Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Between discovering sexuality, pleasing a strict parent, and fitting in with peers, the task of starting a relationship can seem impossible not to trip over. Add the uncertainty of whether or not you should date someone and you're in for a roller coaster of blossoming neuroses.The Blue Book is the first four chapters of an ongoing love story about how hard, and amusing, it can be to find love in unexpected places.

    An enticing new-comer has arrived in King Jereth’s court. Moors has invented electricity in the Middle Ages, and has quite a high opinion of his accomplishment. When he’s installed as the kingdom’s Royal Alchemist he begins to make outrageous demands, and then throws tantrums when those demands aren’t met.King Jereth is amused with the attractive upstart at first, but then finds his spoiled attitude tedious. No matter how brilliant the man is Jereth will not tolerate disrespect. When Moors accidentally hits Jereth’s bottom with a sharp piece of metal he reaches his limit. Moors is thrown over his knee and spanked.Despite being spurred by anger, the act has an unusual effect on both king and vassal. It gave Jereth a thrill he didn’t expect, and Moors became subdued and aroused. A most unconventional romance has begun!Royal Pain is a two part illustrated yaoi novella featuring popular characters from the bestselling Dark Prince graphic novel series by Yamila Abraham and M.A. Sambre.

    Chris Tucker is a cultured and sophisticated gentleman. Matt Gallagher is a pierced and tattooed wild child. Not exactly the pair you'd expect to become a couple. But the sparks fly between them from the moment they meet, and the fire never goes out. Through the first rush of attraction to falling in love, through jealousy and sexual experimentation and a life-threatening injury, the bond they share grows and deepens. Come along with Matt and Chris on their journey, and share their joys and heartaches, from their first hello to happily ever after and everything in between. Warning: This title contains the following: explicit homoerotic sex, graphic language, and M/M/M ménage a trois.

    Archie 1000 Page Comics-Palooza collects 1000 pages of new and classic Archie tales in our biggest collection ever, with over 100 full-color stories featuring America's favorite red-head and friends navigating the pressures and pratfalls of teenagers everywhere!

    The problem? I’m not sure I’m ready for the rest of the world to know I’ve fallen for my best friend. Everyone knows Max is gay. Me? They think I’m straight as an arrow. So did I, until Max and I shared a kiss three months ago that blew that theory right out of the water.Now, by the ocean in Florida, thousands of miles away from prying eyes, I’m finally ready to admit to myself that Max and I have something special. Max has been ready for a long time—and he’s been waiting for me. Really waiting. As in…he’s still a virgin.There’s nothing I want more than to be Max’s first lover. But I know when Max gives away that part of himself, it won’t be just a summer fling. It’ll be for keeps. Max deserves the best. I’m just not sure, when it comes right down to it, that I won’t break his heart.Did I mention I’m scared as hell?Product Warnings: This title features summer lovin’ between two hot men, a secret romance between best friends—one of whom doesn’t think he’s actually gay, and enough heat to set any beach vacation on fire. Be sure to keep the extinguisher handy!

    The flooded metropolis of London has adapted to the rising sea levels: the elite gaze out over the Thames from their ivory towers, while the inhabitants of submerged pubs peer into the streets like specimens in an aquarium. Hired by a notorious underworld figure, Leo Noiret uncovers a terrifying conspiracy that stretches from the depths of Drowntown to the highest echelons of power. Meanwhile, aqua-courier Gina Cassel learns that young love can be a dangerous game when she becomes romantically involved with the heir to the Drakenberg Corporation. There’s a storm brewing in Drowntown, with Gina and Noiret at its heart…

    If Darrell and Josh’s brains didn’t get in the way of their hearts, it would be that simple.Doctor Darrell Warren has been living with his Little Boy/boyfriend, Josh Mitchel, for years. They have a wonderful relationship and have been exclusive, but they have never discussed the future or getting married. Darrell wants to take the next step and make Little Josh his husband. But what if he says no? After all, Josh said no the first time Darrell asked Josh out. How can Darrell get Josh to say “Yes” and make it a night that Josh will never forget?Paramedic, Josh Mitchel, loves his Daddy, Darrell, and wants to be with him forever. But tiny doubts have burrowed into his brain. Does Darrell wish to spend the rest of his life with Josh? Can Josh be a good husband? Can Josh get past his doubts and be brave enough to propose marriage to his Daddy?PLEASE NOTE:This book is about two men who live their lives in an AGEPLAY relationship (A Daddy Dom and his Little Boy). If that kind of relationship bothers you, do not read this book.

    When she brings home a new boyfriend that obviously plays for both teams, young Jeff knows exactly what he must do – seduce that hunky older man into pounding him for the first time! This smoking hot gay romance story will satisfy all your taboo household cravings! 18+ ONLY! Caution! This steamy taboo tale is for readers 18+ only!

    Set in downtown New York City, Whores of Lost Atlantis features Julian Young, a performer and playwright who tells the story of his acting troupe's hilarious struggle to assemble an Off-Broadway production of Julian's play, Whores of Lost Atlantis, in which Julian acts in drag. The novel's unforgettable cast of characters includes Joel, a perfect English gentleman from Indiana; Roxie, an actress/librarian with moxie; Buster, a voluptuous young alcoholic; Camille, the fiery wig designer Julian considers having an affair with; Perry, Julian's best friend, with a weakness for plastic surgery and peroxide; and Kiko, the wonderfully wicked performance artist who tries to sabotage Julian's career. Getting his play produced proves to be a picaresque adventure with plenty of surprises, leaving the reader feverishly turning pages to see if the show can go on.

    It features our heroes Ben and Jonah, who appears in the previous book Flight of Magpies, and as you will see, things are going swimmingly for them.Happy Valentine’s Day from me and Lyudmila. I hope yours is better than Ben and Jonah’s…

    This new breed is stronger, smarter, and far more beautiful than their parent race, and are endowed with psychic as well as physical gifts. They are destined to supplant humanity as we know it, but humanity won't die without a struggle.

    Broken, hurt, and rejected, Les has focused his energies on rebuilding his life. Les's accident has shown him that the most valuable treasures are usually found under an imperfect surface, and his reputation for taking in strays starts to grow. But it's one of these strays in particular, injured rodeo cowboy Randy Hersch, who captures more than just his compassion. Between his disapproving father and his chosen career path, Randy has always felt the need to deny his passion. But when Les takes him under his wing, Randy begins to realize that he is truly strong enough to admit his true self-to himself and the rest of the world. But in the arms of a broken man, can he find acceptance.and love?

    With almost all of the crew of the ancient starship Destiny in suspended animation, only Eli Wallace is left awake to repair his own stasis pod before time runs out. While he races against time, a new and unexpected danger threatens the fragile plan designed to keep everyone alive and away from the aliens who had been pursuing them. What strange new menace confronts Eli, Colonel Young, Doctor Rush and the others? You’ll have to pick up this issue to find out!

    With a new job awaiting him in Cattle Valley, Wyoming, he convinces his men, Nate and Rio to make the move.A community built on tolerance, Cattle Valley’s one of the few places in the country where the residents won’t bat an eyelash at the threesomes relationship. Nate, Rio and Ryan fit right in. However, with Ryan busy in his new job as town Sheriff, Rio and Nate are left to wonder how they’re supposed to make a living. What use are a highly trained mercenary and a private detective in a peaceful community the size of Cattle Valley?Reader Advisory: This book is best read in sequence as part of a series