Epic Text Fails! 2: More Funniest Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers, and Smartphone Mishaps


Marcus Rainey - 2014
    Yes, it is really that good." "This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!" Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

Minecraft: Diary of a Friendly Minecraft Creeper


Funny Comics - 2015
    He’s friendly to everyone and would really like to make some non creeper friends. However most of the beings he encounters seem to be scared of him. Can the friendly creeper convince those he meets that he means them no harm or will he be forced to become a dangerous creeper like his peers? Read this illustrated story to find out! ACT NOW! Click the orange BUY button at the top of this page!

The Mailman Went UA (A Vietnam Memoir)


David Mulldune - 2013
    I can sanitize my manuscript and give the reader a false sense of how war reduces the humanity of an individual. Not only that, but sanitizing the past distorts history and lulls a person into a nonchalant manner of behavior in determining courses of action. The end result is that I would defeat the purpose that compelled me to write my book in the first place. So what is the point? I hope that you understand what I am trying to achieve. As I put this book together over the years, I constantly questioned my ability and skill to compose my manuscript in a cohesive manner and even my right to do it, but here it is. I think the main problems were that I couldn't look at it objectively and that I tried to write it as an 18-19 year-old. I wanted to present the naiveté and immaturity, which had awesome power and control over life and death. At the same time, naiveté and immaturity could strangle you. The title, The Mailman Went UA, came from our little song and dance routine that we performed when we didn't receive any mail. It reflected the utter desolation of aloneness and heartbreak that extended beyond the lack of mail to who you were as a human being, and that impact is impossible to shake. The mail was our only touch with any degree of normalcy. It was more than a connection with the "World." It was the essential element in preserving our sanity. We were surrounded by death and destruction and became unfazed by them, but we were always hit hard when we didn't receive any mail.

Knight of Rome Part I


Malcolm Davies - 2019
    No nation can stand against his legions but even the Empire has its limits. The brooding forests across the Rhine hold warriors who will not submit and the Suevi are the mightiest of them. With only their hatred of each other in common, the Romans and the Germans cross the river to raid and slaughter but neither of them has the force to take the other’s territory and hold it. This does not prevent them trying. Otto of the Suevi, son of the Chieftain and war counsellor Badurad, lives freely among the woods and glades on the far side of the river, hoping to live the same life as his father and become a respected warrior in his turn but that is not to be. He visits a wise woman with his father and her shocking, prophetic vision of his future sets him on a different path than he could never have imagined. Fate is not to be defied so Otto accepts what she has told him as absolute truth and lets it guide him through blood and fire to his personal destiny far from his own people.

The LEGO MINDSTORMS EV3 Discovery Book: A Beginner's Guide to Building and Programming Robots


Laurens Valk - 2014
    This full color book teaches you fundamental programming and robotics skills as you build and program powerful robots that move, monitor sensors, and respond to their environments. You will build seven increasingly sophisticated robots like the BRICK SORT3R (a robot that sorts bricks by color and size), the THE SNATCH3R (an autonomous robotic arm), and LAVA R3X (a humanoid that walks and talks). Valk also covers more advanced programming techniques like data wires and variables, and shows you how to create custom remote control programs. More than 100 building and programming challenges throughout encourage you to think creatively and to apply what you've learned to invent your own robots.

Diary of a Middle School Zombie: No Zombie Left Behind


Zack Zombie - 2019
    For a long time he's been hoping that he could get adopted by a nice human family one day. But when Zombie finally gets his wish, things quickly get out of control, and turn crazier, and funnier than everyone expects. What will you get when a 12 year old zombie goes to live with a human family? All kinds of hysterically ridiculous adventures, that's what! Want to know what kind of trouble Zombie gets into? Then Jump into This Hilarious Adventure Today! WARNING: This Book Will Cause Spontaneous Bursts of Uncontrollable Laughter Anywhere and Anytime. Not to Be Read in Quiet Places (Like the Library) or On the Toilet. From book: . . .But when you're a zombie, you have to get used to your body doing some weird things. Like one of the zombie kids I know has a really weird belly button. Actually, his belly button is a screw. The other zombie kids always ask him why he has a screw for a belly button. But he said that he really didn't know. So one time, we decided to get a screwdriver. And when we finally got the screw out, the weirdest thing happened. . . .His butt fell off. Get Your Copy Today! Kids age 8-12 will Laugh Their Heads Off while reading This Zany Comic Adventure. Perfect New Book Series to Bring the Gift of Laughter to Your 8-12 year old Son or Daughter. **Fully Illustrated with over 150 Pictures!** (A Non-Minecraft Book) Parents: This book is a must-read for children who love to laugh. Kids ages 8-12 can't wait to jump into to these adventures! Great Books for Kids age 9 12, also perfect kids epic books for ages 8, 9 , 10 , 11 , 12 and older. If you are looking for books for 8-12 year old boys and girls, these funny Zombie books are great to motivate your child to enjoy reading. What can we say? Kids love books about funny zombies!

