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The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book
Tim Vine - 2010
Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
A Doctor in Africa
Andrew Browning - 2021
Andrew began his African career in the 1990s working with the late Dr Catherine Hamlin and since then has started the Barbara May Foundation, which has built hospitals, trained staff and established programs to heal fistulas and also prevent them from occurring around Africa in the world's most disadvantaged women.Two million African women are estimated to be suffering with obstetric fistulas. They are often made outcasts in their own community, unable to leave their homes and left with little prospect of a happy, fulfilling life. Andrew's operations, and the spread of fistula-skilled surgeons he is training across the continent, don't just relieve the emotional and physical pain of the women affected, but give them hope and a future.A Doctor in Africa is the uplifting story of Andrew's life, from the challenges faced along the way to the stories of the women whose lives he has forever changed.All royalties from the sale of this book will be donated to the Barbara May Foundation.Praise for A Doctor in Africa'Andrew's compassion for the women of Africa will inspire and uplift you. Written with warmth and enormous empathy, this book will make you cry - often with tears of joy - and on turning the page have you laughing out loud. A Doctor in Africa is a masterpiece in compassion, sensitivity and caring.' Dame Ann Gloag DBE. Founder, Freedom From Fistula'Andrew Browning's deep compassion and wonderful surgical skills have given new life to thousands of mothers suffering severe, often horrific childbirth injuries. This Australian doctor has dedicated his life to helping women in Ethiopia, Tanzania and right throughout Africa and beyond regain their dignity and place in society.' Dr Robert Tong AM, Chair, Hamlin Fistula Australia'Through Dr Browning's astonishing work, countless women shunned even by their own communities are healed, and rivers of tears are turned to laughter and joy. You will cry, you will weep, you will be aghast, but ultimately you will thank God for people like Andrew Browning. Read this if you want your heart broken, then sewn back together richer and pumping with gratitude.' Canon Tim Swan, CEO Anglican Aid'Dr Andrew Browning is known to us as "the surgeon of difficult cases". In his book, he brings us real stories of the victims of fistula, but with restored good health. Andrew is a compassionate, skilled, devoted, young surgeon who has brought hope and dignity to many vulnerable African women. He awakens our inner being, moving us to become more compassionate.' Sister Dr Imelda Nabukalu, Deputy Medical Director Kitovu Mission Hospital, Masaka, Uganda'Following in the footsteps of his legendary mentor, Dr Catherine Hamlin, Dr Andrew Browning's extraordinary life is as fascinating as it is inspiring. Dr Browning is living out his faith by giving the priceless gift of health to multitudes of African women suffering horrendous injuries simply for trying to bring a child into the world.' Kate Grant, CEO of the Fistula Foundation USA'I urge you to take up this wonderful read and find your heart deeply thankful and your mind wonderfully informed. The work that Andrew has been doing is a bright signpost to the God he serves. If there is a more thrilling description of what one Aussie doctor has seen and done in African villages to get women restored and rejoicing I'd like to know about it. This book is one of the best antidotes to despondency and doubt I have ever read.' Simon Manchester, Former Rector, St Thomas Anglican Church North Sydney'Andrew's deep connection with Africa, the land and her people is both confronting and inspiring. Restoring dignity to a marginalised woman is powerful for that individual and her society. His message is one of joy, and hope for a better world.' Dr Vijay Roach, President, Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists'Like an Odysseus of modern Africa, Andrew Browning's extensive, interesting and compassion-rich travels with his family to care for local women are also amazing for their rugged versatility and adventurous brio. An exciting story off the beaten track, both literally and medically.' Richard Hamlin'It has been a privilege to know and work with Dr Andrew Browning. He has been a mentor, role model and great fistula surgeon. He has surrendered his life to help fistula patients. His dedication in fistula work has brought smiles to thousands of women. His life story is inspirational and I would wish to walk in his footsteps.' Dr James J. Chapa, MD, MMed (Obs/Gyn), MPH, Fistula Surgeon and FIGO Accredited Trainer, CCBRT Hospital, Dar es Salaam, Tanzania
Return to the Big Fancy: A Riotous Descent Into the Depths of Customer, Corporate, and Coworker Hell
Freeman Hall - 2012
But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!
Corps Values: Everything You Need to Know I Learned in the Marines
Zell Miller - 1997
Nationally respected Georgia Governor Zell Miller, the epitome of the self-made man, reveals the simple truths Americans need to find success: 12 lessons he learned in Marine boot camp.
