Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life


Henry Cloud - 1992
    A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash a Revolution in Your Life In Christ


Peter Scazzero - 2006
    Even though he was pastor of a growing church, he did what most people do:Avoid conflict in the name of ChristianityIgnore his anger, sadness, and fearUse God to run from GodLive without boundariesEventually God awakened him to a biblical integration of emotional health, a relationship with Jesus, and the classic practices of contemplative spirituality. It created nothing short of a spiritual revolution, utterly transforming him and his church.In this book Scazzero outlines his journey and the signs of emotionally unhealthy spirituality. Then he provides seven biblical, reality-tested ways to break through to the revolutionary life Christ meant for you.“The combination of emotional health and contemplative spirituality,” he says, “unleashes the Holy Spirit inside us so that we might experientially know the power of an authentic life in Christ.”

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World


Desmond Tutu - 2013
    If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation.Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.

The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe about Ourselves


Curt Thompson - 2015
    Its name is shame.Whether we realize it or not, shame affects every aspect of our personal lives and vocational endeavors. It seeks to destroy our identity in Christ, replacing it with a damaged version of ourselves that results in unhealed pain and brokenness. But God is telling a different story for your life.Psychiatrist Curt Thompson unpacks the soul of shame, revealing its ubiquitous nature and neurobiological roots. He also provides the theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle shame, based on years of researching its damaging effects and counseling people to overcome those wounds.Thompson's expertise and compassion will help you identify your own pains and struggles and find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that bind you. Rewrite the story of your life and embrace healing and wholeness as you discover and defeat shame's insidious agenda.

Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy


Aundi Kolber - 2020
    If we’re honest, we’ve been overfunctioning for so long, we can’t even imagine another way. How else will things get done? How else will we survive?It doesn’t have to be this way.Aundi Kolber believes that we don’t have to white-knuckle our way through life. In her debut book, Try Softer, she’ll show us how God specifically designed our bodies and minds to work together to process our stories and work through obstacles. Through the latest psychology, practical clinical exercises, and her own personal story, Aundi equips and empowers us to connect us to our truest self and truly live. This is the “try softer” life.In Try Softer, you’ll learn how to: Know and set emotional and relational boundaries Make sense of the difficult experiences you’ve had Identify your attachment style—and how that affects your relationships today Move through emotions rather than get stuck by them Grow in self-compassion and talk back to your inner critic Trying softer is sacred work. And while it won’t be perfect or easy, it will be worth it. Because this is what we were made for: a living, breathing, moving, feeling, connected, beautifully incarnational life.

Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?


Gary L. Thomas - 2000
    Holy is better.Your marriage is more than a sacred covenant with another person. It is a spiritual discipline designed to help you know God better, trust him more fully, and love him more deeply. What if God s primary intent for your marriage isn t to make you happy . . . but holy?Sacred Marriage doesn't just offer techniques to make a marriage happier. It does contain practical tools, but what married Christians most need is help in becoming holier husbands and wives. Sacred Marriage offers that help with insights from Scripture, church history, time tested wisdom from Christian classics, and examples from today's marriages.Sacred Marriage reveals how marriage trains us to love God and others well, how it exposes sin and makes us more aware of God's presence, how good marriages foster good prayer, how married sex feeds the spiritual life, and more.The revised edition of Sacred Marriage takes into account the ways men's and women's roles have expanded since the book was first written. It has been streamlined to be a faster read without losing the depth that so many readers have valued.Sacred Marriage uncovers the mystery of God s overarching purpose. This book may very well alter profoundly the contours of your marriage. It will most certainly change you. Because whether it is delightful or difficult, your marriage can become a doorway to a closer walk with God, and to a spiritual integrity that, like salt, seasons the world around you with the savor of Christ."

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God


Timothy J. Keller - 2011
    All those modern-day assumptions are, in a word, wrong.Using the Bible as his guide, coupled with insightful commentary from his wife of thirty-six years, Kathy, Timothy Keller shows that God created marriage to bring us closer to him and to bring us more joy in our lives. It is a glorious relationship that is also the most misunderstood and mysterious. With a clear-eyed understanding of the Bible, and meaningful instruction on how to have a successful marriage, The Meaning of Marriage is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.

The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption


Matt Chandler - 2015
    We need it. Because emotions rise and fall with a single glance, touch, kiss, or word. And we are inundated with songs, movies, and advice that contradicts God's design for love and intimacy. Matt Chandler helps navigate these issues for both singles and marrieds by revealing the process Solomon himself followed: Attraction, Courtship, Marriage ... even Arguing. The Mingling of Souls will forever change how you view and approach love.

Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul


John Eldredge - 2001
    Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free!

