She was one year out of college and severely depressed. Summoned by Julie's incoherent phone call, her mother raced from Ohio to New York and took her home.Psychiatrists, therapists and family tried to intervene, but nothing reached her until the day she decided to do one hopeful thing: adopt a Golden Retriever puppy she named Bunker.Dog Medicine captures in beautiful, elegiac language the anguish of depression, the slow path to recovery, and the astonishing way animals can heal even the most broken hearts and minds.

    BOOK OF THE BITCH: A Complete Guide to Understanding and Caring for Bitches

    human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.

    He's warm, cuddly, great to hold and pet-- and simply a lot of fun.But watch out! Your adorable ball of fur can be a doggone handful. Given half the chance, he may take it upon himself to eat your furniture, terrorize the kids, dig up the garden, jump on your friends, and eliminate at the most inappropriate times.Let's face it, sometimes what you get raising a puppy can be a "dog's breakfast"-- a mixed bag of happiness and hassle. In order to make it through puppyhood with your sanity still in tact, you need to enroll your pup in Puppy Preschool.Here, in Puppy Preschool, John Ross and Barbara McKinney, the country's foremost dog-training experts, reveal the benefits of early training in this definitive guide devoted exclusively to the trials and triumphs of puppy rearing. Puppy Preschool rewrites the rules on puppy training. While previous training books begin their programs when the puppy has already reached four months of age, Puppy Preschool begins educating and disciplining at just eight weeks old, the time when most puppies are brought into their new homes. Using surefire, revolutionary techniques, Ross and McKinney provide a much-needed head start on good behavior. They offer essential training rules that will be useful throughout your puppy's formative education, including information on:* The right breed for your family or your lifestyle* The ten best breeds for the home* Early leash and collar procedures* Housebreaking* Preventing unwanted chewing* Health and grooming tips* Emergency care* Essential puppy-training equipment and safe, fun toys* A breakdown of puppy development from birth to eighteen months* The best ways for small children to interact with puppiesdn0Based on the same training philosophy presented in their classic book, Dog Talk, of raising your dog from a "canine point of view," Ross and McKinney give easy-to-follow training techniques that will make puppy rearing a great experience for everyone involved.

    Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.""Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.""The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

    For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that —despite good intentions— you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages. He's Just Not That Into You —based on a popular episode of Sex and the City— educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship. This book knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from forty-five years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.” For this book, Jerry Seinfeld has selected his favorite material, organized decade by decade. In page after hilarious page, one brilliantly crafted observation after another, readers will witness the evolution of one of the great comedians of our time and gain new insights into the thrilling but unforgiving art of writing stand-up comedy.

    Impossible, you say? Not according to advertisers who flood the web with stock photos of perfect parents and children. They’d have you believe that parenting is a piece of cake, and every significant moment of family life takes place on a spotless white couch. So when Sara Given, a real mother of a real toddler, saw a picture of a radiant new mother in a cute little sundress breastfeeding her newborn in the middle of a golf course, she finally had enough. She launched a Tumblr, which is now visited by tens of thousands of new parents looking for a daily pick-me-up. Because what better way is there to deal with the stress and strain of being a new parent than laughter? The perfect gift of cheer and solidarity, Parenting Is Easy exploits the disconnect between these preposterous photos and what happens in real life, and makes every reader laugh out loud—and feel better, too, because we’re in on the joke.

    Julie Klam was thirty, single, and working as a part-time clerk in an insurance company, wondering if she would ever meet the man she could spend the rest of her life with. And then it happened. She met the irresistible Otto, her first in a long line of Boston terriers, and fell instantly in love.You Had Me at Woof is the often hilarious and always sincere story of how one woman discovered life's most important lessons from her relationships with her canine companions. From Otto, Julie realized what it might feel like to find "the one." She learned to share her home, her heart, and her limited resources with another, and she found an authentic friend in the process. But that was just the beginning. Over the years her brood has grown to one husband, one daughter, and several Boston terriers. And although she had much to learn about how to care for them-walks at 2 a.m., vet visits, behavior problems-she was surprised and delighted to find that her dogs had more wisdom to convey to her than she had ever dreamed. And caring for them has made her a better person-and completely and utterly opened her heart. Riotously funny and unexpectedly poignant, You Had Me at Woof recounts the hidden surprises, pleasures, and revelations of letting any mutt, beagle, terrier, or bulldog go charging through your world.

