Donald Drains the Swamp


Eric Metaxas - 2018
    Their King has forgotten all about them, thanks to the swamp creatures who surround the castle. “They’re slippery!” “—and scaly!” “and SLIMY!" Donald is just a caveman. But when the people ask for his help, he realizes there’s only one way to save the kingdom:  DRAIN… THE… SWAMP! Written by #1 national bestselling author and humorist Eric Metaxas and illustrated by award-winning artist Tim Raglin, Donald Drains the Swamp is a whimsical parable for the current political moment.

Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements)


David Loman - 2014
    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

Scum America: The Stupid Factor (The Factors Series Book 1)


Scott McMurrey - 2020
    

Out of My Mind


Andy Rooney - 2006
    Millions more read his weekly newspaper column. Why? Because Rooney tells it like it is. But Rooney fans have never seen him quite like this. Andy Rooney is plain frustrated by what's going on in America and the world. Why can't Americans--let alone our president--speak English anymore? How do we expect to fight a terrorist enemy that we can't even locate? And when did capitalism go so terribly wrong? This book isn't all heady stuff, though. Readers will also get the familiar--and hysterical--Rooney gripes about everyday foibles, such as the impossibility of physically locating your driver's registration, of purchasing a genuinely healthy breakfast cereal, or of enjoying a college reunion--unless everyone ends up in their nighties, that is. PublicAffairs is pleased to present its fifth collaboration with Andy Rooney. Loyal Rooney fans and anyone who enjoys a good laugh at life's absurdities will be thrilled to add it to the bookshelf during the holidays.

You'd Better Put Some Ice On That: How I Survived Being Raped by Bill Clinton


Juanita Broaddrick - 2017
    It was a TV appearance she dreaded and never wanted, but felt compelled to squash the rumors: it was rape. Now, with award-winning former investigative journalist Nick Lulli, she tells her story of survival; from the assault at the hands of the future president, to the veiled threats by a seemingly complicit presidential wannabe Hillary Rodham Clinton; Broaddrick believes now is the time to set the record straight and ensure victims everywhere are believed.

Homeland Insecurity: The Onion Complete News Archives, Volume 17


The Onion - 2006
    Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series.The Onion is the world’s most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

Lipsticks and Bullets: ISIS, Crisis, and the Cost of Revolution


Fairouz Abdalla - 2017
    Born to a family of artists known for their literary interests, Fairouz, an English Literature student from Syria was well known for her work in Arabic poetry, theatre, short stories, performance and local journalism long before the Syrian war began. As the Arab Spring reaches her town, she realises her life is transforming into a blockbuster movie before her very eyes, and so decides to document it with an unflinching honesty and rawness. Frequently described as the Syrian Anne Frank by pan Arab media, Fairouz Abdalla’s diary Lipsticks and Bullets takes us on an exclusive trip into her politically-charged world, from the hipsters on the historic roads of Hama to the upper class circles in the bourgeoisie private clubs of Damascus. Inspired by revolts in Tunisia and emboldened by Libya’s dissidents, Fairouz and her activist friends dream of a revolution and a Syria free from the rule of the tyrannical Bashar al-Assad and his minions. But revolutions are not so easily achieved, as she soon discovers.The spirited young beauty, the daughter of a Christian and a Muslim only has eyes for a handsome bachelor from the esteemed and well-connected Atassi family. The pastel-eyed engineer and member of the Arab student movement who stole her heart is swiftly torn away from her, seemingly forever. Fairouz faces losing all that she loves – Syria is a dangerous place for an activist ­– and especially for a woman. Fairouz must fight not just for a Syrian revolution, but also for the lives of her loved ones, herself, and against the growing nightmare that are western Jihadists.As the Arab spring turns to winter, Syria’s citizens will learn that nothing—not war, not politics, not even religion—can tear them apart. Together, they remain defiant and insist on keeping humour and hope alive. From Syria to Sweden, Istanbul, and Damascus, Lipsticks and Bullets is an intimate tale of love and adventure, by a celebrated Arab author who is a powerful witness to the terror and horror wrought by Assad, Iran and Russia on the lives and souls of Syrians. It is a vivid exploration of Middle Eastern culture, Romance, Islamic extremism, class conflict, and social activism. Syria's story is her story.

