Fresh from Duck Soup (1933), Julius, Leonard, Arthur and Herbert Marx - or as the world knows them, Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo - are transported by a freak electrical storm to Nacogdoches, Texas in the year 1826. Landing in the midst of the Fredonian Rebellion (the first attempt by settlers in Texas to secede from Mexico) and into the company of the only other Jewish person in town, they are in deep dreck. Falling in with Stephen F. Austin and inadvertently filling his head with knowledge of what is to come, our heroes risk tampering with the future of Texas, and perhaps the entire U.S.A., in their quest to return to their own time. Will they find their way back? Or will they be doomed to live out their lives without indoor plumbing?

    

    

    Or read this book and find out how you have all the tools you need, but must make the one change to become the writer you have always wanted to be.

    Along the way, she visits a poor stable boy named Diamond and takes him with her on her journeys. "At the Back of the North Wind" explores the place of death in our lives, social injustice, and our deep need for love and forgiveness. C. S. Lewis, author of the classic Chronicles of Narnia series, said of MacDonald, "What he does best is fantasy--fantasy that hovers between the allegorical and the mythopoeic. And this, in my opinion, he does better than any man. MacDonald is the greatest genius of this kind whom I know."

    The name of the series is Magium: The Mage Tournament. The individual books of the series do not have names. They only have numbers. Now that this has been cleared up, let us continue with the description of the series' story: Barry is an ordinary guy, with no magical powers whatsoever, who dreamed of becoming a mage for the better part of his life. After dedicating his whole life to studying magic, in the hopes of fulfilling his dream, he finally finds a way to do it. However, in order to become a mage, he must first win a deadly free-for-all tournament against the most powerful mages in the world. The fantasy world that the story takes place in is inspired by Dungeons and Dragons and by classic RPG games such as Neverwinter Nights, Dragon Age and Skyrim. The story of Magium starts at the beginning of the tournament, right after Barry and all the other participants are magically teleported to the continent where the contest is taking place. The winner of the competition will be given access to the Magium, which is thought to be the source of all magic. The tournament takes place on a continent hidden from the rest of the world, where there are mythical creatures like dragons and hydras, but also remnants of an old and technologically advanced civilization, whose magically powered devices are still being used in the present day. Due to his lack of magical abilities, Barry will be forced to use one such device, called a stat booster, which absorbs the magical energy around it and converts it into stat points. By leveling up stats such as Speed, Reflexes and Premonition, Barry will gain supernatural abilities that will help him survive against all the experienced mages that are also participating in the tournament. As the series progresses, Barry will meet with other participants, he will make friends and enemies, and he will gradually find out more about the continent he is on, and its inhabitants. He will find out that a person called "The Creator" had established several utopias in this place, six hundred years ago, where animals and humans lived in harmony, and food was created through magic. What Barry will get to see through his travels, however, is the downfall of these utopias, some of them being on the brink of destruction. As he begins to get involved with the people of this land, Barry will need to decide if he can simply ignore what is happening before his eyes, or if he will intervene, at the risk of being banned from the tournament, and forfeiting his dream. Credits for the magic ball image on the cover go to Agnes Landgraf.

    The deceptive, crooked path that led him to today began a few months back. Born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland, nineteen-year old Fleming was a professional baseball pitcher with the Chicago White Sox. His successful first year in the minor leagues was waylaid when he received his draft notice. Through a series of misadventures, he ended up enlisting for four years in an elite unit called the A.S.A. or Army Security Agency; the army’s equivalent to the N.S.A. or the National Security Agency. Once in the army, Fleming learned that the recruiter had manipulated him with a host of untruths. Then, to his dismay, he learned that the army had lost his orders and he was placed in an infantry unit. Once in Vietnam, Platoon Sergeant, Levine questioned Fleming and dragged out of him the sad story of how he had enlisted for four years and ended up in an infantry unit. He became the butt of the platoon’s jokes and underwent vicious ribbing by the other platoon members. That day, the platoon was ordered back to their base camp: L.Z. English. Before leaving, they endured a mortar attack and then a ground probe. Fleming’s foxhole mate was critically wounded. Fleming did everything he could to save the man but his wounds were too severe and he died in Fleming’s arms. Repulsed by the ordeal, Fleming was left wondering if he could endure a whole year of this. Twelve-year old Van Phan Duc and his two friends twelve-year old Hoi Anh Vanh and Dan Tri Quang lived happily in their village until the day a N.V.A. invaded and forced them to join their struggle and fight the invading Americans. They were then assigned to a Viet Cong unit where they met Sergeant Chi, the man who would train them to be soldiers for the revolution and lead them into battle. Three American soldiers had been captured. Chi ordered the three boys to participate in brutally torturing the Americans. Dan embraced the torture and it turned him into a brutal fighting machine, much to Chi’s satisfaction. On the other hand, Hoi was repulsed by the events and a part of him died that day. He performed the torture but it wasn’t to Chi’s satisfaction. Van, a devout Buddhist, was also repulsed. He realized that life, as a soldier was three hundred and sixty degrees opposite of Buddha’s spiritual path. The 173rd’s area of operations was the Central Highlands. The 173rd’s home base was in and around the town of Bong Son, but they patrolled all over the province of Binh Dinh. For the next few months, Fleming and Van’s units met on numerous occasions. The first time they engaged each other in combat was in a simple ambush that lasted only two minutes. Both men were left repulsed by the carnage that could take place in only two minutes. Right after the ambush, Fleming’s company was deployed in a battalion-sized operation located in the Dak To mountain range. It was an area where numerous North Vietnamese soldiers infiltrated into South Vietnam from neighboring Cambodia and Laos. Fleming’s company was dropped into an area far from Dak To and the men were forced to march (hump) to their final destination. During the trek, they had to carve their way through impenetrable jungle and cross leach infested rivers to reach their destination, all the while suffering under Vietnam’s oppressive heat. Van’s Viet Cong unit was sent to the Dak To mountain range to do battle with Fleming and his company. Months passed with Van and Fleming’s units constantly meeting. Both men had similar personalities. Both men overcame their initial shock at war’s brutality and became highly competent soldiers who bravely fought the enemy. Both men were ultimately made into squad leaders. Both men continued to hate the war, yet were entrapped in the insanity that was war. They both recognized what war was—a brutally insane series of events where lives were lost and where dreams died.

