Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward


Gemma Hartley - 2018
    In relationships, we initiate the hard conversations. At home, we shoulder the mental load required to keep our households running. At work, we moderate our tone, explaining patiently and speaking softly. In the world, we step gingerly to keep ourselves safe. We do this largely invisible, draining work whether we want to or not—and we never clock out. No wonder women everywhere are overtaxed, exhausted, and simply fed up.In her ultra-viral article “Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up,” shared by millions of readers, Gemma Hartley gave much-needed voice to the frustration and anger experienced by countless women. Now, in Fed Up, Hartley expands outward from the everyday frustrations of performing thankless emotional labor to illuminate how the expectation to do this work in all arenas—private and public—fuels gender inequality, limits our opportunities, steals our time, and adversely affects the quality of our lives.More than just name the problem, though, Hartley teases apart the cultural messaging that has led us here and asks how we can shift the load. Rejecting easy solutions that don’t ultimately move the needle, Hartley offers a nuanced, insightful guide to striking real balance, for true partnership in every aspect of our lives. Reframing emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome, but as a genderless virtue men and women can all learn to channel in our quest to make a better, more egalitarian world, Fed Up is surprising, intelligent, and empathetic essential reading for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up.

Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans


Michaeleen Doucleff - 2021
    Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and the conclusions often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do—and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on? In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop—it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones. Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are world experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids. Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their techniques firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.

The Mommy Group: Freaking Out, Finding Friends, and Surviving the Happiest Time of Our Lives


Elizabeth Isadora Gold - 2016
    I did not mean for that to rhyme” —Adam Mansbach, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Go the F*ck to SleepIn 2010, seven women met in Brooklyn, New York, to form a Mommy Group. Over coffee, croissants, wine, and the occasional baby carrot, they commiserated about typical new-mother issues: difficult births, babies who slept in ten-minute increments, and breast pumps that talked back in the middle of the night. And then things got complicated. Elizabeth and Melissa suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety. Jane’s daughter was diagnosed with developmental delays. Anna’s husband left her when their baby was two weeks old. Through it all, the Mommy Group laughed, supported, and learned lessons from one another that the myriad “experts” hadn’t delivered. The journalist of the bunch—author Elizabeth Isadora Gold—reached out to other Mommy Groups around the country and found that similar bonds were forming far beyond brownstone Brooklyn. In fact, mothers across all class, geographic, and racial boundaries appear to be searching for the same thing: a way to be strong, loving, engaged parents “while retaining—or remaking—our Selves.” A witty, relatable, and honest look at the realities of parenthood today, The Mommy Group is a companion that will help any mom feel understood and empowered, and keep her laughing all the way.

Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood


Susan Linn - 2004
    What was once the purview of a handful of companies has escalated into a gargantuan enterprise estimated at over $15 billion annually. While parents busily try to set limits at home, marketing executives work day and night to undermine their efforts with irresistible messages. In Consuming Kids, psychologist Susan Linn takes a comprehensive and unsparing look at the demographic advertisers call "the kid market," taking readers on a compelling and disconcerting journey through modern childhood as envisioned by commercial interests. Children are now the focus of a marketing maelstrom, targets for everything from minivans to M&M counting books. All aspects of children's lives — their health, education, creativity, and values — are at risk of being compromised by their status in the marketplace. Interweaving real-life stories of marketing to children, child development theory, the latest research, and what marketing experts themselves say about their work, Consuming Kids reveals the magnitude of this problem and shows what can be done about it.Susan Linn is an instructor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and Associate Director of the Media Center at Judge Baker Children's Center. She is also co-founder of the coalition Stop Commercial Exploitation of Children. She lives in Brookline, Massachusetts, with her husband and daughter.