Black Skin Privilege and the American Dream


David Horowitz - 2013
    Weatherman was a fringe group most of whose ideas were rejected by the dominant culture. But unfortunately their views on race were not. In succeeding decades the idea of "white skin privilege" became the new default position for racial crusaders and race hustlers alike who believed that white skin privilege was alive and well in our society -- not because white Americans were actively racist, but because they enjoyed the invisible privileges and prerogatives that go along with their skin color. In this searing pamphlet on the racial realities of contemporary America, David Horowitz and John Perazzo show that in fact the most insidious bias in our culture today is black skin privilege. Black skin privilege means the press will fail to report an epidemic of race riots targeting whites for beatings, shooting and other violence in major American cities over the last several years. Black skin privilege means that whites -- as in the case of the Duke lacrosse players -- will be presumed guilty of racial crimes when they are clearly innocent and then never accorded an apology by those who have stigmatized them. Black skin privilege has created an optical illusion in the liberal culture that white on black attacks are commonplace events when in fact there are five times as many black attacks on whites as the reverse. (As Horowitz and Perazzo note, in 2010, blacks committed more than 25 times the number of acts of interracial violence than whites did.) Black skin privilege exists in the affirmative action programs of our system of higher education and in our culture, where a black racist like Al Sharpton could be regarded by the national media as a civil rights leader and then hired as a TV anchor by NBC. This pamphlet gives the statistics and hard numbers the mainstream media conceal. It also probes the double standards and double talk that has come to dominate the way America talks when it talks about race.

The Future Royal Family


Robert Jobson - 2014
    In short, Their Royal Highnesses the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge - also known simply as 'William and Kate' - have done as much as anyone to bring the royal family into the twenty-first century, and to keep it firmly in the national consciousness.The birth of Prince George, their first child, on 22 July 2013, fuelled such a worldwide media and public frenzy that it became the most talked-about event of the year. The birth of a future heir, combined with the historic possibility of the first baby to be born not only to a Queen-in-waiting, but to the son of the much mourned Diana, Princess of Wales, accounted for much of the excitement, but that was stoked by a natural affection for the young couple.From the beginning, the world had watched with bated breath as the charming Prince William and his future bride overcame the struggles of university, rumours and a brief break-up before finally reconciling and becoming engaged. Their ceremonial wedding in 2011 - watched by an incredible estimated 2 billion people worldwide - was a defining moment, not only in their young lives, but also for the perception of the monarchy. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have come to embody the spirit and hope of their nation, and their deserved popularity has had a profound effect upon the future of the royal family.As well as a history of the young couple's romantic relationship, this in-depth book chronicles the next chapters in this modern fairy tale, backed by beautiful photographs, fascinating facts and expert analysis. Now completely revised and updated to cover the period from the birth of Prince George to the arrival of Princess Charlotte on May 2015, the book is both an intriguing insight into modern royalty, and an unrivalled souvenir.'INSIGHTFUL' - The Independent on Sunday'PACKED WITH EXCLUSIVE PHOTOGRAPHS AND FASCINATING ANECDOTES' - OK! Magazine'Reveals charming and intimate details about the Duke, the Duchess and their son, and provides an intriguing and comprehensive insight into what the future holds for the House of Windsor'- MajestyREVISED AND UPDATED EDITION WITH EXCLUSIVE PHOTOGRAPHS BY ARTHUR EDWARDS, MBE

Stickin': The Case for Loyalty


James Carville - 2000
    Unfortunately, there's some truth to that: there are few places in the world where the turncoats and careerists are so highly rewarded and where loyalty is equated with stupidity. Luckily, another bit of wisdom about the Beltway is also true: the people in Washington aren't like the ones in the rest of the country. The American people treasure loyalty. They stick by a friend when he needs them. They forgive him when he's wrong. They understand the difference between politics and friendship. They are true to their ideals and their schools, loyal to their families and their God.In "Stickin'," the always colorful and insightful political strategist James Carville, who has been accused of being loyal, examines this much-maligned and misunderstood political good. Along the way, he looks at loyalty in the family and among friends, in theory and in practice. He praises some loyal people and skewers some deserving backstabbers. And, of course, it wouldn't be a Carville book if he didn't provide recipes for some good home cooking.

Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly


Joseph Minton Amann - 2006
    He calls for boycotting Canada, says Adolf Hitler would have been a card-carrying member of the ACLU, and thinks Hurricane Katrina victims seen carrying televisions should be shot on sight. Amann and Breuer – the creators of the hugely popular website www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com — take a close look at O'Reilly's own assertions and arguments — taken from his TV and radio shows, books and columns — to expose him for what he is: a self-righteous boob and a sham newsman. The ongoing themes explored in Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly are that O'Reilly is a bit crazy, not all that sharp and, as the authors put it, about "as self-aware as a legume." The result is a hilariously funny book, a great read for anyone who enjoys seeing a puffed-up blowhard taken down a notch or two — whether they're an O'Reilly hater, fan, or something in between.

Victor in the Rubble


Alex Finley - 2016
    On assignment in West Africa in a post-9/11 world, he is tasked with hunting down the terrorist Omar al-Suqqit, who is looking to launch his group of ragtag militants onto the international jihadi stage. But chasing a terrorist proves an easier challenge than managing his agency’s bureaucracy. Omar, meanwhile, faces his own bureaucratic struggles as he joins forces with a global terrorist group that begins micro-managing its franchises in an effort to streamline attacks. When Victor appears on his own country’s Terrorist Watch List and Omar finds himself struggling to write “Lessons Learned” in the suicide bomber program, they each realize they might have a common enemy: red tape.

Stories from a Theme Park Insider


Robert Niles - 2011
    What time is the 3:00 parade? Why does a child need to be 40 inches tall to ride a roller coaster? What happens when the president of France gets lost inside Pirates of the Caribbean? A former employee, or "cast member", at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom answers these and other questions while sharing humorous stories about working inside the world's most popular theme park."Stories from a Theme Park Insider" takes you inside the park's famous tunnels and backstage for a look at how theme parks really work, and the funny moments and embarrassments that can happen when your work is someone else's vacation.

Works by David Sedaris: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim


Books LLC - 2010
    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything


Frank J. Fleming - 2011
    It was a time of hatred, racism, violence, obese children, war, untaxed rich people, and incandescent light bulbs -- perhaps the worst days we had ever seen. And at the heart of it all was a thuggish, thoughtless man, George W. Bush, who lashed out angrily at whatever he didn't understand -- and he understood so very little. Then there was that laugh of his -- that horrible snicker that mocked everything intelligent and nuanced. Also, he looked like a chimp. It seemed like the end for the United States of America. We would crumble in the hands of vicious, superstitious dimwits determined to hunt "ter'ists" or other figments of Bush's rotten mind. There was nothing left to do but head to Whole Foods to prepare our organic, sustainable, fair-trade last meal as the country ended around us. Despair had overtaken us, and we wondered aloud whether we could ever feel hope again. And then a man emerged who firmly answered, "Yes we can!" Oh, but Barack Obama was no mere man. He was a paragon of intelligence and civilized society. A savior to the world's depressed. A lightbringer. A genius thinking thoughts the common man could never hope to comprehend. And his words -- his beautiful words read from crystal panes -- reached down to our souls and told us all would be well. With the simple act of casting a ballot for Barack Obama, we could make the world an immeasurably better place -- a world of peace, of love, of understanding, of unicorns, of rainbows, of expanded entitlements. This was his promise. And now, having had him as president for more than two years, we can say without reservation that he has delivered all his promises and more and is the best president this country -- or any country -- has ever had or could even imagine to have.