The Bait Of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense


John Bevere - 1994
    Most people who are ensnared by the bait of Satan don't even realize it. Don't be fooled! You will encounter offense, and it's up to you how it will affect your relationship with God. Your response will determine your future. If offense is handled correctly, you will become stronger rather than bitter.In this tenth anniversary edition of his best-selling book, John Bevere shows you how to stay free from offense and escape the victim mentality. With more than 400,000 copies in print, this book includes testimonials of transformed people who have read copies in print, this book includes testimonials of transformed people who have read the original book and a devotional supplement, featuring discussion questions, scriptures, and prayers.You will find answers to tough questions like these:Why am I compelled to tell "my side" of the story? How can I fight thoughts of suspicion or distrust? What can I do to stop rehearsing past hurts? How can I regain trust after someone deeply offends me?This book will help you escape the enemy's "offensive trap" as well as empower you to stay free of offense, enabling you to have an unhindered relationship with God.

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage


Willard F. Harley Jr. - 1986
    In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs. The revised anniversary edition of His Needs, Her Needs is a celebration of how the book has helped thousands of couples revitalize their marriages during the last fifteen years. This best-seller identifies the causes of marital difficulties and instructs couples on how to prevent them, guiding them to build a relationship that sustains romance and increases intimacy. With today's soaring divorce rate and prevalence of affairs, Harley's insights are needed more than ever before.An unabridged recording of His Needs, Her Needs, the 15th anniversary edition, is now available as an audio book.

Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age


Ben Stuart - 2017
    This book unlocks each season's God-given purpose and shows you how to thrive within it.In a society where everyone is supposedly more connected, why do people feel so lonely? Even as marriage rates decline, recent studies find the overwhelming majority of single adults still hope to get married. But how can we navigate life and love in this disconnected culture? Has social media eroded the institutions that brought us together--and the deeper emotional intimacy they provided?Pastor and bestselling author Ben Stuart will help you navigate through the four stages of a relational life and show you how to look at the truths and intentions God has established for each.As you embark on this journey, you will discover how to:Use singleness to make an impact for the kingdom of GodPursue dating with clarity and purityUse the season of engagement wisely to prepare for marriageMaximize your life as a married couple for shared ministryContinually seek God and His will throughout each stageDiscover how to embrace God's design, invest your life in what matters most, and find meaning in whatever season of life you're in.

The Five Love Languages for Singles


Gary Chapman - 2001
    The core message has hit home with over 5 million people as it focuses on the need to "feel" loved. This need is felt by married and singles alike. Dr. Chapman now tackles the unique circumstances that singles face, and integrates how the same five love languages apply in their relationships. For example, in a business environment, when and how is physical touch appropriate? Take the love language test included.

Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That's Beautiful Again


Lysa TerKeurst - 2020
    Lysa TerKeurst has wrestled through this journey. But in surprising ways, she's discovered how to let go of bound-up resentment and overcome the resistance to forgiving people who aren't willing to make things right.With deep empathy, therapeutic insight, and rich Bible teaching coming out of more than 1,000 hours of theological study, Lysa will help you:Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they're sorry.Walk through a step-by-step process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended today.Discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now.Identify what's stealing trust and vulnerability from your relationships so you can believe there is still good ahead.Disempower the triggers hijacking your emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness.

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship


Joshua Harris - 2000
    But if you're looking for an intentional, God-pleasing game plan for finding a future spouse, Joshua Harris delivers an appealing one. A compelling new foreword, an all-new "8 Great Courtship Conversations" section, and updated material throughout makes this five-year revision of the original Boy Meets Girl a must-have! Harris illustrates how biblical courtship--a healthy, joyous alternative to recreational dating--worked for him and his wife. Boy Meets Girl presents an inspiring, practical example for readers wanting to pursue the possibility of marriage with someone they may be serious about.Are you ready for "romance with purpose"? If you're fed up with self-centered relationships that end in disillusionment, it's time to rethink romance. Finding the loving, committed relationship you want shouldn't mean throwing away your hopes, your integrity, or your heart.In Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris --the guy who kissed dating goodbye--makes the case for courtship. As old-fashioned as it might sound, courtship is what modern day relationships desperately need. Think of it as romance chaperoned by wisdom, cared for by community, and directed by God's Word.Filled with inspiring stories from men and women who have rediscovered courtship, Boy Meets Girl is honest, romantic, and refreshingly biblical. Keep God at the center of your relationship as you discover how to:- Set a clear course for your romance - Get closer without compromise - Find support in a caring community - Deal with past sexual sin - Make the right decisions about your future New! Courtship Conversations Eight ideas for great dates that will help grow and guide your relationship.Story Behind the Book"I wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye to challenge singles to drop the worldly approach to serial dating and reconsider the way they pursued romance in light of God's Word. Since then, I've received letters asking questions like, So, what comes between friendship and marriage? and, How can you know when you are ready for marriage? Boy Meets Girl answers those questions. Now as a happily married man I can look back on my courtship with Shannon and see from personal experience that God is faithful. If you trust Him enough to wait on romance in dating, He will lovingly guide you as you pursue it in courtship...right to that wonderful moment when you kneel together at the altar." -- Joshua Harris