The Art of Waiting: On Fertility, Medicine, and Motherhood


Belle Boggs - 2016
    She searches the apparently fertile world around her--the emergence of thirteen-year cicadas, the birth of eaglets near her rural home, and an unusual gorilla pregnancy at a local zoo--for signs that she is not alone. Boggs also explores other aspects of fertility and infertility: the way longing for a child plays out in the classic Coen brothers film Raising Arizona; the depiction of childlessness in literature, from Macbeth to Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?; the financial and legal complications that accompany alternative means of family making; the private and public expressions of iconic writers grappling with motherhood and fertility. She reports, with great empathy, complex stories of couples who adopted domestically and from overseas, LGBT couples considering assisted reproduction and surrogacy, and women and men reflecting on childless or child-free lives.In The Art of Waiting, Boggs deftly distills her time of waiting into an expansive contemplation of fertility, choice, and the many possible roads to making a life and making a family.

How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent


Carla Naumburg - 2019
    Parenting is stressful, children are insane, and you’re only human. Carla Naumburg, PhD, a clinical social worker, was so at a loss with her daughters that she found herself Googling “how to stop yelling at my kids” during a particularly grueling evening. That moment led to this book—a short, empathic, insight-packed, and tip-filled program for how to manage your triggers, stop the meltdowns, and become a calmer, happier parent with calmer, happier kids.How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids not only explains why we explode at our children but also teaches us everything we need to know to decrease stress and increase patience, even in the most challenging family moments. Based on recent research and evidence-based practices, and written in the warm, funny, instantly relatable tone of a parent who’s been there, the book guides even the most harried parents toward a new way of engaging with their children. Readers will come away feeling less ashamed and more empowered to get their sh*t together, instead of losing it.

Maxed Out: American Moms on the Brink


Katrina Alcorn - 2013
    Her carefully built career shuddered to a halt, and her journey through depression, anxiety, and insomnia—followed by medication, meditation, and therapy—began.Alcorn wondered how a woman like herself, with a loving husband, a supportive boss, three healthy kids, and a good income, was unable to manage the demands of having a career and a family. Over time, she realized that she wasn’t alone. As she questioned other working moms, she realized that many women were struggling to do it all, crashing, and feeling as if they were somehow failing as a result.Mothers are the breadwinners in two-thirds of American families, yet the American workplace is uniquely hostile to the needs of parents. Weaving in surprising research about the dysfunction between the careers and home lives of working mothers, as well as the consequences to women’s health, Alcorn tells a deeply personal story about "having it all," failing miserably, and what comes after. Ultimately, she offers readers a vision for a healthier, happier, and more productive way to live and work.

Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three


Paula Polk Lillard - 2003
    Based on Dr. Maria Montessori's instructions for raising infants, its comprehensive exploration of the first three years incorporates the furnishings and tools she created for the care and comfort of babies. From the design of the baby's bedroom to the child-sized kitchen table, from diet and food preparation to clothing and movement, the authors provide guidance for the establishment of a beautiful and serviceable environment for babies and very young children. They introduce concepts and tasks, taking into account childrens' ''sensitive periods'' for learning such skills as dressing themselves, food preparation, and toilet training. Brimming with anecdote and encouragement, and written in a clear, engaging style, Montessori from the Start is a practical and useful guide to raising calm, competent, and confident children.

Superbaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years


Jenn Berman - 2010
    During this time, there are critical windows of opportunity that parents can take advantage of-if they know how. In a dozen succinct yet information-packed chapters, award-winning columnist and professional therapist Dr. Jenn Berman gives parents the knowledge they need. Her enlightening sidebars, bulleted lists, and concrete, easy-to-use strategies will help parents raise happy, healthy babieswho grow to be flourishing toddlers and successful adults. "

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom


Stefanie Wilder-Taylor - 2006
    Friends, family, colleagues, the UPS delivery guy—suddenly everybody is a trove of advice, much of it contradictory and confusing. With dire warnings of what will happen if baby is fed on demand and even direr warnings of what will happen if he isn't, not to mention hordes of militant “lactivists,” cosleeping advocates, and books on what to worry about next, modern parenthood can seem like a minefield. In busy Mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes (“Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old—you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me”) to attachment parenting (“If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor”). Stefanie Wilder-Taylor combines practical tips with sidesplitting humor and refreshing honesty, assuring women that they can be good mothers and responsibly make their own choices. A witty and welcome antidote to trendy parenting texts and scarifying case studies, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay provides genuine support, encouragement, and indispensable common-sense advice.

Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child


Ross W. Greene - 2016
    But parents also want to have influence. They want their kid to be independent, but not if he or she is going to make bad choices. They don’t want to be harsh and rigid, but nor do they want a noncompliant, disrespectful kid. They want to avoid being too pushy and overbearing, but not if an unmotivated, apathetic kid is what they have to show for it. They want to have a good relationship with their kids, but not if that means being a pushover. They don’t want to scream, but they do want to be heard. Good parenting is about striking the balance between a child’s characteristics and a parent’s desire to have influence. Now Dr. Ross Greene offers a detailed and practical guide for raising kids in a way that enhances relationships, improves communication, and helps kids learn how to resolve disagreements without conflict. Through his well-known model of solving problems collaboratively, parents can forgo time-out and sticker charts, stop badgering, berating, threatening, and punishing, allow their kids to feel heard and validated, and have influence. From homework to hygiene, curfews, to screen time, Raising Human Beings arms parents with the tools they need to raise kids in ways that are non-punitive and non-adversarial and that brings out the best in both parent and child.

Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Connected


Susan Stiffelman - 2009
    But let's face it: family life can get downright crazy, and it's at those moments that we most need to keep our cool. Family therapist Susan Stiffelman has shown thousands of parents how to be the cool, confident "Captain of the ship" in their children's lives. Based on her successful practice and packed with real-life stories, Susan shares proven strategies and crystal clear insights to motivate kids to cooperate and connect. Parenting without Power Struggles is an extraordinary guidebook for transforming your day-to-day parenting life. You'll discover how to: • Transform frustration and aggression into adaptation and cooperation • Keep your cool when your kids push your buttons, talk back or refuse to "play nice" • Nourish deep attachment with young and older kids • Help your ADD'ish child survive and thrive, even if you’re ADD'ish yourself • Inoculate your kids from negative thinking and peer pressure that lead to anger, anxiety, depression, or behavior issues • Help children manage the emotional challenges of divorce

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers


Gordon Neufeld - 2004
    This “peer orientation” undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming overly conformist, desensitized, and alienated, and being “cool” matters more to them than anything else.  Hold On to Your Kids explains the causes of this crucial breakdown of parental influence—and demonstrates ways to “reattach” to sons and daughters, establish the proper hierarchy in the home, make kids feel safe and understood, and earn back your children’s loyalty and love. This updated edition also specifically addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media. By helping to reawaken instincts innate to us all, Neufeld and Maté will empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security, and warmth for their children.

So That's What They're For!: The Definitive Breastfeeding Guide


Janet Tamaro - 1996
    Dean Edell, nationally syndicated radio/television talk show host"BEST PICKS: Best breastfeeding book out there for new moms." --Parent Soup"Janet Tamaro has produced a humorous, informative, concise, affordable, fun-to-read book on the joys and trials of breastfeeding." --The Journal of Perinatal Education"So That's What They're For! lends support and encouragement to those wondering whether they should try breastfeeding, for pregnant women who are sure they will breastfeed, and for new moms who are having trouble an are considering stopping." --Natural Health and Alternative Medicine Newsletter

Here's the Plan.: Your Practical, Tactical Guide to Advancing Your Career During Pregnancy and Parenthood


Allyson Downey - 2016
    The most focused, confident, and ambitious women can find themselves derailed by a tiny little thing: a new baby. While more workplaces are espousing family-friendly cultures, women are still subject to a "parenting penalty" and high-profile conflicts between parenting and the workplace are all over the news: from the controversy over companies covering the costs of egg-freezing to the debate over parental leave and childcare inspired by Marissa Mayer's policies at Yahoo. Here's the Plan offers an inventive and inspiring roadmap for working mothers steering their careers through the parenting years. Author Allyson Downey, founder of weeSpring, the "Yelp for baby products,” and mother of two young children advises readers on all practical aspects of ladder-climbing while parenting, such as negotiating leave, flex time, and promotions. In the style of #GIRLBOSS or Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, Here's the Plan is the definitive guide for ambitious mothers, written by one working mother to another.