Free Kindle eBooks Exposed - How to Download and Get Access to Thousands of Kindle Books for Free (Kindle Books, Free Kindle Books, Kindle Bookstore, Free ... Books Download, Kindle Books Best Sellers)


Chris Simpson - 2014
    Yes, you read that right; you can now get to read the books you want and more by learning how to download E-books from the internet. While it may be true that it’s good to have paperback copies of books, with the craziness of life these days, it’s also good to just have Kindle copies of books so that you can read them wherever you may be—as long as you have your Kindle device with you. The best thing about E-books is the fact that there is a vast selection of them online, depending on the genre, plus there are also free E-books that you can get from sites such as Amazon, Smashwords, and others from time to time. Ready to get those free E-books already? Then read this book, turn on your computers/Kindle devices, and start downloading! Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn... Free Classic E-books Free Romance E-books Bestseller for Free Young Adult E-books for Free Horror, Suspense, and Mystery E-books for Free Advance Review Copies and Other Websites where You Can Download Kindle E-books for Free Much, much more! Download your copy today! Tags: kindle books, free kindle books, kindle bookstore, free kindle books mystery and suspense, free kindle book downloads, kindle books best sellers, kindle books free best sellers, kindle books on sale, kindle books free top 100

Introducing Elixir: Getting Started in Functional Programming


Simon St.Laurent - 2013
    If you're new to Elixir, its functional style can seem difficult, but with help from this hands-on introduction, you'll scale the learning curve and discover how enjoyable, powerful, and fun this language can be. Elixir combines the robust functional programming of Erlang with an approach that looks more like Ruby and reaches toward metaprogramming with powerful macro features.Authors Simon St. Laurent and J. David Eisenberg show you how to write simple Elixir programs by teaching you one skill at a time. You’ll learn about pattern matching, recursion, message passing, process-oriented programming, and establishing pathways for data rather than telling it where to go. By the end of your journey, you’ll understand why Elixir is ideal for concurrency and resilience.* Get comfortable with IEx, Elixir's command line interface* Become familiar with Elixir’s basic structures by working with numbers* Discover atoms, pattern matching, and guards: the foundations of your program structure* Delve into the heart of Elixir processing with recursion, strings, lists, and higher-order functions* Create processes, send messages among them, and apply pattern matching to incoming messages* Store and manipulate structured data with Erlang Term * Storage (ETS) and the Mnesia database* Build resilient applications with the Open Telecom Platform (OTP)* Define macros with Elixir's meta-programming tools.

Ctrl+Shift+Enter Mastering Excel Array Formulas: Do the Impossible with Excel Formulas Thanks to Array Formula Magic


Mike Girvin - 2013
    Beginning with an introduction to array formulas, this manual examines topics such as how they differ from ordinary formulas, the benefits and drawbacks of their use, functions that can and cannot handle array calculations, and array constants and functions. Among the practical applications surveyed include how to extract data from tables and unique lists, how to get results that match any criteria, and how to utilize various methods for unique counts. This book contains 529 screen shots.

Hole in the Wall


Tevin Hansen - 2014
    Together, they must complete three dangerous quests, locate the unicorn, and help Evan find his way home before Queen Mother destroys everything--and before the Fartleks go berserk, or the Seven Knights of the Week throw them in jail, or King Flibbertigibbet freaks out again, or the Dancing Danes try to make their lives unbearably happy.

