Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

    With a psychopath from his own time rising in the vile ranks of the Cable Street Unmentionables complicating things, Vimes has to ensure that history takes its course so that he will have the right future to go back to, and to keep his younger self alive."One of the funniest English authors alive" (Independent)

    This classic story, complete with a full cast, stirring music and authentic sound effects, sweeps listeners back to the glory days of the open frontier. Filled with cowboys and hustlers, fast guns and eager innocents, this exclusive production of The Turkeyfeather Riders brings to life the true flavor of the Old West.Jim Sandifer had run Grey Bowen's ranch for years in the rancher's absence. When Bowen reappears with his new wife, Rose Martin, and Rose's grown son. Lee, Sandifer is happy to see his boss. But then scheming Lee Martin turns Bowen against his foreman and his neighbors. Can Jim stop the range war that's brewing without losing his job? And what are the Martins really after?

    And certainly what Melville did for whaling Austen does for marriage--tracing the intricacies (not to mention the economics) of 19th-century British mating rituals with a sure hand and an unblinking eye. As usual, Austen trains her sights on a country village and a few families--in this case, the Bennets, the Philips, and the Lucases. Into their midst comes Mr. Bingley, a single man of good fortune, and his friend, Mr. Darcy, who is even richer. Mrs. Bennet, who married above her station, sees their arrival as an opportunity to marry off at least one of her five daughters. Bingley is complaisant and easily charmed by the eldest Bennet girl, Jane; Darcy, however, is harder to please. Put off by Mrs. Bennet's vulgarity and the untoward behavior of the three younger daughters, he is unable to see the true worth of the older girls, Jane and Elizabeth. His excessive pride offends Lizzy, who is more than willing to believe the worst that other people have to say of him; when George Wickham, a soldier stationed in the village, does indeed have a discreditable tale to tell, his words fall on fertile ground. Having set up the central misunderstanding of the novel, Austen then brings in her cast of fascinating secondary characters: Mr. Collins, the sycophantic clergyman who aspires to Lizzy's hand but settles for her best friend, Charlotte, instead; Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Mr. Darcy's insufferably snobbish aunt; and the Gardiners, Jane and Elizabeth's low-born but noble-hearted aunt and uncle. Some of Austen's best comedy comes from mixing and matching these representatives of different classes and economic strata, demonstrating the hypocrisy at the heart of so many social interactions. And though the novel is rife with romantic misunderstandings, rejected proposals, disastrous elopements, and a requisite happy ending for those who deserve one, Austen never gets so carried away with the romance that she loses sight of the hard economic realities of 19th-century matrimonial maneuvering. Good marriages for penniless girls such as the Bennets are hard to come by, and even Lizzy, who comes to sincerely value Mr. Darcy, remarks when asked when she first began to love him: "It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley." She may be joking, but there's more than a little truth to her sentiment, as well. Jane Austen considered Elizabeth Bennet "as delightful a creature as ever appeared in print". Readers of Pride and Prejudice would be hard-pressed to disagree. --Alix Wilber

      WEEKEND WARRIORS Life isn’t fair. Most women know it. But when Myra Rutledge loses her daughter in a tragic hit-and-run, she recruits six of her closest friends to right the wrongs they’ve suffered too long. Together, the Sisterhood will learn that when bad things happen, justice is theirs to serve . . .   PAYBACK When Julia Webster’s husband, a U.S. Senator, betrays her for his own personal gains, the Sisterhood gather to embark on their second mission. Because the senator crossed the wrong woman . . . and there are six more where she came from . . .   VENDETTA It’s been five years since Myra’s pregnant daughter was killed by a hit-and-run driver—the playboy son of an ambassador with diplomatic immunity. But now the time has finally come for the Sisterhood to execute some long-awaited and very sweet revenge . . .   “Readers will enjoy seeing what happens when well-funded, very angry women take the law into their own hands.” —Booklist   “Michaels manages to surprise and delight fans of all ages with her novel’s unexpected twists and turns.”  —RT Book Reviews, 4 Stars, on High Stakes Visit us at www.kensingtonbooks.com

    The first female sorcerer. The prophesied one. Or am I? Henrietta Howel can burst into flames. When she is brought to London to train with Her Majesty's sorcerers, she meets her fellow sorcerer trainees, young men eager to test her powers and her heart. One will challenge her. One will fight for her. One will betray her. As Henrietta discovers the secrets hiding behind the glamour of sorcerer life, she begins to doubt that she's the true prophesied one. With battle looming, how much will she risk to save the city--and the one she loves?

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    . .Janie and her husband James have a strong, loving marriage. A move from an inner-city slum to a peaceful new estate outside of Bolton should have been a fresh start for them and their three children. But when war is declared and James announces he has signed up, Janie fears it's the beginning of the end.Waving goodbye to their menfolk is a sacrifice that families are making all over the country and Janie does her best to make do, forging friendships in her new community.But when James comes home on leave a traumatised and desperate man, then goes AWOL, Janie's heart goes out to him. Determined to keep him safe, she plans to hide him in their new house. But how long can they keep the secret, and what threats lie ahead if they're found out?A page-turning new wartime saga about love, friendship and secrets, for fans of Katie Flynn and Rosie Goodwin.