Deliberate Discomfort: How U.S. Special Operations Forces Overcome Fear and Dare to Win by Getting Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Jason Van Camp - 2020
This true story tells firsthand the intense, traumatic battles these warriors fought and won, sharing lessons learned from those incredible challenges. A cadre of scientists further break down each experience, translating them into digestible and relatable action items, allowing the reader to apply them to their own lives. Deliberate Discomfort is the ultimate book on leadership and self-improvement, depicting how these warriors found a way to win under incredible odds with never-quit attitudes. The authors don t just tell you how to thrive under pressure; they show you how, in heart-racing, first-person narratives. Read Medal of Honor recipient Leroy Petry's true account of grabbing an enemy grenade in Afghanistan and throwing it, saving the lives of his fellow soldiers but losing his hand in the process. Hear what fellow Medal of Honor recipient Florent Groberg was thinking as he tackled a suicide bomber. Feel what Marine Joey Jones felt as he was flying through the air, weightless, after stepping on the IED that would take both his legs. And most importantly, experience what Jason learned about leadership and embracing discomfort from their adversities.
Minus Nine to One: The Diary of an Honest Mum
Jools Oliver - 2006
Having longed for children since before she can remember, she was suddenly faced with an array of unfamiliar, unexpected and sometimes downright embarrassing emotional and physical reactions. And when Poppy (and a year later Daisy) was born she had to learn a whole new set of skills.From trying to conceive and a first positive pregnancy test to Poppy's first birthday, Minus Nine To One takes you through the worries, surprises, excitement, miracles and sheer bloody hard work that Jools - and all new mums in their own different ways - have to cope with along the way. As Jools writes, 'This certainly isn't meant to be read as a guidebook, or a medical reference book - it is simply my story and I hope that you can relate to it in some way (and maybe even relax with it in the bath!).'Down to earth, personal and very, very funny, this is the book no aspiring mother will want to be without.
Summary and analysis: when breathe become air
John Smith - 2016
It’s a work of art that is insightful and succeeded in enlightening me on how to connect with other humans and why life is worth living. I will definitely be referencing this book for the rest of my life- I do not say this lightly.
Called to the Fire: A Witness for God in Mississippi; The Story of Dr. Charles Johnson
Chet Bush - 2013
As the key African American witness to take the stand in the trial famously dubbed the Mississippi Burning case by the FBI, Dr. Charles Johnson, a young preacher fresh out of Bible College, became a voice for justice and equality in the segregated south. Unwittingly thrust into the heart of a national tragedy - the murder of three civil rights activists - Dr. Johnson overcame fear and adversity to become a leader in the civil rights movement. He played a vital role for the Federal Justice Department, offering clarity to the event that led to the Voting Rights Act of 1965. And, in a shocking turn of events, Johnson offered a path of reconciliation for one of the convicted killers. A story of love, conviction, adversity, and redemption, Called to the Fire is a riveting account of a life in pursuit of the call of God and the fight for justice and equality.
Yoni's Last Battle: The Rescue at Entebbe, 1976
Iddo Netanyahu - 2001
Their captors were Arab and German terrorists, aided by the Ugandan army; their liberators were members of Israel's elite commando unit, Sayeret Matkal, simply known as the Unit. Lt.-Col. Yoni (Jonathan) Netanyahu, the Unit's commander, earned world-wide fame in the wake of the operation's stunning success. He was the only Israeli soldier killed in the Entebbe raid. As a brother of the rescue force's commander, and himself a member of the Unit, Iddo Netanyahu had ready access to the participants in the raid. He was able to obtain detailed accounts from the men of the Unit who, for the first time, described the planning and preparations for the mission and its near-perfect execution. What emerged from their accounts is a powerful and stirring story of how the daring undertaking was accomplished after only 48 hours of frantic preparations. Yoni's Last Battle portrays the men who carried out an incredibly hazardous operation in far-away Africa. Above all, it depicts the heroic - and tragic - figure of their commander, Yoni.
