Wall of Kiss


Gina Ranalli - 2007
    A wall. Sometimes love blooms in the strangest of places... What would happen if a woman, tired of previous broken relationships, instead fell in love with her wall? Would she be spurned yet again, or would it be a match made in heaven? Gina Ranalli is the author of Suicide Girls in the Afterlife, 13 Thorns (with outsider artist Gus Fink) and Chemical Gardens.

The Egg Said Nothing


Caris O'Malley - 2010
    He's your average shut-in with a penchant for late night television and looting local fountains for coins. With eight locks on his door and newspapers covering his windows, he's more than a bit paranoid too.His wasn't a great life, but it was comfortable—at least it was until the morning he awoke with an egg between his legs. But what might have been a curse becomes a charm as this unlikely event leads him to all night diner, where he finds inedible pie, undrinkable coffee, and the girl of his dreams.But can this unexpected chance at love survive after the egg cracks and time itself turns against him, dead-set on rerouting history and putting a shovel to the face of the one person who could bring real and lasting change to Manny's world?

The Bizarro Starter Kit (Orange)


Carlton Mellick IIIJohn Edward Lawson - 2006
    Its name: BIZARRO. For years, readers have been asking for a category of fiction dedicated to the weird, crazy, cult side of storytelling that has become a staple in the film industry (with directors such as David Lynch, Takashi Miike, Tim Burton, and Lloyd Kaufman) but has been largely ignored in the literary world, until now. The Bizarro Starter Kit features short novels and story collections by ten of the leading authors in the bizarro genre: D. Harlan Wilson, Carlton Mellick III, Jeremy Robert Johnson, Kevin L Donihe, Gina Ranalli, Andre Duza, VIncent W. Sakowski, Steve Beard, John Edward Lawson, and Bruce Taylor.

The Single Girl's To-Do List


Lindsey Kelk - 2011
    Rachel doesn’t know it, but it will take her on all kinds of wild adventures – and get her in some romantic pickles too. And then it won't be a case of what but who she decides to tick off…• Mr. bendy yoga instructor• Mr. teenage sweetheart• Mr. persistent ex• Mr. deeply unsuitableThe Single Girl’s To-Do List gives Rachel the perfect heartbreak cure – and proves love is out there if you’re willing to take a chance.

Pus Junkies


Shane McKenzie - 2014
    Zits cover his entire body; his skin is aflame with bright red, pus-filled sores. He has become an outcast in his school and the other kids call him Toad.But what they don't know is the pus leaking from Kip's acne is actually a powerful narcotic that produces strong psychedelic effects. Soon, everyone in school will want a taste of his hallucinogenic cream and this former-loser will become the most popular kid in school. But once you lick the Toad, there's no going back to normal drugs. His classmates just can't get enough. And as their addiction grows, they will stop at nothing to get it...In the spirit of Street Trash and Class of Nukem' High comes a novel about growing up, finding yourself, and tripping on bodily fluids. Shane McKenzie and Eraserhead Press present a bizarro high school drama drenched in Technicolor-splatter!

Last Call


Alice Clayton - 2015
    Settling in, but never settling down, Caroline has finally struck a balance between the professional and the personal. As one of the top interior designers in San Francisco, she travels all over Northern California between nook time with Simon.Perpetual globetrotter Simon has cut his frequent flyer miles in half over the last year, preferring to balance his professional and personal life, as well.The next step in their lives seems preordained—toasts, veils, and the aisle of rose petals. But when an accident on a photo shoot in Southeast Asia brings Caroline the most terrifying phone call she could ever imagine, she has to ask whether “till death do us part” is a more realistic prospect than faces most couples.It’s been a grand adventure, and Caroline and Simon wouldn’t go out without the best surprise ending ever. One part sexy, one part laughter, a dash of exotic locales, and one pink nightie, mixed with passion, and you’ve got Last Call. Served with a side of Clive. - See more at: http://books.simonandschuster.com/Las...

Maybe Not


Colleen Hoover - 2014
    It could be an exciting change.Or maybe not.Especially when that roommate is the cold and seemingly calculating Bridgette. Tensions run high and tempers flare as the two can hardly stand to be in the same room together. But Warren has a theory about Bridgette: anyone who can hate with that much passion should also have the capability to love with that much passion. And he wants to be the one to test this theory.Will Bridgette find it in herself to warm her heart to Warren and finally learn to love?Maybe.Maybe not.

Shatnerquake


Jeff Burk - 2009
    Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no red shirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a light saber. But these Shatner- clones are about to learn a hard lesson . . . that the real William Shatner doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even himself.

Be Careful What You Wish For


Alexandra Potter - 2006
    Not just big stuff like world peace or a date with Brad Pitt, but little, everyday wishes, made without thinking. One day she buys some heather from a gypsy and suddenly her bad hair days stop, and a handsome American answers her ad for a housemate, and she starts seeing James.