    with a peculiar talent.After years of destitution, Adam Eden's life is finally on the up. But, whilst out celebrating his recent good fortune, Adam unwittingly chooses death over embarrassment.Awaking in a future of leisure, luxury, and immortality, Adam suffers serious shrinkage and is branded an 'undesirable'. Shunned by family and neighbours for his first-life sins, can he find respect and redemption in this tightly controlled world? Facing a grim eternity, Adam wants out.A randomly chosen day trip changes everything.Though cruel and heartless, they always let you choose your weapon.

    Jerked from a life of isolation with her mother, Willow learns what alone really means when she finds her mother still in her bed, never to awaken again in this life. From the moment Willow arrives in the police station with her startling announcement, Chad Tesdall fights the friendship he knows he can't avoid. This collection includes episodes fifteen through eighteen of Past Forward. In this volume, Chad and Willow start their life together. A surprise attack, Willow's first vacation, and a slow, gradual expansion of the farm brings more changes to Walden Farm. Follow as Willow's story unfolds past forward.

    Telling three interconnected stories taking place on the same day, two weeks after events in "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" this novel is a can't miss for fans of THE KING HENRY TAPES. Spending equal time with Tyson Bonnie, Eva Reti, and King Henry Price himself, KING HENRY AND THE THREE LITTLE TRIPS shows the fallout from the Days of Supernatural Exhibit in both the personal cost for our characters and the political cost for supernatural organizations worldwide as fear of the Curator spreads to even the Asylum itself. Read as Tyson Bonnie escorts Vicky Welf to the Coyote Nation compound, find out if Eva Reti can survive the anima experiment inflicted upon her, and follow King Henry as he returns to the Asylum seeking Plutarch's help. The queue for the "Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" roller-coaster begins here! THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (forthcoming)

    There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, "I need to poop". "Okay, Rebecca replied, "I like poop". Douglas squatted down over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's boobs, looking like a weiner...."Why are we here?", Douglas cried as poop came out his weiner in a long thin strip, it was weiner-poop, which is the grossest poop of all.The peepee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs.And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt.And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after.

    The "Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood (York Notes Advanced - NOT THE NOVEL)

    Fleeing from pirates, Robinson Crusoe is swept ashore in a storm possessing only a knife, a box of tobacco, a pipe-and the will to survive. His is the saga of a man alone: a man who overcomes self-pity and despair to reconstruct his life; who painstakingly teaches himself how to fashion a pot, bake bread, build a canoe; and who, after twenty-four agonizing years of solitude, discovers a human footprint in the sand... Consistently popular since its first publication in 1719, Daniel Defoe's story of human endurance in an exotic, faraway land exerts a timeless appeal.

    But when Grayson Park's bride leaves him at the altar, a solo trip to paradise seems like just the thing to take him far from his troubles. Then he meets the beautiful and enigmatic Hi'iaka, and his troubles just begin--because when she's abducted by the sinister Kamapua'a, a savage creature bent on draining her life by the light of the full moon, she calls on Grayson to rescue her. With his loyal, new-found Hawaiian friend Polunu as his steadfast guide, Grayson sets out on an incredible adventure that pits him against the very gods of Hawaiian mythology and leads him to the heart of Pele's volcano, into the ocean to find the mythical Hook of Maui, and through the strange and brutal upcountry fleeing from demonic mo'o sent to destroy him. But there are only two nights left before the moon becomes full, and Grayson is running out of time to save Hi'iaka...and himself.