The Source: Power Of Happy Thoughts
Sirshree - 2011
Actions include his words too. And life is all about these three facets of hands, heart and head. But there is also a fourth facet that of consciousness on the background of which actions, feelings and thoughts emanate from. There is a lot said and written about these three facets. There is a lot of training given to these three areas. But what about the fourth? In engineering everybody understands the three facets of input, process and output. People understand that improving the output is not possible until process and specially input is changed. But is there a fourth aspect besides input, process and output. And the fourth aspect is the context in which workers are creating the output by changing the output through a process. Visionary thinkers have now begun thinking and impacting the fourth aspect too. They are understanding that the context or the culture in which workers operate are more important.In human engineering, actions are equivalent to output, feelings are equivalent to the process and thoughts are the input. Behaviour and actions are brought forth because of the input of thought and the further power that feelings process. That is why to change behaviour, it is important to change your feelings (process) and more importantly your thoughts (input). Yes, thoughts are very important. Change in thoughts through positive thinking is essential. But the fourth dimension is even more important. Yes, the context in which actions, feelings and thoughts arise is that of consciousness silence experience of being alive. Very little has been understood about this fourth dimension. Some call it The Self. When that is accessed, then harnessing thoughts, feelings and actions is very simple and easy. When the context in an organization is changed, then inputs, processes and outputs can all take a quantum jump. What a leader in an organization has to do is to precisely do that ??? change the context. The three facets are all lying on the foundation of the fourth. As a leader leading your life, it is similarly important to understand and access the consciousness from where actions, feelings and thoughts arise from. That is why it is called the source. Imagine, not being clear about your own source. But that is what is happening most people don't know their own source. The secret of the third aspect of thoughts is not just enough. The source of the thoughts is what matters. Even in the name of spirituality, which is actually the study of the source, everything other than the fourth dimension is being focused on. The three dimensions spirituality focuses on are exercising, breathing and thinking: Yoga, Pranayama and Gyan. But the fourth dimension of silence, that of Moun is the missing link. In the name of spirituality yogic asanas or breathing exercises or concentration exercises in the name of meditation are given importance to. But until, the source is accessed, until consciousness is manifested, it is not complete. Man is always comfortable with the three dimensions of length, breath and depth. But the fourth dimension is what gives colour to his life. Spirituality talks about the three states of sleeping, awakening and dream states. But discovering the fourth state (turiya) is the missing link. Discovering this fourth state should be the highest priority in life.
Behind The Door: the Real Story of Loretta Young
Edward J Funk - 2015
Then, in 2012, Linda Lewis, Loretta Young’s daughter-in-law, called, urging me to finally bring this book to full life. I’ll be forever grateful to Loretta Young, a guarded woman by nature, who finally decided to tell a very personal story. In doing so, she enlisted the help of her three sisters and life-long friends. These people have all passed on, but their voices remain vividly in the present.Excerpts pertaining to Loretta’s relationship with Clark GableGable arrived at Loretta’s train compartment uninvited. She recalled,” I allowed him in as I would have any member of the crew, thinking he was there for a visit. He had other intentions. Very persistent intentions. He wasn’t rough, but I kept saying no, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Loretta received a phone call from Ria Gable a few weeks later. Loretta recalled, "I was in Mama's room and I picked up the phone. Mrs. Gable said, 'This is very presumptuous of me, but you may or may not know that there are rumors flying around town about you and my husband.'”In 1998, when Loretta was eighty-five, she was watching television with Edward Funk. There was the mention of date-rape on the news, and she asked him what exactly did that mean. He explained to the best of his ability. The following day, Loretta called her daughter-in-law, Linda and said. “I know now that there was a word for what happened to me with Clark.”Clark Gable arrived on the set of THE CRUSADES. Loretta recalled, “He waited until I was through and then offered to take me home. We went for a drive up in the Hollywood Hills. He didn’t say much, but it was apparent that he was agitated. With the long silences, I felt very uncomfortable and finally felt the pressure to say something. I blurted out, ‘Would it make any difference if I told you that I wasn’t pregnant?’ He turned and looked at me and then asked, ‘Well, are you or aren’t you?’ I felt like such a fool. I didn’t know why I had said that except that I had tried to think of something to say he wanted to hear, my inherent need to please taken to an illogical length. I had to tell him that I was pregnant. His look toward me was one of total exasperation, and very little was said as he drove me home.” There would be some phone calls in the interim, but it would be more than a year before Loretta would see Clark Gable again. Loretta’s sister, Sally, "I remember taking an odd route to get there (the house in Westwood where Loretta and the baby were in hiding). My mother didn't approve that I was going at all because of all the secrecy, but I was dying to see the baby. She was very big by the time I did. I just loved her looks and kept saying, ‘Oh Loretta, I hope I have a baby that looks just like this.' In response to my enthusiasm about Judy, Loretta referred to Gable’s visit earlier in the week, the first time he had seen his daughter, and said, 'Yes, and do you know after all that has gone on, all that we've gone through, instead of having any interest in his daughter, he tried to knock me down on the bed! Can you imagine, Sally? That bastard! Who the hell does he think he is?' And I thought, 'With all that's happened, she thinks he's a bastard. He didn't understand that Loretta was a human being that had suffered very much.”Loretta acted like she couldn’t have been more flattered that MGM’s two biggest male stars (Clark Gable and Spencer Tracy) would come to see her (on the set of UNGUARDED HOUR). Under her smile she thought differently. She reflected, “I thought how different these two men were.
