series - a sort of 'Have you discovered Thursday Next yet?' approach to marketing. First Among Sequels is the first part of a new four-part Thursday Next series, which is reported to be continued with One of our Thursdays is Missing in 2009. The title is a parody of First Among Equals, which is the title of a best-selling Jeffrey Archer novel, but also comes from the English translation of the Latin phrase primus inter pares. It is traditionally used to describe the position...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=602795

    At seven, he was illegally hacking into computers. Now he's fourteen and studying for his World Domination degree, taking classes like embezzlement, misinformation, forgery, and infiltration at the institute founded by criminal mastermind Dr. Phineas Darkkon. Although Cadel may be advanced beyond his years, at heart he's a lonely kid. When he falls for the mysterious and brilliant Kay-Lee, he begins to question the moral implications of his studies for the first time. But is it too late to stop Dr. Darkkon from carrying out his evil plot?An engrossing thriller with darkness and humor, freaks and geeks, Evil Genius explores the fine line between good and evil in a strange world of manipulations and subterfuge where nothing is as it seems.

    She's nine years old, a former New Yorker who's now living in a small town after her parents decided to get divorced, and dealing with everything from being the new kid in school to getting her first kiss. But you know what? She's got her mom and her aunt Tanner (who happens to be an ex-rock star) and her friends Reggie, Rhonda, and Pajamaman, and everything's going to be okay. Except, of course, when it isn't. In this first book of Amelia's adventures, Amelia and her friends take on bullies (and Santa!), barely survive gym class, and receive a disgustingly detailed explanation of the infamous Sneeze Barf.

    Signor Luciano Strega-Borgia has been kidnapped. Signora Baci Strega-Borgia is struggling with her spells at the Advanced Witchcraft Institute.Titus and Pandora don’t like their suspiciously cheerful and fearless new nanny. Baby Damp has been accidentally shrunk, e-mailed, and lost on the World Wide Web. And to top it off, there’s a gangster in a bunny suit lurking about. . . .This seriously over-the-top, gothic romp is sure to have readers clamoring for the next Strega-Borgia adventure.From the Hardcover edition.

    There's so much new stuff to learn, such as how water witches turn fishermen into dog poop, why supermarkets don't stock "picnic-y" things like lemonade and chicken wings on the same shelf, and why it's a really, really bad idea to use wriggly tiggly maggots as catapult ammunition.