With acid tongue planted firmly in cheek, author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing takes on the president’s unsurpassed ignorance, rampant racism, shocking pettiness, vertiginous dishonesty, and more. Based on the viral Daily Kos post of the same name. Approximately 345 pages.

    That's why she invited Matthias Marshall, infamous Earl of Colchester, to her home in Upper Strickland. Who better than the legendary explorer to help her lay the perfect trap? Her scheme is simple, really: She plans to let it be known that when she inherited her uncle's collection of antiquities, she also inherited a map to a fabulous ancient treasure. She's sure that her enemy would risk financial ruin in pursuit of the mythical artifact. And to make doubly sure the scoundrel took the bait, she wants Colchester to pretend that he's out to seduce Imogene so that he, too, could get his hands on her map.Yet in all of her plotting, Imogene never anticipates Colchester's violent reaction to her request or her own electrifying reaction to him. Neither does she expect that a malevolent threat would emerge from the labyrinth of London--sinister enough to endanger her and Colchester's lives.

    Her father’s will bequeathed the land to whichever of his offspring would put in a crop and stake a claim to it. Olivia insists, “I’m sprung off him just as much as Avis or Tobey.”The problem: she’s seventeen, female, and it’s 1841.She has a friend who would make a perfect partner for this endeavor. Mourning Free knows how to run a farm, having worked many years for local farmers. More importantly, Olivia has complete trust in him and no fear of a romantic entanglement developing between them. Mourning will put in the crop for her and she will then help him buy land of his own.The problem: Mourning is black, the orphaned son of runaway slaves, and reluctant to travel and work with a white girl. He especially fears the private agents from the south who patrol the free states, hunting fugitive slaves.Olivia believes she and Mourning can make their partnership work and they set off together. All goes well, despite the drudgery of survival in an isolated log cabin. Incapable of acknowledging her feelings for Mourning, Olivia thinks her biggest problem is her unrequited romantic interest in their young, single neighbor. Then she is betrayed and violated and her world falls apart.Strong-willed, vulnerable, and compassionate, Olivia is a compelling protagonist on a journey to find a way to do the right thing in a world in which so much is wrong.Awards2010 YWO Book of the Year2013 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, Quarter-Finalist

    Teen-aged Eliza Lucas, better suited for the drawing rooms at Drayton Hall than the sun-baked fields of Wappoo Plantation, fought and overcame grief, treachery and an impossible love.  Indefatigable in purpose and energy, she was able to provide the struggling new colonies in a critical time with a staple crop—indigo—saving the faltering economy and bracing it for the battle for sovereignty.  Her strong will and streak of independence extended beyond the business world and into her personal life.With her successful cultivation of the indigo plant, Eliza Lucas Pinckney changed the economy of the  colonies, making her mark on the agricultural industry, southern society and the Crown of England.  Based on her rich letters and eloquent journals, this true story reveals the perseverance, independence and true grit that sustained this colorful woman’s journey to a better future for herself, her family, her society and our fledgling democracy.

    It was a time of hand-to-hand combat, the invention of the longbow, and real knights in armor. Simon was born in 1386, the illegitimate son of Geoffrey of Malvallet. After his mother's death in 1400, he and his half-brother, the legitimate son and heir of his father, became great friends of the Prince, fighting against France. Simon of Beauvallet is what he called himself. But as the tales of his chivalrous exploits spread throughout the realm -- even to the king's chambers -- the people who loved him would call him Simon the Lynx-Eyed... the Soft-Footed... even Simon the Lion. Indeed, Simon was all of these things. Valiant and strong, with a keen mind and fair visage, he had defied his ignoble birth to become a page, then a squire, and at last a lord of the land.Friend of kings and princes, gentle and just with his people, and known for his silence Simon seemed to lack only one emotion -- the ability to love. In truth, not even the most lovely and charming ladies of his time could stir the sleeping passion within him. For this they called him Simon the Coldheart. Until he came upon Margaret, a French Lady. The Amazon. The Tigress. After the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, he was sent to besiege Belremy, where he met the heartless beauty whose courage and strength of will were more than a match for this knight in gilded armor. Margaret, who eventually surrendered to the English and became his bride. Although he had captured her kingdom, Simon would never capture her heart....

    For centuries the Scottish and English borders were known as the Debatable lands: wild, lawless, and the province of reivers, tight-knit robber families that roamed and pillaged the remote passes without fear...Fifteen-year-old Mintie Henderson has just seen her father murdered. With the Scottish King newly dead and an army of hired reivers on the march, justice is in short supply. Then she comes across Batty Coalhouse: one-armed and hard as nails. Together they will set out on a journey of revenge.But they are soon caught up in something bigger, a tale of Mary Queen of Scots and King Henry VIII. Stuck in the heart of a tempest, they know only one way to get out alive…Fight.

