WHAT are the dangers of getting directions from a fairy tale frog? WHERE do archangels go to kick back and relax? HOW can a garden gnome mend a broken heart? WHO is the last person you’d expect to visit you at Christmas? WHY shouldn’t you let Satan organise your funeral? Find out the answers to these and other pressing questions in this collection of short stories from the authors of the Clovenhoof series.

    Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    Janner Igiby, his brother Tink, their crippled sister Leeli are gifted children as all children are, loved well by a noble mother and ex-pirate grandfather. But they will need all their gifts and all that love to survive the evil pursuit of the venomous Fangs of Dang who have crossed the dark sea to rule the land with malice and pursue the Igibys who hold the secret to the lost legend and jewels of good King Wingfeather of the Shining Isle of Anniera.Andrew Peterson spins a quirky and riveting tale of the Igibys’ extraordinary journey from Glipwood’s Dragon Day Festival and a secret hidden in the Books and Crannies Bookstore, past the terrifying Black Carriage, clutches of the horned hounds and loathsome toothy cows surrounding AnkleJelly Manor, through the Glipwood Forest and mysterious treehouse of Peet the Sock Man (known for a little softshoe and wearing tattered socks on his hands and arms), to the very edge of the Ice Prairies. Full of characters rich in heart, smarts, and courage, On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness presents a world of wonder and a tale children of all ages will cherish, families can read aloud, and readers’ groups are sure to discuss for its layers of meaning about life’s true treasure and tangle of the beautiful and horrible, temporal and eternal, and good and bad.

    Unfortunately, the Cresswill case was anything but. It started as a suicide, but then it was a murder pretending to be a suicide. Then it appeared that it was a suicide masquerading as a murder pretending to be a suicide. It was all so ridiculous, but the only thing a jury needs to acquit is a reasonable doubt, even when it seems quite unreasonable. Or is it? Or not? Perhaps to find the truth, the police need help that is every bit as unhinged as the case…

    . .There was a castle. But not just any castle. This was a castle that glittered and sparkled and rose majestically above the banks of the winding Winono River: the Castle Corona.And in this castle lived a family. But not just any family. This was the family of King Guido: rich and royal and . . . spoiled. And King Guido was so spoiled that neither jewels nor gold nor splendid finery could please him, for what he longed for most was . . . a nap and a gown that didn't itch.Far below this grand, glittering castle lived two peasants. But not just any peasants. These peasants, though poor and pitiful, were plucky and proud. And in possession of a stolen pouch. But not just any pouch. A pouch whose very contents had the power to unlock secrets and transform lives . . .And oh, there is an author. But not just any author. Sharon Creech is a Newbery Medal-winning author whose tantalizing tale will not only dazzle and delight but also entertain and excite.

    One lonely woman. One mysterious man. Not all secret admirers write poetry.As intrigued and aroused as she is frightened and appalled by the continuous stream of profound-yet-perverse letters arriving in her office mailbox, shy wallflower Amelia Hill, thinks she’s going insane. Notes turn to text messages, luring her to meet the elusive stranger in a room as dark and hidden as his intentions. Once there, Amelia realizes gut instincts should be heard louder than the deceptive call of temptation. Will one night be enough, or too much? Erotic stand-alone. No cliffy. 32,000+ Words

    Sainsbury. Two short, punchy, action-packed episodes in each book.They murdered his parents, shot him in the head, and left him to die. They should have made sure.Twenty years after Tom Lewis watched his parents die, those responsible are being killed. One by one.Gentle, brain-damaged Tom, a giant of a man who can barely speak, can’t be responsible for their deaths. Can he?When Tom Lewis was shot, something new was created. Something unique. Something deadly. Something patient enough to plan revenge for twenty long years.Meet Bedlam Boy

    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

    What does "spudvetch" mean? Why do Mr Kidd's eyes flicker with fluorescent blue light when Charlie says spudvetch to him? A high-powered adventure can end only with a Boom!

