Half of the essays are brand new, the others are all reworked and rewritten, based on pieces that were originally published in Golf Digest. Often biting, usually cranky, always hilarious and surprising—this is Dan Jenkins at his best, writing about the sport he loves the most.      "I've always wanted to do something for the golfer who has everything. I thought about a suede golf cart, or maybe a pair of cashmere Footjoys. Then I settled on writing this book." So begins Dan Jenkins's latest—and funniest—collection of golf essays. The book consists of thirty-eight essays, all of them, as Dan says in the first essay, are "literally throbbing with opinion."     In this book Dan delves into the greatest rounds of golf he's ever seen; the funniest things said on a golf course; the rivalries on tour and in the press box; the game's most magical moments—and its most absurd. Unplayable Lies is an ode to the game Jenkins loves. But it is Dan Jenkins, so nothing—even the game of golf—can escape his wrath, his critical eye, or his acerbic pen. The best way to describe it is to turn the book over to Mr. Jenkins:      In "Titanic and I"—probably the most hilarious and surprising essay in the book, telling true stories of Titanic Thompson: gambler, golf hustler, accused murderer, legendary storyteller—Dan explains how Titanic would win a wager by saying he could knock a bird off a telephone wire: "Titanic would drop a ball on the ground and take out his four-wood, waggle it, and pretend to aim at the bird on the wire. When some sucker would bet him he couldn't do it, Ti would pull out a gun he carried and shoot the bird off the wire."     In "The Greatest Rounds": "Show me a man who doesn't know what Arnold did in the last round of the '60 U.S. Open at Cherry Hills, and I'll show you a soccer fan in Paraguay."     This is a perfect follow up to His Ownself. It even has an Introduction by Sally Jenkins, one of the country's top sportswriters and Dan's own darling daughter.

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    This plant is used exclusively to comply with the extremely complicated ritual laws set down in the Tablets of Enku.

    

    This time they’re treasure hunting in a dimension that combines the Wild West with the vampire-curse hills of Transylvania—where gold is common as dirt and danger lurks behind every sagebrush.Something M.Y.T.H. Inc.…Revolution is in the air. The king’s court sorcerer is being eyed with suspicion. Not for dabbling in black arts… not for consorting with a demon… not for having a dragon as a pet… not even for being mobbed up. But for the greatest crime of all: raising taxes.Who is this terrible Tyrant? None other than Skeeve the Great.Oh, how the mighty have fallen…

    She is addicted to the feeling of being on stage, looking out at expectant, up-turned mouths, waiting for the first laugh to hit. A first laugh that will not happen unless she creates it. But Brenda is clueless. The on-off girlfriend of a prolific comedian, it is only after she realises his best stage material consists of recycled versions of her own restless, smart-arsed energy that she begins to wonder whether she might be better off keeping her jokes for herself - and so she finds herself making her very first walk to the mark on stage in front of a bare brick wall, with just a spotlight and a PA system for cover, wondering what we all wonder from time to time: am I funny? A book as much about the thrill of performance as it is about what goes on when the microphone is switched off, Brenda Monk is Funny is a blackly humourous and devastatingly candid snapshot of the reality, the brutality and fragility of the comedy industry from an exciting new voice in fiction.

    In Planetside and Opening Night at the Naturals Preserve, you get to look into her upcoming new world of After Earth. In Parasite, for which this edition is titled, you have the chance to read into some of the background and history of one of the brilliant characters from Sara's Millennium Potion series, of which you can find the first novel, Wings of Retribution, right here on Amazon!

    Many residents call the island home year-round, but day visitors and tourists bring plenty of excitement with them. Like other resort islands, there are quaint shops, cool restaurants, and friendly bars. There are several resorts on the island, but the queen of them all is the elegant Grand Hotel on a bluff with an ocean view. Owned by the extensive, multi-generational Phillips family, the Grand Hotel offers elegant service, five course dinners, and plenty of romance. White Pine Island Novella #1: Ned & Bethany Sometimes the heart hits a hole in one… Bethany Hinkle arrives at White Pine Island’s Grand Hotel for her sister’s wedding and to do a little environmental snooping. She snaps pictures of the hotel’s pristine golf course to ensure its compliance with EPA standards. Soon, she realizes that the course’s manager is as attractive as the course he so carefully protects. Ned Phillips feels the weight of family expectations squarely on his broad shoulders. The Phillips Family has owned and operated the Grand Hotel for three generations. For now, he manages the hotel’s golf course and makes plans for its future—plans that could be destroyed by Bethany’s spying. He gets close to the lovely environmentalist to watch for her next move until he gets too close to let her go. ***** White Pine Island Novella #2: Ellen & Pete What happens when you fall in love with your best friend just when it’s too late? All her life, Ellen Phillips has loved working for her family’s Grand Hotel on White Pine Island. Flying the hotel’s airplane and piloting the island ferryboat while knowing someday she will inherit the luxurious resort is a fairy tale existence she has no desire to change. She’s always loved Pete McCormack, too. After all, he’s her best friend, confidante, and playmate. Until she suddenly sees him in a different light just before Christmas. Pete McCormack has made sacrifices for his family’s golf cart rental business on the island, choosing to stay home and run it instead of pursuing his dream of his own career on the mainland. When his parents announce their plans to sell the business so Pete can leave the island, he has to choose between the future he thought he always wanted and his newfound love for the woman he would be leaving behind.