    In Paris, a covert agent, a woman who inhabits a twilight of lies and death, is close to cracking a terrorist cell. And just north of the equator, a forty-foot wood-hulled sailboat, manned by a drug runner, a pirate, and two gun-slinging beauties, is witness to the unspeakable. In one instant, all around the world, for politicians and peasants, from Gaza to Geneva, things will never be the same. A wave of inexplicable energy has slammed into the continental United States. America, as we know it, is gone. . . . WITHOUT WARNING Now U.S. soldiers are fighting a war without command or control. A correspondent records horrors for no one. Washington is gone and the line of succession is in tatters; the functioning remnants of government are in Pearl Harbor, Guantánamo Bay, and one desperate, isolated corner of the Northwest. For the jihadists, it’s Allah’s miracle. For Saddam, it’s a chance to attack. Iran declares war on an America that doesn’t exist–except in the hearts and souls of the men and women who want it to.In this astounding work of alternate fiction, John Birmingham hurtles us into a scenario that is unimaginable but shatteringly real: a world of financial ruin where a cloud of noxious waste–from America’s burning cities–darkens Europe, while men and women in offices around the globe struggle to make decisions that cannot hold and opportunists unleash their secret demons.From a slick Texas lawyer who happens to be in the right place at the right time to a hard-working city engineer in Seattle who becomes his terrified city’s only hope, from the cancer-stricken secret agent to a drug runner off the Mexican coast and a U.S. general in Cuba, Without Warning tells a fast, furious story of survival, violence, and a new, soul-shattering reality.

    Georgianna Exley's passionate nature has always been her undoing, and for this reason the beautiful young widow allows her lovers only a single night in her bed. But Ivo Dauntry has come home to England, and for him she'll break her most sacred rule: granting him six nights of sensual bliss, one for every year he's given up for her... Six Years To Wait... As a gentleman born, Ivo risked his reputation and his life in a duel to defend Georgianna's honor. Now, returned from exile, Ivo discovers that she has proven to be less than a lady...and soon, his daring seduction becomes a sensual contest of wills. But the long-ago duel that bound them forever has fueled the hatred of a madman determined to make Georgianna pay for her misdeeds with her life, and once again, Ivo must risk everything to save the woman he loves...

    This text features essays on the advances made in anthropology, archaeology, astronomy and linguistics, stories of the Anasazi, the old ones of the southwestern desert and tales of the great explorers, eccentrics, dreamers, scientists, cranks and geniuses.

    But when a hit goes wrong and Schumann is nabbed, he’s offered a stark choice: kill Reinhard Ernst, the man behind Hitler’s rearmament scheme, and walk free forever—or be sent to Sing-Sing and the electric chair.The instant Paul sets foot in Berlin his mission becomes a deadly cat-and-mouse chase, with danger and betrayal lurking at every turn. For the next forty-eight hours, as the city prepares for the coming summer Olympics, Schumann stalks Ernst, while a dogged criminal police officer and the entire Third Reich security apparatus search frantically for the American. Packed with fascinating period detail and featuring a cast of perfectly realized local characters, Olympic athletes, and senior Nazi officials—some real, some fictional—Garden of Beasts dishes up breathtaking action, a wrenching look at Nazi-era Berlin, and a series of stunning plot twists. It is classic Deaver. (And there is also a slight Lincoln Rhyme connection for the discerning reader to find.)

    Solar flares have triggered a series of gargantuan natural disasters. Earth-quakes and hellfire rock the globe. Air Force One has vanished from the skies with America's president on board.Now, with the United States on the narrow brink of a nuclear apocalypse, Kirkland must pilot his oceangoing exploration ship, Deep Fathom, on a desperate mission miles below the ocean's surface. There, devastating secrets await him--and a power an ancient civilization could not contain that has been cast out into modern day, where it will forever alter a world that's already racing toward its own destruction.

    But the arrival of darkly handsome Collin Blackburn awakens her curiosity and her desire - and the advantage of being a fallen woman is that she can be ruined only once...After a promise sworn to his father, Collin Blackburn is compelled to seek the aid of the woman who brought about his brother's death in a senseless duel. Yet Lady Alexandra is not the shameless femme fatale he expected. In fact, Collin suspects she is guilty of nothing more than a hunger to experience passion, and the brawny Scot is certainly equipped to oblige. But the quick-witted, keenly sensual Alexandra has a few lessons of her own to impart - on life, love, and the delicious joys of succumbing to temptation...

    

    Two years younger than Queen Victoria, Jessica is the well-educated daughter of a deceased professor. Sole support of her widowed mother and avoiding an unacceptable marriage prospect, Jessica has secretly collected a flock of cast-off hens, and is supplementing her income hoping to improve her future.Jessica is alarmed when horsemen race headlong through the twilight on the footpath she has inadvertently cut to the henhouse. She stops the charge short of disaster to find the threat is not many horses, but one magnificent, riderless runaway. Ignorant of the dangers in handling an overwrought stallion, Jessica calms the animal. She calls him “Sweetness.”Backtracking, Jessica finds the missing rider, twenty-eight-year-old Devlin Miracle, the arrogant Twelfth Duke of Fornay, badly injured, and waiting for daylight. But, for this aristocrat, there will be no daylight. His injuries have left him blind.Struggling against their disparities, Devlin and Jessica resist, but sometimes love will not be ignored.Sensuality Level: Behind Closed Doors

    But it is the newly arrived knight, Sir Baldwin Furnshill, who discerns the deceased was no victim of a tragic mishap; he was, in fact, murdered prior to the blaze. Simon would be well-served by accepting further assistance from this astute, though haunted and secretive stranger. For a second fatal burning indicates that some harsh evil has invaded this once-peaceful place, and its hunger has yet to be sated.