Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    In late nineteenth-century England, two stage illusionists are drawn into a match of wits, each desiring to annihilate the reputation of the other. Upper-class Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman) enjoys worldwide fame, while cockney Alfred Borden (Christian Bale) is his most ardent rival. Their antagonism is also a mutual fascination, but the competition between them leads to evermore dangerous acts of conjuring. When Angier raises the stakes by consulting scientist Nikola Tesla (David Bowie), the potential for a deadly reckoning draws near. This volume contains an Introduction by Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan.

    Incomprehensible horrors from beyond are going to devour our world but that’s no excuse to get all emotional about it. Morag Murray works for the secret government organisation responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder and, if she’s got time, prevent her own inevitable death. The first book in a new comedy series by the creators of ‘Clovenhoof’, Oddjobs is a sideswipe at the world of work and a fantastical adventure featuring amphibian wannabe gangstas, mad old cat ladies, ancient gods, apocalyptic scrabble, fish porn, telepathic curry and, possibly, the end of the world before the weekend.

    Brian Jackson, a working-class kid on full scholarship, has started his first term at university. He has a dark secret—a long-held, burning ambition to appear on the wildly popular British TV quiz show University Challenge—and now, finally, it seems the dream is about to become reality. He's made the school team, and they've completed the qualifying rounds and are limbering up for their first televised match. (And, what's more, he's fallen head over heels for one of his teammates, the beautiful, brainy, and intimidatingly posh Alice Harbinson.) Life seems perfect and triumph inevitable—but as his world opens up, Brian learns that a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

    Her husband's left her. Her son's obsessed with the End of the World. And now her elderly neighbour Mrs Shapiro has decided they are related.Or so the hospital informs her when Mrs Shapiro has an accident and names Georgie next of kin. This, however, is not a case of a quick ward visit: Mrs Shapiro has a large rickety house full of stinky cats that needs looking after and that a pair of estate agents seem intent on swindling from her. Plus there are the 'Uselesses' trying to repair it (uselessly). Then there's the social worker who wants to put her in a nursing home. Not to mention some letters that point to a mysterious, painful past.As Georgie tries her best to put Mrs Shapiro's life back together, somehow she must stop her own from falling apart.

    Screenplay for the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

    Rowling's screenwriting debut is captured in this exciting hardcover edition of the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them screenplay.When Magizoologist Newt Scamander arrives in New York, he intends his stay to be just a brief stopover. However, when his magical case is misplaced and some of Newt's fantastic beasts escape, it spells trouble for everyone…Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them marks the screenwriting debut of J.K. Rowling, author of the beloved and internationally bestselling Harry Potter books. Featuring a cast of remarkable characters, this is epic, adventure-packed storytelling at its very best.Whether an existing fan or new to the wizarding world, this is a perfect addition to any reader's bookshelf.

    

    Ben and Rachel. It was them against the world. Until it all fell apart.It’s been a decade since they last spoke, but when Rachel bumps into Ben one rainy day, the years melt away.From the moment they met they’d been a gang of two; partners in crime and the best of friends. But life has moved on. Ben is married. Rachel is definitely not. In fact, the men in her life make her want to take holy orders…Yet in that split second, Rachel feels the old friendship return. And along with it, the broken heart she’s never been able to mend.If you love David Nicholls and Lisa Jewell then this is the book for you. Hilarious, heartbreaking and everything in between, you’ll be hooked from their first ‘hello’.

    Having filched each other's horses, and fought and fornicated their way around the capitals of Europe, the feud between the two men finally erupts with devastating consequences during the Los Angeles Olympics.

    Having blasted onto the small screens with his now legendary sitcom Spaced, his rise to nation's favourite son status has been mercurial, meteoric, megatronnic, but mostly just plain great.From his childhood (and subsequently adult) obsession with Star Wars, his often passionate friendship with Nick Frost, and his forays into stand-up which began with his regular Monday morning slot in front of his 12-year-old classmates, this is a joyous tale of a homegrown superstar and a local boy made good.

    But Robin has a cunning plan - his marrying of the crossword and sudoku into his devilish 'crossoku', which might just make their fortune.

    That's the good news. The rest is Amis as usual, providing fun for himself and his readers at the expense of his characters.

    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

    It premiered in April 2000 at the Gielgud Theatre, Shaftesbury Avenue, London, starring Kathleen Turner as Mrs RobinsonCalifornia in the 60s. Benjamin's got excellent grades, very proud parents and, since he helped Mrs Robinson with her zipper, a fine future behind him… A cult novel, a classic film, a quintessential hit of the 60s, now Benjamin's disastrous sexual odyssey is brought vividly to life in this world stage premiere production."Terry Johnson is that rare creature: a moralist with wit. He writes with responsible gaiety" (Guardian)