It’s pretty obvious if you think about it that it wasn’t a magical girdle that Aphrodite had. It was a pair of magic shoes. So where are those shoes now? Making the rounds with mortal women! Grace Gallagher would be the first to say she’s nothing special. Short, on the plump side, with a failing bookstore, she is the black sheep of her large family. More than anything she wants to live her own life, have an adventure, maybe even a little romance like in those books she hides from her parents. Then a strangely handsome man drops off a package at the shop, addressed to her. Inside are a pair of shoes.

    Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.

    In this highly readable short biography, Alexander Kennedy brings Mozart and his times vividly to life. Here we see the sweeping grandeur of the courts Mozart visited as a child prodigy, and the grasping desperation of his scheming father. We follow the composer through the flush of his first love up through his marriage to Constanze Weber, and from his first, half-plagiarized concertos to masterpieces like The Magic Flute. We watch Mozart clash with family and friends, with archbishops and emperors, and we feel again the tragedy of his mysterious early death. And above all, we hear his eternal music: music that captivated a continent, defined a genre, and changed the world. “I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings” - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Buy Now to Discover: A layperson’s explanation of the devices that made Mozart’s music unique. The complicated relationship between Mozart and his demanding father. Mozart’s love affair with his cousin Maria Anna Thekla. The surprising story behind the premiere of La nozze di Figaro. Mozart’s friendship with fellow master Joseph Haydn. The most likely cause of Mozart’s young death. Mozart’s influence on Rossini, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and more. Read Your Book Now Your book will be instantly and automatically delivered to your Kindle device, smartphone, tablet, and computer. FREE Bonus Book Buy this book now and receive instant access to your free Kindle ebook. Money Back Guarantee If you start reading our book and are not completely satisfied with your purchase, simply return it to Amazon within 7 days for a full refund. Go to Your Account -> Manage Your Content and Devices -> Find the Book -> Return for Full Refund. Buy Now and Read The True Story of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart... Thank you in advance for buying our book. We know you'll love it!

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    At the age of 15, in 1964, Lulu - born Marie Lawrie in Glasgow - was already a star with her international hit song 'Shout'. At 18 she stole hearts as an English schoolgirl to Sidney Poitier's teacher with the movie hit 'To Sir With Love'. At 21, she married a Bee Gee, Maurice Gibb, and tied as winner of the Eurovision Song Contest with 'Boom-Bang-a-Bang'. Yet in 1993 she reached No.1 with 'Relight My Fire' (with Take That). Nearly forty years at the top of the showbiz tree, Lulu has never been afraid to experiment with new trends, and her book reflects the daring that took a girl from a Glasgow tenement to international stardom - as 'To Sir With Love' says, 'from crayons to perfume'.I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT (the title of a song Lulu wrote and Tina Turner recorded) is the devastatingly candid autobiography of a singer who has never shirked from facing anything.

    The book contains the lyrics, melody, and chord symbols for eight hit songs. The CD contains demos for listening and separate backing tracks so you can sing along. The CD is playable on any CD, but it is also enhanced for PC and Mac computer users so you can adjust the recording to any pitch without changing the tempo Perfect for home rehearsal, parties, auditions, corporate events, and gigs without a backup band. This volume includes 8 top hits from the show "Hannah Montana" The Best of Both Worlds * I Got Nerve * If We Were a Movie * Life's What You Make It * Nobody's Perfect * The Other Side of Me * We Got the Party * Who Said.

    He interviewed 82 inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ... 174 recording artists who had at least one No. 1 hit. His interviews were heard daily on radio stations around the globe during much of the late ‘70s and ‘80s, until severe bipolar disorder took full control. In One Brain Cell Left, Rosy doesn’t always paint a rosy picture of the Mega-Stars he interviewed. Some were absolute sweethearts; others were absolute assholes. And they’re not always the ones you’d expect. He’s never asked what he talked about with celebrities. People only want to know what the stars were like in person. This book answers the “What were they like?” questions about a cross-section of superstar entertainers, newsmakers and athletes that Rosy interviewed. But it’s equally about the unique and unusual life that he’s led outside the entertainment industry. He REALLY didn’t want to like Paul McCartney. He found George Harrison to be completely down-to-earth. Unfortunately, he can’t say the same about Ringo. He found Madonna to be “Queen Shit with a muffin top.” Mickey Mantle swore at him. Mel Brooks ran after him. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar intentionally treated him like shit. His first words to Lionel Richie were, “So they tell me you’ve become a real asshole since you’ve gotten all this success.” And you’ll laugh at his self-deprecating chapters “Always wear a cup when you play tennis” and “Free drinks, a blind hockey goalie and a goat.” You’ll likewise be drawn in by the poignant “I’m no Belushi, but I’ve become Joe Cocker” and the riveting “A machine gun and explosives.” His stories aren’t always pretty. But they’re always pretty interesting. And he’s got the brain cell to prove it.