Mystery Underground: States of Emergency (A Collection of Scary Short Stories)


David Anthony - 2014
    Read a scare … if you dare! Mystery Underground is a collection of scary short stories for kids, middle grade readers, and everyone who likes a good scare. The stories combine the monsters and mystery of Goosebumps with the surprise endings of The Twilight Zone. They are the perfect scary stories to read in the dark, around the campfire, or under the covers at night with a flashlight. States of Emergency includes six short stories from the first three books in the Mystery Underground series. #1: HAPPY HAIRY BIRTHDAY WALLED LAKE, MICHIGAN It’s Cody Wolf’s birthday and a party waits for him. To get there, he takes a dangerous short cut. Halfway along, a snarling werewolf appears in his path. Cody runs but the werewolf pursues. The chase in on! #2: ZOMBIE KING MIDLAND, MICHIGAN Bryce doesn’t want to dress up as something silly for Halloween. He wants to be a zombie. He even calls himself the zombie king. Does he get his wish in the graveyard on a haunted foggy night? #3: DEEP GREEN SEA PENSACOLA, FLORIDA Emma and her family return wearily home after a hurricane. The devastation left behind looks like a zombie apocalypse. But are zombies the scariest things that can rise from the ruin? #4: SECRET OF THE SINKHOLE GAINESVILLE, FLORIDA Brady, Calvin, and Troy discover a sinkhole in a Florida orange grove. There are police cars and flashing lights all around, but no other people. When they climb into the hole, the boys discover the frightening truth about how—and what—causes sinkholes to form. #5: TAR PIT TERROR LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA The fossils of many prehistoric animals—from dire wolves to mastodons—have been found in the La Brea Tar Pits. When Liam and Charlotte discover a saber-toothed cat’s paw, they realize that not all fossils want to be found. #6: NO. 13 PENCIL SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA Jackson is an amazing artist. His drawings of monsters, beasts, and witches are realistic and terrifying. What happens when the creatures come to life? ALSO AVAILABLE #1: MICHIGAN MONSTERS Dive into Terror in the Great Lakes State #2: FRIGHTENING FLORIDA Fear Strikes Florida When the Sunshine State Goes Dark #3: CALIFORNIA CREATURES Beware the Glitter of the Golden State

Banjo for Dummies [With CD-ROM]


Bill Evans - 2007
     Packed with over 120 how-to photos and 130 musical examples. 94 track CD included - hear and play along with every exercise and song. The only book to offer instruction in clawhammer, bluegrass, melodic, single-string, minstrel and classic styles. From Earl Scruggs’ driving bluegrass picking to the genre-busting jazz fusion of Béla Fleck and the multi-million selling movie soundtrack  O Brother Where Are Thou?, the five-string banjo can be heard just about everywhere in American music these days. Banjo For Dummies is the most complete guide to the five-string banjo ever written. It covers everything you need to get into the banjo: including how to choose, tune and care for your instrument, developing a good playing posture, fretting your first chords and getting comfortable with the left and right hand picking patterns used for clawhammer and bluegrass playing techniques. You’ll then add the left hand, spicing up your playing with slides, hammer-ons, pull-offs, and chokes for an authentic five-string banjo sound. From there, you’ll move on the play 19th century minstrel style, early 20th century classic style as well as try your hand at more advanced examples of bluegrass style. An in-depth chapter on bluegrass music explores Scruggs licks and techniques as well as melodic and single-string styles, with song examples. Also included is a banjo buyer’s guide, a section on music theory as applied to bluegrass and old-time music, an accessories guide (advice on cases, picks, straps,metronomes, computer aids and much more), information on how to find a good teacher, banjo camp or festival, chord charts, bios of twelve influential players, practice tips and much, much more! Banjo For Dummies is accessible and fun to read and it’s easy to locate just what you’re interested in playing. Included are 20 songs including several new compositions written by the author just for this book, including Reno Rag (single-string style), “Winston’s Jig” (Irish three-finger), and “Everyday Breakdown” (Scruggs style). All musical examples are played slowly on the accompanying CD, many with guitar and mandolin accompaniment. Bill Evans is one of the world’s most celebrated banjo players and teachers. He has taught thousands of people to play the five-string banjo in private lessons and group workshops literally all over the world. In addition to leading the Bill Evans String Summit, Bill has performed with Dry Branch Fire Squad, David Grisman, Peter Rowan, Tony Trischka and many others and he hosts his own acclaimed banjo camp, the NashCamp Fall Banjo Retreat in the Nashville area. As an American music historian, he has taught at San Francisco State University, the University Virginia and Duke University. He has written a popular instructional column for Banjo Newsletter magazine for the last fifteen years and hosts three popular instructional DVDs for AcuTab Publications. To learn more about Bill, visit his homepage at www.nativeandfine.com.

