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Duck Duck Wally
Gabe Rotter - 2007
Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.
The Adventures of Charlie Smithers
C.W. Lovatt - 2012
Make way for Charlie Smithers.The time is the nineteenth century. The place, the Serengeti Plain, where one Charlie Smithers – faithful manservant to the arrogant bone-head, Lord Brampton (with five lines in Debrett, and a hopeless shot to boot) – becomes separated from his master during an unfortunate episode with an angry rhinoceros, thereby launching Charlie on an odyssey into Deepest Darkest Africa, and subsequently into the arms of the beautiful Loiyan…and that’s where the trouble really begins.Maasai warriors, xenophobic locals, or evil Arab slavers, the two forbidden lovers encounter everything that the unforgiving jungle can throw at them."A truly engaging read that will keep anyone’s attention from the hilarious beginning until the last word. I highly recommend this 5 star novel." ~ Chapters & Chats
The Diary of V: The Breakup
Debra Kent - 2001
V has to live in a sham marriage as she seeks information on her husband, his financial affairs and proof of his sexual affairs.
Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk
Tony DuShane - 2010
But Gabe’s not alone: there’s Peter, who writes swear words in the margins of his papers; Jihyun, the Korean kid who subsists on Ho Hos and Doritos; and Camille, who follows Gabe around, trying to be his girlfriend. There’s also Gabe’s mom, who sleeps sixteen hours a day, and his dad, an elder who decides the fate of sinners (like the married couple who confesses to accidentally having anal sex). There’s Brother Miller, an elder with a Napoleon complex, who accompanies Gabe from door to door, encouraging him to knock with confidence, and Sister Feeney, who looks forward to the day she can move into a Spanish-style house after its owner dies at the end of the world. Luckily for Gabe, there is Uncle Jeff, who used to tour with Santana and now gives Gabe the only valuable girl advice he ever receives. It's hard when school days are spent dodging questions about your weird religion and weekends mean preaching house to house. Life looks dreary until Gabe falls for Camille’s beautiful older sister and begins to see her as the answer to his frustrations.
The Mothers of Country Day
Arlene Matthews - 2012
When Josie Messina's wunderkind 12-year-old son earns a full scholarship to one of New Jersey's toniest private schools, this hardworking, cash-strapped single mom is intimidated. Will she ever fit in with the wealthy and fashionable mothers of Little Fawn Country Day? But when Josie runs into Country Day's most famous parent, rock legend Billy Stand - known to her as the boy she used to babysit - their embrace in the school parking lot, viewed by three of the school's most influential social butterflies, rockets her to "A list" status. What happens next will bring truth to the warning, "Be careful what you wish for." This timely, irreverent send-up of contemporary academia -- and the wicked ways of the one percent -- will delight any parent who has ever been dragged to a PTA fundraiser, has sweated out their children's grades and college prospects, or who has wondered what, exactly, their kids are learning at school all day.Editorial Review"A smart, poignant fiction debut...What makes this work stand out is Matthews' handling of social issues such as class boundaries and the state of education in the country...The cause-and-effect relationship intertwined in each plot element creates moments of laughter and societal insight, making the novel an entertaining, shrewd read."- Kirkus Reviews
Blithe Tomato
Mike Madison - 2006
Biography. Across America, people are escaping fluorescent-lit grocery store aisles to rediscover the fresh, seasonal offerings of the farmers' market. A new and thriving culture has sprung up as thousands gather each weekend to pinch, poke, smell, and probe the produce-and at times each other. Who knew that buying peaches and eggplants could be such fun? Mike Madison, who raises organic flowers, melons, olives, and apricots, has been setting up at these markets for over twenty years. With keen observations and sly wit, Madison presents a series of essays and vignettes that introduce us to the characters who make our food, the economy that produces it, and the spirit that has placed farmers' markets among the fastest growing movements in the country.