    (The first book, 'Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War was filmed starring Pauline Collins in the title role.) Mrs Caldicot and her colleagues from the Twilight Years Rest Home win the lottery. Their win is small but it transforms their lives in an unexpected way. A trip abroad results in disaster but Mrs Caldicot and company rise above their misfortune.

    The last thing she needs is a past, she thought had forgotten her, coming to Assjacket with one thing on its mind. Taking her back to what she ran from so very long ago, but the residents of Assjacket have a more wicked plan. Welcome back to the town of Assjacket for more wickedly hilarious mixtures of paranormal personalities

    Our story begins with falling in love with France, specifically the enchanting Dordogne. We weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. The region was an inspiration to prehistoric man, as the earliest known works of art are to be found in the nearby caves of Lascaux. From the 1000 chateaux perched on towering cliffs overhanging the meandering Dordogne River to the countless plus beaux villages (most beautiful villages) dotting the region, it is truly a magical place.The first book is a roller-coaster ride of the ups and downs of making the dream a reality, beginning with, Oh my God, are we really doing this?! To looking for the home, getting a loan, wading through the red tape of actually moving, and studying French! Finally, the most important part of making “our” dream come true, adopting a baby girl to make the journey complete.

    The hugely popular Gareth Malone recounts the heart-warming stories and transformations behind the award-winning BBC2 series The Choir

    All the money and fame in the world won’t prevent him from having a bad hair day. Or stepping in gum. Or not being able to fit into skinny jeans, or watching helplessly as a scoop of ice cream falls from its cone. Or so an unnamed Superstar’s life is ingeniously imagined in this very funny book. Inspired by but not based on Jay Z’s monster hit “99 Problems,” illustrator Ali Graham riffs on what might be the real problems afflicting a world-famous music mogul who also happens to be married to the foremost diva of our time. Begun as a Tumblr, which went viral almost instantly, 99 Problems is a highly conceptual gift book showcasing 99 full-color illustrations of a cartoon character who looks just like a certain legendary rapper, and the often ordinary and sometimes fantastical things that happen to him. And that’s where the book finds its hilarious, compulsive hook—in an age that worships celebrity and assumes, somewhat enviously, that fame and fortune can protect one from life’s travails, what if that just weren’t true? There’s a surprising, underlying warmth here. Even when the author dips into flights of pop culture fantasy—Superstar on the bow of the Titanic; Superstar whipping up a bad batch alongside Walter White from Breaking Bad—the recognition of shared kinship is strong. It’s a cartoon version of celebrity, but like the best cartoons, it’s edgy and knowing, yet sweet, too.

    Sample these nuggets of wit and wisdom chipped from the tablets of Stone:On etiquette: "I've never turned blue in someone else's bathroom. I consider that the height of bad manners."On Mick Jagger: "My aim is always to try to introduce a bit of levity into his life."On the police: "There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed everything down the john. Then the door opened and it was Stewart Copeland and Sting."On family: "My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow."On dental care: "Miraculously, due to abstinence and prayer, my teeth grew back."

    Each piece has been carefully selected and simplified to help students develop their skills. The special arrangements also offer novices the pleasure and satisfaction of playing music that's usually beyond their grasp — and free MP3 downloads of each tune make mastering the music even easier.Some of the master composers are represented by several pieces each: nine works by Bach include Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring; Mozart's Rondo alla Turca appears along with eight other selections from his oeuvre; seven by Chopin include Funeral March; the "Emperor" Concerto, Ode to Joy, and "Für Elise" are among the eight Beethoven features; and eight by Tchaikovsky include Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy from The Nutcracker. Other well-known pieces include Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 by Liszt, Brahms' "Lullaby," Morning Mood by Grieg, Haydn's "Surprise" Symphony, plus compositions by Schubert, Verdi, Debussy, Handel, Mendelssohn, and others.

    Want to remember what it was like to be young and angry? Buy this book. A great read.’ - Phil Davis (Actor Chalky in Quadrophenia)‘Written in first person narrative, in a style and delivery reminiscent of Hunter S Thompson.’ - Scootering Magazine‘It’s a good book and an easy read. That’s pretty much what most pulp fiction needs to be.’ - Mod Culture‘A coming of age story, ‘A Crafty Cigarette’ maybe Matteo Sedazzari’s debut novel but it’s an impressive story.’ - Vive Le Rock‘Like a good Paul Weller concert the novel leaves you wanting more. I’ll be very interested in reading whatever Matteo Sedazzari writes next.’ - Louder Than WarA Crafty Cigarette is the powerful story of a teenager coming of age in the 70s as seen through his eyes, who on the cusp of adulthood, discovers a band that is new to him, which leads him into becoming a Mod. A mischievous youth prone to naughtiness, he takes to mod like a moth to a flame, which in turn gives him a voice, confidence and a fresh new outlook towards life, his family, his school friends, girls and the world in general. Growing up in Sunbury –on-Thames where he finds life rather dull and hard to make friends, he moves across the river with his family to Walton –on –Thames in 1979, the year of the Mod Revival, where to his delight he finds many other Mods his age and older, and slowly but surely he starts to become accepted....