Book picks similar to
Parental Advisory by George Carlin


humor
audiobooks
nonfiction
philosophy-and-ideas

Duck Dynasty: Family Faith and Family Fun


Kevin Michael Byrne - 2013
    (Hence the “Dynasty” part of the show.)But even though they may have large homes, the Robertson brothers love hunting and fishing and proudly proclaim themselves “rednecks.”Phil was a star quarterback at Louisiana Tech but turned down the offer to play in NFL because he didn’t want to miss the duck season where he began his business and spent 25 years making duck calls from Louisiana cedar trees.The now multi-million dollar enterprise is managed by Phil’s third son Willie who is CEO of the company, while his brother Jase is the COO.Despite their wealth, they still wear camouflage prints, they hunt - shooting anything that flies or walks, they’re religious, and they’re full of subtle humor.The Robertsons are a traditional family who believe in guns and God.In the following pages you’ll get to know the family members in the Robertson family and learn why the show Duck Dynasty is watched by millions.As Willie Robertson said when asked by he believes the show is so popular – “We try to stick to our roots.We grew up not rich at all.We try to stay humble. We’ve been successful and God has blessed us. We always have a family prayer at the end of the show.”

Self-Publishing: The Secret Guide To Becoming A Best Seller


Richard McCartney - 2016
    It takes an incredible lot of time, and often for no measurable results in sales. Some of you may have spent hours, days, weeks, even months, writing blogs, getting active on Facebook and Twitter in order to promote your book. Then you look at your sales figures for the last weeks or months, and your heart sinks. Why isn’t this working? So, have you ever wondered how other books seem to come out of nowhere and become Best Sellers? Ever suspected that there are some tricks you don’t know about that others are using to promote their book? Well, you would be right. In this book I’m going to show you the secrets many of the more successful authors use to help promote and sell their books on Amazon. These are rock solid proven methods that are sure to make your book more visible on the only online store that counts – Amazon. This Secret Guide To Becoming A Best Seller reveals many of the lesser known tactics to promoting your Book on Amazon, including: The Best Way To Promote Your Book The Wrong Way To Promote Your Book What They Won't Tell You About Promoting Your Book How To Measure The Effectiveness Of Your Marketing Campaigns Finding The Best Revenue Opportunities Finding Engaged Readers Who Will Read Your Book How The Best Seller System Works What It Takes To Get You There Hot New Releases - How To Get Your Book There Investigating The Secrets Of Amazon's Search Box The Best Ways To Advertise Your Book To New Readers Book Reviews And Why They Are So Important And More … This book is literally a secret guide to your biggest challenge on Amazon: getting discovered.

Who Likes Short Shorts


Pete Sortwell - 2013
    The book was so successful, he wrote a series. The series was so successful, he spent the next year releasing other projects he’d been working on. Now, for the first time the stories he wrote while learning his craft are available on Kindle and in paperback.From people stuck on roofs, to stalkers following their wives, to weight watchers’ meetings, this book is filled with oddballs, thieves, lowlifes, and other such lovelies. This book also contains the side story to Pete’s debut novel ‘So Low, So High’, so if you’re interested in finding out more about Fred, then this is the place.Short stories:Noang lishHeroLose-loseSo low, so highWeighTWATcherSMulti-storeyApt PupilOne flew over the policeman’s bonnetWin-winInside I’m dancing*Contained in this book are also samples of all Pete’s other books. The short stories amount to around eleven thousand words.

Girl, Wash Your Face / Life Leverage / How To Be F*cking Awesome / Mindset With Muscle


Rachel Hollis
    

A Golden Voice: How Faith, Hard Work, and Humility Brought Me from the Streets to Salvation


Ted Williams - 2012
    The video went viral, and overnight, launched him—the homeless man with a golden voice—into the hearts of millions.Since then, millions have heard pieces of his story: his successful radio career, his crack addiction, his multiple arrests, and his heartbreaking relationship with his ninety-year-old mother. But in A Golden Voice, Ted Williams finally puts all the pieces together to give an unforgettable, searingly honest account of life on the streets. Nothing is held back, as Williams takes the reader through prostitution, theft, crack houses, and homeless shelters in a search, ultimately, for redemption and hope. Along the way, we see his relationship with his long-term girlfriend, Kathy, grow into an unlikely and inspiring love story, and we hear the Golden Voice of God lead Ted from the selfishness of crime to the humility of the street corner—almost a year before he was “discovered” on that highway entrance ramp.But this memoir isn’t just an exploration of wrongs and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to give homelessness a voice. It is a deeply American, from-the-heart comeback story about the power of hope, faith, and personal responsibility. With the innate charisma that has won him millions of fans, Ted Williams proves that no one, no matter how degraded, is too lost for a second chance.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Famous People Who Returned Our Calls: Celebrity Highlights from the Oddly Informative News Quiz


Peter SagalDrew Carey - 2009
    . . Don't Tell Me! to test their knowledge of the week's dumbest news against some of the best and brightest-panelists including author and humorist Roy Blount Jr., author and radio anomaly Tom Bodett, syndicated advice columnist Amy Dickinson ("Ask Amy"), Atlantic Monthly journalist P.J. O'Rourke, Washington Post columnist Roxanne Roberts, and other know-it-alls.

Real Men Don't Rehearse


Justin Locke - 2005
    It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!

Generation Oxy: From High School Wrestlers to Pain Pill Kingpins


Douglas Dodd - 2017
    This teenage criminal enterprise ultimately shipped hundreds of thousands of OxyContins and other prescription painkillers throughout the country, making millions in the process.This true crime memoir details the three-year-long rise and collapse of the Barabas Criminal Enterprise, an opiod-pill trafficking ring founded by Douglas Dodd and his best friend on the wrestling team, Lance Barabas. Raised by an alcoholic mother and surrounded by drug-abusing relatives, Dodd got involved in narcotics at an early age. Their scheme to sell the drugs he was already consuming coincided with the explosion of prescription addicts who were traveling the “Oxy Express” to Florida for easy access to the pills they dubbed “hillbilly heroin.” Soon they were shipping forty thousand pills a month, with tens of thousands of dollars returning in hollowed-out teddy bears.In Generation Oxy, Dodd recounts his time as a wannabe Scarface: bottle service at clubs, an arsenal of weapons that would make Dillinger blush, narrow escapes from the law, hordes of young women, and as many pills as he could swallow. And this was all before he was legally able to drink a beer, while still living with his grandmother. The good times came to an end when the DEA closed in and the twenty-year-old Dodd faced life in federal prison.

Who Stole My Spandex?: Life in the Hot Flash Lane


Marcia Kester Doyle - 2016
    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2: A Guide To Surviving Your Growing Family


Dawn Dais - 2016
    Around the time your first baby turns a year old your brain will turn on you. For reasons that are still not understood by science, the sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones you barely survived with your first baby fade from memory and will be replaced with idyllic images of your growing child. This is when your brain, having officially lost all regard for your well-being, begins to fantasize about a second baby. And for the first time since becoming a parent these thoughts don't make you break out in hives. Before you know it, you are dressing your first child in "I'm Going to be a Big Sister!" T-shirts and catalog-shopping for bunk beds. This will be fantastic! But then that familiar morning sickness kicks in. And your adorable 18-month-old transforms into a two-year-old terror. That's when those hives start to return. With Dawn Dais's trademark witty banter, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2 includes chapters such as "You Have Officially Lost Control of the Situation," "Siblings Aren't Nearly as Adorable as You Imagined," "You'll Have a Favorite," and "Having Kids Looks a Lot Easier on TV."