The Frontman
Ron Bahar - 2018
During his senior year of high school, he begins to date longtime crush and non-Jewish girl Amy Andrews—a forbidden relationship he hides from his parents. But that’s not the only complicated part of Ron’s life: he’s also struggling to choose between his two passions, medicine and music. As time goes on, he becomes entangled in a compelling world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Will he do the right thing?A fictionalized memoir of the author’s life as a young man in Lincoln, Nebraska, The Frontman is a coming-of-age tale of love and fidelity.
The Locklear Letters
Michael Kun - 2003
His innocent letter requesting an autographed picture begins a bizarre turn of events that eventually costs him his job, foils his romantic intentions toward a coworker, drains his finances, and generally ruins his life. Sid, a Don Quixote character with large blind spots regarding the fate of his one-sided correspondence with the movie star and his own behavior, cannot escape the wrath of lawyers, public relations bulldogs, angry bosses, and ex-girlfriends that drags his life down the tubes. Until he fights back.
Talk Talk
T. Coraghessan Boyle - 2006
In a novel that is at once a thrilling road trip across America and a moving tale about love, language, and who we are, the bestselling author of The Inner Circle and Drop City offers a timely story about a woman in desperate pursuit of a man who has stolen her identity.
Kiss, Kiss ; Over to You ; Switch Bitch ; Someone Like You ; Four Tales of the Unexpected ; My Uncle Oswald
Roald Dahl - 1985
To Cut a Long Story Short
Jeffrey Archer - 2000
From the master storyteller comes a masterful collection of fourteen riveting tales of elaborate confidence tricks, political chicanery, immoral behavior, and dangerously illicit affairs, rendered with the breathtaking narrative twists that have become the Jeffrey Archer hallmark.Here are all new stories that will engross and astonish, peopled with a rich assortment of truly memorable characters: the intoxicating woman who appears to her lover only once every six years; the British diplomat who employs his rather creative -- if not entirely ethical -- financial talents for a greater good; the millionaire who declares himself bankrupt to test the love and loyalties of those closest to him.This is Jeffrey Archer at the top of his form, as he offers us unique fables of our time and civilization, each one shining a harsh yet hypnotic light on that fascinating, complex being called "human."
Fat Girl Slim
Marina Johnson - 2018
She feels powerless to help herself until one day she encounters the person she would like to be and determines to transform herself. Admiration soon turns to obsession and as Alison loses weight she discovers she’s capable of things she never imagined. Will she get the life she desires or the life she deserves?
The Perfect Fool
Stewart Lee - 2001
Mr Lewis believes he was once an astronaut; Sid and Danny’s Dire Straits covers band isn't exactly filling the pubs of Streatham; Tracy travels between Las Vegas and the Mexican border, fleeing the suspicion that she's a serial killer; Bob, a Native American clown, no longer finds anything funny; Luther, an acid casualty 1960s rock star, has long since forgotten the most basic chord shapes; and Peter Rugg lost a cigarette down the back of a Portobello Road sofa thirty years ago and is still looking for it.These seemingly unrelated individuals eventually collide in the deserts of the American South-west, where they form an uneasy alliance. Stewart Lee’s first novel combines an eclectic range of characters and cultures with an instinctive comic touch.
The Wisdom of Sally Red Shoes
Ruth Hogan - 2018
Once a spirited, independent woman with a rebellious streak, her life has been forever changed by a tragic event twelve years ago. Unable to let go of her grief, she finds solace in the silent company of the souls of her local Victorian cemetery and at the town's lido, where she seeks refuge underwater - safe from the noise and the pain. But a chance encounter with two extraordinary women - the fabulous and wise Kitty Muriel, a convent girl-turned-magician's wife-turned-seventy-something-roller-disco-fanatic, and the mysterious Sally Red Shoes, a bag lady with a prodigious voice - opens up a new world of possibilities, and the chance to start living again.Until the fateful day when the past comes roaring back...