Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.

    His frustration at the situation is palpable, but when he's taken home by good-looking Hamilton, his plan is to win over his new owner and make his escape? However, after a few weeks with Hamilton, does he want to make a complete escape, or just stop being caged? If you like foul-mouthed tiny shifters whose surly attitudes are many times bigger than their physical presence, then this may be the book for you.

    Try, "I was overcome by the urge to alphabetize my pets," or perhaps a simple "Had ninja trouble." Steve has used both these excuses, and here they are hilariously illustrated. He also has claimed to have become temporarily feral, accidentally sold himself on eBay, and gotten stuck in a romantic montage. An illustration of Steve with Darth Vader accompanies the inarguable excuse "I was seduced by the Dark Side." He also gets lost in his duvet, and discovers he has a rather unusual superpower.

     Filled with stories about injuries sustained while patients were not thinking so clearly, sad tales that reveal the not-so-funny side of the emergency room, things I've learned after years of being in this position, and signs you work in the ER, this condensed book has just enough to tickle your funny bone and then make you cry.

    And this scene should appear in the story at some point. Have fun with it! I want to laugh.Anything else you want to do with it is fine by me.Photo Description: In the picture we see a cheetah in full run, chasing an ostrich through a steppe-like landscape. The ostrich’s wings are spread, his feathers ruffled, as he tries to escape the faster, but physically weaker, cat. Above those two, we see the line SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT.This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love is an Open Road" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story. This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.

    He has one chance to redeem himself before he’s thrown into a nasty pit. All Brian has to do is save the life of Kevin Anderson, a boy he and his friends tormented for being gay. Kevin thought he’d finally escaped bullying. But his college roommate, Chuck, and his homophobic pals, prove him wrong. Now he can only wait for another room to open up—and try to keep his eyes off sexy, uber-straight Chuck. Chuck is struggling to keep up the tough-guy façade everyone expects, but being trapped in a dorm room with the prettiest twink he’s ever seen isn’t helping him keep his feelings hidden. If Brian can untangle this mess, he’ll deserve his wings.

    It's a far cry from the heady days when he led his band, The Shooting Tsars, to the top of the charts and sell-out tours and festivals around the world.An unwelcome phone call from his deceitful ex-manager, Chas Dupont, sets in motion a chain of events that seems unstoppable.Can Will get his fractured band back together and rediscover his mojo? Are Chas Dupont's motives purely altruistic? Who are the musical mafia? And are the legendary rumours about the lost "Bloom Tape" true?

    Unfortunately, the Bispham is on duty, and he's taken exception to the Rove Captain and his men."Master of the Winds," by Sharon Lee follows two hopeful young people during their test to become the Kitemaster's apprentice. Only one can succeed.Lee and Miller join forces in "Candlelight," the story of a family-by-intent, and the craft that holds them together.

    She is always the first on the dancefloor and the very last to stop boogying. She has never tried to dress like a Parisian, never followed advice on what not to wear, and certainly has never tried to tone down her natural pinkness; she knows he is perfect just the way she is. And even when life throws Flamingo a curveball, she is always ready to embrace the unknown and jump straight in.A gorgeous little gift book of motivational sayings and hilarious axioms, Be a Flamingo is a perfect pink pick-me-up gift for a friend who needs a confidence boost, or great as an impulse self-purchase when you feel you need to start tooting your own horn a little louder. Because we could all do worse than taking a leaf out of Flamingo's book.

    With peace in their lands, Levi and Reece have been living a life of serenity and peace, raising their three young children at Oxley Manor. Everything seems perfect and well until Levi realizes something: a holiday he knows his wife as always loved on her home planet of Earth has never been celebrated in his realm. In fact, Reece hasn't had the privilege of enjoying her favorite holiday in over six years, and Levi vows to change that. But can he? With his sister's wedding at hand, his own daughter professing her love for another as well, and wanting to have a new holiday introduced to Pemdas...Levi is determined to find a way to make all of this work no matter the sacrifices he must make.

    His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all.On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams - and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    Instead, he found himself face to face—quite literally—with the supernatural. But really, the whimpering vampire nursing a hangover wasn’t exactly threatening (although Ross is pretty sure he shouldn’t have given that energy drink to a goblin…).As Ross proves he is not easily shaken, more and more creatures of the night come calling, including the clanmaster himself. Ross isn’t sure what to think about Glenn, but the handsome vampire has made it clear what he thinks of Ross—and with that attention comes an offer he’s not sure he wants.At least, until a little fire sprite convinces him otherwise, because he’s definitely not paid enough for this. Tags:Poor put upon retail workers, Ross didn’t deserve this, Fate is cruel, so am I, sexy vampires, Australian wizards, supernats love energy drinks for some reason, the trauma of changing jobs, crack, so much crack, not a single degree of chill from Glenn where Ross is concerned, slow burn, only one gas station was harmed in the making of this story

    One problem: He's a human in an alien-majority district that hasn't voted in a human in half a century. Can Sawyer pull it off in a race that includes a politically smooth, physically gelatinous front runner, a carnivore whose entire platform is on the right to consume pets, and two literally bile-spewing sisters? A tale of aliens, politics and humor from the author of "Old Man's War" and "The Android's Dream".