The Traveling Dildo Salesman


Kevin L. Donihe - 2011
    His selection was vast, and all models were stamped MADE IN HEAVEN.Under the watchful glare of a giant eyeball in the sky, Ralph walks door to door selling dildos. He doesn't know why he sells dildos, but he does know that with each house, and each strange customer, he moves closer to solving the mystery of the eternal dildo curse.A nightmare comedy about destiny, faith, and sex toys, The Traveling Dildo Salesman is another classic from Kevin L. Donihe, the Wonderland Award-winning author of House of Houses and Night of the Assholes.This edition also features Donihe's most lurid and infamous short stories: Milky Agitation, Two-Way Santa, The Helen Mower, Living Room Zombies, and Revenge of the Living Masturbation Rag.

Thinking Of You


Jill Mansell - 2007
    To make matters worse, the first gorgeous man she's clapped eyes on in years has just accused Ginny of shoplifting. So Ginny decides to advertise for a lodger but what she gets is lovelorn Laurel, who can only talk about her ex-boyfriend. However Laurel has a dangerously charming brother, Perry, and add to that the offer of a great new job, and things are looking up...until Ginny realises that her potential boss is all too familiar.Is it too late for Ginny to set right the first impression she made when Finn Penhaligon got quite the wrong end of the stick? And is either Finn or Perry quite what they seem?

Burning Moon


Jo Watson - 2013
    #beenthere Lilly Swanson has been planning her perfect life since she was twelve years old: Meet Mr. Right, have the big white wedding, buy a house in the burbs, and raise 2.5 picture-perfect kids. However, when her fiance bails, leaving Lilly alone at the altar to face five hundred gossipy guests, her dream turns into a nightmare. But then Lilly makes an impulsive decision---she ditches the dress, grabs her passport, and heads off to Thailand to spend her honeymoon alone. Or so she thinks . . . Because Lilly quickly learns that everything in Thailand is very hot: the weather, the merchandise, and especially Damien---the sexy, spontaneous man she meets before her feet even hit the sand. Now with no plan, and nothing holding her back, Lilly lets Damien lead her on a wild, unpredictable ride to the world's most exclusive party, Burning Moon. But after a week of letting go, indulging her every impulse and desire, Lilly must go back to the girl she used to be. Or can Damien convince her that their party doesn't have to end? "Top Pick! Almost a Bride put a smile on my face more than once. The dialogue was witty, the words were well-written and the heroine was one-of-a-kind." -- Harlequin Junkie

The Bridgertons: Happily Ever After


Julia Quinn - 2013
    Eight brothers and sisters, assorted in-laws, sons and daughters, nieces and nephews, (not to mention an overweight corgi), plus an irrepressible matriarch who’s a match for any of them… These are the Bridgertons: less a family than a force of nature. Through eight bestselling novels, readers laughed, cried, and fell in love. But they wanted more.And so the readers asked the author…What happened next? Does Simon ever read his father’s letters? Do Francesca and Michael become parents? Who would win in a Pall Mall grudge match?Does “The End” really have to be the end?Now, with The Bridgertons: Happily Ever After, Julia Quinn delivers eight sexy, funny, and heartwarming “2nd epilogues,” plus a bonus story about none other than the wise and witty Violet Bridgerton herself. So get to know the Bridgertons all over again—because Happily Ever After is a whole lot of fun.

Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland


Melinda DuChamp - 2012
    Her boyfriend is nice and polite, but he's also quick and careless in bed, and doesn't give Alice the attention and variety she craves. But he's not entirely to blame, because Alice herself doesn't understand her own needs. She's heard about what sex is supposed to be like, but has never felt anything remotely close to what she's read about in runaway bestselling books.Then Alice follows a vibrating white rabbit down a deep, dark hole, which leads to a place beyond her wildest imagination. There are no nice boys--or girls--down here. Only those who indulge in secret, forbidden, kinky fantasies. Alice is confused and frightened and... aroused. She is bound. Teased. Spanked. Toyed. Brought to the limits of sexual endurance. And during her trials, she begins to understand her body's needs for the very first time.This isn't the fairy tale you grew up reading. This isn't for children at all.This is for those with dark desires, who wish to explore erotic excess beyond the plain vanilla of everyday life. Follow Alice down the rabbit hole, if you dare...

Shopaholic on Honeymoon


Sophie Kinsella - 2014
    So as a free update for Shopaholic fans, I have decided to share with you one of the adventures of the newly-wed Becky and Luke. I hope you enjoy it! Love Sophie xThe new Mr and Mrs Brandon are on honeymoon, and Becky has big plans! They’ve got a whole year to explore Venice, learn yoga in India, sleep in little wooden huts in South America… maybe even see penguins in the Antarctic. And of course they’ll need to buy just a few essential souvenirs along the way (everyone needs a set of Murano glass goblets, after all).They’re not just tourists, they’re travellers. Becky is sure it is just the thing that Luke needs – time to unwind. He’ll come back a changed man… with all the good bits still intact of course.But it soon becomes clear that Luke has different plans entirely. Can Becky help him let go, or will this little disagreement threaten their whole honeymoon?