Guitar Theory For Dummies: Book + Online Video & Audio Instruction


Desi R. Serna - 2013
    With an approachable and engaging style, Guitar Theory For Dummies goes beyond guitar basics, presenting the guidance intermediate to advanced players need to improve their improvisational and compositional skills. Plus, with access to audio tracks and video instruction online you can master the concepts and techniques covered in the book. Key content coverage includes: pentatonic and major scale patterns; the CAGED chord system, chord progressions, and playing by numbers; roots, keys, and applying scales, plus modes and modal scales; intervals and chord extensions; popular song references and theory applications that help you understand how to play popular music and contemporary guitar styles, and create music of your own. This title also features companion audio tracks and video content hosted online at Dummies.com The expert instruction and easy-to-digest information provides comprehensive guidance on how to apply music theory concepts to fretted instruments If you already have a handle on the basics and want to know more about the building blocks and theory behind guitar music, Guitar Theory For Dummies has you covered.

Adventures in Cutie Patootie Land and The Dreamy Berry Cookie Contest (the hilarious adventure for children ages 7-12


Starrie Sky - 2013
    Zonk is at it again, with his taking-over-the-world schemes, and this time he’s really outdone himself, or so he thinks! Mr. Zonk creates an army of Crumb Crunching Cookie Monsters to eat not only Olga’s Dreamy Berry Cookies, but ALL of the cookies in all of Cutie Patootie Land! OH NO!! How will the girls stop them before it’s too late!? Will Olga and her friends find a way to stop the Crumb Crunching Cookie Monsters from ruining the fair, and still enter the contest? Will the Crumb Crunching Cookie Monsters eat ALL the Dreamy Berry Cookies? Will the little Crumb Crunchers eat ALL the cookies in Cutie Patootie Land? Will Mr. Zonk actually take over the world? ˃˃˃ Find out when Heidi, Arika, and Olga set out on another wild and crazy adventure as they team up once again to rescue Cutie Patootie Land from the sinister plots of Mr. Zonk. A new wild and wacky adventure - The Dreamy Berry Cookie Contest ˃˃˃ What Others Are Saying: 5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome, radically cool, cute book July 15, 2013 By Soleil "This book was lively and fun. It was full of vibrant colors in the pictures, and cool characters. I AM TELLING YOU NOW GET THIS BOOK!!!!!" 5.0 out of 5 stars The Cutest Book Ever May 30, 2013 By Trina Nguyen -"I'm an adult who finds this book an absolute delight to read. The story and illustrations are exciting, fun and so entertaining. A must read for all girls! I can't wait to read another book by this creative and unknown writer."5.0 out of 5 stars FUN STORY! July 30, 2013 By Joyce L. Mitchell - "FUN story on a super cute planet called Cutie Patootie Face. Very creative and the illustrations are adorable. Kids at my house loved it, especially the ten-year old." Scroll Up, Look Inside, and GRAB A CUTIE COPY TODAY!

Kids at War


E.A. Lake - 2014
    Times have worsened as the remaining fuel and valuable resources – fresh food and water – are long gone. Chances of recovery have all but disappeared; chances of survival seem grim. In a plan so backward, so unlikely to have any success, the militia of the Milwaukee area take a young nun, five teens, and a set of five “special packages” into the barren farmland of south-central Wisconsin. There, with little more than themselves for support, they are to live, to grow, and perhaps even prosper. Or maybe the militia has just removed a problem they chose not to deal with. With the help of new – yet strange – friends, their journey begins. But trouble finds them, even against their greatest hopes and fervent prayers. Worse, the militia has purchased help from a drunken recluse who may prove to be their greatest trouble of all. The second book of our greatest war, our battle for survival, begins: WWIV – Kids at War.