Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    My Man Jeeves 1919Right Ho, Jeeves 1922Death At The Excelsior, Others 1914

    Because she and her husband, Brian, work together, they have little to talk about. And the heat between the sheets has definitely cooled. Her only diversion these days seems to be the usual neighborhood gossip. She likes to think she's inquisitive. Brian says she's a snoop.Lately, her nosy nature has escalated. She's gotten it into her head that a house down the road might be used to make adult films. Her clues? The blinds are always drawn, and there are never any garbage cans at the curb. She’s determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but if her snooping keeps uncovering unexpected dirt, it may very well be the last thing she ever does.

    Jarvis may be an all-round irritant, but he's harmless & deep down he's got a heart of gold. As his oldest (& only) friend reflects on his life with Jarvis Ham, he wonders what it would have been like if they had never met.

    

    A sinister plan, of a shrewd calculating mastermind, has set the wheels of doom in motion. He is now pulling the lynchpins across the country and making it fall into disarray. He is using everyone in his path to achieve his goals. Within thirty days he intends to control the nation’s soul. As chaos grips the country, it’s a race against time for DSP Ranbir Roy of the Intelligence Bureau and Inspector Vikram Aditya Singh to stop him before anarchy dooms the country. The pieces are set, the board is laid out but what happens when your own pawns move against you? What will be the end game?

    It's belly-laughing funny but it's also a hymn to the grand and complex game delivered with a narrative pace and ability I'm afraid most Test players don't have. For anyone who ever dreamed of excelling at a sport but never quite made it but still gave it your life, this is the story. A great read!' Tom Keneally'The Grade Cricketer has taken us so far inside a district club dressing room that you feel like a locker. Ligaments could not be closer to the bone than some of his observations.' Kerry O'Keeffe 'The Grade Cricketer is strange and, I suspect, brilliant'. Wisden

    If you have not yet bought Virgil Flowers Deadline, make sure to purchase it before buying this unofficial Sidekick. Welcome to Trippton, Minnesota, where life moves at a leisurely pace ... until your dog gets stolen, someone decides to start cooking meth next door, or the school board votes on a motion to murder you. Sandford’s beloved sleuth takes on three intertwining mysteries in Deadline, a fun and intriguing addition to the Virgil Flowers series. With this Sidekick, you’ll: • Discover some fascinating hidden gems and trivia about the novel • Spend some more time with the characters you’ve come to know and love • Learn what you might have missed on your first read • Explore possible alternate endings and imagine ideas for sequels • Get a chance to discuss the book with other readers on our Facebook forum Sidekicks are entertaining and insightful reading companions, filled with delightful commentary and thought-provoking questions. Readers have raved that Dave Eagle’s Sidekicks "really put you in touch with the many layers of the novel," "keep you entertained," and are "perfect if you want a vivid understanding of the story." Designed to be read side by side with the novels they complement, they’ll give you even more reasons to love some of today’s best books.

    Inevitably, the conversation turns to family history and Margaret says that she knows very little about her late husband's background. Madeleine offers to help but Margaret is determined to do it for herself, but says she will keep Madeleine informed. A few weeks after they return from the holiday, Madeleine and Ian are shocked to hear of the murder of their new friend in her own home. Struggling to come to terms with this, the following day they receive a package from Margaret, which includes an old newspaper cutting giving details of the murder of an elderly couple in 1966. Margaret has scrawled on the cutting 'Peter didn't do this'. What is the connection between the two events, or isn't there one? Why was Margaret so sure about her husband and was she right? Madeleine and Ian are asked by Bernard Livesey, a friend of Margaret's, to continue her work into Margaret's husband's background, but in doing so, will her own reputation be compromised? Her friend, Peter Duffy, now promoted to Chief Inspector, is striving unsuccessfully to solve his first case since his promotion, but he realises he needs Madeleine's skills to untangle the web of complex family relationships, which is the key to the case.

