Before purchasing, borrowing, or stealing this book, you should be aware that it contains the answers to some of those questions, such as the following:1. Who is Lemony?2. Is there a secret organization I should know about?3. Why does Lemony Snicket spend his time researching and writing distressing books concerning the Baudelaire orphans?4. Why do all of Lemony Snicket's books contain a sad dedication to a woman named Beatrice?5. If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?Our advice to you is that you find a book that answers less upsetting questions than this one. Perhaps your librarian, bookseller, or parole officer can recommend a book that answers the question, "Aren't ponies adorable?"

    But does he have what it takes to be a teenager? He collects mutant candy, he won't venture more than four blocks from his apartment if he can help it, and he definitely doesn't like surprises. On the other hand, his best friend, Lizzy, isn't afraid of anything, even if that might get her into trouble now and then. Jeremy's summer takes an unexpected turn when a mysterious wooden box arrives in the mail. According to the writing on the box, it holds the meaning of life! Jeremy is supposed to open it on his thirteenth birthday. The problem is, the keys are missing, and the box is made so that only the keys will open it without destroying what's inside. Jeremy and Lizzy set off to find the keys, but when one of their efforts goes very wrong, Jeremy starts to lose hope that he'll ever be able to open the box. But he soon discovers that when you're meeting people named Oswald Oswald and using a private limo to deliver unusual objects to strangers all over the city, there might be other ways of finding out the meaning of life. Lively characters, surprising twists, and thought-provoking ideas make Wendy Mass's latest novel an unforgettable read.

    IT, a story about family, friendship, and...pie!When Alice's Aunt Polly, the Pie Queen of Ipswitch, passes away, she takes with her the secret to her world-famous pie-crust recipe. Or does she? In her will, Polly leaves the recipe to her extraordinarily fat, remarkably disagreeable cat, Lardo . . . and then leaves Lardo in the care of Alice.Suddenly, the whole town is wondering how you leave a recipe to a cat. Everyone wants to be the next big pie-contest winner, and it's making them pie-crazy. It's up to Alice and her friend Charlie to put the pieces together and discover the not-so-secret recipe for happiness: Friendship. Family. And the pleasure of doing something for the right reason.With Pie, acclaimed author Sarah Weeks has baked up a sweet and satisfying delight, as inviting as warm pie on a cold day. You'll enjoy every last bite.

    Down in the Quarters people pray for freedom - they sing 'bout freedom, but to keep Mas' Henley from knowin' their true feelings, they call freedom "heaven." Everybody's mind is on freedom.But it is a word that aine never showed me no picture. While fannin' this afternoon, my eyes fell on "freedom" in a book William was readin'. No wonder I don't see nothin'. I been spellin' it F-R-E-D-U-M.I put the right letters in my head to make sure I remembered their place. F-R-E-E-D-O-M. I just now wrote it. Still no picture...

    Kirsten's stories begin with her long, dangerous voyage with her family from Sweden to America. At first, Kirsten finds it difficult to get used to this strange new country. But as she makes friends and discovers what her new land has to offer, she learns the true meaning of home -- and that love is the same in any language.After a long, dangerous journey from Sweden, Kirsten and her family arrive at a tiny farm on the Minnesota frontier.

    But when Uncle Drake mysteriously disappears, Homer inherits two things: a lazy, droopy dog with no sense of smell, and a mystery.Why would his uncle call this clumsy dog his "most treasured possession?" And why did he put a gold coin on the dog's collar?And who will continue Uncle Drake's quest-to find the most coveted pirate treasure in the world?Join Homer, his sister Gwendolyn, and Dog on an adventure that will test their wits and courage as they leave their peaceful farm and head into a world where ruthless treasure hunters hide around every corner. Where they discover that Dog has a hidden talent and that treasure might be closer than they ever imagined...

    That’s what Humphrey was told when he was first brought to Room 26. And boy, is it true! In addition to having FUN-FUN-FUN in class, each weekend this amazing hamster gets to sleep over with a different student, like Lower-Your-Voice-A.J. and Speak-Up-Sayeh. Soon Humphrey learns to read, write, and even shoot rubber bands (only in self-defense, of course). With lots of friends to help, adventures to enjoy, and a cage with a lock-that-doesn’t- lock, Humphrey's life is almost perfect. If only the teacher, Mrs. Brisbane, wasn’t out to get him!Boys and girls can't help falling in love with Humphrey!

    Applewood believes there is never enough time for fun.That's why she's so happy to be homeschooled and to spend every free second outside with the trees and the brook.Then some not-so-great things happen in her world. Ida B has to go back to that Place of Slow but Sure Body-Cramping, Mind-Numbing, Fun-Killing Torture—school. She feels her heart getting smaller and smaller and hardening into a sharp, black stone.How can things go from righter than right to a million miles beyond wrong? Can Ida B put together a plan to get things back to just-about perfect again?

    With "The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary," author Jeff Kinney shared his Hollywood experience on the set and explained to readers how a major motion picture gets made. That was just the beginning of the story. Now, in this revised and expanded edition, Jeff Kinney fills in the rest of the moviemaking process with more inside stories, new artwork, and exclusive images. Also included is a special sneak peek at "Rodrick Rules," the new movie coming in March 2011. This revised and expanded edition of "The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary" is the perfect companion to the bestselling series.A NEWER, REVISED AND EXPANDED EDITION OF THIS BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary (DOG DAYS EDITION), ISBN 978-1419706424. INCLUDES 32 NEW PAGES ABOUT THE THIRD WIMPY KID MOVIE, DOG DAYS, PLUS AN ALL-NEW COVER ILLUSTRATION.

    Now they have to figure out how to get home. Can they do it before dark . . . or will they become a dinosaur's dinner?

    When Becky is accused of stealing it, she and her twin brother Toby set out to catch the real thief and prove her innocence. Clues cleverly hidden in four other books lead to a hidden treasure--and a gripping adventure.

    So when a stray puppy comes sniffling around the farm, Ricky tells it to get lost. But the puppy keeps trying to play with Ricky. And every time Ricky's Mom feeds the cats, the little dog comes running. The cats aren't sharing their food, however, and the poor pup is slowly starving. If Ricky doesn't overcome his fear, the little puppy may die -- but if he lets himself get close enough to feed it, he may find the best friend he's ever had! Winner of the Texas Bluebonnet, the Oklahoma Sequoyah and the Nebraska Golden Sower Awards.

    Grumply moves into the Victorian mansion at 43 Old Cemetery Road, hoping to find some peace and quiet so that he can crack a wicked case of writer's block. But 43 Old Cemetery Road is already occupied--by an eleven-year-old boy named Seymour, his cat, Shadow, and an irritable ghost named Olive. And they have no intention of sharing!

    In a covered wagon containing all their possessions, they make their way across the drought-stricken Midwest to the lush green valleys of southern Missouri. The journey is long and not always easy, but at the end is the promise of a new home and a new life for the Wilders.Little House on Rocky Ridge is the first book in The Rose Years, an ongoing series about another spirited girl from America's most beloved pioneer family.

    She promises to keep the insurance secret, unless someone blabs. Gabriel, who never tells on anybody, would be a perfect member of Pig City. He wants to join, too. But when Laura asks him, something goes terribly wrong. Now there are two secret clubs in Mr. Doyle's class, and guess who's the head of the new one-Gabriel! Each club is determined to topple the other, and nobody's secrets are safe.