    But that’s before she sees the perfect child. There he sits in his stroller, angelic and beautiful, magnetic and serene– and he makes Jane question everything she has and everything she thought she wanted. Suddenly all she can see are babies and pregnant woman everywhere. Were there always so many of them? And while there was once a man in her life–her one true love, Sam, gone from this world too soon–there is no man now. Jane must make a choice: possibly become a bitter and childless old lady, letting her biological clock tick on ’till menopause, or tend the ache in her heart now, by becoming a single mother. As Jane struggles to make the most important decision of her life, friends and family offer no shortage of opinions. There’s Ray, her “hubstitute” and gay best friend who would be jealous of any kid who got Jane as a mom; Sheila, her sister, who went from zero to sixty when she eloped with Raoul–who had two young twin sons– and has mixed feelings about being a new mommy; her strict, Catholic father who can’ t imagine what level of hell Jane would banish herself to if she becomes a single mother; and the women of Families with Children from China who are preparing to adopt orphan daughters–without a man in sight. Just as she thinks she’s made up her mind, Jane discovers one small wrench in her plans: handsome, charming, funny Peter, who just happens to be (unhappily) married. . . . And Baby Makes Two is a heartbreakingly honest, wonderfully addictive, and funny novel about love and loss, family and friendship. Judy Sheehan, co-creator of the smash hit Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding, has perfectly captured the delights and dilemmas of the scariest job in the world: motherhood.From the Hardcover edition.

    

      It is also full of useful things that will help organize your year, including dates, numbers, and pictures of dogs.

    The theme is the experience of Longden watching LOST FOR WORDS become a TV drama along with a collection of observations of life at home and abroad.

    Longbottom, the Nebula Award-winning science-fiction and fantasy author and head writer of Mythic Quest. C.W. found literary fame with Inside the Caves of Beneroth and Tears of the Anaren, but even his most loyal fans don’t know that Tears of the Anaren began as a short story he wrote in the early 1970s while interning at Amazing Tales magazine.This never-before-published draft is now yours to discover, complete with C.W.’s (extremely) colorful commentary and an Introduction and Afterword by Ian Grimm, the iconoclastic creator of Mythic Quest. As sparks fly between heroic scoundrel Zeb and space seductress Merrith, we get a glimpse into the mind of a talented young man yearning for greatness. Like early Mozart, it is raw and green — but also magic.From Charlie Day, Megan Ganz, and Rob McElhenney, the Apple TV+ original comedy series, Mythic Quest, goes behind the scenes to follow the game’s creators. In a workplace focused on building worlds, molding heroes, and creating legends, the most hard-fought battles don’t occur in the game — they happen in the office. Rob McElhenney stars as Ian Grimm alongside Charlotte Nicdao and F. Murray Abraham.

    He is homeless, stuck in a city where he is forgotten.On Thanksgiving, a small miracle happens. An unusual man named Scott McKenzie offers him a ride to a place in Oregon called the Oasis.The Oasis is in Middle Falls. Miracles happen in Middle Falls.The Final Christmas of Robert Burke was originally released to Shawn Inmon's newsletter subscribers. It is now being released in ebook and audiobook form for the first time. Like all Middle Falls stories, it is a standalone story and can be read at any point in the series.

    But as the festive season draws closer, Laurel begins to wonder if Christmas on Skopelos can ever live up to the cosy Yorkshire Christmases she spent with her beloved grandmother, Marnie. And with a travel writer arriving to review the Villa, Laurel needs a touch of festive sparkle - and a little help from some old friends... With critics to impress, Greek feasts to cook, and an ABBA-themed winter wedding on the horizon, can Laurel throw the perfect Christmas for everyone? And will she find her own romance underneath the mistletoe...? Escape to Greece this Christmas for this joyous sequel to My Mamma Mia Summer.