     It is DC Jane Dixon's first week on Kendal's CID team. Her new boss, DI Andy Hall, gives her an open file to review, and it's a far from straightforward case. A woman has died in suspicious circumstances in a Windermere caravan park, and although her husband is suspected there's not a shred of solid evidence against him. Can Jane move the case forward, or will a cold-blooded killer really get away with murder? The rest of the team is busy too, because a vulnerable teenager from a troubled family has gone missing from home. There's nothing to suggest that the boy has been abducted, so what could have caused him to run away from home? DS Ian Mann, a tough ex-military man, and DC Ray Dixon are both heavily involved in the investigation. This story introduces key members of the investigative team, as well as many of the themes that are developed in the full-length Lakeland Murders novels: including a strong sense of place, and an understanding that while justice usually prevails it is rarely complete, or completely fair. Reader reviews for the full-length novels in the Lakeland Murders series include: 'Well developed, realistic, relatable characters, great plot, believable detailed scenes, good action sequences. Recommend to those that appreciate British detective novels. Always devour Lakeland murder mysteries.' 'Love J J Salkeld's books, his understanding of police procedure, his ability to draw his characters out into real people is, I believe, up there with the best of them and it is good to find crime stories set in Cumbria for a change.' 'Salkeld is good. Not just as a writer of gripping detective stories; but even more for his feisty exposure of the lunacies of institutions, hierarchies, and power. A refreshing and enlightening anarchist - much needed in these jaded, compliant and consumptive times.'

    Everything Mark's not, Paris is a man of the world with a thirst for adventure - even his name is better than Mark's.But after a catastrophic argument, Mark finds himself setting off alone on his voyage, instead emailing an unresponsive Paris from the road. A cocktail cruise on the Seine, mindful pastry making in Foix, a graffiti tour in Barcelona: Mark will be forced to engage with life and strangers as he never has before, with poignantly recognisable results.But questions remain: will he ever be able to have an authentic interaction? Will Paris ever reply to his emails? And crucially, will he manage to write SEO friendly copy for every place he visits?After all, it's not the destination that counts: it's the homes and experiences you encounter along the way.

    Now Exeter is set to become the UK Capital of Culture and the ambitious Lord Mayor wants to turn things around. But when a young man's (dead) body is found in the centre of town, things get murky.Detective Roger LeCarre is a character never seen before in modern fiction - a tough but troubled detective with a drink problem and a marriage in trouble. Can he find out who killed the young man, save the city and change his energy provider before the new more expensive tariff kicks in?Filled with drama, eroticism and very specific Wikipedia-sourced information on Devon, Once Upon A Crime is a thriller which demands to be read.

    He aspires to be like him in every way and moulds his whole personality around armed robbery so that this is all he lives for. He holds normal working people (or plebs, as he calls them) in contempt and tries to ape Gavin without truly understanding what it is that makes him tick. When Gavin gets sentenced to 15 years in prison, Chris steps into his boots and tries to take over as head of a small crew of blaggers. He complicates things further by having an affair with Heather, Gavin's wife, while neglecting his own treacherous, money-grabbing partner, Debbie. A mistake that could cost him his life.

    Peacock’s wife thinks he did it, the police think he did it, even Frank McAlpine said he did it, moments before he died. But Peacock knows he’s innocent, and he knows he’s going to work out who really killed Frank to clear his name. But commiting crimes are more in Peacock’s line of work, he doesn’t have the first clue about how to solve one. Luckily, though, he knows a man who does, a man who owes him a favour. A second Scottish noir writer, Ian Rankin, has featured Peacock as the main villain in one of his bestselling Rebus novels- A Question of Blood. And Peacock feels he was somewhat misrepresented, made out to be much more of a hardened criminal than he actually is. He’d been planning to seek compensation from Rankin, on a massive scale, but now he sees an opportunity for Ian to make things good. If Rankin can use his detective skills to work out who actually killed Frank McAlpine then Peacock is willing to drop the action for libel. The only questions are, will Rankin agree. And is he up to the job.

    Throw into the mix a celebrated author, a dodgy solicitor, and a sponging relative, and Constable and Copper really have their work cut out!'MURDERER'S FETE' WAS FIRST PUBLISHED IN 2012 UNDER THE TITLE 'FETED TO DIE'