    Carlos Ninguna is seventeen. His father is a snake-handler and Carlos is his apprentice. When a man who may or may not be on the FBI's Most Wanted List moves into the apartment above them, Carlos is faced with a whole tangle of complicated decisions.Anthony Doerr is one of the country's most honored young story writers. His short stories have appeared in the Atlantic, McSweeney's, the Paris Review, and Zoetrope: All-Story, where "The Snake Handler" originally appeared. His most recent collection, Memory Wall, won the 2010 Story Prize.

    It contains explicit language, sexual references, and adult themes. Discretion is advised.Deep under Seattle’s Space Needle in a hidden bunker sits the most valuable substance on earth: Barack Obama’s sperm. And Mark Zuckerberg’s. And Stephen Hawking’s. In case of global catastrophe, the US government has been storing sperm samples from some of history’s greatest minds (and also some politicians).Hot White Heist follows Jude “Judy” Fink (Bowen Yang) and a crew of misfits from across the LGBTQ+ spectrum as they attempt the stickiest heist in history. Why? To help a lesbian cult finance a top-secret project, of course. Featuring an all-star, all-queer cast, Hot White Heist is the first and only podcast about a sperm bank heist. What else do you need to know?

    She is a cheerful and happy-go-lucky single girl who just happens to be a dominatrix with a dungeon in her flat where she services clients with flogging and extreme correction and (if she's lucky) gets the occasional slave to pay her for the honour of doing her vacuuming. When she's not delivering 30 lashes to the sensitive parts of religious zealots or doing step aerobics in stilettos on the buttocks of retired army officers, she is just trying to get on with the neighbours and make her flatmate, Dan, realise that in spite of what he may think of her job, she could just be the girl of his dreams (and not just his nightmares). This is a refreshingly funny and joyfully rude sitcom that proudly celebrates sex, nonconformity, and doing the wrong thing.As an Audio Show - free for members - when you add Slaving Away to your library, you'll get all 6 episodes, each with a runtime of about 30 minutes.©2016 Miranda Kane/Unusual Productions (P)2016 Audible, Ltd.

    Jeffrey Archer continues the Clifton Chronicles series in Mightier than the Sword. In it, the Barrington and Clifton families continue to navigate the turbulent politics of the twentieth century at the global and local levels, helping to guide their firms, their country and their world as the circumstances of each change. A new generation of the combined family begins to take its place in shaping the family’s fortune, bespeaking a promise of more to come. Jeffrey Archer’s latest installment in the series, depicts the continuing affairs of the Barrington and Clifton families as they engage in new ventures. Barrington Shipping launches a new liner, which is immediately beset by problems from those opposed to the Barringtons and the Britain of which they are an integral part. At the same time, various members of the Barrington and Clifton families—most notably Sebastian—face personal and professional trials that help them to accrue and maintain power with which not only to enrich themselves but to try to maintain what is good about the passing world while embracing what is good in the emergent. This companion to Mightier than the Sword also includes the following: • Book Review • Story Setting Analysis • Story elements you may have missed as we decipher the novel • Details of Characters & Key Character Analysis • Summary of the text, with some analytical comments interspersed • Thought Provoking /or Discussion Questions for both Readers & Book Clubs • Discussion & Analysis of Themes, Symbols… • And Much More! This Analysis of Mightier than the Sword fills the gap, making you understand more while enhancing your reading experience.

    Join Joey and his sister Mary Alice as they spend nine unforgettable summers with the worst influence imaginable--their grandmother!

    In this insightful and funny collection of personal stories Vowell—widely hailed for her inimitable stories on public radio's This American Life—ponders a number of curious questions: Why is she happiest when visiting the sites of bloody struggles like Salem or Gettysburg? Why do people always inappropriately compare themselves to Rosa Parks? Why is a bad life in sunny California so much worse than a bad life anywhere else? What is it about the Zen of foul shots? And, in the title piece, why must doubt and internal arguments haunt the sleepless nights of the true patriot? Her essays confront a wide range of subjects, themes, icons, and historical moments: Ike, Teddy Roosevelt, and Bill Clinton; Canadian Mounties and German filmmakers; Tom Cruise and Buffy the Vampire Slayer; twins and nerds; the Gettysburg Address, the State of the Union, and George W. Bush's inauguration.The result is a teeming and engrossing book, capturing Vowell's memorable wit and her keen social commentary.