    . . ???I have always been a pushover when it comes to dogs ??? something my own dogs worked out a long time ago. Who else can be relied on to be that excited about seeing you first thing, day in day out???? Mary, Tina and Arthur are the four-footed members of the Clunes family ??? scrapping, sleeping, leaping, wagging and licking. But there???s too much of the scrapping, and the hierarchy is a complicated structure that has been bent and broken. Martin Clunes set off on a worldwide adventure to film ITV???s A Man and His Dogs and sought to discover where dogs come from and how they evolved into our companions and the working dogs of today. Along the way he also learned about the social structure of a wolf pack, survival skills of dingoes in Australia and wild dogs in Africa, among other things. In the wild, social rules are obeyed or fur flies, but nature has been pretty vicious in Martin???s own back yard as well. The battle to stop the fighting between Tina and Mary has included ventures into therapy, training classes, dog psychiatry, diet and tough love. Through the adventures of this delightful, closely-knit family, with their horses and chickens and dogs, we learn about the soft-hearted actor who is Martin Clunes. Fond, funny and endearing, this book will enchant and fascinate in equal measure.

    She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV.She has seen both these dreams come true.At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon—from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence.Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've all suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy.

    New Life, No Instructions is about the surprising way life can begin again, at any age.   “What do you do when the story changes in midlife? When a tale you have told yourself turns out to be a little untrue, just enough to throw the world off-kilter? It’s like leaving the train at the wrong stop: You are still you, but in a new place, there by accident or grace, and you will need your wits about you to proceed.   “Any change that matters, or takes, begins as immeasurably small. Then it accumulates, moss on stone, and after a few thousand years of not interfering, you have a glen, or a waterfall, or a field of hope where sorrow used to be.   “I suppose all of us consider our loved ones extraordinary; that is one of the elixirs of attachment. But over the months of pain and disrepair of that winter, I felt something that made the grimness tolerable: I felt blessed by the tribe I was part of. Here I was, supposedly solo, and the real truth was that I had a force field of connection surrounding me.   “Most of all I told this story because I wanted to say something about hope and the absence of it, and how we keep going anyway. About second chances, and how they’re sometimes buried amid the dross, even when you’re poised for the downhill grade. The narrative can always turn out to be a different story from what you expected.”

    User-friendly, chop-licking recipes like Fido’s Fishcakes, Potluck Polenta, and Peanut Butter and Coconut Cakes call for healthy ingredients you can find in your local grocery store (or may already have at home) to create balanced, nutritious meals for a healthier, happier dog. Headnotes provide nutrition information, cooking tips, and anecdotes from the author about her own four dogs to help readers transition their dogs to a homemade diet. Illustrated with a combination of irresistible color photographs of dogs and humorous line art, the book is a must-have for dog owners everywhere. A portion of the proceeds will support animal rescue.

    Before you get to the end of your leash, turn to this friendly and relatable reference that’s the next best thing to talking to a dog-owning friend who's seen it all. In Oh My Dog, animal rights activist Beth Ostrosky Stern has compiled tips and invaluable advice from experts—and from her own experience as dogowner—to sooth concerns, answer questions big and small, and help you and your dog get the most out of your relationship. From the moment you even consider getting a dog, to caring for your old friend when his puppy years are far behind him, Oh My Dog covers every angle of dog ownership, including: - Which breeds would be good match for me? - What do I look for in a vet? - How do I make sure our first night together is as stress-free as possible? - What activities will help me bond with my dog?- Is my dog showing sign of illness?- What should I know before I head to a doggie day care or park? - How do I read pet food labels? - What should I do in an emergency?Choc full of informative side bars, questionnaires, to-do lists, and much, much more, Oh My Dog is the answer-filled field guide for anybody who owns a dog or is considering getting one. Beth Ostrosky Stern