Becoming Trader Joe: How I Did Business My Way and Still Beat the Big Guys
Joe Coulombe - 2021
Realizing early on that he could not compete and win by playing the same game his bigger competitors were playing, he decided to build a store for educated people of somewhat modest means. He brought in unusual products from around the world and promoted them in the Fearless Flyer, providing customers with background on how they were sourced and their nutritional value. He also gave the stores a tiki theme to reinforce the exotic trader ship concept with employees wearing Hawaiian shirts. In this way, Joe laid down a blueprint for other business owners to follow to build their own unique shopping experience that customers love, and a work environment that employees love being a part of. In Becoming Trader Joe, Joe shares the lessons he learned by challenging the status quo and rethinking the way a business operates. He shows readers of all types:How moving from a pure analytical approach to a more creative, problem-solving approach can drive innovation.How finding an affluent niche of passionate customers can be a better strategy than competing on price and volume.How questioning all aspects of the way you do business leads to powerful results.How to build a business around your values and identity.
Mao Zedong: A Life From Beginning to End
Hourly History - 2017
For a champion of the poor, Mao Zedong was born to a wealthy aristocratic family in Shaoshan, Hunan China. As an adolescent, he once had to defend his father’s farm from starving peasants during a famine, who wished to seize his father's land and steal his grain. This same Mao would later promote a policy of land reform that would give those peasants the green light to violently overthrow the rich land owners all over the Chinese countryside. Inside you will read about... ✓ Where Revolution Was Made ✓ Mao Comes Into His Own ✓ Mao, the Pragmatist ✓ From Nanking to Pearl Harbor ✓ Consolidating Power ✓ Mao’s Stranglehold ✓ Mao Loses Face And much more! Mao Zedong was a Marxist revolutionary wishing to overthrow regimes he viewed as “imperialist,” and yet Mao, often referred to as the “Red Emperor,” behaved much like totalitarian Emperors of China’s medieval past. Mao was a man of intriguing contradiction. This book takes the time to explore them all.
The Works of John Leguizamo: Freak, Spic-o-rama, Mambo Mouth, and Sexaholix
John Leguizamo - 2007
In this new Harper Paperback edition, all four shows are compiled into one phenomenally entertaining volume.Mambo Mouth (1991), Leguizamo's first show, was an off Broadway sensation. Leguizamo's portrayal of seven different Latino characters earned him both Obie and Outer Critics Circle awards. His follow up, Spic–O–Rama (1993), a "dysfunctional family comedy," presents 24–hours in the life of one family. It enjoyed a sold–out run in Chicago before relocating to New York where it won its creator a Drama Desk Award. Freak (1998), Leguizamo's Broadway debut, is his own coming–of–age story. A "demi–semi–quasi–pseudo–autobiography," the show was a critical and commercial success and won an Emmy when it was shown on TV. Sexaholix: A Love Story (2001), based on the sold–out national tour of John Leguizamo Live! was nominated for an Outer Critics Circle Award as well as a Tony Award.Alternately hilarious and poignant, always candid and searingly intelligent, The Works of John Leguizamo is a must–have for fans of this inimitable performer.
That Close: a memory of combat in Vietnam
Robert Driskill - 2017
The memoir tells his story starting from the ambivalence he had about being drafted through the firefights and wounds he experienced in Vietnam to the estrangement he felt as he walked out of Walter Reed hospital into a civilian world not very interested in a faraway war. It also tells a tale of the commonplace courage of the twenty-year-old infantrymen of Charley Company, 5th of the 12th, 199th Light Infantry Brigade, and of the cowardice and character flaws of a Lieutenant more interested in his own glory and advancement than the well-being of his platoon. The good, the bad, and the ugly of a country and an army fighting a distant war for unclear purposes are all on display in this account focused on nine months of war in 1969.