Despite a near-zero knowledge of the language, he had three months to learn. No problem, or so Rich kept telling himself. Rich dives in at the deep end by moving in with an unintelligible Spanish landlady, and a German roommate, Nils, who insists on being called by his Spanish name, “Miguel”. Unsurprisingly, Miguel can only take Rich’s Spanish so far. Instead, he takes his chances on a journey across Spain. Follow Rich on a hilarious, life-changing trip through this fascinating and cultured country, as he travels through the vineyards of La Rioja, surfs in the Basque Country and frantically tries to speak Spanish at anyone he can find. In Granada, the last outpost of the Muslim Moors in Spain, Rich’s moment finally arrives. The microphone is on and the audience is ready, but is he?

    History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.""The problem with being a pain in the ass is that you never quite know who's trying to get you.""Why do people keep insisting that I join the 21st Century? I *LIVE* in the 21st Century! I just don't want to be bothered by the shitheads on the internet!""I have no mouth. And I must scream.""I think love and sex are separate and only vaguely similar."