    The indigenous creatures of Faust have never accepted any invaders--but today, new arrivals haunt their skies. The Black Ship is a predatory vessel. Built for stealth, she glides undetected among the stars, seeking colonies along the Faustian Chain that are ripe for raiding--or outright conquest. These three forces: the colonists, the alien life forms, and the cyborg crew of the Black Ship, are on a collision course in this thrilling military SF adventure. THE BLACK SHIP is a Novella of classic military science fiction by B. V. Larson. The stories in this series can be read in any order.

    His main concern is for his widowed mother, Iris, and, by working hard at Black’s Taxis, he does all he can to provide for her. But Iris just wishes he’d concentrate on finding a nice girl who’d appreciate his worth. If only he had the courage to ask someone out... Meanwhile, in a local firm of solicitors in Leicester, a striking young secretary is realising that her fiancé – a handsome junior solicitor - is not the man for her and, sadly, Harrie knows it’s time to rethink her life. When she takes a temporary position in the office of Black's Taxis, she soon discovers that there are some people who have little respect for the law nor care who they use to carry out their devious plans...

    Sarah’s experiences of rape, self harming, anorexia and bulimia draw the reader on a dramatic and moving journey which captures the attention from the moment you turn the first page. It is hard to imagine that anyone could emerge from such a process sane, never mind with the intelligence and bravery to share her story. Despite the frightening events of her youth, Sarah's spirit is powerful and a testament to the strength of human energy in the struggle against adversity. Sarah's story is a reminder to us all that challenges are placed in our paths to help us grow and evolve. Along the way, if we listen and pay attention, we are never far from angels and true love. Appreciating Angels will take you on a powerful journey demonstrating pain, loss, love, self discovery, intimacy, friendship and a deep appreciation for the people who cross our paths and touch our hearts. “The pain of unrequited love, as seen from both sides …” Despite the frightening events of her youth, Sarah’s spirit is powerful and a testament to the strength of human energy in the struggle against adversity. Sarah’s Story is a reminder to us all that challenges are placed in our paths to help us grow and evolve. Along the way, if we listen and pay attention, we are never far from guides and angels … and true love. Appreciating Angels, will take you on a powerful journey demonstrating pain, loss, love, self discovery, intimacy, friendship and a deep appreciation of the people who cross our paths and touch our hearts. “I’ve never read anything like this, thank heaven for its publication. With brutal honesty Sarah conveys the truth about her teenage and student life. Parts of which I’m sure many will relate to on one level or another. This is a lesson in forgiveness and letting go.” “Appreciating Angels has had a profound effect on me, drawing up emotions and memories. It has simultaneously brought a lump to my throat and filled my heart to overflowing.” “This book will reach many people – parents, daughters, sons, friends – listen and watch those around you who may be crying out for warmth, a hug and understanding – we can all learn to be Angels to one another as Sarah so beautifully shows us.” Authors Note 2014: It was always the intention that by sharing Sarah's Story, it would help others either by the subject content itself or by the royalties on every sale. All proceeds from this book will be gifted to B@ttitude - charity number 1140398 - an organisation that was set up through love to meet the needs of others and support them in a caring community helping people realise their dreams. For more information of the work of B@ttitude see their website: http://www.batitude.org/about-us

    But when he buys a small town newspaper, he gets pulled into a murder investigation at the local paper mill.

    Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth returns again. In the Third Age, an Age of Prophecy, the World and Time themselves hang in the balance. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow.The Eye of the World — When The Two Rivers is attacked by Trollocs—a savage tribe of half-men, half-beasts— five villagers flee that night into a world they barely imagined, with new dangers waiting in the shadows and in the light.The Great Hunt — Long thought only legend, the Horn of Valere is found, a mystical item able to raise the dead heroes of the ages. But then, everything changes when it gets stolen.The Dragon Reborn — Winter has stopped the war—almost—yet men are dying, calling out for the Dragon. But where is he? In the Heart of the Stone lies the next great test of the Dragon reborn.The Shadow Rising — The seals of Shayol Ghul are weak now, and the Dark One reaches out. The Shadow is rising to cover humankind. Against the Shadow rising stands the Dragon Reborn.The Wheel of Time®New Spring: The Novel#1 The Eye of the World#2 The Great Hunt#3 The Dragon Reborn#4 The Shadow Rising#5 The Fires of Heaven#6 Lord of Chaos#7 A Crown of Swords#8 The Path of Daggers#9 Winter's Heart#10 Crossroads of Twilight#11 Knife of DreamsBy Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson#12 The Gathering Storm#13 Towers of Midnight#14 A Memory of Light By Robert Jordan and Teresa Patterson The World of Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time By Robert Jordan, Harriet McDougal, Alan Romanczuk, and Maria Simons The Wheel of Time Companion By Robert Jordan and Amy Romanczuk Patterns of the Wheel: Coloring Art Based on Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

    Her sister Montana has finally found her calling working with therapy dogs, but can she convince the handsome but relationship-averse man of her dreams to make a home in Fool's Gold? And while wedding bells are ringing for her sisters, they're not for Nevada. After landing her dream job, her hopes of a fresh start are thwarted when her new boss turns out to be the first love she never forgot.Offered here for the first time in collection form, the second Fool's Gold trilogy—plus the bonus novella Only Us—lets you reconnect with the characters who have become as familiar as old friends. Susan Mallery's Fool's Gold Series, Volume TwoOnly MineOnly YoursOnly HisOnly Us